it's because they have teeth

Helpful Sign On Michigan Politician’s Porch Lets World Know How He Feels About Vag

Michigan Speaker of the House Jase BolgerMichigan Speaker of the House Jase Bolger has a well-known antipathy for vagina. He famously reprimanded two state representatives for defiling the sanctity of the state House floor by uttering the foul, anatomically correct word.

This week a militant, likely working with the ultra-radical Mike Hunt Liberation Front, struck back with a direct action against Bolger’s home. Basically, singer Laura Love hung a banner on his porch that says “Vaginas Are Revolting.”

The worst part is passersby might assume the sign was Bolger’s doing and perhaps the strangest coming out in the history of the world, but that is not the case. Jase Bolger did not hang this sign to let the world know that he personally finds vaginas revolting. Really, guys, he didn’t.

[Youtube]

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Jeff Wattrick is someone whose unsolicited submissions accidentally get published on Wonkette. He also writes for Deadline Detroit, which is this thing on the internet about the Motor City.

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  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    Vaginas are revolting?

    Well, around me, they often uprise…

    • Oblios_Cap

      Do you mean "queef"?

  • ChernobylSoup

    What are their demands?

    • Blunderthing

      "More pleasure, less douche."

    • http://twitter.com/bookofruthless boobookitteh

      An end to the Republican Occupation.

      • tessiee

        WIN!!

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      MOAR P.E.N.I.S.!

    • http://gratuity.wordpress.com/ Gratuitous World

      Piece on earth

    • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

      Freedom, Equality, and Reasonably-Priced Love

      • Advn2rgirl

        But probably not a hard-boiled egg.

      • Caelan Aegana

        Terry Pratchett Win.

    • WIDTAP

      "Foreplay! Haven't you bastards ever heard of foreplay?"

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        Yes. It comes just before Coldplay.

      • James Michael Curley

        I do it so well its called fiveplay.

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          Ah, an upfist.

    • SorosBot

      More cunnilingus; less entitles douchebags who just get themselves off without caring for the vagina's pleasure.

    • tessiee

      A tongue sangwich (often followed by a sausage sangwich), if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

    • just_a_head

      More eating at the Y?

      Oh, yeah, and vibrators for EVERYONE!

  • http://www.vinoverve.com Maman

    He is going to have to wash his entire house now that it has been covered in vag.

    • http://whatthefuckhasgopdonesofar.com/ Ayn Rand Paul Tard

      Well, he is going to leave the sheet up for a few days first.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    This just made my day.

  • randcoolcatdaddy

    She stole the sign from Lindsey Graham's house.

    • tessiee

      Or possibly Lindsay Lohan's house.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/30500320@N06/ DerrickWildcat

    Curling Vagina libel?

    • user-of-towels

      They've got 'im by the short and curlings.

  • RadioBowels

    I'm Mike Hawkstrong, and I approve this message.

  • Barb_

    He made good use of his white sheet when he made his banner. Teabaggers choose to wear theirs.

    • user-of-towels

      Mark Hamill, is that you?

  • johnnymeatworth

    Another covert op by the Vaginal Liberation Front.

  • BigSkullF*ckingDog

    Curling is the number one dumbest fictional sport ever.

    • MissTaken

      *cough* Dressage *cough*

    • WhatTheHolyHeck

      There are regulations about who buys the beer. WRITTEN INTO THE RULE BOOK.

      There is no way any sport that requires certain parties to provide beer based on match eventualities can be construed as dumb.

    • tessiee

      Rolilng a giant cheese down a giant hill is so goofy as to go all the way back to awesome and become gloriously Monty Python-esque:
      http://www.cheese-rolling.co.uk/index1.htm

    • Typodong3

      Have you ever SEEN a curling event? Some of those Canadian curling chicks are hot!

  • Baconzgood

    I like vaginas. I find them quite pleasant most of the time.

    • Monsieur_Grumpe

      And delicious!

    • Typodong3

      You can have my (GFs) vagina when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands!

  • hollywooddood

    I'm voting pro-vag in 2012.

    • Typodong3

      Is there a vagina caucus?

  • JustPixelz

    "Jase Bolger did not hang this sign…"

    He outsourced it?!

  • Goonemeritus

    When did this Blog stop being about Buttsechs?

    • ibwilliamsi

      Someone got butt hurt.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Lauren Hutton has put on some weight.

  • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/hamsterpantsworld Hammiepants

    OCCUPY VAGINA!!! No, really. It's fun!

