feathered traitors

Good Job, Barry! Big Bird Totally Voting For Romney Now

Swing voterOh hey liberals, remember how in the opening moments of the first presidential debate Mitt Romney was all like “I love Big Bird, but he should not be paid for with taxes,” and you thought this was hilarious, but then Obama started losing and then you peed your pants and launched into a five-day crying jag? Well, Barry’s handlers want to bring you back to a kinder, gentler time, when Mitt Romney was just some stiff doofus who was going to lose so bad in November, and not the guy who was literally going to murder you in your sleep, with his Presidential gun. So they made an a jokey ad where they made fun of Romney wanting to get rid of Big Bird, ha ha! Only … now they’ve managed to piss off Big Bird.

Here, here is the ad, and isn’t all in good fun?

Oh except WHOOPS the people at Sesame Workshop and no doubt PBS in general are … a little sensitive about having their doings dragged into electoral politics, maybe because they would like to keep their jobs when a Republican is elected president, as one inevitably will be, some day?

Sesame Workshop is a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization and we do not endorse candidates or participate in political campaigns,” the group said. “We have approved no campaign ads, and as is our general practice, have requested that the ad be taken down.”

Gah, whoops! Good thing strictly enforced voter ID laws prevent felt anthropomorphic beast-things from voting. (Also, all the Sesame Street humans are total liberals, just like you always assumed.) [CBS]

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

Comments

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  • nounverb911

    And Mitt's going to totally have Big Bird for Thanksgiving dinner.

    • Terry

      He needs to cook a bird that big to feed all the future inhabitants of his planet. Excuse me, he needs to have his help cook such a bird. I can't imagine old Mitt in the kitchen.

      • finallyhappy

        yeah, that is like the California Tortilla "contest"- you can pick the Mexican meatloaf that Ann made for Mitt- as if Ann even knows what a kitchen is.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      I dunno. He's pretty big to put in one of those turkey beheader things Snowbilly made so famous.

    • samedwards_net

      Why have Thanksgiving dinner when Job Creators have no one to thank?

  • hagajim

    Big Bird Bails when Brought to Bear: Breaking!

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Elmo, on the other hand, will cut a bitch and volunteered to appear.

    • LibertyLover

      Elmo just likes to tickle people to death.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        That was when he still had a comfortable house to go home to.

        • trondant

          Now he just hangs out in Central Park all day screaming at people about joos.

          • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

            Elmolung my friend, don't you start away uneasy….

          • LibertyLover

            "And some fresh-sown Elmostone was messin with his frozen zone to remind him of the feeling of romance…"

          • bikerlaureate

            I don't know why you say goodbye /
            I say Elmo.

        • LibertyLover

          You'd think that Oscar would share his garbage can.

    • finallyhappy

      Elmo's guy is the large black Kevin Clash from Baltimore

      • Negropolis

        If that's true, why didn't we ever see Elmo on The Wire?

  • anniegetyerfun

    What are they going to do, heh? Pummel Obama with their furry/feathered little fists?

  • The_Peckerwood

    On the verge of a world monetary collapse… on the verge of war with Iran…. global economic failure…. NDAA…. Patriot Act….. record unemployment… what is the media yapping about?

    Big FUCKING Bird…. no wonder we're god damn doomed.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    The main reason Romney-ites claim he is winning is that it feels so much better than panicking.

    • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

      yes. i feel that.

  • mrpuma2u

    Big Bird is going to come crashing into the next debate riding Snuffalupagus and trample both candidates.

    • alteredimages

      But since only kids can see Snuffleupagus, it's gonna look a bird that big can actually fly… Also, i demand to see Oscar smack a bitch.

  • LibertyLover

    Is Big Bird one of the varmints that Mitt Romney likes to hunt?

    • nounverb911

      Has Mitt figured out which end of the shotgun to hold yet? (With votes, just in case someone gets annoyed).

    • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

      Why, yes. Yes, he is.

  • Serolf_Divad

    And in their next ad, the ghost of Mr. Rogers will strangle the ghost of Andrew Breitbart with his cardigan.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ChillBill

    I still can't tell the difference between Ann and Big Bird.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      Big Bird's the nice one.

