PAPER OR PLASTIC?  3:00 pm August 13, 2012

‘Religious Freedom!’ Cries Crazy Texas Bigot What Don’t Want No ‘Negroidal Person’ Bagging His Vittles

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

it's a religion too, you knowHey, crazy Texas bigots! Got any freedom of religion lawsuits you’d like to file today? Oh, it’s against your religion to have a black man bag your groceries? Sure, that will do!

Little Green Footballs brings us the heartwarming News Journal tale of this Texas man a-whoopin’ and a-hollerin’ about how he don’t want no “negroidal person” touching his food, while bagging it at the grocery store. The store owner — who has just earned himself an Opposite Day Chick-fil-A love-in — told the crazy bigot he couldn’t shop at that grocer’s no more. And now the crazy bigot has filed suit, because they oppressed his religious freedom to not have black people bag his food.

Brothers and sisters, let us now have some block quote.

A Hawkins man is claiming his civil rights and religious freedom were violated earlier this year when a black man sacked his groceries and a Big Sandy grocery store owner banned the customer from the business.

DeWitt R. Thomas filed a federal lawsuit in July against Keith Langston, owner of Two Rivers Grocery & Market.

According to the lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Tyler, Thomas entered the market on March 5 to buy food.

He stated in a nine-page, hand-written lawsuit that he told the grocery sacker, a black man, “Wait a minute, don’t touch my groceries. I can’t have someone negroidal touch my food. It’s against my creed.”

Thomas claimed the cashier was “perplexed” by his request and yelled at him to take his items and leave.

In a telephone interview Wednesday, Thomas said, “It’s pretty simple. They treated me really bad because I told them it was against my creed.”

According to the lawsuit, Thomas went on to explain he meant a black person when he used the term “negroidal.”

The sacker, Aaron Menefee, said he thought Thomas was just kidding around.

“The first time he said it, I thought he was joking,” Menefee said. “Then he just kept repeating it.”

Menefee said once he realized Thomas was serious, he called for someone else to sack the groceries, at which time Menefee went to another part of the store.

“I didn’t feel physically threatened,” Menefee said. “I just felt verbally assaulted.”

Langston wasn’t in the store at the time, but his employees told him about the incident.

“I decided when I heard about what happened that I was going to file a criminal trespass against him,” Langston said. “I just had to wait for him to be present so he could sign it.”

There’s ever so much more at the link, but is this reminding anyone else of Kathryn-Jean Lopez’s jihad against the Obama administration’s mandate that health insurance come complete with women’s preventative care (including slut pills)? Like, you can’t just say something is against your religion and then force everyone else to go along? No? Just us? Never mind.

[NewsJournal, via LGF]

 

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{ 198 comments }

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 3:04 pm

“I didn’t feel physically threatened,” Menefee said. “I just felt verbally assaulted.”

So- he just pissed his pants instead of shitting his britches?

IceCreamEmpress August 13, 2012 at 3:18 pm

Menefee is the grocery bagger who was called "Negroidal", not the walking argument for eugenics who thought that was a word.

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm

oops.

Nostrildamus August 13, 2012 at 5:27 pm

I'll bet Dewitt Thomas is also a bagger.

Swampgas_Man August 13, 2012 at 7:29 pm

More likely a double-bagger.

WhatTheHeck August 13, 2012 at 8:21 pm

There once was a man named DeWitt
who went to the outhouse to shit
but not a sound was heard
not so much as a word
so we wrote: herein lies DeWitt inturd

MissTaken August 13, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Can I sue that it's against my civil and religious rights to live in a country filled with asswipe bigots like DeWitt R. Thomas?

AlterNewt August 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

Yes.

foxpuppet August 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

Can we have a class action suit? I'll join.

Callyson August 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Sign me up for your religion.

GhostBuggy August 13, 2012 at 4:13 pm

No, because that ALSO is against his religion. See how that works?

