THE TEUTONIC MENACE  11:00 am September 7, 2012

GOP Rep: Student Loans Will Lead To A Holocaust Run By German-Americans, Obviously

by Josh Fruhlinger

I cannot tell a lie: I was the first fascistWay out in the western part of the great state of Maryland is a mountainous land that is mostly rural and white and working class, more Winter’s Bone than The Wire. This corner of the state has been represented approximately forever by Roscoe Bartlett, an 86-year-old Republican who has something of a reputation of being “one of the sane ones” on that side of the aisle. But ol’ Roscoe is in a tough re-election fight this year, so he’s had to maybe pander a little bit, to improve his poll numbers. Like, telling your constituents at a town hall meeting that federally subsidized student loans will basically lead to a new Holocaust, a Holocaust perpetrated by the millions of German-Americans who are just lurking among us, just waiting for their orders from their dead Nazi overlords to rise up and slaughter the Jews — that’s what they want to hear, right? That’ll get votes?

We feel mildly bad for poor old Roscoe, because the mean Democratic-run state government gerrymandered the crap out of his district last year so that it now contains lots of irritating liberal suburbanites in Montgomery County. (In the process, they packed more Republican voters into the district of the awful Andy Harris, ensuring he’ll be around forever, gross.) But still, that’s the the kind of scenario when you want to pivot towards the middle a bit, not tell people that the federally subsidized student loans that huge numbers of Americans hold are the first step on the road to Nazi treachery, as he does in this video!

If you didn’t follow that (and of course you didn’t, because he’s a mumbly old man and the sound in the video is terrible), Bartlett’s logic goes like this, as interpreted by the Washington Post:

  • Student loans are fine, really, there’s nothing wrong with them.
  • But if you look at the Constitution, it doesn’t explicitly say that the Federal government should have any role in education.
  • If the Federal government does something good that isn’t in the Constitution, what’s to keep it from doing something bad that isn’t in the Constitution?
  • Something like … the Holocaust???
  • Speaking of the Holocaust, there sure are a lot of Americans of German descent. Just sayin’.

Bartlett subsequently apologized for invoking the 20th century’s worst horror in response to a low-key question about education policy, and for questioning the loyalty of the German Volk on American soil. He did not, naturally, apologize for saying that a program that for decades has provided access to higher education for non-rich Americans is unconstitutional. [WaPo]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 260 comments }

nounverb911 September 7, 2012 at 11:03 am

Hey Roscoe, the right to being an asshole isn't in the Constitution either, but you are one.

An_Outhouse September 7, 2012 at 11:06 am

I liked the shouty, first version better.

nounverb911 September 7, 2012 at 11:07 am

CAPS LOCK, USER ERROR.

hagajim September 7, 2012 at 11:08 am

What is it with the olds? They seem to get more and more skeered all the time. I guess Lindsey is right, it is the party of angry old white guys.

freakishlywrong September 7, 2012 at 11:12 am

It's not so much as an old thing as it as an old, white thing.

margotchanning September 7, 2012 at 11:30 am

RETIRE OLD MAN!

miss_grundy September 7, 2012 at 1:48 pm

That may very well happen on November 6th and it would be a good thing. My friends live in Montgomery County and I know they'll be voting for the Democrat.

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 11:12 am

Little known fact: a recently unearthed draft copy of the Fifteenth Amendment shows that Senator Stewart scratched out "assholishness" and inserted "creed" instead.

OneDollarJuana September 7, 2012 at 12:17 pm

Apollo Creed is in the Constitution?

SigDeFlyinMonky September 7, 2012 at 12:26 pm

There is no law against making a person look like an idiot if they are willing to cooperate.

Zepster September 7, 2012 at 12:35 pm

I'm from Allegany County Maryland but escaped after college. Thanks to their adherence to the constitution I was saved from intrusive governmental intervention and was not exposed to the evil communist plot that was fluoridated water. I also have spent hundreds of hours in dental chairs ever since. Thank you Roscoe!

An_Outhouse September 7, 2012 at 11:05 am

He's suspicious of German Americans? Is he trolling for a Faux gig by out Malkining Malkin?

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 11:23 am

Michelle Manikin?

eggsacklywright September 7, 2012 at 11:54 am

Beware the Hun.

Ruhe September 7, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Malkin Manque?

american__mutt September 7, 2012 at 12:58 pm

She's not as loud anymore. I miss her.

no_gravity September 7, 2012 at 11:05 am

Bartlett's just playing the Republican parlor game Six Degrees of the Holocaust.

Doktor Zoom September 7, 2012 at 11:52 am

The odds pretty much guarantee that at some point, a politician named "Godwin" will make a Nazi analogy and have no idea why everyone thinks it's funny

OneDollarJuana September 7, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Kyra Sedgwick played a Holocaust survivor in the 1985 film "War and Love". Kevin Bacon is married to Kyra Sedgwick. 2 degrees! Hah!

TribecaMike September 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Kyra Sedgwick is Jewish. One degree!

Dr_Zoidberg September 7, 2012 at 11:06 am

You know what else led to the Holocaust?

eggsacklywright September 7, 2012 at 11:09 am

Two little Hitlers?

Boojum September 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm

They fought it out until one little Hitler did the other one's will.

MadBrahms September 7, 2012 at 11:13 am

The Reichstag Fire? (OK, OK, the answer is Obamacare)

no_gravity September 7, 2012 at 11:15 am

Moses?