    • LibertyLover

      Egg wears clothes.

    • CthuNHu

      When Big Bird got laid, —

      — the gods didn't avert their eyes in horror.

      — the soundtrack was "Cluck cluck cluck clu-CLUCK!," not "Ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha."

      — no batteries were required.

    • Negropolis

      Big Bird shares.

  • ElPinche

    Big Bird = Hitler

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    Guess Big Bird was too yellow for hardball politics.

  • mille derps

    Well, we THOUGHT Romney only hunted small varmints, but it looks like he's going for bigger game after all.

    How's that Etch-a-Sketch thing working out for ya, Romney?

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Don't make Big Bird angry, you would like him when he is angry.

  • YouBetcha

    DGAF. Honestly, seriously, DGAF. Bert & Ernie could launch into hardcore gay puppet porn on tomorrow's Sesame Street, and I still wouldn't GAF.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    It's not cool to make fun of birds. This is a fact I think.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    It's a good thing the candidates are staying focused on the real problems plaguing this country.

  • savethispatient

    Of course, the take-down notice just extends the coverage of the rather silly ad, so JOB DONE?

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      The clear logic of asking for forgiveness rather than permission.

  • http://www.wonkette.com Lionel[redacted]Esq

    Big Oil, Big Banks, and now Big Bird. Is there anyone that Obama hasn't offended?

  • Ryy

    Last time I saw Sesame Street the humans were are black and some sorta brown accenty whatev, and it was in some big city like Chicago. So clearly, Acorn and food stamps and socialism.

  • SmutBoffin

    Noted entertainer Dr. Teeth (and his band The Electric Mayhem) are, however, available for campaign events.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212
      • SmutBoffin

        That made me sob a little. :^(

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Everyone knows that anthropomorphic beast-things have a liberal bias.

    • alteredimages

      Except Grover, who's a pothead Libertarian. You just know it.

  • nonbeliever7

    I think Big Bird maybe needs a Chik-Fil-A make-over.

  • sbj1964

    It dose not appear to be a problem the Bird will be around longer than the month of November unlike Mittens.

  • ThankYouJeebus

    I just keep flashing to Foghorn Leghorn scolding Bammers:
    I say, I say, what's the big idea, son?

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    This should nail down the preschool/stoner vote.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Going on unemployment will work out well for Oscar the Grouch, since he is already so underprivileged as to be living in a garbage can.

  • Oblios_Cap

    Romney better stop fuckin' with the big Bird. That Yellow Menace will shove his beak so far up Willard's ass that Romney will have a yellow tongue.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Sesame Workshop is a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization and we do not endorse candidates or participate in political campaigns,” the group said.

    Oh please. Everyone knows that Bert and Ernie are totally representing Big Gay.

    • YouBetcha

      Velvet Mafia? Felt Mafia, actually.

    • Negropolis

      They are definitely in the pocket of Big Gay.

  • Callyson

    Brought to you by the letters F U C K R O M N E Y.

  • dcjdjay

    I thought Romney brought Big Bird into the debate.

    This group needs to get off its high horse. If Romney wins, Big Bird will need to prostate before Kelloggs just to get on the air.

  • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

    I'm waiting to see who Snuffleupagus endorses.

  • HempDogbane

    Yellow journalism at its worst.

  • Crank_Tango

    Keep fucking that giant gay yellow chicken you guys.

    • natl_[redacted]_cmdr

      w i n.

  • owhatever

    Has Big Bird ever shown us his long-form birth certificate? He's bright yellow. His show is paid for by money from China. Hello?

  • http://lostintarnation.blogspot.com/ SayItWithWookies

    First they came for Big Bird — and I said nothing, because I had a corner on the honey-mustard market.

  • Schmannnity

    Peckerhead.

  • kyeshinka

    Telly Monster seems like the kind of guy who would vote for Romney. Just something about that whiny bastard really rubs me the wrong way.

  • LibertyLover

    Meanwhile, Republicans on Sesame Street are planning on suppressing the Muppet vote.

