AFFLICT THE COMFORTABLE  3:00 pm June 22, 2012

Politico Writer Points Out Romney’s Caucasophilia, Loses Hunger Games-esque Battle For Dominance

by Josh Fruhlinger

This is a screenshot of a photo of an iPad app, which, just kill us nowSuckers who downloaded the new Huffington app-magazine-thing hoping for page after page of sideboob were bitterly disappointed to instead find some superlong expose about Politico, America’s number one morning-winning beltway-news-producing destroyer of worlds. The thing was written by Michael Calderon, whom ascended Wonkette deity Ken Layne once called “an actual pleasant human being we’ve actually dealt with on the telephone and in person,” so we’re going to believe that every word of it is true, especially the part about how life inside the Politico’s walled compound is essentially a gruesome, bloody battle to the death, just like in the hit children’s movie The Hunger Games. That sort of pressure may explain why a Politico reporter went a little off script and went on TV and said that Mitt Romney hated black people, or loved white people, which is basically the same thing, right?

Joe Williams is Politico’s White House correspondent, and this is the thing he said on one of the MSNBC panel shows where people scream at each other:

Romney is very, very comfortable it seems with people who are like him. That’s one of the reasons why he seems so stiff and awkward in some town hall settings, why he can’t relate to people other than that. But when he comes on Fox and Friends, they’re like him, they’re white folks who are very much relaxed in their own company.

So, uh, yeah, saying that Mitt Romney is more comfortable with people exactly like him, with one of those “like him” qualities being race, is not exactly the same as calling him a Klansman, we don’t think? See, one of the things about being white in America — about being part of a privileged majority generally — is that you can be in a racially homogeneous group and it seems totally natural! You’re the default! You don’t see the race of the people you hang out with! It’s cozy! But believe it or not, America does not entirely consist of white people (or even white people like the kind on Fox and Friends), which means that this comfort level could actually be something of a campaign liability.

And maybe this is something that an African-American reporter like Joe Williams (oh, did we mention he was black? Didn’t think we needed to, people that conservatives yell at for being racists are always black) would notice? But anyway everyone’s really mad about this (“everyone” = people on Breitbart.com) and now Politico has suspended Williams, to give him time to recover from prolonged exposure to Barack Obama’s black mind control rays.

The real question is: how does this fit into today’s insufferable inside-baseball revelations about the gladiatorial hellscape that is the Politico newsroom? Obviously Williams’ statement is part of some larger game to dominate his enemies within the organization, but we can’t figure if it’s a daring attack, like when Katniss tried to blow up the Careers’ food supply, or a desperate ploy, like when Katniss and Peeta threatened to kill themselves and embarrass the Capitol’s gamemakers (YEAH JUST PRETEND YOU DON’T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT NERDS).

Williams also made some dick jokes about the Romney’s on his Twitter, which is upsetting because that’s really more our thing. Also, the following video should put to rest the notion that Mitt Romney is anything less than 100 percent natural and spontaneous around black people:

[New York/Capital New York/Romenesko/More Romenesko/Breitbart]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 109 comments }

nounverb911 June 22, 2012 at 3:02 pm

Romney's white? I thought he was Messican.

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 3:05 pm

He's a White Messican, which is like a White Russian except you mix with tequila.

TribecaMike June 22, 2012 at 3:09 pm

And he comes with his own worm.

SayItWithWookies June 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

It goes great with cheesy grits.

NellCote71 June 22, 2012 at 8:10 pm

I love you guys.

Negropolis June 23, 2012 at 12:30 am

And, here I was thinking he was an alien. I feel so dumb.

Advn2rgirl June 23, 2012 at 9:02 am

He's an anchor baby.

DahBoner June 23, 2012 at 10:11 am

Only 2 kinds of people live in Utah.

Mormons and crazy.

Hence the expression, if you live in Utah and you ain't Mormon, you must be crazy…

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 3:04 pm

Politico, always willing to tell the truth…about the other guy.

nounverb911 June 22, 2012 at 3:05 pm

Needs more Arriana flavored Kool-Aid.

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Romeny saying "Who let the dogs out?" is a lot like Jame Gumb saying "Damn, I'm peeling!"

