new benedict arnolds

James O’Keefe’s Traitorous Former Collaborators Betray Each Other, Like A Bunch Of Traitors

Some dudeIt’s an all-out Mutant War! Nadia Naffe — the conservative activist who accused America’s last serious journalist, James
O’Keefe, of unlawful imprisonment and intimated he drugged and tried to rape her in his parents’ barn — has joined forces with convicted bomber and librul Brett Kimberlin to publish a massive stockpile of O’Keefe’s emails.

While JOK hasn’t been remotely fazed by the first salvo in their merged vendetta, already there has been major collateral damage. The first wave of published emails partially exposed the identity of James O’Keefe’s turncoat NPR sting collaborator, who had been operating under the pseudonym Simon Templar, but whom everyone will now know by
his real name, Kenneth C. Larrey. Laaaaaahhhh-rrey.

Your trustworthy Wonkettes can guarantee this is true, because we figured it out and brought it up with Ken Larrey months ago, over the phone. Don’t hate us for keeping it secret! Selfish jerk Ken Vogel at Politico has been hiding this scoop from you for even longer! So has hack pundit emeritus Howard Kurtz! Hate those guys!

This whole sordid episode feels like one of those big crossover comic book events where (say) evil Red Hulk and Catwoman team up to go after Zangief from Street Fighter — by which we mean it feels incredibly convoluted, plus silly, and of interest only to total nerd-weenises. But isn’t that what you are? Political Schadenfreude Nerd-Weenises, who have already clicked the “Read More” about this? Let’s get started, then.

Brett Kimberlin, you may recall, is a former drug dealer and accomplished musician, whose 1978 bombing spree in Speedway, Illinois Indiana wasn’t even political, just fucking weird. He has since transformed himself into an influential progressive activist and lawyer, becoming this election cycle’s Bill Ayers thanks to unproven allegations that he prank called 911 to initiate SWAT team raids on the homes of two conservative bloggers. (Today’s with-it Reagan Youths call this practice SWATting. It’s short for “Special Weapons and Tactics”-ing.)

Prior to her falling out with O’Keefe, Nadia Naffe had played a role in several of his aborted undercover-video nasties. She’s spoken candidly about her involvement in schemes to shame Congresswoman Maxine Waters and, over a year later, NYU journalism professor Charles Seife and the Occupy movement. Your Wonkettes have personally dug up emails implicating Naffe in still more of JOK’s lost stings, including an attempt to target Boston-area ACORN employees during the 2010 Brown v. Coakley Senate race. The plan involved Nadia and other minority actors soliciting advice on “who to vote for” from ACORN employees, and you may not believe this, but James O’Keefe intended to secretly record it all.

So now, Naffe has provided all of her Project Veritas-related emails to the Velvet Revolution: an electronic voting reform supergroup, co-founded by Slash from Guns’n’Roses and Stone Temple Pilot frontman Scott Weiland Brett Kimberlin and Brad Blog Blogger Brad Friedman. In collaboration with the group Occupy for Accountibility (OFA), the Velvet Revolution (Why are you still laughing at their name?) say they will be “breaking stories, here and in other publications, based on these documents as they relate to matters in the public interest.”

If their first story is any indication, though, they either don’t have much or are planning an epically slow roll. The groups have started by publishing documents of a plot, instigated by Ken Larrey, to covertly infiltrate Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s Trinity United Church for the purpose of goading him and others into saying nice things about Marxist revolution. As with the NPR videos, the plan was to offer donations in exchange for something, this time the church’s role in a Glorious People’s Revolt, thus exposing Trinity United’s viciously literal reading of Christianity and the leftist core of its famous former congregant: one Barry Hussein “Red Diaper Baby” Obama, President of America.

So, as a sting plan, we can politely say that it is very creative. The prop list of costume jewelry for the Canadian Marxist Banker characters Ken Larrey and his NPR video partner Shaughn Adeleye were planning to wear is especially wonderful. “Flashy gold watches.” A single “magnetic gold earring (Bill Ayers Style).” As the subject of an expose, we are sorry to report that this two-year-old, abandoned, hidden camera prank relates only tangentially to the public interest.

It feels like a genuine shame that this mediocre scoop is going to cause such a deep rift in the tiny coalition of conscientious defectors from James O’Keefe’s Project Veritas. Naffe had hoped to leak this material anonymously — OFA redacted her name from the emails and described her solely as “a whistleblower”—however, they kept in so much context about the Maxine Waters sting as to make her role in the leak fairly obvious.