NorthStarSpanx August 13, 2012 at 4:30 pm

I think he's cousin's with this guy:

Dick ‏@DicksTrash

G'night, shitbird. Sleep well. You're gonna get your sorry, no good, Communist ass kicked November 6th. @BarackObama

comrad_darkness August 13, 2012 at 4:42 pm

If he's talking about by Romney, the only threat is a forced hair cut. And that's only if Romney's bully posse is still tagging around him.

billy_reuben August 13, 2012 at 11:15 pm

That's only the start if it! DeWitt R. Thomas is rumored to be breathing *my* oxygen. This is anathema to my sacred creed. Deporting him just means that Johnny-breathes-a-lot will be polluting our holy respiration medium from slightly further away, but the effect is the same. My creed says that we should make every effort to shoot him inro the Sun. With Votes.

FNMA August 13, 2012 at 3:05 pm

OK, you're just flat out making this shit up now. Nice touch with "negroidal."
Next thing we know, you'll be telling us Romney picked some right-wing dingbat like Ryan to be his running mate…

zippy_w_pinhead August 13, 2012 at 4:24 pm

jokes on you- Romney had no say in that

barbaramulveywelsh August 13, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Isn't this kind of suit outlawed under tort reform in Texas?

1stNewtontheMoon August 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm

surely this guy is totally comfortable with the Supreme Court's ruling in the ACA case. If there's any guess I can make about Big Sandy, Texas grocery shoppers, it's there's a 96.4% chance any one of them suffers from a chronic health condition and relies on government assistance (or the emergency room) for their healthcare.

chicken_thief August 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm

What? Thomas didn't have no trucknutz hitch on his truck so he could drag Menefee home to unload the groceries?

smokefilledroommate August 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Thomas said his religious beliefs are based on Vedism, which he said encompasses Hinduism.

LOL

OurHoboSenator August 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Wait, does this mean I'm going to become a racist asshole if I take up yoga? Because I've been thinking about it.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 13, 2012 at 8:03 pm

Becoming a racist asshole, or taking up yoga?

horsedreamer_1 August 13, 2012 at 10:01 pm

Both of them, Katie.

foxpuppet August 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Seriously? So, he's trying to invent his own caste system?

Spurning Beer August 13, 2012 at 3:35 pm

"Untouchable" is the N-word in India.

The "U" is silent. As in "Untouchable."

MittBorg August 13, 2012 at 10:45 pm

But it's hardly ever used any more. Now they are called "Children of God." Of course, that hasn't stopped anyone from chopping off their fingers for "polluting" the higher caste wells, or walkways.

doloras August 13, 2012 at 4:15 pm

Holy crap, he must be a follower of Savitri Devi. It's known that the Nazis loved Hinduism because they wanted to bring in a caste system in Europe.

MittBorg August 13, 2012 at 10:49 pm

They loved *their idea* of it. Geeze, Hindu philosophers have been arguing for 5,000 years about what Hinduism is. I hardly think some half-English shada samra, regardless of her academic prowess, could possibly be considered an authority.

foxpuppet August 13, 2012 at 11:11 pm

Well, there ya go- Hinduism has just as much right to be misunderstood/ misinterpreted as any other religion. Maybe more, since they've been around so long…

Why do I suspect that this guy wants to be 'Vedic' mostly because he likes the caste system, rather than the more spiritually worthy aspects of Hinduism?

MittBorg August 14, 2012 at 12:11 am

I'm reading about it right now and I must have about fifty books, and no two authors seem to agree on exactly what Hinduism *is* (other than "a way of life," or "inclusive.") Some cults feature blood sacrifice and even human sacrifice; others enjoin the eating of anything that doesn't fall naturally off a tree, because it is forbidden to take life; still others extol the glories of righteous war. Fascinating, but very confusing. And yes, I strongly suspect our "negroidal" friend is merely yearning to stick the boot in those of a darker hue rather than longing for any kind of spiritual development, the schmuck.

MissTaken August 13, 2012 at 3:06 pm

Jesus was a negroidal.

1stNewtontheMoon August 13, 2012 at 3:22 pm

You know who else is?

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I thought he was a Hebroidal?

IonaTrailer August 13, 2012 at 3:07 pm

If we threw in Oklahoma and Kansas, maybe Mexico would take Texas back.

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 3:08 pm

That sounds like a deal-breaker more than a deal-sweetener.

Nowisallthereis August 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Don't forget Arizona!!!!!

