Why so sad, Clarence Thomas?
[Clarence] Thomas can on occasion be melancholy in his speeches, such as saying he sometimes envies the seemingly carefree lives he sees from his chamber windows. Several years ago, he told a group of high school students that he sometimes gets “morose,” and bucks himself up by reading inspirational speeches or retreating to the basement to watch the movie “Saving Private Ryan.”
What are some happier movies with which Clarence Thomas can console himself for the terrible burden of having a lifelong gig bossing presidents and snuggling with ol’ Cuddles Scalia?
- The Road: A boy and his dad realize the Libertarian dream of a DIY pioneering spirit!
- The Deerhunter: Brave Americans conquer all. Also, cool guns.
- Sophie’s Choice: The sacrifice of a mother’s love, even though she is not even American.
- AI: Courageous American robot almost stuck with stupid ending of eternal “hope,” until aliens save the day by giving him a 1950s mommy for like five minutes, then he dies.
Oh yeah, also this article makes “news” with Clarence Thomas admitting black people maybe weren’t protected by the all-knowing Founding Fathers, but it’s cool, he didn’t mind.
[WaPo]
{ 183 comments }
Why can't Clarence just be so morose that he doesn't speak at all and save us the trouble of listening to his blather? You know, like he does in court?
Yeah, why can't he just drop out of the Supremes altogether….?
His silence in court is based on a lack of curiosity..
Um, I think we all know what Thomas watches to "buck himself up." Something more along the lines of "Shaving Ryan's Privates."
Followed by "Nailin Palin" natch.
His first choice was to enter the preisthood…I'm just sayin'…
So, boy kiddie pr0n, then?
He must have been the one Black Catholic in the South outside of Nawlins.
That 2009 classic, Pubic Enemies?
Number One or Number Two? I get them confused.
So does David Vitter.
Chief Justice Roberts recently turned down Thomas' request that his (Thomas') votes only count as 3/5 those of the other justices. Thomas called it another setback for strict constructionists.
retreating to the basement to watch the movie “Saving Private Ryan.”
He especially likes fapping to the scene where the guy's face gets blown off.
I thought he only liked watching porn.
War porn counts.
It was probably the Movie "Saving Ryan's Privates".
That's what I'd resort to if I was married to Ginny.
Hey, if the life of a Supreme Court Justice has you feeling down, you could always retire; that should make you happy. Try doing it tomorrow!
Or retroactively to today.
Or retroactively back to just before the Citizen's United decision.
With Bain's consulting help, he could pre-date Bush v Gore.
It would make a lot of people happy.
Then he'd have to spend more time with the family… Ginny!!
Which is not only a nickname but a description of her contents!
And he'd cut into her time for drunken harassment of his previous harassment targets.
The fact that I didn't understand any context of this makes me happy – not clicking on wapo's link
I'm pretty sure that is a misprint, and that Justice Thomas retreats to his basement to watch Saving Ryan's Privates..
Silkwood: Corporations really are all powerful.
You know what would cheer up Justice Thomas?
Retirement.
His retirement would cheer up a hell of a lot of people.
Waking up and finding that his wife was miraculously switched with Anita Hill?
I'm sure he'd have a Coke and a smile.
Crank calling seems to perk up his old lady…he should try that.
Triumph of the Shill.
His favorite musical is "Hair."
His favorite scene is the draft induction exams capped by that fabulous number, 'Black Boys/White Boys'.
"Mein Kampf" directors cut.
Beauty and the Beast – the one co-starring Seka and his buddy L.D. Silver, obvs.
"AI: Courageous American robot almost stuck with stupid ending of eternal “hope,” until aliens save the day by giving him a 1950s mommy for like five minutes, then he dies."
Perfect!!!
Why does everybody always think those were aliens?
Well, it might be my personal bias. But I don't think the human race lasts past 2059.
Am I the only pedantic fuck who realizes they were super-evolved robots?
Ah, I can see that angle.
Indeed, they were
No.
I've always thought that movie was seriously underrated.
It was a great film.
Up to the end. The "catharsis" of David's regeneration at the end was wholly unnecessary. Let the poor robot die as unhappy as the humans who tried to kill him.
It really would be a much better film if it ended with the robot hopelessly pleading before the blue fairy statue, without that tacked-on Spielberg happy ending.
Yeah…I think the movie was really quite good…and I know I'm in the minority for saying I didn't mind the ending. Honestly though, the ending where he doesn't sort of get his wish would work for a book, but not a film. Structurally films must always have a conflict resolution unless they are non-linear, AI fit the classic format, not the Tarantino format. If anything, the ending works well in the stories universe: David goes to the bottom of the ocean hoping for magic…and is saved by technology, for a day. I thought the ending was a downer myself and its foreshadowed well during the whole "imprint" scene. I mean, the ending combines both the reach of nostalgia, but also the limits of it. David wants nothing more than to return to things how they were before he's expelled and goes on this traumatic journey to find it…does he? no. He gets to have his perfect day and dies….what's the message there? Who WANTS that ending? No, the cheesy ending would have been him somehow finding the family, everyone apologizing to each other and so forth….no, I thought the ending was sad for the character because there is no real pay off.