Even if they’d done a better job, a warily proud Ken Larrey contacted us almost immediately after reading their post to explain Nadia’s role. When we asked if he was concerned about the exposure, Larrey typed, “not especially yet, I was actually quite fond of that plan lol.”

Though now that he’s being mercilessly mocked on Twitter as we speak, by the small clique of Occupiers who have resorted to bullying as means of confirming his secret identity, Larrey says he “Probably should be.” In a gchat conversation with us yesterday, Larrey (maybe jokingly?) expressed his fear that he, or his parents, may become victims of a genuine SWATting! “Technically that’s probably the worst that could happen, [but] I wouldn’t expect them to do it to me. I’m not blogging about Kimberlin.”

Pity poor Ken Larrey, an electrical engineer from Houston, who really just wants to be left alone to occasionally write for BigGovernment.com, retweet photos of Dana Loesch’s new pink heels, and maybe, one day, mastermind a big undercover sting all his own. We could blame Naffe, or OFA, but we know who’s really to blame: Stupid gloryhogging James O’Keefe for generally being bad with women and taking credit for Ken Larrey’s hard work!

Ken Larrey built that MEAC website all by himself! It was Ken Larrey who grew a beard and dyed his hair to pose as a scary Muslim for the NPR videos — just like Simon Templar, the superspy Roger Moore played on TV’s The Saint! As he told us back in February, Ken Larrey even dropped out of a college course that conflicted with the (expensive, self-funded) trips he made up to D.C. to meet with NPR executives Ron Schiller and Betsey Liley!

Ken Larrey did all this AND he came out publicly and let us all know that he and Adeleye wanted to do a larger, less partisan version of this Muslim Brotherhood sting, only to have James O’Keefe hijack it as a rightwing crusade against NPR!!!

Socialist Twitter Bullies, leave Ken Larrey alone!1!!!

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Comments

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  • nounverb911

    Do you guys are paid by the word, like Dickens was?

    • OzoneTom

      There were two of them writing so it makes sense that it is twice as long as the usual article.

    • Isyaignert

      Lawyers used to get paid by the word – that's where the saying "Fifty cent word" came from heretoforthwith.

    • TribecaMike

      Only Uriah Heep O' Shite knows for sure.

    • NYNYNYjr

      This shits so complicated it took two people to write it, like a Washington Post story or something. Reads more like Finnegan's Wake tho… Also can we call Okeefe The JOKe or the JOKer?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      As long as they're not paid by are 'grammar'.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      It's all in the details, see, and this story is nothing but details. It's a tiny, tiny world these operatives live in, and we Wonkazis sometimes spend way too much time gazing into the microscope.

      Ergo, these column inches.

  • Barb

    This should quell O'Keefe's yen for toilet wine and prison commissary Little Debbie snacky cakes. Enjoy prison, sucker!

    Excellent reporting, thanks!

    • badgitator

      I think O'Keffe's prison experiences will eerily resemble those of Gob.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        He'll be smacked?

        • nomadicview

          so his bitch name's "Little Debby"?

          • Fare la Volpe

            "Ding Dong."

      • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

        No butts about it.

      • not that Radio

        "There's a hard cot here with his name on it"

        • Fare la Volpe

          And a harder something else.

  • http://www.wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    No honor among young conservitard rat fuckers.

  • Beetagger

    That's some mighty thick prose you got there.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      "It's twoo! It's twoo!"

  • DaSandman

    Young O'Keefe is gunning to become Ghost Young O'Keefe.

    • nounverb911

      Breitbart's saving a seat for him.

      • badgitator

        On his lap.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          On SATAN's lap.

        • Fare la Volpe

          Oh you nasty.

      • tessiee

        "Breitbart's saving a seat for him."

        Yeah, HIS.
        (_|_)

        • redarmyzombie

          I find this difficult to masturbate to.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Breitbart will find it even harder more difficult.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      May his hopes be fulfilled!

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Which fantasy artwork do you think conservative hack and Thomas Kinkade wannabee David Bugnon would rip off to memorialize Little Jimmy O'Keefe? I'm thinking he'd avoid ripping off Ubisoft and go for something more classic, like shopping O'Keefe's head on to this poster.

      • flamingpdog

        The one with boobs or the one with bug-eyes?

        • Wile E. Quixote

          It would work either way, that's the beauty of it.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I'll be damned. You're right.

  • badgitator

    Still a better love story than Twilight. Probably due to O'Keffe's swagga.

    • Steverino247

      Are you kidding? My colonoscopy was a better love story than Twilight.

      • badgitator

        Your colonoscopy did have more depth to it.

