IT'S BECAUSE THEY HAVE TEETH  1:45 pm July 26, 2012

Helpful Sign On Michigan Politician’s Porch Lets World Know How He Feels About Vag

by Jeff Wattrick

Michigan Speaker of the House Jase BolgerMichigan Speaker of the House Jase Bolger has a well-known antipathy for vagina. He famously reprimanded two state representatives for defiling the sanctity of the state House floor by uttering the foul, anatomically correct word.

This week a militant, likely working with the ultra-radical Mike Hunt Liberation Front, struck back with a direct action against Bolger’s home. Basically, singer Laura Love hung a banner on his porch that says “Vaginas Are Revolting.”

The worst part is passersby might assume the sign was Bolger’s doing and perhaps the strangest coming out in the history of the world, but that is not the case. Jase Bolger did not hang this sign to let the world know that he personally finds vaginas revolting. Really, guys, he didn’t.

[Youtube]

 
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{ 133 comments }

actor212 July 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm

Vaginas are revolting?

Well, around me, they often uprise…

Oblios_Cap July 27, 2012 at 9:42 am

Do you mean "queef"?

ChernobylSoup July 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm

What are their demands?

Blunderthing July 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

"More pleasure, less douche."

boobookitteh July 26, 2012 at 1:52 pm

An end to the Republican Occupation.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 3:21 pm

WIN!!

actor212 July 26, 2012 at 1:59 pm

MOAR P.E.N.I.S.!

Gratuitous World July 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Piece on earth

Doktor Zoom July 26, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Freedom, Equality, and Reasonably-Priced Love

Advn2rgirl July 26, 2012 at 2:49 pm

But probably not a hard-boiled egg.

Caelan Aegana July 26, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Terry Pratchett Win.

WIDTAP July 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

"Foreplay! Haven't you bastards ever heard of foreplay?"

actor212 July 26, 2012 at 2:17 pm

Yes. It comes just before Coldplay.

James Michael Curley July 26, 2012 at 2:33 pm

I do it so well its called fiveplay.

BoatOfVelociraptors July 26, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Ah, an upfist.

SorosBot July 26, 2012 at 2:20 pm

More cunnilingus; less entitles douchebags who just get themselves off without caring for the vagina's pleasure.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 3:22 pm

A tongue sangwich (often followed by a sausage sangwich), if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

just_a_head July 27, 2012 at 3:05 am

More eating at the Y?

Oh, yeah, and vibrators for EVERYONE!

Maman July 26, 2012 at 1:48 pm

He is going to have to wash his entire house now that it has been covered in vag.

Ayn Rand Paul Tard July 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Well, he is going to leave the sheet up for a few days first.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

This just made my day.

randcoolcatdaddy July 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm

She stole the sign from Lindsey Graham's house.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Or possibly Lindsay Lohan's house.

DerrickWildcat July 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Curling Vagina libel?

user-of-towels July 26, 2012 at 2:26 pm

They've got 'im by the short and curlings.

RadioBowels July 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I'm Mike Hawkstrong, and I approve this message.

Barb_ July 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

He made good use of his white sheet when he made his banner. Teabaggers choose to wear theirs.

user-of-towels July 26, 2012 at 2:23 pm

Mark Hamill, is that you?

johnnymeatworth July 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Another covert op by the Vaginal Liberation Front.

BigSkullF*ckingDog July 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

Curling is the number one dumbest fictional sport ever.

MissTaken July 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

*cough* Dressage *cough*

WhatTheHolyHeck July 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

There are regulations about who buys the beer. WRITTEN INTO THE RULE BOOK.

There is no way any sport that requires certain parties to provide beer based on match eventualities can be construed as dumb.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 3:25 pm

Rolilng a giant cheese down a giant hill is so goofy as to go all the way back to awesome and become gloriously Monty Python-esque:
http://www.cheese-rolling.co.uk/index1.htm

Typodong3 July 26, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Have you ever SEEN a curling event? Some of those Canadian curling chicks are hot!