Generation[redacted] August 13, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I say we give Arizona back to the Navajo, and let them stand their ground all they want.

sewollef August 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm

If they took Mississippi and Alabama too, the IQ of the country would go up dramatically overnight, the teen pregnancy rates would plummet and us lucky northerners get to keep more of our federal tax dollars instead of giving them to those semi-literate assholes.

It's a win-win.

GeorgiaBurning August 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

This won't get anywhere without Howie Mandel and 25 fashion models.

Local_Mojo August 13, 2012 at 3:07 pm

My religion tells me to slap morons upside the head.

America, are you ready for some head-slapping?

DaRooster August 13, 2012 at 4:06 pm

I'm ALL IN!

thebeatgoeson August 14, 2012 at 12:19 am

YES

teebob2000 August 14, 2012 at 10:39 am

I hope you've got a few hundred extra pairs of hands, because after the first 20 or 30 million morons, they're gonna be awfully sore!

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 3:07 pm

Negroidal = Texas home schooled.

Maman August 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

That is the entirety of the curriculum

WhatTheHolyHeck August 13, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I'm going to sue my local dim sum place for not being filled with caucasians. Them were just regular asians.

Oblios_Cap August 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Are you sure that they weren't them Cock-Asians?

Baconzgood August 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

HEEEEEYYYYYY-OOOOOOOOO

BoatOfVelociraptors August 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

In Thailand, that can be a challenge.

Nostrildamus August 13, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Mittens better watch his step. The Dump Romney campaign will be drafting this guy.

PhilippePetain August 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

"Hey, your existence is, like, assaulting my freedoms!"

Finally someone is standing up for the philosophical underpinnings to this very exceptional country of ours.

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Yeah, sorry, the Supreme Court already settled this (along with the Catholic claim that religious freedom means they prevent their employees from using birth control) back in the early 90s when they ruled that freedom of religion doesn't make it legal to smoke peyote just because it's part of your religion.

IonaTrailer August 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

It's not??????

Baconzgood August 13, 2012 at 3:20 pm

My peyote is for recreation and not for some heatheness, does that make it legal?

BoatOfVelociraptors August 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

But Catholic Cannibalism is still ok, right?

PubOption August 13, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Not on Fridays.

Fox n Fiends August 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Lopez: "Is nothing sacred?"
Hitchens: "No."

rickmaci August 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Breitbart: "Damn this place is hotter than Big Sandy Texas."

BaldarTFlagass August 13, 2012 at 3:09 pm

Guess that guy never goes to Popeye's.

smokefilledroommate August 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm

Don't you mean 'Popoid's'?

Butch_Wagstaff August 13, 2012 at 5:23 pm

I suspect this guys hardly goes anywhere.

chicken_thief August 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

If this works for Thomas, I'ma telling all the female baggers that it's agin mah creed iffen they don't grab my meat and handle it lovingly.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

I question the wisdom of that statement, but can see the upside vis a vis the lack of teeth.

PsycWench August 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

I'm waiting for the first male student to claim that it's against his creed to be given a bad grade by a female professor.

Warwhatgoodfor August 13, 2012 at 9:00 pm

But, but, didn't he offer to do "anything" in order to get a better grade? Damn incompetent sexist pig. Didn't he learn anything in grade school? OBTW, don't see you around much anymore. Not that I'm here much either. Too busy teaching assholes, er, attentive students?

LastGasp August 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

The "Negroidal" hater's first name is DeWitt, which is awfully close to dimwit, which explains sooo much (for example, his lawsuit is hand-written).

RedneckMuslin August 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Jesus never used a word processor, either.

DaRooster August 13, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Probably like that damn shopping list.

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

The supermarket violated my religious freedom too, they kicked me out after I asked the cashier if she was on the rag because Leviticus says we menfolk aren't supposed to associate with dirty menstruating women.

MonkeyMotion August 13, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Finally, someone who reads his Bible. Alleluia!

And 'nuf 'bout that "round earth" stuff already, too…or you got yourselves another lawsuit!

Warwhatgoodfor August 13, 2012 at 9:03 pm

Jeeze, the atheist Greeks knew about that science stuff while the Jews were still traveling thru Palestine killing, raping, and selling into sexual slavery everybody that wasn't one of gods chosen. Not sure what that means, but I'm thinking about it.