UnholyMoses September 7, 2012 at 11:16 am

The Holocaust?

BoatOfVelociraptors September 7, 2012 at 11:17 am

Clothiers with insufficient dye stocks?

ChernobylSoup September 7, 2012 at 11:21 am

Fuel economy standards for new cars and light trucks?

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 11:22 am

The Oscars? Oh wait, no, the Holocaust leads to them.

ChernobylSoup September 7, 2012 at 11:38 am

Nice.

MissTaken September 7, 2012 at 12:01 pm

Golf clap.

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 12:22 pm

Aw, thanks.

Beowoof September 7, 2012 at 11:25 am

Circumcision.

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 11:27 am

Bismark introducing old-age pensions and workman's compensation? Ernst Abbe's Zeiss factories in Jena introducing paid sick leave, paid vacations and the 8-hour workday? The Dada movement and the degenerate art of George Grosz? …

Really, there are too many possibilities to choose from… Can you give a hint?

C_R_Eature September 7, 2012 at 11:40 am

What is "An Austrian Paperhanger, " Alex?

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 11:59 am

Rats, then I was way off. I was about to guess "The Oberammergau Passion Play".

C_R_Eature September 7, 2012 at 12:12 pm

Guido von List just had himself a little chuckle.

Veritas78 September 7, 2012 at 6:09 pm

One-armed, or two? Cuz the former are generally way too busy to start a holocaust.

Steverino247 September 7, 2012 at 11:28 am

Masturbation? No, wait. That's hairy palms. I'm stumped.

C_R_Eature September 7, 2012 at 11:30 am

Putsching and Tschoving in the Beer Hall?

Fare la Volpe September 7, 2012 at 11:32 am

Uppity Jews and a homosexual or two?

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 11:34 am

Misinterpreting Nietzsche?

widestanceromance September 7, 2012 at 11:34 am

All of us, Zoidy.

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 11:40 am

Too many Jews for Adolf's liking?

Weenus299 September 7, 2012 at 11:40 am

The Road to Damascus?

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 11:46 am

Tabarnak that's excellent. Post of the month, IMO.

[You wouldn't be from Tarsus, would you? ]

Weenus299 September 7, 2012 at 2:28 pm

I keep falling off that damn horse.

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 2:34 pm

At least the horse is tax-deductible. [But then I'm sure I don't have to tell you anything about the tax code.]—

MosesInvests September 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

1500 years of priests and preachers teaching hatred of Jews?

Dr_Zoidberg September 7, 2012 at 11:53 am

I was going with 'Bronies'.

finallyhappy September 7, 2012 at 12:51 pm

I just learned what they were – from a 13 year old girl.

Doktor Zoom September 7, 2012 at 11:54 am

Wagner's music being much better than it sounds?

James Michael Curley September 7, 2012 at 12:08 pm

Wagner is better to be heard and not seen.

randomsausage September 7, 2012 at 11:57 am

the great German bagel shortage of 1932?

jodyleek September 7, 2012 at 12:12 pm

M. Luther's "On the Jews and Their Lies"?

OneDollarJuana September 7, 2012 at 12:23 pm

I do know what could have prevented the Holocaust: tax cuts.

Dr_Zoidberg September 7, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Yes, but only for billionaires.

ph7 September 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm

A twinkle in Alois Hitler's eye?

RadioX September 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm

The Enola Gay?

Dudleydidwrong September 7, 2012 at 12:53 pm

She was?

doloras September 7, 2012 at 4:45 pm

She should have stayed at home yesterday.

gullywompr September 7, 2012 at 1:10 pm

Sure. The assasination of Austrian Archduke Ferdinand by Serbian paramilitary terrorists sparked a series of events that started World War I, which Germany lost, whereupon the Armistice was implemented, stipulating the effective dissolution of German military might. A post-war global economic deprssion followed, giving rise to extremists, one of which was Adolph Hitler who used a blame of Armistice agreement as a means to forment nationalism, and also used antisemitism as a scapegoat for economic issues. These conditions allowed the covert implementation of a systematic genocide program, resulting in the deaths of as many as 17 million persons.

Hope this helps…

Dr_Zoidberg September 7, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Oh my god, it did! Thank you soooo much!

gullywompr September 7, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Wonkette may be the only blog in the world where the actual, factual, correct answer is, in itself, snark.

HistoriCat September 7, 2012 at 1:45 pm

Is this going to be on the final?

Boojum September 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Sounds a lot like Obamacare.

Veritas78 September 7, 2012 at 6:10 pm

Wow. It all makes sense now…

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 1:25 pm

My subsidized student loan?

Dr_Zoidberg September 7, 2012 at 1:33 pm

Yes, you bastard.

ph7 September 7, 2012 at 4:00 pm

If I had a time machine, I would go back and cancel his loan, and save the world.

TribecaMike September 7, 2012 at 2:39 pm

A vegetarian diet?

LibertyLover September 7, 2012 at 11:06 am

Invoking Godwin's law? How droll.

MistaEko September 7, 2012 at 11:52 am

Godwin's law presumes a lengthy point-counterpoint debate has occurred/will occur. The party has hit the "creeping fascism" point so many times they've started jumping right to it.