Baconzgood July 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm

I like vaginas. I find them quite pleasant most of the time.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

And delicious!

Typodong3 July 26, 2012 at 5:48 pm

You can have my (GFs) vagina when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands!

hollywooddood July 26, 2012 at 1:51 pm

I'm voting pro-vag in 2012.

Typodong3 July 26, 2012 at 5:48 pm

Is there a vagina caucus?

JustPixelz July 26, 2012 at 1:52 pm

"Jase Bolger did not hang this sign…"

He outsourced it?!

Goonemeritus July 26, 2012 at 1:53 pm

When did this Blog stop being about Buttsechs?

ibwilliamsi July 26, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Someone got butt hurt.

BaldarTFlagass July 26, 2012 at 1:53 pm

Lauren Hutton has put on some weight.

Hammiepants July 26, 2012 at 1:53 pm

OCCUPY VAGINA!!! No, really. It's fun!

GhostBuggy July 26, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Will we be greeted as liberators?

Hammiepants July 26, 2012 at 3:36 pm

I swear I read that as "will we be greeted as vibrators?'

BoatOfVelociraptors July 26, 2012 at 4:00 pm

There are condoms that help with that.

Callyson July 26, 2012 at 7:08 pm

I for one welcome our new vibrating overlords.

sbj1964 July 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Like a good Christian fundy he cut a whole in the sheet for sex on his wedding night.Girls have cooties!

SayItWithWookies July 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

"If I've said it once, I've said it a Brazilian times…"

Jus_Wonderin July 26, 2012 at 2:17 pm

I had to trim my long, and somewhat tangled comment. Sometimes, I can't see the forest for the trees.

YasserArraFeck July 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

Jase is modelling the new Michigan State House-approved transvaginal ultrasound probe. That'll learn them 'bortion-seeking whores real good!!

Barb_ July 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

One of you guys should make your own banner.
"I am not a Gynocologist, but let me go ahead and take a look at that for you"

Jus_Wonderin July 26, 2012 at 2:18 pm

Barb, do I need to invest in stirrups?

Barb_ July 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm

Nah, just get a pair of cargo pants from Old Navy.

prommie July 26, 2012 at 1:54 pm

I like Bruce Springsteen's song about vagina, Pink Cadillac.
"we don't have to drive it
Honey we can park it out in back
And have a party in your pink Cadillac"

FakaktaSouth July 26, 2012 at 1:57 pm

I prefer his one about dicks, Cadillac Ranch –

Long and dark shiny and black
Open up your engines let `em roar

actor212 July 26, 2012 at 2:01 pm

I liked his earlier penis song:

Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
And straps your hands cross my engines.

prommie July 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

I also like his earlier vagina song, The River
at night we'd go down to the river,
and into the river we'd dive

prommie July 26, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I saw him play The Clash's Black Cadillac, with Jacob Dylan's band, in a club in Long Branch –
My baby drove off in a brand new Cadillac. . . .
She ain't never coming back

Blueb4sinrise July 26, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Is this Shining Path?
Warm, Moist, Glistening Path?
Fapatistas?

PubOption July 26, 2012 at 2:02 pm

FARC?

BaldarTFlagass July 26, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Shouldn't that be "queef"?

Boojum July 26, 2012 at 1:55 pm

Neds moar Koch.

Beowoof July 26, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Vaginas can be festive and fun, unless like Jase you go out of your to piss them off.

Ruhe July 26, 2012 at 1:56 pm

Takes some pretty big stones to admit that you don't like vagina…well at least one big stone.

SorosBot July 26, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Vaginas are for pooping out the babies, and nothing else!

OneYieldRegular July 26, 2012 at 1:58 pm

Now everyone's going to be calling him "Va-Jay-Jase."

emmelemm July 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

Approve! Let's get that started!

calliecallie July 26, 2012 at 8:24 pm

LOVE this. I can hardly wait to use it.

ph7 July 26, 2012 at 1:59 pm

Viva La Revolución!