Baconzgood August 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Negroidal person? No, no, no, no. I'm throwing a flag on this one. Use of made up word in order to sound smart. 15 Sara Palins, repeat 2nd down.

MrsConclusion August 13, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Not to mention use of "creed" in order to sound all Founding Father-y and Biblical and shit. TWICE. The Commissioner will have a ruling shortly.

bumfug August 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

What about my right to freedom FROM religion?

comrad_darkness August 13, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Hallelujah!

johnnyzhivago August 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

I'm planning to sue NBC for showing all those foreigners in the Olympics.

Nostrildamus August 13, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Funny, I don't recall seeing anyone besides Americans in NBC's coverage.

smokefilledroommate August 13, 2012 at 3:11 pm

“White people are to be protected under the civil rights law just as anyone else,” Thomas said. “It would be the same as if you asked that a congoid (a person from west/central Africa) not touch your food.”

I guess the president's a "Kenyoid" to him.

Spurning Beer August 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

If he went to Alaska, he'd be yelling about Polaroids touching his food.

Generation[redacted] August 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

This dude sounds like a retoid.

smokefilledroommate August 13, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I know it's not PC, but he's a mongoloid.

doloras August 13, 2012 at 4:30 pm

And it determines what he can see.

Negropolis August 14, 2012 at 2:55 am

He really seems to be set on calling black people by a "scientific" name. I guess it helps him from yelling out "nigger", bless his heart.

BaldarTFlagass August 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Surrender is not in our creed!

MissTaken August 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I Googled 'negroidal' and got the below. I'm going to take a silkwood shower now. http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=4

Once again we are seeing the limits of the negroidal intellect when placed in a position of authority and integrity. Detroit schools are literal cesspools of all manner of liberal evil, and this jigaboo is too busy ogling
women and groping and stimulating himself to be bothered running the worst school district in the country.

BoatOfVelociraptors August 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Landoverbaptist is quite possibly snarkier than our editrix.

Warwhatgoodfor August 13, 2012 at 9:11 pm

I want to help with that silkwood shower. Really. I mean, some of those lady parts can be real difficult to get at without assistance. At least, that's what I been told. Wouldn't want you to feel dirty or anything.

fartknocker August 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Welcome to Big Sandy, TX. About 40% of the population is below the property line and it's best known for being the campus of the Worldwide Church of God and Ambassador College.

This open racism is pretty common in some East Texas counties. It's sad and I don't condone it and I don't travel this region.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Sandy,_Texas

johnnyzhivago August 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

You'd think the home of Amassador College would be more diplomatic.

BaldarTFlagass August 13, 2012 at 3:25 pm

They were referring not to some generic diplomat in that name, but the Rambler/AMC Ambassador, brainchild of George Romney. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AMC_Ambassador

Extemporanus August 13, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Once you go sack, you never go back.

(Sorry…the cocaine hasn't kicked in yet.)

BoatOfVelociraptors August 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

PAPER BAG LIBEL!!!

ThundercatHo August 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Once you go Rice, white boys not nearly as nice.

(Sorry, guess it's time for the afternoon cuppa Joe)

not that Dewey August 13, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Sack don't crack!

veritass August 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

From LGF:

In 2011. "Dewitt R. Thomas, 42, of Tyler, driving while intoxicated; subsequent offense (habitual offender) on June 6, in county jail. While bond was set at $10,000, he cannot be released on bond since he is charged with parole violation."

IceCreamEmpress August 13, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Man, white supremacists are ALWAYS their own best counter-arguments. Fucker's got nothing to be proud of except his lack of melanin.

iburl August 13, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Typical religious oppression caused by Obamacare.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 14, 2012 at 7:17 am

Does Texas have voter-ID laws? Because this gomer losing his license could be a win-win.

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Keith Langston's photo in the news-journal is a dead ringer for Hank Hill. Reagan- and Tom Landry-lover though he was, I can imagine Ol' Hank kickin' this Neanderthal in the ass, too.

Bears Coach Lovie Smith is a native of Big Sandy, Texas also. That devoutly Christian, white-wife-havin' black gentleman would probably love to coach the Cowboys someday. That's some powerful Stockholm Syndrome.

Limeylizzie August 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Hey there, my favourite Negroidal , I'll let you 'bag" me any old time.