We need a Heisenberg corrollary: You cannot determine when Hitler is going to be invoked without first knowing how long the batshits have been out of office.

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 12:14 pm

Handled:

Case's Corollary to the Law states "if the subject is Heinlein or homosexuality, the probability of a Hitler/Nazi comparison being made becomes equal to one" – but that's just an old list. Abortion and gun control debates always lead to Nazi comparisons; talk with a Libertarian for more than a few hours and he'll almost certainly bring up Nazis; book-burning is pretty much considered a sub-topic of Nazism at this point. Hell, talk about anything politically related and
you'll eventually get there.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Seems more gauche to me, somehow.

hagajim September 7, 2012 at 11:06 am

Roscoe ought to go back to being Sheriff. Those Duke boys have been running amok again.

DocChaos September 7, 2012 at 11:06 am

A holocaust of eduction – the final solution to the ignorance problem.

eggsacklywright September 7, 2012 at 11:11 am

Ignorance is good. Ignorance = more Repub votes.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Rich/stupid/stupid/rich etc etc.

sewollef September 7, 2012 at 1:05 pm

Hmm…. must remember to listen to some New Order and A Certain Ratio on my commute home tonight, while I read the latest issue of Der Stürmer on my iPad.

Joshua Norton September 7, 2012 at 11:07 am

Needz moar 9/11 references.

nounverb911 September 7, 2012 at 11:09 am

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy……..

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 11:08 am

Student loans, therefore, lead to learning, and say, you know who else liked learning?

no_gravity September 7, 2012 at 11:12 am

William F. Buckley?

RRoccoco September 7, 2012 at 11:37 am

I know! I know! Trick question–you expect people to say Shicklegruber, but in fact the answer: SATAN!

He got Eve to eat from the Tree of Knowledge Of Birth Control Socialism! All downhill from there, except for St. Reagan's reign of Light Fingered Looting of the Economy. Good times back then.

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 11:39 am

Alexander Pope?

C_R_Eature September 7, 2012 at 11:46 am

A little, but it can be a dangerous thing.

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 11:51 am

Very true. That's why our Wonkette motto is "Drink deep! …. it largely sobers us again".

(At least, I think it's the Pierian spring the motto refers to.)

C_R_Eature September 7, 2012 at 11:54 am

Eh, it works either way.

EDIT: "There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain, and drinking deeply largely sobers de-Pantses us again."

I speak from experience.

Doktor Zoom September 7, 2012 at 11:56 am

I thought it was "Some drink deeply at the Fountain of Knowledge. I prefer to gargle."

(Polar bear poster in 10th grade math class, ca. 1978)

Goonemeritus September 7, 2012 at 11:08 am

Well until I paid mine off a few years back I did keep looking at maps of Poland for plausible invasion routes.

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 11:16 am

I had to annex the Sudetenland to pay mine off

hagajim September 7, 2012 at 11:17 am

I figure I'll keep postponing paying mine – until I die.

no_gravity September 7, 2012 at 11:21 am

Ha! The real money was with the anschluss.

eggsacklywright September 7, 2012 at 12:00 pm

"Major Marvy sucks dick!"

Slothrop was right.

Texan_Bulldog September 7, 2012 at 11:09 am

Someone needs to tell Roscoe he's doing the pander bear thing all wrong! Dude's 86. He should be perched on his LazyBoy, watching the Price is Right & poking the dog with his cane.

Fare la Volpe September 7, 2012 at 11:30 am

poking the dog with his cane

This is the worst game of Spot the Euphemism ever.

Texan_Bulldog September 7, 2012 at 11:53 am

Ha ha…this describes my (now deceased) grandfather to a T. Except he used to also clack his dentures together–a creepy sound I will carry with me to my grave. When he would sit in his recliner, he would jab the dog with his cane because I guess old people are kind of dicks to animals (except even he wouldn't have strapped one to the roof of his car).

Fare la Volpe September 7, 2012 at 11:55 am

old people are kind of dicks to animals
kind of dicks to animals
dicks to animals

YOU'RE NOT MAKING THIS BETTER.

Doktor Zoom September 9, 2012 at 2:00 pm

The moon laughs knowingly.
the moon laughs!
the moon…

the.

kittensdontlie September 7, 2012 at 11:09 am

I am planning a Republican Holocaust this November, with VOTES.

freakishlywrong September 7, 2012 at 11:10 am

Anything they find un-konstitushional will now cause a holocaust. This should be a fun coupla months. Fer fuck's sake.

Terry September 7, 2012 at 11:41 am

Just wait until Barry is reelected. The wingnuts will drop all pretense of being sane.

freakishlywrong September 7, 2012 at 12:04 pm

Oh Terry, they already have..

miss_grundy September 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm

But wouldn't it be nice if they all had brain aneurysms? We could get rid of a whole bunch of them at once…….

eggsacklywright September 7, 2012 at 11:10 am

I occasionally have an original thought.

weejee September 7, 2012 at 11:10 am

Roscoe Bartlett's Bund(t) takes the cake.

Self-Uploader September 7, 2012 at 11:11 am

Grandpa needs his aricept.

BadKitty904 September 7, 2012 at 1:31 pm

Truly. Time for a lil' Triumph of the Pill…

OneYieldRegular September 7, 2012 at 2:40 pm

If there's a slippery slope, it's between the few neurons still firing.