    • GhostBuggy

      Will we be greeted as liberators?

      • http://www.tumblr.com/blog/hamsterpantsworld Hammiepants

        I swear I read that as "will we be greeted as vibrators?'

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          There are condoms that help with that.

        • Callyson

          I for one welcome our new vibrating overlords.

  • sbj1964

    Like a good Christian fundy he cut a whole in the sheet for sex on his wedding night.Girls have cooties!

  • SayItWithWookies

    "If I've said it once, I've said it a Brazilian times…"

    • Jus_Wonderin

      I had to trim my long, and somewhat tangled comment. Sometimes, I can't see the forest for the trees.

  • YasserArraFeck

    Jase is modelling the new Michigan State House-approved transvaginal ultrasound probe. That'll learn them 'bortion-seeking whores real good!!

  • Barb_

    One of you guys should make your own banner.
    "I am not a Gynocologist, but let me go ahead and take a look at that for you"

    • Jus_Wonderin

      Barb, do I need to invest in stirrups?

      • Barb_

        Nah, just get a pair of cargo pants from Old Navy.

  • prommie

    I like Bruce Springsteen's song about vagina, Pink Cadillac.
    "we don't have to drive it
    Honey we can park it out in back
    And have a party in your pink Cadillac"

    • FakaktaSouth

      I prefer his one about dicks, Cadillac Ranch –

      Long and dark shiny and black
      Open up your engines let `em roar

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I liked his earlier penis song:

        Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
        And straps your hands cross my engines.

        • prommie

          I also like his earlier vagina song, The River
          at night we'd go down to the river,
          and into the river we'd dive

      • prommie

        I saw him play The Clash's Black Cadillac, with Jacob Dylan's band, in a club in Long Branch –
        My baby drove off in a brand new Cadillac. . . .
        She ain't never coming back

  • Blueb4sinrise

    Is this Shining Path?
    Warm, Moist, Glistening Path?
    Fapatistas?

    • PubOption

      FARC?

      • BaldarTFlagass

        Shouldn't that be "queef"?

  • Boojum

    Neds moar Koch.

  • Beowoof

    Vaginas can be festive and fun, unless like Jase you go out of your to piss them off.

  • Ruhe

    Takes some pretty big stones to admit that you don't like vagina…well at least one big stone.

  • SorosBot

    Vaginas are for pooping out the babies, and nothing else!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Now everyone's going to be calling him "Va-Jay-Jase."

    • emmelemm

      Approve! Let's get that started!

    • calliecallie

      LOVE this. I can hardly wait to use it.

  • ph7

    Viva La Revolución!

    • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

      The Revolution will not be Ultrasounded

  • coolhandnuke

    There's a Detroit Red Wings joke in there somewhere.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Something about high sticking?

      • coolhandnuke

        Penalty box?

        • calliecallie

          Power play?

  • IncenseDebate

    Yam Sofa King Hui Toddit approved this message!

  • KeepFnThatOwl

    In this porch prank, the flaming bag of crap lives in the house!

  • freakishlywrong

    I love libruls and their sense of humor. Conservatives just don't get it. (nor do they get any vag)..

    • Katydid

      then why are there so goddammed many of them?

  • MissTaken

    Vagina – It's not a revolt, it's a revolution.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Maybe Ron Paul will have a chance in Tampa after all.

    • SorosBot

      Lysteria?

      • James Michael Curley

        By Aristophanes. But if Euripides you have to pay for them.

        • glasspusher

          Sit and spin?

  • gullywompr

    Mission Accomplished.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    someone needs to water that lawn.

    • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

      And trim it, too.

    • MoeDeLawn

      moe it furst.

  • PsycWench

    I love Laura Love. And she's a lesbian so she knows all about vaginas.

    • OzoneTom

      She's great. She did a concert in here a while back and I'm hoping that she returns soon.

  • http://wonkette.com OldWhiteLies

    Wait – what's the context – verbal or adverb? Are they revolting as in Dufus Bolger is revolted by them?

    Or are they revolting as in there's a revolution coming.

    • bobbert

      Yes?

    • emmelemm

      "Both."

      It works on levels, man. Levels.

    • SayItWithWookies

      As Bob Dylan said, "It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls" — so it's a revolution coming.

  • Mittens Howell, III

    They're only revolting when McCain picks them for VP.

  • mavenmaven

    "and mow your lawn"

    • MoeDeLawn

      Huh? Oh. Never mind.

