it's because they have teeth

Helpful Sign On Michigan Politician’s Porch Lets World Know How He Feels About Vag

Michigan Speaker of the House Jase BolgerMichigan Speaker of the House Jase Bolger has a well-known antipathy for vagina. He famously reprimanded two state representatives for defiling the sanctity of the state House floor by uttering the foul, anatomically correct word.

This week a militant, likely working with the ultra-radical Mike Hunt Liberation Front, struck back with a direct action against Bolger’s home. Basically, singer Laura Love hung a banner on his porch that says “Vaginas Are Revolting.”

The worst part is passersby might assume the sign was Bolger’s doing and perhaps the strangest coming out in the history of the world, but that is not the case. Jase Bolger did not hang this sign to let the world know that he personally finds vaginas revolting. Really, guys, he didn’t.


About the author

Jeff Wattrick is someone whose unsolicited submissions accidentally get published on Wonkette. He also writes for Deadline Detroit, which is this thing on the internet about the Motor City.

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    1. SorosBot

      More cunnilingus; less entitles douchebags who just get themselves off without caring for the vagina's pleasure.

    2. tessiee

      A tongue sangwich (often followed by a sausage sangwich), if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

  1. Barb_

    He made good use of his white sheet when he made his banner. Teabaggers choose to wear theirs.

    1. WhatTheHolyHeck

      There are regulations about who buys the beer. WRITTEN INTO THE RULE BOOK.

      There is no way any sport that requires certain parties to provide beer based on match eventualities can be construed as dumb.

  2. sbj1964

    Like a good Christian fundy he cut a whole in the sheet for sex on his wedding night.Girls have cooties!

    1. Jus_Wonderin

      I had to trim my long, and somewhat tangled comment. Sometimes, I can't see the forest for the trees.

  3. YasserArraFeck

    Jase is modelling the new Michigan State House-approved transvaginal ultrasound probe. That'll learn them 'bortion-seeking whores real good!!

  4. Barb_

    One of you guys should make your own banner.
    "I am not a Gynocologist, but let me go ahead and take a look at that for you"

  5. prommie

    I like Bruce Springsteen's song about vagina, Pink Cadillac.
    "we don't have to drive it
    Honey we can park it out in back
    And have a party in your pink Cadillac"

    1. FakaktaSouth

      I prefer his one about dicks, Cadillac Ranch –

      Long and dark shiny and black
      Open up your engines let `em roar

        1. prommie

          I also like his earlier vagina song, The River
          at night we'd go down to the river,
          and into the river we'd dive

      1. prommie

        I saw him play The Clash's Black Cadillac, with Jacob Dylan's band, in a club in Long Branch –
        My baby drove off in a brand new Cadillac. . . .
        She ain't never coming back

  6. Ruhe

    Takes some pretty big stones to admit that you don't like vagina…well at least one big stone.

  7. freakishlywrong

    I love libruls and their sense of humor. Conservatives just don't get it. (nor do they get any vag)..

    1. OzoneTom

      She's great. She did a concert in here a while back and I'm hoping that she returns soon.

  8. OldWhiteLies

    Wait – what's the context – verbal or adverb? Are they revolting as in Dufus Bolger is revolted by them?

    Or are they revolting as in there's a revolution coming.

    1. SayItWithWookies

      As Bob Dylan said, "It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls" — so it's a revolution coming.

    1. tessiee

      Now I'm hearing the "Empire March" from Star wars.

      Ooh! Ooh! You guys!!
      OT but freaking awesome story:
      One of my former co-workers had his cell phone set up so that the "Empire March" was his ringtone… right?
      So, we're all in a staff meeting, and the mildly evil but mostly pain in the ass upper managment guy barges in… right?
      Co-worker's phone rang, thereby playing the "Empire March"!!

      Seriously, how funny is that?

    1. user-of-towels

      What about his song about evaluating sexual partners?

      He's making a list
      Checking it twice
      Gonna find out
      If you're naughty or nice.
      Santa Claus is coming to town!

  9. SmutBoffin

    Vaginas have infiltrated our society at every level! They are tempting Our Nation's menfolk away from the chaste pleasures of going to church and fighting in wars.

    I even have evidence that they are producing the majority of our children!

    1. FNMA

      Let's go to Michele Bachmann: Hilary Clinton has several top aides who have vaginas and these vaginas have enormous…OH MY GOD HILARY CLINTON HAS A VAGINA!

  10. KeepFnThatOwl

    His press release:

    My fellow Michiganders,

    Despite falsified remarks to the contrary, I love pussy.


  11. Jus_Wonderin

    I believe I need a bit more information. Are these vaginas armed? Do I need protection? How many are there? And do I need to circle the wagons?

    1. SmutBoffin

      If you find yourself confronted by a vagina, just remember these important safety guidelines:

      2) DON'T try to run; vaginas can move more rapidly on land than in the water
      3) if all else fails, offer the vagina what it wants (probably just some stimulation with lips and/or tongue fer chrissake)

  12. Joshua Norton

    Does the Right have a problem with "feminism" not because it emancipates women but because that must be the only reason why women won’t talk to/touch them?

    Sorry, just mumbling to myself…

  13. Tundra Grifter

    What is he planning to iron with that stone thingie?

    Did he borrow that from Wilma Flintstone?

  14. zombiehunter101

    "My Vagine has TEETH and it knows how to use them" line from a movie i cant remember, but will NEVER forget the line!!

  15. miss_grundy

    Fatboy Slim looks like he's never seen a vagina. Probably why he's so happy holding that curling thing….

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