Signed Limeoidal Lizzie

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Look out Ma'am, there's a neo-Nazi behind that Pepsi display! (Wings package of frozen bratwurst at the accursed Fascist) Are you alright?

Baconzgood August 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

I'm banned from several bars (for reasons I've been advised by my counselor not to delve into)….I wonder if this will work in letting me back for happy hour.

sbj1964 August 13, 2012 at 3:14 pm

This guy is just another victim of the Zombie Jesus virus.It eats away the brain.Zombie Jesus wants your BRAIN! Don't worry your a christian you wont be needing it any more.

BaldarTFlagass August 13, 2012 at 3:15 pm

I hope you know that Landover Baptist is a satire site, and has been for many years. Save your water and your soap.

SorosBot August 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm

The sad thing is, the real wingnuts have gone so nuts in recent years that the parody is often actually less extreme than the real thing.

Biel_ze_Bubba August 14, 2012 at 7:03 am

How can you tell?

Monsieur_Grumpe August 13, 2012 at 3:16 pm

Big Sandy sounds like it might make a good litter box.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 13, 2012 at 3:17 pm

You have to think that when K-Lo found out that she could use her wacked out religious beliefs to discriminate against black people, she may have reached her first orgasm.

iburl August 13, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I thought I just felt a small tremor down here in Texas.

smokefilledroommate August 13, 2012 at 3:18 pm

When asked about his lawsuit, Thomas began describing in detail what he wore to court that morning.

Goonemeritus August 13, 2012 at 3:18 pm

If that is truly a tenant of his faith I hope he has a large home garden because no commercial agricultural product is presently certified grown and harvested minority free.

JerkCade August 13, 2012 at 3:18 pm

I wonder what kind of cracker he buys.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 13, 2012 at 3:20 pm

White, bland, flavorless.

1stNewtontheMoon August 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

the kind that goes best with nazi-cooked meth.

Lionel[redacted]Esq August 13, 2012 at 3:18 pm

On the brighter side, isn't it nice, even with our current Republican party, that we have come far enough in this country that a young black man in Texas assumes that an idiot like this is making a joke, and not that he is about to get lynched? Not bad progress in 50 years.

cheetojeebus August 13, 2012 at 7:19 pm

+ the fact that the cashier and store owner had his back.

glamourdammerung August 13, 2012 at 3:19 pm

I wonder how many free Chick Fillet sandwiches he got out of doing this.

JustPixelz August 13, 2012 at 3:20 pm

First off, hats off to store owner Keith Langston for doing the right thing.

If asshat of the year doesn't like "negroidal" people to handle his food, he needs to move to … um … well … um … weight watchers. Because our groceries take a long journey before landing in those paper bags.

I'm getting pretty sick of white people And I are one. I may have to grow a beard just to stop looking at that puffy, pasty, white face in the mirror each morning.

Goonemeritus August 13, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Look at the bright side if Fox News is right we are heading for minority status soon.

LetUsBray August 13, 2012 at 4:40 pm

Agreed. If (gods forbid) I'm ever in Big Sandy (shudder), I will absolutely shop at Two Rivers Grocery & Market. I may even buy two of the maps showing the quickest way out of town, which I'm sure is a popular item.

Spurning Beer August 13, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Call me old fashioned, but I don't want a person of any race banging my groceries.

What?

Oh, never mind.

zippy_w_pinhead August 13, 2012 at 5:39 pm

don't touch my junk food…

mmeetoilenoir August 13, 2012 at 3:21 pm

I'll tell you what: I hope this lousy, racist jackanapes falls down in a foaming, massive heart attack in front of a "Negroidal" cardiologist, who then selflessly saves his worthless ass. I then hope that the guilt, shame and confusion causes him to have a Javert-like mental crisis, driving him to jump off a really high fucking bridge.

I practice brotherly love, dang it.

ChessieNefercat August 13, 2012 at 4:39 pm

I like your scenario, except I would just stop where he falls down at the feet of the Negroidal cardiologist, who doesn't notice the jackanapes because he's daydreaming about the nice house he's going to buy for his daddy who worked so hard at all those crap jobs to put him through college and med school.

Spurning Beer August 13, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Dewitt R. Thomas is a total Hemorrhoidal.