Indiepalin June 22, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Meanwhile, John Nolte's column, at Big Journalism sports a headline that says Politico's web traffic, because of their Obama bent, has plummeted recently, from 4.229 million to 4.165 million unique visitors during a recent period. That's a dip of one and one-half percent. Wow.

SayItWithWookies June 22, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Well see, there was an article somewhere (salon, maybe?) recently about Rmoney having a negative buzz — unlike the whackos of yesteryear, where you just had to put the name "Palin" in a headkline and it would get clicks, the opposite effect is happening with Romney.

So of course, in keeping with the Rovian strategy of using one's opponents strengths as his weakness, the GOP is projecting Romney's weakness onto — of all things — Politico. But this is the same party that gave Orrin Hatch the boot for being a RINO, so make as much sense of that as you will.

Indiepalin June 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm

And now that Breitbart story has been altered, removing the actual numbers and linking it to a story in the Daily Caller which puts the dip in traffic at 15%, or ten times what the story said originally. Gee, I just don't know WHO to believe!

Extemporanus June 22, 2012 at 3:52 pm
Guppy June 22, 2012 at 3:52 pm

That's the kind of math they don't teach in Leviticus.

NellCote71 June 22, 2012 at 8:12 pm

Kind of like Florida aggressively pursuing voter registration based on .00001 percent violations?

SayItWithWookies June 22, 2012 at 3:08 pm

Politico — finally exposed as the tool the liberals and gays and negros and such use to keep whitey down.

Callyson June 22, 2012 at 3:08 pm

The editor’s memo added that “Politico journalists have a clear and inflexible responsibility to cover politics fairly and free of partisan bias.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks, I needed that…

PuckStopsHere June 22, 2012 at 3:09 pm

This is not at all fair. Mitt isn't comfortable around anybody.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Mittens Liable!!! He always seems comfortable when He is on Fox and Hannity is licking his ass.

SorosBot June 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Now, he's comfortable around his fellow rich plutocrats.

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Their bank accounts are just the right height

Guppy June 22, 2012 at 3:52 pm

Anybody human, that is.

emmelemm June 22, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Also excluding: dogs, and horses.

SorosBot June 22, 2012 at 3:10 pm

As always, the big crime is always not pretending America has been racism free since 1964.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 22, 2012 at 3:31 pm

America has never been racist!!! Why, the Founders actually made a special section in the Constitution telling us just how special negros were!

Tyrannically_Joe June 22, 2012 at 4:48 pm

I mean, proof that America was never racist lies in the fact that the Founders Worked Tirelessly from Day 1 to free the slaves, it was just so very hard to set a public policy that they allegedly all agreed on, so the fact that it took two generations and the bloodiest war in American history to finally wrap that slavery issue up was really the best they could do, even though pretty much every other nation had abolished slavery earlier with far less bloodshed. But that was actually the Founders' plan all along, I guess?

Negropolis June 23, 2012 at 12:32 am

Also, remember, the Civil war wasn't about slavery, it was about states' rights!

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 23, 2012 at 2:06 am

Yeah….you did forget the one nod to America being racist once, the ever-present conservative (totally not racist or assholishly condescending) comeback "haven't we done ENOUGH for you people?" As if the '64 Civie Act and '65 Voting Rights Act (which officially ended racism FOREVER) somehow undid 400 years of damage like a flick of the wand. Nowadays with that particular wingnut truism in the minds of all right wingers they can confidently declare black people aren't oppressed (Republicans ended racism by the way, not those racist Democrats who just ya know…shepparded and signed the bill at their own peril) but instead "blahs are lazy" because racism, racial oppression and white privilege ended in '65 you see….I need to go lie down.

Callyson June 22, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Oh, and I love how, in the video, the girl in the black and pink jacket is not about to shake Mittens' hand after that "Who let the dogs out?" crap. Good for her…

OzoneTom June 22, 2012 at 3:12 pm

Haha, I saw this article then it disappeared from the front page.

jfruh June 22, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Your Editrix is picky about things like mispelling "hunger" in headlines.