LibrarianX September 7, 2012 at 11:12 am

Roscoe got it backwards. If he asked his friends, they would tell him that Hollywood and the money are controlled by teh Jooooz.

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 11:13 am

The Boreman Brotherhood.

LibertyLover September 7, 2012 at 11:13 am

If the Federal government does something good that isn’t in the Constitution, what’s to keep it from doing something bad that isn’t in the Constitution?

Oh, you mean like maybe the Dred Scott decision or Plessy vs. Ferguson?

hagajim September 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

Or maybe Citizens United.

Generation[redacted] September 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

Now that you mention it, I don't recall any mention in the Constitution of invading another country based on trumped up intelligence of possible WMDs.

ravi_shankar September 7, 2012 at 11:15 am

WaPo gets twice as much revenue from its for-profit college scam as from its newspaper.

Madison wrote that it was okay dokey in Federalist Paper #$$$.

Hera Sent Me September 7, 2012 at 11:15 am

If a teabagger reads the Constitution in the woods and doesn't understand it, does he still get Medicare?

LibertyLover September 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

Only if he doesn't get treaded on — or cuts a snake into parts.

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

Only after he wipes.

hagajim September 7, 2012 at 11:19 am

Unfortunately yes. A Hoverround is a Constitutional Right, and keep your dirty gubmint hands off my Medicare.

sewollef September 7, 2012 at 1:13 pm

Coming to you from the Department of Redundancy Department…

or….

if I was back in England it'd be the Ministry of Redundancy Ministry.

Tomayto, Tomahto, let's call the whole thing off.

FraAnima September 7, 2012 at 11:16 am

"Hey you kids, get off my loan!"

ChernobylSoup September 7, 2012 at 11:16 am

…mostly rural and white and working class.

When I see these words I know something bad is about to happen.

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 11:25 am

Squeeeeellll like a pig!

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 11:54 am

Alcohol may play a role.

e_z September 8, 2012 at 7:36 am

Hagerstown Maryland, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy as Obie Wan would say.It was a strong Roscoe hive of support. When I worked in that area it was 25 years behind reality. Now it is about 45 years behind.

ChernobylSoup September 8, 2012 at 9:15 am

I live in rural Arkansas; it's much the same. I'm a big proponent of getting broadband to these areas in the hope of bringing them into the late 20th century (we'll work on advancing to the 21st century later). High speed Internet isn't the only answer but it's a start. Problem is the telecoms don't see any ROI in rural areas.

TootsStansbury September 7, 2012 at 11:16 am

Is this where I'm supposed to answer the question with anyone but Hitler?

T3rbo September 7, 2012 at 11:53 am

Hitler is unavailable for comment, you are on your own

elviouslyqueer September 7, 2012 at 11:17 am

Man. Wilfred Brimley looks like shit these days.

Fare la Volpe September 7, 2012 at 11:58 am

It's the diabeetus, duh.

Jus_Wonderin September 7, 2012 at 12:09 pm

"It's the right thing to do and the tasty way to do it."

ManchuCandidate September 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

OMG! It's Mein Kampus!

soeoho September 7, 2012 at 11:20 am

Das Goot!

eggsacklywright September 7, 2012 at 11:22 am

Personally, I prefer the vinyl solution.

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 11:39 am

Luddite! MP3 is the way to go.

eggsacklywright September 7, 2012 at 12:06 pm

I admit there are times I'd like to smash the machine. What is a Manual Player 3?

mrblifil September 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

George Washington was a traitor. We need to proclaim fealty to thee Kinge Of Englande once more!

Boojum September 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Peggy?

iamrrm September 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

Let Bartlett be Bartlett?

soeoho September 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

Yessirree! I'm a muvin' tu marryland! No Jackbooted edgukators gonna snob-poysun usins and the yugnuns. Hellfire…I got writes!

IncenseDebate September 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

For a country with so many Germans we sure have an awful intercity passenger train system.

Steverino247 September 7, 2012 at 11:30 am

Yeah, they don't run on time or anything…

pdiddycornchips September 7, 2012 at 11:18 am

The Constitution doesn't explicitly mention vagina's or blah's or midget wrestling so all of those things are totally UNCONSTITUTIONAL!!!

MadBrahms September 7, 2012 at 11:19 am

The Boys from Brazil Area Technical College

UnholyMoses September 7, 2012 at 11:19 am

If having a student loan makes one a Nazi, The Mrs and I will be members in good standing for, oh, about the next 25 years or so.

First order of business: Replace the swastika with a dollar sign.

PinkoPopulist September 7, 2012 at 11:24 am

If having student loans makes one a Nazi then I must be Joseph Goebbels.

Generation[redacted] September 7, 2012 at 11:42 am

I'm just standing by watching the trains deliver the graduates' monthly repayment checks to government processing facilities as if I know nothing about it.

IncenseDebate September 7, 2012 at 11:20 am

Ein volk ein reich ein weiner head.

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 11:20 am

There is someone in the world who is actually named Roscoe? I thought that ridiculous-sounding, obviously fake name was just made up for Dukes of Hazzard.

HistoriCat September 7, 2012 at 11:56 am

Things were very different back in the Roaring Twenties. It was the time of Jazz and Prohibition. Bartlett's parents obviously drank too much bathtub gin mixed with wood alcohol.

Fare la Volpe September 7, 2012 at 11:57 am

There are men in this world named Lindsay.