So, you are saying that the movie was like an orgasm with a stranger? Lots of set up, brief moment of bliss, and huge let down? Or is it just that Clarence always makes me think about sad, lonely, anonymous sex?
Not that I disagree that is how films are made, but why must films always have conflict resolution? That's not how life always works. Sometimes you don't get closure. It's called a "tragedy".
Maybe drinking an ice cold Coke would cheer him up!
With extra hair!
I'd enjoy spending an afternoon wif Justice Thomas, smoking meth and watching "Blazing Saddles"
You remember that one time? When he asked a question from the bench? That was pretty cool. Also, remember that other time? That time Justice Thomas wrote that decision? Yeah, that was a fun day. Maybe he'll do it again one day.
I could do his job, apparently. How much do we pay him?
You remember that one time? When he asked a question from the bench?
No.
Was that during band camp?
I attended one argument before SCOTUS when I worked at a DC law firm. I honestly believe that Thomas was asleep about 90% of the time during the arguments.
Don't they have clerks to do all that paying attention and researching stuff for them? I always thought the only reason they retired is that they didn't want to literally start decomposing while hearing cases.
Hasn’t this man given enough to his country, does any man deserve retirement more. Retire good sir no one could possibly blame you. Don’t you deserve to spend your remaning years enjoying a carefree life with your beautiful bride?
Whatever. Give him a gold watch and send him packing. ASAP.
After bucking himself up with some movie time, Justice Thomas gets right back to the hard work of agreeing with Antonin Scalia and not asking questions.
Being a bag man for Tony Soprano's written decisions is tough work.
"It's better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt."
Mark Twain(?)
His NASCAR addiction may have something to do with Clarey’s sadness. Being around all that white trailer trashiness eventually wears on a body.
For the record, I did not date this man. Even I have standards.
I had a friend, back in my federal government days, who worked directly with Clarence and Anita at the Office for Civil Rights (before they went to the EEOC). He had no doubt about who was telling the truth on that one.
The Road: A boy and his dad realize the Libertarian dream of a DIY pioneering spirit!
…while evading marauding cannibals because, you know, no government anymore, you forgot to add.
my cousin used to retreated to the basement to watch "Shaving Ryan's Privates"….
That sounds a wee bit Romneyesque.
He's got a point, Ted Danson movies are always good for a laugh.
For god sakes man, do yourself a favor and retire in January. Take some time to have a coke, watch some movies and enjoy yourself. I'm sure President Obama will give a nice little send off speech for you about how you've done enough to your country.
Give him a gold watch and shove it up his ass. On second thought, make that a gold mantel clock with sharp edges.
He keeps waiting for the part where Paul Ryan gets saved.
I love that part of the movie… and after that, Ryan unleashes holy hell on the enemy in his urban assault oscar meyer weiner vehicle….
Saving Private Ryan!?!? Who's he trying to kid? Thomas has a legendary stash of circa-1980's porn tapes down there!
I find this hard to crap to. Hey, Clarence, try "White Men Can't Hump" with a pube Coke.
Thomas can on occasion be melancholy in his speeches, such as saying he sometimes envies the seemingly carefree lives he sees from his chamber windows.
The panhandlers on the Mall live such a carefree existence, yes. Just think, Justice Thomas, they don't have to worry about shoes or clothing or putting food on the table. No, they rely on the kindness of strangers just like Buddhist monks!
He can add another "Tom" to his collection: Peeping Tom.
And no taxes! Lucky Duckies!
He could join them. Really, we wouldn't mind. Have a long — eternal even — vacation.
When morosity visits the Thomas household:
Clarence retreats to the dark basement, watching movies of soldiers violently dismembered by the thousands.
Ginny loads up on boxed wine, and drunk dials Clarence's old harassment victims.
These two need a vacation together. To reconnect.
I'd prefer they disconnect.
Or kill one another.
Holding handing in outside matching bathtubs? So, so romantical.
Long Dong Silver was supposed to be in Saving Private Ryan but he got cut.
Now he's Semi-Long Dong Silver, ba da bing….
Or Circumcised Silver.
I'd like to make a sarcastic comment, but I can't. Clarence Thomas is an incredible intellect. He's also a victim. He's also a severely damaged person who wound up being like those who'd abused him – a grudge-filled, bigoted nihilist.