SayItWithWookies June 22, 2012 at 3:36 pm

There was probably a big to-do at Wonkette World Headquarters about whether it was "a Hunger Games-esque Battle" or "an Hunger Games-esque Battle."

actor212 June 22, 2012 at 3:36 pm

"Huger" worked so much better tho!

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 22, 2012 at 3:53 pm

You know who else was picky about misspelling things?

Tyrannically_Joe June 22, 2012 at 4:50 pm

Adolph Hilter?

LetUsBray June 22, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Dan Quayle?

Negropolis June 23, 2012 at 12:32 am

Catholic school marms?

Guppy June 22, 2012 at 3:55 pm

She won't be publishing anything by Pamela Geller any time soon, then?

NellCote71 June 22, 2012 at 8:14 pm

Bravo/a.

Chill_Bill June 22, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Mitt had the Blah vote in the bag, but this changes everything.

DrunkIrishman June 22, 2012 at 3:28 pm

Romney is more awkward than I was going through puberty.

SayItWithWookies June 22, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Like many church leaders, Rmoney is still going through puberty — just not his own.

Chet Kincaid June 22, 2012 at 5:27 pm

But in Romney's puberty, he enjoyed nothing more than pinning down saucily-coiffed homosexuals.

mormos June 22, 2012 at 5:52 pm

that's funny, because I enjoyed being pinned by saucily-coiffed homosexuals. Clearly we have a lot in common.

NellCote71 June 22, 2012 at 8:17 pm

Then get a room, you two.

not that Radio June 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

It's been posted on these pages before, but it bears repeating.

Straight White Male: the Lowest Difficulty Setting There Is

M. Bouffant June 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Seems like a perfectly reasonable statement, considering that Mr. & Mrs. Mittens said they only want to hang out w/ their painfully white children & grandchildren.

Lionel[redacted]Esq June 22, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Are they going to update the .mp3 file on Romney to something within the last decade?

DerrickWildcat June 22, 2012 at 3:34 pm

I am only nice to white folks if they have something I want.

Joshua Norton June 22, 2012 at 3:36 pm

That’s one of the reasons why he seems so stiff and awkward in some town hall settings, why he can’t relate to people

This is because, for Willard Romney, the world is divided into two kinds of people: Willard Romney and The Help.

dogscantlookup June 22, 2012 at 3:37 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2qasexk_Bs

Everyone who talked to Mitt said afterwards

gullywompr June 22, 2012 at 3:37 pm

"Dick jokes about the Romney"

Dang Josh, redundant much?

randcoolcatdaddy June 22, 2012 at 3:38 pm

I don't know what he's talking about. Romney's perfectly comfortable with the people who take care of his lawn, wash his car, drive him around, wipe up his drool when he tries to think what a donut is….

BarackMyWorld June 22, 2012 at 3:39 pm

I wonder how he'll be during the debates, when there's a negro on stage with him….

Chick-Fil-Atheist™ June 22, 2012 at 3:43 pm

He'll check to make sure his wallet is in his jacket. Several times.

Cicada June 22, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Herman Cain is crying right now. He was the Great Black Hope, dammit. Now everyone has forgotten he even existed.

mavenmaven June 22, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Stiff.

RavenRant June 22, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Until you unzip him. Princess Ann has assured us, he's never stiff when you unzip him.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 22, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Romney: "That Barack is surprisingly clean and articulate you know, for a president. "

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 23, 2012 at 2:15 am

Two thoughts on how that will all go down: A) Romney will have horse blinders on making it impossible for him to look directly at Barry and
B) It will be sort of like invasion of the body snatchers only instead of yelling "ahhhhhhh!" in that high pitch alien voice Mittens will yell "bllllaaaahhhhH!" while pointing his bony finger at Obama, this will occur the moment Barry slams him and his comeback protocols can't respond quickly enough. Interestingly, this is the way Santorum, Gingrich, Paul and Rove all handle close encounters of the blah kind…I think they may all come from the same cruel planet…need Alex Jones to get on this one.

Schmannnity June 22, 2012 at 3:40 pm

In the video, why didn't Romney fake getting pinched on the ass by the black woman?

jacimi June 22, 2012 at 3:40 pm

At least he didn't bring up Romney's aversion to vaginas.