Anything's possible.

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 12:03 pm

The South seems to love giving men women's names (see also Hailey Barber).

PinkoPopulist September 7, 2012 at 11:21 am

Yet another reason why we need to stop letting immigrants into this country! They'll perpetrate the 2nd holocaust, most likely during our 3rd World War with Iran.

GeorgiaBurning September 7, 2012 at 11:23 am

Romney's worried about the Soviets, Roscoe is worried about the Bund. Either the Repubs are really working on that centenarian demographic or the ghost of Hearst is a consultant.

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 11:24 am

And sigh; once again, an actual elected politician fails on knowledge of the Constitution. What part of "The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States" do you not understand?

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 11:34 am

Maybe the part that says "We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America." should have occurred earlier in the document. Wingnuts find it difficult to read very far into the Constitution, apparently.

bobbert September 7, 2012 at 6:30 pm

They only read it for the Articles.

Fare la Volpe September 7, 2012 at 11:53 am

I think you stumped them at that whole "actually reading the damn thing" thing.

MosesInvests September 7, 2012 at 12:23 pm

Has to be said-AOT,K.

sewollef September 7, 2012 at 1:20 pm

Dang, the constitution is NOT meant to be read, it's meant to be fapped to.

EatsBabyDingos September 7, 2012 at 11:25 am

He's just bummed Honey Boo Boo's family can't vote for him.

LibertyLover September 7, 2012 at 11:26 am

Indoor plumbing isn't mentioned in that Constitution thingy either, but I am dang sure I can just go down the hall to pee instead of peeing in the backyard.

thurufally September 7, 2012 at 11:28 am

I always get a kick out of Alzheimer's patients discussing constitutional issues.

LibertyLover September 7, 2012 at 11:28 am

I ate a pear named Bartlett once.

IncenseDebate September 7, 2012 at 11:29 am

First they came and educated the kids who couldn't afford it, and I didn't speak up because I needed the money to go to college, then they killed all the Jews.

Beowoof September 7, 2012 at 11:29 am

I really do believe Skeeter Pac needs a donation in this guys name. http://soundcloud.com/mike-in-raleigh/skeeterpac

Blunderthing September 7, 2012 at 11:31 am

Mean Mr. Mustard. Always shouts out something obscene. What a dirty old man. But you should see Polythene Pam. You should see her in drag. Dressed in a polythene bag.

randcoolcatdaddy September 7, 2012 at 11:31 am

It's a slippery slope from incoherent babbling about Nazis to a diagnosis of dementia.

Steverino247 September 7, 2012 at 11:32 am

So FEMA is some kind of German acronym?

sewollef September 7, 2012 at 1:35 pm

Why yes it is.

Katastrophenschutzbehörde is a German word, that translates into English as F-E-M-A.

But be careful, if provoked, they'll send the Sonderabteilung der Vereinigte Staaten after your ass.

You don't want that.

Steverino247 September 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm

If they wear blue helmets, can I greet them as liberators?

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 11:32 am

Funny how the right wing nutz had no objection to the student loan program when it consisted of Federal loan guarantees. The private lenders took the profits and the taxpayers got the losses.

Mr. Obama didn't think the lenders needed subsidies. So now the Federal government is a direct lender – collecting over 3% when 10-year Treasuries are just over 1%. And the right wing fringe doesn't like it.

Meanwhile private lenders are back in the market without those Federal government loan guarantees are in some cases offering lower fixed rates than the Feds! Mr. Obama's plan worked.

C_R_Eature September 7, 2012 at 11:35 am

The fact that Roscoe Bartlett will no doubt go down in flames does little to mitigate the fact that my execrable know-nothing Club For Growth tool congressman Andy Harris will be around for at least one more election cycle. All I can really hope for is that by some miracle he's kicked off the chair position of the Energy & Environment committee, where his sole qualification seems to be that he's the Congressman from the Club for Growth.

I'd really like to kick the entire MD redistricting committee straight in the Nutz. And not with votes, either.

JohnnyQuick September 7, 2012 at 12:02 pm

I have the same problem. Too bad we didn't get to keep Wayne Gilchrist, eh? Now there was a RINO who truly was too good for the Republican party: voted against invading Iraq, etc.

C_R_Eature September 7, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Ah, a Fellow Sufferer! Ah, I really miss Wayne, he's the very last republican I crossed over to vote for. A Nam vet and as strong on Bay and other environmental issues as you could find. Pro choice, too – I think. Definitely way out of step with today's Troglopublicans.

fuflans September 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm

you should let loose some cephalopods.

DahBoner September 7, 2012 at 11:36 am

All the dinosaurs died and then the Arabs bought Mercedes. The End.

Fare la Volpe September 7, 2012 at 11:37 am

I really hate America today. And life in general for that matter. Now if I just had money for sex and drugs, I could relieve both these problems.

I wonder how many brownies we still have in the freezer…

actor212 September 7, 2012 at 11:44 am

Sweaty fit young men in spandex ought to help, at least for another hour or so

eggsacklywright September 7, 2012 at 12:10 pm

Don't forget the booze, it's good for a couple of hours of thinking maybe things aren't so bad.

Crank_Tango September 7, 2012 at 12:41 pm

I just realized that I have all my work done until I get more (next week), have some netflix and nothing to do.
Who's down to rip some bong hits and watch Enter the Dragon?