Doktor Zoom July 26, 2012 at 2:11 pm

The Revolution will not be Ultrasounded

coolhandnuke July 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

There's a Detroit Red Wings joke in there somewhere.

weejee July 26, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Something about high sticking?

coolhandnuke July 26, 2012 at 2:09 pm

Penalty box?

calliecallie July 26, 2012 at 8:25 pm

Power play?

IncenseDebate July 26, 2012 at 2:00 pm

Yam Sofa King Hui Toddit approved this message!

KeepFnThatOwl July 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

In this porch prank, the flaming bag of crap lives in the house!

freakishlywrong July 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

I love libruls and their sense of humor. Conservatives just don't get it. (nor do they get any vag)..

Katydid July 26, 2012 at 2:32 pm

then why are there so goddammed many of them?

MissTaken July 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

Vagina – It's not a revolt, it's a revolution.

BaldarTFlagass July 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Maybe Ron Paul will have a chance in Tampa after all.

SorosBot July 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Lysteria?

James Michael Curley July 26, 2012 at 2:42 pm

By Aristophanes. But if Euripides you have to pay for them.

glasspusher July 26, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Sit and spin?

gullywompr July 26, 2012 at 2:04 pm

Mission Accomplished.

Monsieur_Grumpe July 26, 2012 at 2:05 pm

someone needs to water that lawn.

Doktor Zoom July 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

And trim it, too.

MoeDeLawn July 26, 2012 at 2:53 pm

moe it furst.

PsycWench July 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm

I love Laura Love. And she's a lesbian so she knows all about vaginas.

OzoneTom July 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

She's great. She did a concert in here a while back and I'm hoping that she returns soon.

OldWhiteLies July 26, 2012 at 2:07 pm

Wait – what's the context – verbal or adverb? Are they revolting as in Dufus Bolger is revolted by them?

Or are they revolting as in there's a revolution coming.

bobbert July 26, 2012 at 2:11 pm

Yes?

emmelemm July 26, 2012 at 2:11 pm

"Both."

It works on levels, man. Levels.

SayItWithWookies July 26, 2012 at 2:34 pm

As Bob Dylan said, "It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls" — so it's a revolution coming.

Mittens Howell, III July 26, 2012 at 2:10 pm

They're only revolting when McCain picks them for VP.

mavenmaven July 26, 2012 at 2:11 pm

"and mow your lawn"

MoeDeLawn July 26, 2012 at 2:54 pm

Huh? Oh. Never mind.

KeepFnThatOwl July 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Exterior shot…. anyone know if the carpet matches the curtain?

Beetagger July 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Alt text needs work. Or is it meta?

FNMA July 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

To, once again, paraphrase Kent Brockman, I, for one, welcome our new vagina overlords.

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 3:31 pm

Now I'm hearing the "Empire March" from Star wars.

Ooh! Ooh! You guys!!
OT but freaking awesome story:
One of my former co-workers had his cell phone set up so that the "Empire March" was his ringtone… right?
So, we're all in a staff meeting, and the mildly evil but mostly pain in the ass upper managment guy barges in… right?
YES!!,
Co-worker's phone rang, thereby playing the "Empire March"!!

Seriously, how funny is that?

prommie July 26, 2012 at 2:13 pm

Damn, he sings a lot about vaginas, and doing it, doesn't he?

FakaktaSouth July 26, 2012 at 2:15 pm

Yes. Perhaps that has something to do with why he is one of my most favorites.

user-of-towels July 26, 2012 at 2:30 pm

What about his song about evaluating sexual partners?

He's making a list
Checking it twice
Gonna find out
If you're naughty or nice.
Santa Claus is coming to town!

just_a_head July 27, 2012 at 3:09 am

Like a Boss?