RavenRant June 22, 2012 at 3:42 pm

With all the dog whistles and incendiary crap on the Politico, this gets Joe Williams a suspension? White people's imperviousness to shame floors me. And, yes, I'm of the pasty persuasion.

*sigh*

bobbert June 23, 2012 at 1:46 am

It's Politico Jake Raven.

RavenRant June 23, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Thanks. Lowering my expectations accordingly.

smokefilledroommate June 22, 2012 at 3:43 pm
TribecaMike June 22, 2012 at 3:53 pm

Reading #133 brought on a fit of the chuckles. Thanks.

Tyrannically_Joe June 22, 2012 at 5:01 pm

Most of those are great, but #11 definitely veers into asshole rant territory.

I think I first met my now-girlfriend when she posted online an incensed tirade against that item. Not that I can blame her, I'd be pretty angry too, if someone described me as "atheistically [sic] pleasing, but very annoying".

Chet Kincaid June 22, 2012 at 5:13 pm

It's not really stuff white people like, it's stuff that hipper-than-thou white people like to accuse those they consider bourgeois and faux-hipster of liking.

Tyrannically_Joe June 22, 2012 at 5:21 pm

Which is why, ironically, stuffwhitepeoplelike.com probably deserves an entry for itself on that list.

Chet Kincaid June 22, 2012 at 5:34 pm

haha

Butch_Wagstaff June 22, 2012 at 5:24 pm

I hate over half of the things on the the list. Guess I'm not as white as I thought.

DahBoner June 23, 2012 at 10:18 am

I'm part White, but I can't prove it (no papers)…

mavenmaven June 22, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Wasn't it Ann Romney who said Mitt should "let his dogs out"?

poorgradstudent June 22, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I assume Romney's less awkward around the non-rich when he's hunting poors on his island compound.

Extemporanus June 22, 2012 at 3:44 pm

I caught the entire segment in which Joe "Mama!" Williams went all gangsta (i.e. explained reality in calm, measured, banal terms), and immediately thought to myself, "OH SNAP!! Dude's gonna get an earful back at the POLITI-cave!"

The fact that his particular comment jumped out at me in a four person conversation where each of the other conversants also used words such as "white", "black", "people", and "the" can only mean one thing: I am a horribly horrible racist who is entirely too familiar with the intra-office goings-on of a morning wood-sporting online political troll factory, and thus deserve to only have one friend in the whole wide world, with that friend being a cat.

(It is a black cat, yo! Does that count?)

Doktor Zoom June 22, 2012 at 3:45 pm

Mitt Romney has always played the game on the lowest difficulty setting.

(See also the Followup and the followup to the followup)

Actually, never mind. Mitt Romney has always PAID someone to play the game for him on the lowest difficulty setting.

RavenRant June 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

White person + penis + inherited wealth + inherited political connections + prestigious ivy league education on the family's dime = It's hard out there for a twit.

(BTW, loved the Scalzi piece and his followups. He does a good job of explaining the obvious to the oblivious.)

not that Radio June 22, 2012 at 11:49 pm

Jinx! You owe me a framed Breitbart print.

MissTaken June 22, 2012 at 3:46 pm

Romney would not be comfortable in a tree with Rue.

Tyrannically_Joe June 22, 2012 at 5:14 pm
Lucidamente1 June 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Speaking of the one and only Mr. Layne, let's link back to his immortal smackdown of Politico:

http://wonkette.com/414964/explosive-article-abou

Best quote:

Even lazy-ass Jim Newell, who writes comedy for Wonkette, posted his version of the Gregory Craig/Goldman story [something Politico was flogging as a "scoop"] a whole 10 hours before the magic Playbook email went out to a loathsome group of Beltway people who so hate their spouses that they need to scan Mike Allen’s Best of the Web links before saying “Good morning” or “Let’s get a divorce.”

MosesInvests June 22, 2012 at 3:47 pm

Who indeed allowed the canines egress?

Extemporanus June 22, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Whom? Whom, whom, whom?