It's just that "nihilist" isn't a qualification a judge wants to advertise.
He ceased being a victim – if he ever was – the minute he decided that it was his job to revictimize actual victims from the bench and then have the gall to be silent about it. He is the worst kind of toad.
Even the devil can quote scripture…share you sympathy for someone more deserving.
Both from the bench and, before that, using his power as an employer. He has a long history of revictimization.
I'm sure Eleanor Rigby is one of his favorite songs. And he likes to watch Requiem For A Dream as a pick-me-up.
Leaves his voice in a jar by the door. Who is it for?
Clarence Thomas has a lot in common with Barbra Streisand — in that I don't give a shit about her feelings, either.
I wonder if Morris Albert does?
What kind of drinks do you order from a bar bra?
Breast milk?
I like zombie movies.
I like turtles.
Have you guys met Derrick Wildcat? He likes birds.
Why's he changed it to a cat on his head, then?
Turtles are always happy.
Huh, he always struck as a Blue Velet kind of a guy.
Eraserhead–to send him over the edge
He can read "To Live", the Chinese novel in which every fucking member of the family dies because of communism.
The movie was more hopeful, so I don't recommend it.
Good movie!
Or, They Live! With the aliens and the magic sunglasses and the subliminal messages!
The Notebook ought to cheer Clarence right up. After all, given his proclamations that all healthcare is unconstitutional, presumable olds dying is a laugh riot in the Thomas household.
When he's feeling particularly lachrymose, Clarence will put on either "Poetry Man," "Wedding Bell Blues," or "Muskrat Love."
Is it wrong that I know all three of those songs?
I loved Phoebe. Ever hear "Belle of the Blues?"
Got me through some tough teen-age times.
Play the "Muskrat Love" 45 at 33-1/3. If you are stoned, it will be hilarious!
To be fair, those first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan are totes adorable! Cute overload!
It's even cuter than a baby orangutan!
She was cute.
I think we spent a good ten or fifteen minutes watching her play; she was so cute. And I see they've got some videos of her up too:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_JI-VZ2L_Q http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2kdLynM4NA&fe…
Somehow, this isn't what I imagined you guys did when you got together.
He should try the first 20 minutes of Clockwork Orange….more porny…
"Birth of a Nation": Wise and Loving White Knights on horseback rectify voting fraud abuses of hateful communistic liberal ACORN-loving Obamadrones.
I have never seen a person so accomplished, someone who has reached the highest reach of his career, feel so goddammed sorry for himself. Is there anything about this man that is not repugnant?
He knows that he was affirmatively actioned to the Bench. That irony sticks in his craw.
Worst of all by conservatives who do not, and never will, respect him. He knows he will never be accepted by more liberal folks, but knowing that after it is all settled he is still considered an inferior human being, nearly a subspecies by the people who got him there has to burn like the heat of a thousand white suns. He knows he will never be considered one of the greats to hold the position, he knows that those who support him only do so to his face.
Like Allen West.
Thomas knew he was nominated solely because he was a black conservative, not because of any qualifications for the bench. He is there to do what he is told, like any other servant of the rich and powerful. If he had any self-respect he would retire. But he doesn' so he won't.
His good taste in brides? (Bleeck – I just nauseated myself)
Actually, no, no there is not.
Only his parents call him Clarence. Everyone else calls him Lumpy.
A few people call him Dribble. Dunno why.
"Last King of Scotland"? He's got a look going here….
Why would he ever be morose? He's dumb as a rock, has all the charm & charisma of a wet blanket and he's on a LIFETIME gig on the Supreme Court. Who's the affirmative action teat sucker now?
He looks more like Blah HItler than an emo.
Yes, I'm being redundant, but isn't Clarence a "Family Values" porn hound?
Clarence Thomas haz a sad? We could chip in for a one-way ticket to Somalia, where taxes are much lower.
♫ ♬ Koch, Cock, Coke Choo ♫ ♬
Police, DEA, School Boards, and worried parents are suddenly looking for information on a new drug called 'morose'.
Be honest wonkers, if your spouse was that much of a drunken embarrassment, you'd hold off retirement for as long as possible and maybe partake in some war porn too.
I have never had the guts to watch "Saving Private Ryan". And as I get older, the list is winnowing as I seem to be getting more squeamish.
I heard Jenna Jameson is a Reptardlican. Maybe she could cum out of retirement and he could get in to it?
Good ol' Jenna is one facelift away from a severely cleft chin and nipples on the back of her head. At least she would be more interesting than most republican women.
Maybe his wife can cheer him up by harassing Anita Hill some more?
¡Shaft!
The Wings of a Dove: Two attractive young
griftersentrepreneurs befriend a terminally ill rich girl, so one can marry her for her fortune just before she kicks off. Saddest and least sexy lovemaking scene ever filmed is the ending.The image of him cuddlin' up with Scalia is totes preferable to that of him cuddlin' up with Gin(soaked)ny.