SmutBoffin July 26, 2012 at 2:14 pm

Vaginas have infiltrated our society at every level! They are tempting Our Nation's menfolk away from the chaste pleasures of going to church and fighting in wars.

I even have evidence that they are producing the majority of our children!

FNMA July 26, 2012 at 2:31 pm

Let's go to Michele Bachmann: Hilary Clinton has several top aides who have vaginas and these vaginas have enormous…OH MY GOD HILARY CLINTON HAS A VAGINA!

SmutBoffin July 26, 2012 at 2:34 pm

We're through the looking-glass, people.

KeepFnThatOwl July 26, 2012 at 2:20 pm

His press release:

My fellow Michiganders,

Despite falsified remarks to the contrary, I love pussy.

Warmly,
Jase

Jus_Wonderin July 26, 2012 at 2:20 pm

I believe I need a bit more information. Are these vaginas armed? Do I need protection? How many are there? And do I need to circle the wagons?

SmutBoffin July 26, 2012 at 2:31 pm

If you find yourself confronted by a vagina, just remember these important safety guidelines:

1) vaginas are easily startled; announce loudly "I AM A REPUBLICAN I HAVE AUTHORITY AND STUFF YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF ANTI-VAGINA LEGISLATION BEGONE"
2) DON'T try to run; vaginas can move more rapidly on land than in the water
3) if all else fails, offer the vagina what it wants (probably just some stimulation with lips and/or tongue fer chrissake)

coolhandnuke July 26, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Laura Love is the "Carrie" Nation of vaginas. Go full prom on this douchenozzle.

Baconzgood July 26, 2012 at 2:22 pm

Now that is a revolt I can really (wait for it) get into.

NYNYNYjr July 26, 2012 at 2:24 pm

Jase is an unfortunate name. Is it a rotarded nick name, like Mitt?

Geminisunmars July 26, 2012 at 3:15 pm

It is also short for Willard.

Joshua Norton July 26, 2012 at 2:25 pm

Does the Right have a problem with "feminism" not because it emancipates women but because that must be the only reason why women won’t talk to/touch them?

Sorry, just mumbling to myself…

Nostrildamus July 26, 2012 at 2:31 pm

That guy's going to wake up one morning with a horse's vagina in his bed.

Ducksworthy July 26, 2012 at 2:35 pm

What is also revolting is seeing him defiling that curling stone.

Tundra Grifter July 26, 2012 at 2:56 pm

What is he planning to iron with that stone thingie?

Did he borrow that from Wilma Flintstone?

Doktor Zoom July 26, 2012 at 3:00 pm

This guy's just making a speculum of himself

BZ1 July 26, 2012 at 3:00 pm

what pray tell is a "jase"?

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 3:33 pm

It's a variety of nutless sack.

zombiehunter101 July 26, 2012 at 3:02 pm

"My Vagine has TEETH and it knows how to use them" line from a movie i cant remember, but will NEVER forget the line!!

Biff July 26, 2012 at 3:17 pm

I've been just this close >< to Laura Love's vagina, you guys!

tessiee July 26, 2012 at 3:20 pm

Is Laura Love possessed by demons? Basically, that's impossible to diagnose.

TribecaMike July 26, 2012 at 3:57 pm

"This is my stone, this is my gun. This is for curling, this is for fun."

elgin_pelican July 26, 2012 at 4:42 pm

They should only be talked about in quiet rooms.

sati_demise July 26, 2012 at 4:45 pm

When do the cops come and beat the crap out of her?

miss_grundy July 26, 2012 at 7:25 pm

Fatboy Slim looks like he's never seen a vagina. Probably why he's so happy holding that curling thing….

FieryLocks July 27, 2012 at 3:57 am

VAGINA RIOT!!

DahBoner July 27, 2012 at 9:50 am

Vaginas are actually evolving into cup holders…

ttommyunger July 27, 2012 at 10:56 am

Typical clueless Rightard: totally ignores the Clit.

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