  • KeepFnThatOwl

    Exterior shot…. anyone know if the carpet matches the curtain?

  • Beetagger

    Alt text needs work. Or is it meta?

  • FNMA

    To, once again, paraphrase Kent Brockman, I, for one, welcome our new vagina overlords.

    • tessiee

      Now I'm hearing the "Empire March" from Star wars.

      Ooh! Ooh! You guys!!
      OT but freaking awesome story:
      One of my former co-workers had his cell phone set up so that the "Empire March" was his ringtone… right?
      So, we're all in a staff meeting, and the mildly evil but mostly pain in the ass upper managment guy barges in… right?
      YES!!,
      Co-worker's phone rang, thereby playing the "Empire March"!!

      Seriously, how funny is that?

  • prommie

    Damn, he sings a lot about vaginas, and doing it, doesn't he?

    • FakaktaSouth

      Yes. Perhaps that has something to do with why he is one of my most favorites.

    • user-of-towels

      What about his song about evaluating sexual partners?

      He's making a list
      Checking it twice
      Gonna find out
      If you're naughty or nice.
      Santa Claus is coming to town!

    • just_a_head

      Like a Boss?

  • SmutBoffin

    Vaginas have infiltrated our society at every level! They are tempting Our Nation's menfolk away from the chaste pleasures of going to church and fighting in wars.

    I even have evidence that they are producing the majority of our children!

    • FNMA

      Let's go to Michele Bachmann: Hilary Clinton has several top aides who have vaginas and these vaginas have enormous…OH MY GOD HILARY CLINTON HAS A VAGINA!

      • SmutBoffin

        We're through the looking-glass, people.

  • KeepFnThatOwl

    His press release:

    My fellow Michiganders,

    Despite falsified remarks to the contrary, I love pussy.

    Warmly,
    Jase

  • Jus_Wonderin

    I believe I need a bit more information. Are these vaginas armed? Do I need protection? How many are there? And do I need to circle the wagons?

    • SmutBoffin

      If you find yourself confronted by a vagina, just remember these important safety guidelines:

      1) vaginas are easily startled; announce loudly "I AM A REPUBLICAN I HAVE AUTHORITY AND STUFF YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF ANTI-VAGINA LEGISLATION BEGONE"
      2) DON'T try to run; vaginas can move more rapidly on land than in the water
      3) if all else fails, offer the vagina what it wants (probably just some stimulation with lips and/or tongue fer chrissake)

  • coolhandnuke

    Laura Love is the "Carrie" Nation of vaginas. Go full prom on this douchenozzle.

  • Baconzgood

    Now that is a revolt I can really (wait for it) get into.

  • NYNYNYjr

    Jase is an unfortunate name. Is it a rotarded nick name, like Mitt?

    • Geminisunmars

      It is also short for Willard.

  • http://www.notfrisco.com/colmatales/norton/proclaim.html#declaration Joshua Norton

    Does the Right have a problem with "feminism" not because it emancipates women but because that must be the only reason why women won’t talk to/touch them?

    Sorry, just mumbling to myself…

  • Nostrildamus

    That guy's going to wake up one morning with a horse's vagina in his bed.

  • Ducksworthy

    What is also revolting is seeing him defiling that curling stone.

  • Tundra Grifter

    What is he planning to iron with that stone thingie?

    Did he borrow that from Wilma Flintstone?

  • http://www.indiegogo.com/revive-vlad Doktor Zoom

    This guy's just making a speculum of himself

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    what pray tell is a "jase"?

    • tessiee

      It's a variety of nutless sack.

  • zombiehunter101

    "My Vagine has TEETH and it knows how to use them" line from a movie i cant remember, but will NEVER forget the line!!

  • Biff

    I've been just this close >< to Laura Love's vagina, you guys!

  • tessiee

    Is Laura Love possessed by demons? Basically, that's impossible to diagnose.

  • TribecaMike

    "This is my stone, this is my gun. This is for curling, this is for fun."

  • elgin_pelican

    They should only be talked about in quiet rooms.

  • sati_demise

    When do the cops come and beat the crap out of her?

  • miss_grundy

    Fatboy Slim looks like he's never seen a vagina. Probably why he's so happy holding that curling thing….

  • FieryLocks

    VAGINA RIOT!!

  • DahBoner

    Vaginas are actually evolving into cup holders…

  • ttommyunger

    Typical clueless Rightard: totally ignores the Clit.