Jimmyone September 7, 2012 at 1:03 pm

Whoa…Memememememe…best offer I've had all week. I do have to clean out my irrigation ditch yet…ah fuck it…pass the bong and turn up the sound…

Monsieur_Grumpe September 7, 2012 at 11:37 am

I am really getting tired of these strict interpretation of the constitution buttheads. Cars weren’t in the constitutions were they? How about AK-47s? Cigarettes? Toilets? Huh? WHAT ABOUT THE UNCONSTITUTIONAL TOILETS!!!!!!!

Terry September 7, 2012 at 11:38 am

"This corner of the state has been represented approximately forever by Roscoe Bartlett, an 86-year-old Republican who has something of a reputation of being “one of the sane ones” on that side of the aisle."

This is a frightening statement, as old Roscoe is batshit crazy. He spends an inordinate amount of this time urging his constituents to plan for the coming apocalypse. I wish I was kidding about that.

C_R_Eature September 7, 2012 at 11:52 am

"One of the Sane Ones"? Roscoe Bartlett? Just whoinhell was crazy enough to say that? I know, low bar and everything, but..

Weenus299 September 7, 2012 at 11:39 am

I hate Maryland nazis.

rickmaci September 7, 2012 at 11:39 am

Roscoe Bartlett? I though he was the county sheriff in the Dukes of Hazzard?

Wilcoxyz September 7, 2012 at 11:39 am

To be fair, the holocaust isn't in the constitution either, so that shouldn't be happening by his logic.

Toomush_Infer September 7, 2012 at 11:45 am

Geez, for us old geezers – when the actual (literal!) Holocaust was happening, there was still a Constitution and more Germans living in the U.S. than any other ethnic group…people were going around painting German barns yellow and yelling anti-German epithets, while those American Germans were putting on U.S. uniforms and going to war against Hitler….huh!,,,,

MacRaith September 7, 2012 at 11:46 am

But wait, the Allies in Europe who defeatd the Nazis were led by a German-American general. So no matter which side you're on, German-Americans are clearly trouble.

MosesInvests September 7, 2012 at 11:52 am

Yeah, and the Pacific Theater was led by Admiral Nimitz! Can't trust those f*cking Huns!

veence69 September 7, 2012 at 11:50 am

It doesn't say anywhere in the Constitution that I SHOULDN'T jam a steak knife in my eye and run out in front of a bus. It doesn't tell me to wipe my ass after shitting. It fails to mention whether or not I should put food in my mouth if I feel hungry. HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE DECISIONS IF THE CONSTITUTION DOESN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO?

proudgrampa September 7, 2012 at 11:53 am

What? No, really. What is this shit all about?? proudgrampa has a confused…

Jus_Wonderin September 7, 2012 at 12:01 pm

For some reason, maybe education or germans, I am reminded of a poster Mrs. Stutsman had tacked to the corkboard near the pencil sharpener. It was a full color rememberance of all those who died in the Holocaust showing the multitudes of bodies stacked like cord wood. This made a BIG impression on a then 3rd grader. I loved that lady.

sewollef September 7, 2012 at 12:03 pm

What a stupid old twat, he should retire and let a younger and more zealot-ist type teabagger take over the reins.

Until that is, we can round them all up into our secret FEMA camps for reeducation.

Thunderclees September 7, 2012 at 12:08 pm

1. Maryland was the only Catholic colony back in the day.

2. Catholic bishop Alois Hudal smuggled Nazis through rat lines to South America.

3. Therefore, Holocaust.

OneDollarJuana September 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

Maryland = Catholic colony
Catholic priests = Child molesters
Marylanders = Child molesters

Simple logic

James Michael Curley September 7, 2012 at 12:11 pm

Hey pops, you don't sit down and your grandson Josiah Edward is going to put you in a home.

marconidarwin September 7, 2012 at 12:14 pm

"It isn't in the Constitution" needs to be exposed for the Ann Coulter that it is. Air force, congressional districts, electoral college, freedom of expression, right to travel, immigration, right to vote (oh, wait…) etc. are NOT in the Constitution either.

Neither is "unless it is specifically mentioned by exact phrasing, it is unconstitutional"

mavenmaven September 7, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Student Loans? Oh, I thought you said Lebensraum.

SayItWithWookies September 7, 2012 at 12:25 pm

Hmmm — has Mr. Bartlett also noticed that Congressional pensions aren't in the Constitution?

thefrontpage September 7, 2012 at 12:27 pm

Josh: Excuse the non-humor, but you're wrong on one point about Bartlett. I'm involved with Maryland politics, and am from Western Maryland, and I talk to people in Western Maryland, the D.C. suburbs and Annapolis every day of the week. I can tell you honestly and factually that Bartlett has NEVER been considered "one of the sane ones," in any party, from any perspective, from anyone in any party, and from anyone from Western Maryland to the Eastern Shore. He is generally considered, and has been considered, for decades–not months or years, but decades–generally as a moron, as a terrible politician, as eccentric in the bad way, as erratic, as someone who just plain does not understand government and politics, as a shady and questionable and untruthful politician and businessman, and generally as a slightly nutball, nutty, crazy and inneffective politician and businessman. THAT is the zeitgeist on Bartlett–and, again, that comes from people in all parties, from Western Maryland to the Eastern Shore. Bartlett should never have been elected to office–and he is a terrible politician.

jfruh September 7, 2012 at 1:02 pm

I am afraid that maybe I was thinking of Wayne Gilchrest, the guy who Andy Harris primaried in '08? I knew that one of the long-time MD Rs was considered a non-nut.