Goonemeritus August 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

How does he feel about the Irish touching his food?

smokefilledroommate August 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

He doesn't like those McFeeleys.

IceCreamEmpress August 13, 2012 at 5:03 pm

If he wants a Mayflower descendant to spit in his food, I would be happy to oblige. Over and over and over.

THAT IS WHAT THE FUTURE IS LIKE, MAYFLOWER SPIT GOING INTO THESE CLOWNFISHES' FOOD FOREVER

Buzz Feedback August 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Wait until DeWitt finds out who picks his tomatoes.

metamarcisf August 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Speaking 0f Texas, who'll be the first Lone- Star wingnut to publicly say something stupid about today's mass shooting on the A & M campus? My money's on Gohmert.

BaldarTFlagass August 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

From what I read, it was off-campus. But you're probably still right about Gohmert.

Terry August 13, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Off campus, but within spitting distance. 98% of people and activities in Bryan/College Station are linked to the University, usually in multiple ways.
http://www.theeagle.com/article/20120813/BC0101/1

cheetojeebus August 13, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Best thing to do when you're in College Station is to be sure you have your windows all rolled up. You don't want to stop at a light and have some college administrator toss a diploma on the front seat.

Terry August 13, 2012 at 4:15 pm

The Bryan/College Station news and the blogs are saying that the constable who was killed was serving an eviction notice at a rental property right off campus. Just off George Bush Blvd, btw.

mmeetoilenoir August 13, 2012 at 3:23 pm

You know WHO ELSE didn't want no "Negroidal person" handling his food?!

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Howard Hughes?

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 3:54 pm

"Mademoiselle Etoile Noir"? Are you Diana Ross? Patti LaBelle?

mmeetoilenoir August 13, 2012 at 9:56 pm

I'm Iman, but don't tell anyone.

horsedreamer_1 August 13, 2012 at 10:03 pm

Does David still wear the eyepatch?

rickmaci August 13, 2012 at 4:09 pm

P. W. Botha?

Tundra Grifter August 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm

David Duke?

Pat Buchanan?

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 3:24 pm

I guess he never had a Negroidal maid who cooked his grits and told him how kind, smart and important he was.

Extemporanus August 13, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Contrary to legend, not all Baggers are magical.

rickmaci August 13, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I guess this would require that NFL teams play with two balls, one for the Negroidal players and another for the the Paleoidians. But as a gesture of team solidarity Latinite players could play with both.

StarsUponThars August 13, 2012 at 3:25 pm

I'm confused. I thought the bigots liked their darkies to have subservient roles.

ChessieNefercat August 13, 2012 at 4:35 pm

Damn. I was just going to submit a comment pretty much saying this. I'm confused too.

Baconzgood August 13, 2012 at 3:25 pm

"He stated in a nine-page, hand-written lawsuit"

Oh to see the spelling and grammer mistakes. I wonder how many pages were LOL Kitty illustrations

emmelemm August 13, 2012 at 4:39 pm

That was the best part of the article. I wonder if it was in crayon.

LocalGirlMakesGoo August 13, 2012 at 3:26 pm

nine page, handwritten lawsuit reminds me of one of my favourite lines…

"What are you doing back in school? I thought you got your law degree from Columbia."

"Yeah, well, now I gotta get one from America."

sudsmckenzie August 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Community ,,, er libel?

LocalGirlMakesGoo August 13, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Community! Thanks, I couldn't remember where it was from.

sudsmckenzie August 13, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Streets ahead!

Jus_Wonderin August 13, 2012 at 3:27 pm

"Warning: Microwave Ovens and Negroes in Use."

OurHoboSenator August 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm

His grocery store has actual BAGGERS, and he's mad about that? Jeez, my local Giant Eagle conspicuously understaffs the checkout lanes so you'll be forced to use the damn self-check lanes and scan and bag your groceries yourself. I would love to see cashiers and baggers of all races, creeds, and colors, and the self-checks blown up. Well, except for one to be saved to use when you're buying antifungal lotion or ten cans of catfood on a Friday night something embarrassing like that.

randcoolcatdaddy August 13, 2012 at 3:28 pm

"Negroidal persons" .

The sad thing is that the bagger thought it was a joke at first. Yep, on the surface you think we've progressed so far that something as ridiculous as not wanting a Black person to touch your food would be a joke. But, sadly, there ain't no joke here.