Chet Kincaid June 22, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Who indeed scheduled my photo-op with these canine negresses?
–Translated.

Blueb4sunrise June 22, 2012 at 3:52 pm

…America does not entirely consist of white people….

THE REELZ AMERIIKKAKK DUZ!!!!

Chet Kincaid June 22, 2012 at 5:24 pm

Syrup of Amerikak is a remarkably effective emetic.

BigSkullF*ckingDog June 22, 2012 at 3:59 pm

This must be why I'm soooo uncomfortable around douchebags.

Wadisay June 22, 2012 at 4:00 pm

When Romney hugs the Black girl with his left hand, he vigorously pats his thigh with his right hand. That's the same thing I do when I am getting a vaccination.

bobbert June 23, 2012 at 2:00 am

Is that like Bush wiping himself off on Clinton's shirt?

Wadisay June 22, 2012 at 4:05 pm

Q. Just out of curiosity, if you are a journalist who believes that a candidate is really, really twitchy around anyone but rich, old white men, how do you say that in a way acceptable to Politico's editorial geniuses?

A. Begin the sentence with, "Though not as comfortable as Obama seems around rouge preachers and Marxist pseudo-intellectuals,…"

Chet Kincaid June 22, 2012 at 4:49 pm

Look at what happened to Juan Williams. Clearly, the lesson is that black journalists should not discuss anything having to do with anyone being "comfortable" or "nervous."

Chet Kincaid June 22, 2012 at 4:54 pm

What the fuck did he say on his twitter? Did anybody save that?

Chet Kincaid June 22, 2012 at 4:58 pm

So let me get this straight, Arianna is skimming the curd off the top of Huffpo with an iPad, and wants to charge people for it? Perhaps she should be charged with aggravated aggregation.

bobbert June 23, 2012 at 2:01 am

Perhaps she should be ignored?

Tyrannically_Joe June 22, 2012 at 5:16 pm

To be fair, it was also pretty clear from the way he said "people who are like him" that he didn't mean that Mittens is a racist, per se. Mittens is also insanely awkward and uncomfortable when he's around literally anybody who works for a living.

imissopus June 22, 2012 at 11:25 pm

Or any carbon-based life forms.

Chet Kincaid June 22, 2012 at 5:31 pm

Good God, what if he had gone on "Morning Joe" and calmly explained the beliefs and responsibilities of a bishop in the Mormon Church? They would have tied him to a tree and given him a choice of keeping his dick or his writin' hand.

mormos June 22, 2012 at 5:46 pm

"But believe it or not, America does not entirely consist of white people"

REAL 'murka consists entirely of white people. I want my country back!

LetUsBray June 22, 2012 at 9:00 pm

But it's still okay to say the negro president hates white people, right?

Come here a minute June 22, 2012 at 9:36 pm

So unfair to play that video as if Mitt is unaware of current trends in Urban music. That was from long ago, the 2008 campaign. The song was only eight years old!

TribecaMike June 22, 2012 at 9:37 pm

I read this twice and I have absolutely no idea what the fuck it's about.

Anyway, does this bar stool make me look too short?

Negropolis June 23, 2012 at 12:43 am

You see, Blahs are the real racists.

TribecaMike June 23, 2012 at 12:54 am

I'll attempt to do you one better, my friend. The real real racists are presently residing on 145 Smoot Drive, Pleasantville, Any State USA, and they're all cops who take the condition of their deck umbrellas much more seriously than they do the civil rights of those they're sworn to protect and serve.

Willardbot9000_V2.5 June 23, 2012 at 2:19 am

This is that same cute game of "racist coy" Republicans always like to play; we saw this with the teabaggers. Even though Stormfront and other bigoted sites called the teabaggers fertile ground to recruit to their disgusting ideology all claims of racist, drunken white people were completely fabricated. Oh, and someone needs to go remind the Breitfarters that Breitfart is still dead….they need this daily, every single hour until that fucking site finally changes its name.

ttommyunger June 24, 2012 at 3:18 pm

This would be more credible if Politico wasn't Cheney's personal mouthpiece, which it is.

MissNancyPriss July 14, 2012 at 6:55 pm

Robots don't see color.

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