HistoriCat September 7, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Gilchrist was a RINO. Bartlett is your typical Appalachian crazy.

a_pink_poodle September 7, 2012 at 12:33 pm

He's right there's an awful lot of people who fit the bill of Aryan…

Generation[redacted] September 7, 2012 at 12:35 pm

What if you cold go back in time and kill Hitler, thereby erasing all your student loas?

BarackMyWorld September 7, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Do they think "promote the general welfare" means promoting a General named "Welfare" to some higher rank?

Tundra Grifter September 7, 2012 at 12:52 pm

"There are more people of German ancestory in the United States today than from any other country – including English."

Well, my wife would be one of those. I guess that means our kids are a couple more.

But I have a hard time believing there are more people of Germany ancestory than, say, Mexican.

And I have an even harder time figuring out why in the Hell it makes any difference at all.

shelwood46 September 7, 2012 at 2:00 pm

We are in charge of organizing the coming American Holocaust. Did you not get the evite?

MissTaken September 7, 2012 at 12:52 pm

Nowhere in the Constitution does it say I need to help little old ladies cross the road. So fuck those little old ladies, or as they should be called, Little Hitlers.

finallyhappy September 7, 2012 at 12:53 pm

Did anyone mention Roscoe's repeating(but in his own words) the rape doesn't cause many pregnancies crap last week? And no, I do not live in that part of Maryland- I never even drive near there.

iburl September 7, 2012 at 12:55 pm

If we HAVE to hate an ethnic group, there are worse….

haha just jesting meinen freuden.

Chet Kincaid_ September 7, 2012 at 12:56 pm

OT: Carville and Matlin are having some kind of "comfort debate" in banners all over the Wonkette. I really don't need to hear those two lizards arguing about their sex life. The product is Astroglide, right?

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

I'm still just getting the ads for the amazing product that will make your kids' room all neat. But I don't have or want kids!

Chichikovovich September 7, 2012 at 6:07 pm

Are you absolutely sure? No possibility of changing your mind?

[Looks around]

OK, I'll let you in on a secret. That ad is a cruel mockery of the bitter truth: There is no product of any kind that will make kids' rooms neat for more than a microsecond.

Jerri September 7, 2012 at 1:29 pm

It kind of looks like over the years they have been slowly melding into one person. It's starting to look like they share a face.

le petit mort September 7, 2012 at 1:03 pm

"Mein Fuhrer…I can talk!"

fartknocker September 7, 2012 at 1:11 pm

OT: Clint Eastwood was interviewed by his local newspaper and he's proud of his RNC speech, Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan.
http://www.pineconearchive.com/120907-1.html

Toomush_Infer September 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Eastwood needs a doctor to check him for small strokes – regardless of his own belief in his performance, something is going wrong in him – it's not just "lefties" who should criticize that dumbshow….

DemmeFatale September 7, 2012 at 2:35 pm

I'm still hoping he'll just say: 'PSYCHE!!!"
Ol' Clint is crazy like a fox, cause he sure screwed the GOP.

TribecaMike September 7, 2012 at 5:56 pm

He's also proud of Pink Cadillac. Yeesh, what a stinker that was.

PuckStopsHere September 7, 2012 at 1:11 pm

It is difficult not to be proud to be an American when one realizes that not only is this a fellow citizen, but an elected and sitting member of the House of Representatives. If this grand experiment, this democracy, fails, the explanation will be all too simple: We the people were too stupid to self-govern.

Amanwithnoplan September 7, 2012 at 1:18 pm

I think what he was trying to say is that without the Constitution we're no different from Germany in the 1930's. OK…I guess–let's forget constitutional monarchies like England that kinda sorta resisted the Nazis without the Holy Parchment.

Unfortunately he seems to be using the discredited (except for Nazis and Newt) idea that genetic history is more important than social conditions. "Thus if you have Germanic stock and no Constitution…Achtung, baby: Hitler!"

HistoriCat September 7, 2012 at 2:03 pm

It's true – I have this strong urge to go to my Polish neighbors' house, kick down the front door, and toss them out.

anniegetyerfun September 7, 2012 at 1:20 pm

We should probably kill all the white people, just to be on the safe side. You never know which one of them has SEKRIT GERMAN BLOOD and might rise up like some kind of sleeper cell.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 1:29 pm

I know my names sounds all Germany, but I'm Austrian, I swear to god! And Austrians are too lazy and drunk all the time to holocaust anything except a plate of sausages.

sullivanst September 7, 2012 at 1:32 pm

You know who else was Austrian…

savethispatient September 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

A likely story, GroßenSchädelGeschlechtsverkehrHund, if that is your real name.

Toomush_Infer September 7, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Ich bin un Swede, jawohl!!!!….

cromiller September 7, 2012 at 1:20 pm

The German side of me is naturally just waiting to get orders from ol' Roscoe (and Boss Hogg, that swine!) to get all Holocausty. Fortunately, the Irish side of me keeps me drunk and incapacitated.

SorosBot September 7, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Did the Wonkette staff have a delayed hangover from Barack's speech? It's been quiet here for two and a half hours now.