HarryButtle August 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Dude…Creed sucks.

Baconzgood August 13, 2012 at 3:33 pm

My only regret is that I have but one fisting to give you.

Chet Kincaid_ August 13, 2012 at 3:39 pm

(Forces mouth into overbite) Can you take me higher?

HempDogbane August 13, 2012 at 3:29 pm

The customer is always right.

MacRaith August 13, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Look, I've run across plenty of idiotic racists in my time, but this is the first time I've ever heard of one who was adamantly opposed to a black man holding a miserable minimum-wage job.

Soylent Green August 13, 2012 at 3:32 pm

And his world stops at the bag boy. He'll be in for a shock when he tours the plant where they make his Jimmy Jizm sausage links.

IonaTrailer August 13, 2012 at 3:44 pm

And where they make his Chaneka Cunt-Hair Cookies

Baconzgood August 13, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Black people not being able to touch his food? One less dude in line in front of me at the ribs joint.

foxpuppet August 13, 2012 at 3:37 pm

So if he can't control who touches his food when he goes to the grocery store (or restaurant), why doesn't he just grow & prepare his own?

If he were truly serious about this made-up religion of his, he would never take a chance that an unseen, unclean person has contaminated his food. How many Jews or Muslims try to sue BBQ joints in their area for not offering kosher/halal options?

widestanceromance August 13, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Oh, please let his photo be plastered in every food-serving and -selling establishment in all of Texas, so he can be guaranteed nothing impure EVER finds its way to his food. Like rat vomit. Or armadillo intestinal mucous. Or battery acid.

Need I go on?

mavenmaven August 13, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Ron Paul doesn't understand what you find unusual about this story.

Guppy August 13, 2012 at 3:42 pm

And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand:
Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

Having dietary restrictions makes him sound Mohammedan.

a_pink_poodle August 13, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Reverse racism! Reverse racism! If it was a black Klansman saying he didn't want his groceries handled by a black man, you liberals wouldn't be crying foul!

pdiddycornchips August 13, 2012 at 3:49 pm

The two parties should agree to have their case settled on Judge Judy. After she rules against Mr. Thomas, the bailiff can take him out back and "bag his groceries" which from this day forth shall mean kicking a person in the nutz with your cowboy boots.

BZ1 August 13, 2012 at 3:53 pm

"It was against my creed" (there's a creed for bigotry?)

sullivanst August 13, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Two Rivers Grocery and Market in Big Sandy, eh?

Well, if I'm ever unfortunate enough to find myself anywhere near the Dallas Ft Worth area, I know where I'm going grocery shopping.

Terry August 13, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Well, good on the store staff and management for thinking first that the man's statements had to be a joke. That means we've made some incremental changes as a society. Also good on them for sending the rat bastard on his way and banning him from the store. More of that needs to happen.

Tundra Grifter August 13, 2012 at 4:18 pm

Several years ago I was in a local drugstore in a long line. They opened up another cash register and asked if we wanted to move over there.

The geezer behind me saw a Black man was the cashier and told me in a low voice "No. They have diseases."

I totally went off on the guy. I was yelling and the other people in the store were obviously wondering why I was being so mean to an old man. I hate it when a white person automatically assumes I'm a racist because I, too, am white.

Finally I shouted at him "I wish you were young enough for me to kick your ass."

He left.

miss_grundy August 13, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Is it me or are white people seriously crazy in the United States. I mean, SERIOUSLY. If people thought white Americans were racist before the President was elected, I now believe that the crazy racists are everywhere. This is like racist McCarthyism gone wild and instead of being afraid that there are communists under your bed, you now have to be afraid that there are crazy white racists with guns under your bed. There are segments of this country that need to be hospitalized under an emergency psychiatric ruling. SERIOUSLY.

YasserArraFeck August 13, 2012 at 4:31 pm

I think this dude's in for a whole lot of "special sauce" whenever he goes out for fast food in future.

rickmaci August 13, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Like anyone here should be surprised by any of this. After all the RepubliKKKans have been blowing those fucking dog whistles for the last 40 years, since Nixon. Of course there are hounds from hell out running free.