  • poorgradstudent

    Seriously, everyone…PBS DOES OTHER THINGS! (Awesome Terry Jones documentaries, for one…).

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Meh! That's what H2 is for now.

      PS "TLC" (used to be called The Learning Channel") was actually started by HEW and NASA to provide education on cable as PBS was starting to lose the thread. Now they show Honey Boo Boo. Keep that in mind.

    • Negropolis

      But, nothing quite has the impact of the idea that Romney is going to make your children cry….for freedom. Nothing.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    100% of muppets pay no taxes!!1!

  • bfddad

    Somewhere out there is an "Osama Bird Laden" joke just waiting to happen, but I can't think of it for the life of me.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

    This Take Down Request was brought to you by the Enron and the letter z.

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/2012/06/introducing-bad-note-millstones-of-jazz.html Chet Kincaid_

    Every program on PBS in, say, 1984, is now an entire cable network. PBS could fund itself by suing all those motherfuckers Steve Jobs-style.

  • http://www.proofnpudding.com muthalovin

    Grover strikes me as a Paultard.

  • http://www.facebook.com/pages/Johnny-Appletruth/133951326629923?sk=wall deanbooth

    The Learning Channel was originally government funded but was privatized in 1980. If Romney wins, Big Bird will be replaced by Big Foot.

  • http://whateverworks4you.blogspot.com/2012/10/romney-war.html Whttevrr

    Stupid Bird! I hope that tall androgynous feather fuck is ready to go to war!

  • Antispandex

    "Sesame Workshop is a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization and we do not endorse candidates or participate in political campaigns,”…..

    See? I LOVE that. So very like Americans, in America today, that you remain nonpartisan, even when people want to put you out of a job! That, I think, represents American politics, in today's America, better than any old lame campaign ad ever could!

    • Redgyal

      And yet churches aren't afraid to endorse a candidate. Some non profits didn't get the memo.

    • Negropolis

      No, it doesn't speak to America, but American liberals, who will roll over to show you their bellies so that you may gut them, and then they'll apologize for not rolling over fast enough.

  • Come here a minute

    My Fargo North Decoder ring translates “We have approved no campaign ads, and as is our general practice, have requested that the ad be taken down" to "Fuck Mitt Romney and the horse he danced in on — VOTE OBAMA!!!"

  • AnAmericanInTO

    Didn't stop Big Bird from appearing on SNL on Weekend Update, no less. Yeah, that's not putting yourself in the middle of a campaign.

  • Redgyal

    Speaking of muppets, I have proof that Cookie Monster is really from the Caribbean. http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=FXB5BWG3JxM&de

  • ttommyunger

    Just keep fuckin that chicken, Mittens.

  • Negropolis

    This proves Sesame Workshop is a liberal organization. Only a liberal organization would attempt to distance itself from a friend. A conservative outfit would issue some half-assed "I'm sorry if you were offended" type statement and then tell you to fuck off with your criticism. Why? Shut up, that's why.

  • Negropolis

    Fucking 47%. Living in some New York ghetto on the government dole. Get a job, you hippy.

  • http://dismalpseudoscientist.wordpress.com Incitefully_Joe

    Oh except WHOOPS the people at Sesame Workshop and no doubt PBS in general are … a little sensitive about having their doings dragged into electoral politics, maybe because they would like to keep their jobs when a Republican is elected president, as one inevitably will be, some day?

    I'm sure they do, but the whole point is that Republicans don't feel the same way, and have made that a point of party orthodoxy, complete with promises to do something about it as soon as they have control of the government. Honestly, electoral partisanship aside, it's sorta incumbent upon these folks to defend their own jobs against attack, as well, but here they are not only refusing to do so, but decrying other politicians from speaking up on their behalf.

    How far they've come, from the days when Fred Rogers spoke before the Senate to defend Public Broadcasting and public funding of early child educational programming.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    The attack on Big Bird is merely a subterfuge, the real target is the gay marriage of Ernie and Bert, one of the longest such relationships in the nation's history. I'm kind of actually not joking.