I need a bleach bath.
Leaving Las Vegas comes to mind…
Clarence should be so happy, not morose, since Mittens belongs to a church, LDS, that Thomas thinks worships his favorite star of the screen LDS.
go with clive owen man! 'shoot em up' always gets me excited!
is that a pubic hair?
Clarence especially likes the opening scene where the infantry storms Anita Hill
Hey! Don't forget "Benjamin Button". Talk about "carefree"! By the time he shrinks into a small child he could care less!
"Roots." But he has to run it backwards so it has a happy ending.
2001 Space Oddity The World's First Black Astronaut….
He should try "Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol" which is slightly better "PA6: City under Seige" .Policy Academy Epic is a series Biblical stories through the eyes of Hightower, the Messianic protagonist. The filmmakers were clever to make Guttenberg the false prophet which helped detached the audience's reality from Bobcat Goldwait's tour de force method style. Plus the black guy who made funny noises tickled my ear holes! please subscribe to my newsletter.
A Boy and His Dog
The Ruling Class
The Wicker Man (original – 1973)
and of course, always and forever
A Clockwork Orange
He watches Saving Private Ryan to make him feel better? Are you kidding me? I took my mother to see it, all she did was cry – from start to finish. That is a most depressing movie. I wish this fucking guy would retire.
"Several years ago, he told a group of high school students that he sometimes gets “morose,” and bucks himself up by reading inspirational speeches or retreating to the basement to watch the movie “Saving Private Ryan.”
Actually easier to watch the movie than having to perform it. Kinda like Long Dong Silver.
His deathbed word will be, "Barbarella."
After Private Ryan cheers him up, he pops in The Grapes of Wrath for a good chuckle. Because that was the good old days when wealthy landowners (jerb creators) could just beat the shit out of the homeless poorz without any repercussions. And there was no socialist safety net and no communist unions. The end.
"Treasure Island" comes to mind.
But then he throws the saddle on Ginnie, dons his assless chaps, spooges in her face, and it's all good again.
Yeah, right . He meant "Saving Ryan's Privates", "The Choad", "Queerhunter", "Sophie's Moist", and "Anal Intelligence."
How about The Joy Luck Club? That one is a real knee-slapper.
Needz more The Color Purple. Actually, no. That flick sucked farts out of dead rats.
A measly $213K for spending nine months a year pretending to listen to arguments while daydreaming about putting liberals in concentration camps until Scalia tells you how to vote, or sitting around your chambers masturbating to porn and yelling at your clerks to get you a motherfucking iced tea. Who wouldn't envy the care free life of seven figure a year lobbyist or TV news pundit after such a grueling endeavor.
Sorry, but I prefer Pepsi.
Or, he could fuck that white hottie he married; no, wait, she's an old, fat drunk now….
Thus, morose.
Clarence Thomas didn't get ahead on his brains or his hard work. We've seen evidence of that, unless he's changed radically from when he was a young man. He had help during his career, including his appointment to the Supreme Court because he was just about the only conservative African American judge that Bush the Elder could find. He's made a career of burning those bridges, that help, as soon as he crossed them.
Warning: Do NOT follow when Clarence Thomas heads down to the basement to watch his movies!
Well we did lots of more exciting stuff too – like MissT meeting my parents, as I met hers last time I was out in SF.
Misstaken has a thing for gingers.
Yea. From where I sat, the endless search for some higher truth seems to be more human than spending a few hours with a hologram.
No no no, Sorosbot. HopeFULLY pleading. He was in a hopeful state forever. Till they fucked it up with their bullshit.
And so far so good? Have any members of the various families run out of the room screaming and/or crying yet. It's good to get that stuff out of the way early.
Why does everybody always think she was a hologram?
OK, I'll shut up now…
From where EmoJustice sits (morose, awash in self-loathing, both because of his race and that one priest), the endless search for a reason that he is just as smart as the rest of the Court is as good as humanity gets. Therefore, corporations might as well be people, too.
Not yet; in fact my family loved MissT despite her destroying everyone at a game that she'd never played before and the rest of us had. But there still are most of the extended families to meet.
That sounds lovely. If you ever get to Denver, can I be part of your extended family? So what was the game? Scrabble? War? Trivial Pursuits? Jacks? Shoots and Ladders?
Global Thermonuclear War?
Strip poker.
Hee hee hee. Did you cheat?
Hologram, clone, it's all good. I forgot about the hair on the bear.
Since this was originally a Kubrick project, I'll feel safe in veering off to this – how did y'all like the conflict resolution at the end of A Clockwork Orange? ("I was cured all right.")
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