M. Bouffant August 13, 2012 at 4:44 pm

Waist deep in the Big Sandy.

LetUsBray August 13, 2012 at 4:46 pm

My religion teaches that fuckbags like Dewitt R. Thomas should be fed to lions for public amusement. Where's my religious freedom? When will my oppression end?

comrad_darkness August 13, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Can I sue if the Robotoidal candidate becomes president? It's against my religion to have machine overlords.

kissawookiee August 13, 2012 at 4:55 pm

In DeWitt's defense, he was simply trying to protect his speggtti, cedar cheese, and cakes he likes.

Katydid August 13, 2012 at 5:04 pm

Does this scumsucking motherfucking father-raping son of a bitch know the black doesn't come off?

CogitoErgoSumo August 13, 2012 at 5:11 pm

We were on the outskirts of Hawkins near the Big Sandy supermarket when the drugs began to take hold…

valthemus August 13, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Someone suggested folks might start using "religious freedom" to justify not allowing any Jews or Muslims to be president and I made a joke about someone using it to keep the darkies out of their store or to only have white waiters and salespeople. Guffaws all around! How ridiculous!

Thank you, racist wankers, for transforming me from a comedian into a prophet!

Nostrildamus August 13, 2012 at 5:28 pm

Treat yourself to a relaxing Negroidal today!

owhatever August 13, 2012 at 5:34 pm

Dewitt R. Thomas has a Negroidal president and Jewnoid god.

ChessieNefercat August 14, 2012 at 12:33 pm

And a Celticoid VP.

TavariousChinaSmith August 13, 2012 at 6:05 pm

No, I checked and he's absolutely right. It's right there in the Bible of the So Stupid It Hurts Sect of which he is a member:

"For lo, even as a negroidal person shall toucheth your victuals though only in passing, you yourself may also come down with a case of the negroids. From which you can never go back, as it is written"

mbobier August 13, 2012 at 6:52 pm

"He stated in a nine-page, hand-written lawsuit" pretty much says it all.

dennis1943 August 13, 2012 at 7:16 pm

A Texas Mormon……..?

Angry_Marmot August 13, 2012 at 7:48 pm

If he starts to bleed, will that make him a hemorrhoid?

ttommyunger August 14, 2012 at 8:11 pm

Texas, really? Now there's a shocker.

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 12:44 am

From what I know of Hinduism, "a way of life" seems apt. But that is also true of most older religions, don't you think? Even Judaism is often treated as more of a set of ethics rather than as a creed where you have to believe stuff written in the Bible or Talmud, for example.

MittBorg August 14, 2012 at 1:23 am

Hinduism has so MANY sacred texts, though. And while it's quite true that, for example, the Upanishads predate the Bhagavad Gita, no one can point to a single text and claim that it summarizes or embodies Hinduism adequately. Those who cite the Devi Bhagavatam ignore the possible contradictions in the Puranas, and so forth.

At least Christians and Jews only have the one document (or half, for the Jews who do not believe that Jesus was the promised Messiah as the Christians do.)

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 2:42 am

What's that saying that if you speak to 10 different Jews, you get at least 10 different opinions about anything? Something like that…

I think what I meant was that religion 'as a way of life' is more of an anthropological way of looking at a religion that's distinct from studying a religion based on its sacred texts.

With the obvious exception of people who make up their own religions (like this guy, I'm guessing), most people who belong to religions know what they are taught about traditions, holidays, etc., but generally are not experts when it comes to questions of doctrine.

MittBorg August 14, 2012 at 12:16 pm

Thanks. I can be a bit impervious to social cues at times, and even to language, so that I think I';m having one argument while everyone else thinks its another. :)

So thanks for clarifying, and for being so very charming and subtle about it.

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Have you ever read 'A River Sutra' by Gita Mehta? It might be a nice accompaniment to your scripture readings? http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/129136.A_River

MittBorg August 14, 2012 at 2:37 pm

Yes, three years ago. Delightful book. Did you ever read Daughters of the House, by Indrani Aikath-Gyaltsen? Delightful book.

foxpuppet August 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm

No, I haven't read it. I thought the title sounded familiar, but there was another book of the same name by Michèle Roberts, so that might be why.

I'll see if I can lay hold of a copy- thanks for the recommendation.

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