BigSkullF*ckingDog September 7, 2012 at 1:30 pm

Morning sickness from all the impregnation.

Kid_Charlemagne September 7, 2012 at 1:28 pm

PELL GRANTS UBER ALLES!!

Antispandex September 7, 2012 at 1:33 pm

In his defense there are LOTS of things that the Government does that aren't in the Constitution. Now, you may not believe this, but I looked it up, NOTHING about interstate highways. Really! I looked it up! Just think how much easier it will be for the Feds to round up the Jews with all of these roads! And I know you won't believe me, but that is just the tip of the Holocaust iceberg when it comes to things that are NOT in the Constitution. Look it up for yourselves.

deelzebub September 7, 2012 at 1:36 pm

Zombie Nazi overlords…Holy shit. Forget Jeb Bush in 2016; we're facing a Prescott bush revival.

HistoriCat September 7, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Is it a coincidence that Joseph Kennedy just won a primary?

TribecaMike September 7, 2012 at 2:20 pm

Good catch

littlebigdaddy September 7, 2012 at 1:43 pm

Scheisskopf!

littlebigdaddy September 7, 2012 at 1:46 pm

I saw Brian Schweitzer give a speech once…a lot less cornpone than at the convention. He spoke movingly of the discrimination and violence against German-Americans, few of whom supported the Nazis. Rather, it was the Anglo types like Lindbergh who did.

TribecaMike September 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Speaking of Maryland, what's up with Johns Hopkins? Shouldn't it be John's Hopkins, or was Hopkins slang for penis in the 19th century and they wanted to avoid any suggestion of crudity? John's Penis Hospital, John's Penis University, John's Penis School of Nursing — the mind (Freudian slang for penis) boggles.

Boojum September 7, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Global warming causes student loans, which are fake, just like Obama's college certificate. Look it up. I read it somewhere.

Toomush_Infer September 7, 2012 at 2:11 pm

No, it's that pissant jobs report – Rmoney's overjoyed….

TribecaMike September 7, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Stick a mezuzah in him, he's done.

HolyCow!! September 7, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Having dealt with student loans, I have no problem believing that the people who administrate them are Nazis.

Katydid September 7, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Seriously, for a second, sorry, how do these fuckwads justify legislation concerning telecommunications, and anything else they didn't have in 1787? Or anything specifically not mentioned in the Constitution, such as abortion? I. Does. Not. Get. It.

philpjfry September 7, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Sudent loan administrators are nazi cocksuckers. My best friends son had student loans, a great carreer, beautiful wife and son with another on the way. He was the american dream, Then he was killed in a tragic accident. No drugs or alcohol involved, nothing stupid just a one in a million accident. dead at 26. So of course the Student loan nazi's wrote to my friend and told him, while they were sorry about hus sons death, my friend is still on the hook for the loans. Now they have to write a check for their dead sons loan every month, just as a reminder in case they ever forget what it is like to loose a son. Fuck these people!!!

IndianaKevin September 7, 2012 at 5:21 pm

I've got some German in me and this report makes me want to find a rail car and some Jews!

TribecaMike September 7, 2012 at 6:12 pm

If this role doesn't get Bill Nighy an Oscar, nothing will.

CleverSobriquet September 7, 2012 at 7:14 pm

I was a little ashamed the the great state of Maryland tried to gerrymander ol' Roscoe out of his seat but I could be persuaded otherwise

unclejeems September 7, 2012 at 7:43 pm

Gimme my money or Prague is mine, sucka!

SaintRond September 7, 2012 at 9:06 pm

Oh, come on. You tell me that every time you have dealings with your government, separate your trash, paint your address on the curb or have to obey those pesky traffic laws, that you don't want to go out and kill all the Jews.

You people are so excitable. Jeez.

Goobernicus September 7, 2012 at 9:54 pm

Thankfully, redistricting put me out of his district, He's a Teabagger and a survivalist.

ttommyunger September 7, 2012 at 11:19 pm

What next, Clint Eastwood interviewing this old fuck's walker?

aaabbbey September 8, 2012 at 1:33 am

Uuurgh. He was a lot saner when he nominated me to a service academy eons ago. His staff was also very polite when I called before the DADT vote.

Retirement would be a relief for this guy?

crybabyboehner September 8, 2012 at 7:49 am

Like the man said, he's one of the sane ones.

Troubledog September 8, 2012 at 11:01 am

Speaking of student loans, I feel like the positive benefits of the Holocaust don't get enough attention.

For example, if there hadn't been the Holocaust, and the guilt-driven political aftermath thereof, there wouldn't be Israel. So there'd be six million more Jews in the 40s, and the lost opportunity costs of whatever increases would have been achieved through their progeny, but none of them would have a place to live.

Bestrides September 9, 2012 at 3:49 am

I always thought the whole student-loans-lead-to-killing-many-jews things was common knowledge. It explains why so many noble souls in our country have avoided the moral chasm of education and found their ethical purpose in carrying horribly misspelled signs with images of President Obama dressed as a witch doctor on them through town squares, screaming things like "Keep the Government's Hands of MY Medicare!!!"

C_R_Eature September 7, 2012 at 12:04 pm

That sounds like something Groucho would say. My personal hero.

Doktor Zoom September 7, 2012 at 11:54 pm

Marxist-Lennonist thought, eh?

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