        • Dashboard Buddha

          But it was shitty in places, I bet.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Which was WAY better than Twilight, which was shitty throughout.

            Trust me, before they do a colonoscopy on you they make you CLEAN those tubes OUT. If you've ever had a Fleet's enema, you'll know what I mean.

            They even note it on your chart. How embarrassing is that? You get to see pitchers of your pink, clean little colon.

          • Dashboard Buddha

            Sounds like an activity I'll put off for a while longer.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Long as you can, bub. It is NOT fun. On the PLUS side, you don't have to do one till you're in your 50s, maybe even 60. After that, they make you do them every X years.

          • Dashboard Buddha

            I guess I'm kinda on borrowed time then. Just turned 51 not too long ago.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, sh … I mean, er … you're a vegetarian, right? Stick with a high-fiber diet, dood, you can't go wrong. That is to say, you can't "go" … oh, fuck it.

          • Dashboard Buddha

            No worries…I eat way more vegetable matter than meat. Plus, I'm so regular you could set a watch by me. (sorry ya'll, I realize that's prolly more than you want to know)

          • George Skullfry

            Don't wait too long. I had my first at 55, and while there was none cancer, there were 8 and 9 mm polyps just getting ready.

            The thing is, this is the only common cancer you can actually guarantee you won't get. The sedatives are pretty good, too.

          • James Michael Curley

            Same stuff Michael Jackson was shooting up every day.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            George Spelvin Skullfry, is that you?

          • HistoriBarb

            Last week the doc told me the new guidelines are 45 … and he wanted me to get an early start. Fuck.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Oh, man. I had my first done at age 50, and they told me they needed to check me *early* because of a relative's colon cancer. Why are they lowering the age? Oh, hell, why not? Now you Yungz will understand why us Oldz are always so crabby.

          • HistoriBarb

            I blame Obama.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Yeah, me too. He's good for it.

          • http://krisbunda.com/blog/index.php Designer_Radio

            Why is Obama politicizing your colonoscopy?

          • HistoriBarb

            Because he's an anti-colonialist, socialistic Nazi. Duh.

          • http://www.wonkette.com BelleSC

            My mother died of colon cancer. I told my doc I bet I am the only person who ever walked into his office asking for a colonoscopy.

            The prep is a BITCH. Poop your brains out all night because you drank a nasty liquid. Then do a "final rinse cycle" with a Fleets enema. I almost kissed the nurse who started the IV and pushed some meds into my vein.

            I was alert enough before the procedure started to momentarily watch the nurse checking her email and surf the web before the doctor came into the procedure room. Who cares if the patient quits breathing or falls off the table? I gotta check my mail!

          • James Michael Curley

            I have a high resistance to anesthesia and started to wake up during the procedure and I thought I heard the doctors and nurses were complaining about how bad Obama Care would be. I don't think that was the case. I think they were watching Fox News since there was TV above the operating table and all I could see was a big asshole.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I'm so sorry about your mom. My mother had it too, and stopped the treatment halfway, and went on to make a full recovery and live another 30 years to annoy me.

            I have a friend who stays conscious throughout the entire procedure. I can't imagine a worse fate. Nature put our assholes at the opposite end from our eyes for a reason, no?

          • Steverino247

            That's true. Something like "proper preparation noted" goes in your chart. Now, I don't know if R. Lee Ermey would think it was clean enough, but my doctor did. (http://www.hark.com/clips/xnpbfbdgkp-the-virgin-mary-herself-would-be-proud-to-go-in-there-and-take-a-dump)

          • flamingpdog

            Needz to fix teh linkie.

          • flamingpdog

            And the way they suggest you position yourself when you give yourself the Fleet Enema, you better hope Marcus B doesn't walk into the room at the same time.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Man, pdog, I don't know about you, but when I administer one of them puppies, I kick EVUHbody out the house and lock ALL the fucking doors. You don't want NOBODY walking in on you while you're pooping your lungs out, never mind the position.

          • tessiee

            Who position? What position?
            I had to swallow some stuff that tasted worse than anything — yes, worse than Diet Pepsi! — and made me, um, that is, it had a laxative effect. That was bad enough, but I didn't have to assume any positions until it came time to, um, that is, take the actual pictures.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Yeah, long before they have to do any probing, I'm passed out from that Verced? Versed? Twilight? stuff that they shoot you up with. The last thing I remember from the last one was telling the nurse she was pinching my hand. I never heard her reply, but they had to keep shaking me to wake me up and wouldn't let me leave without a Designated Driver.

          • not that Radio

            Some pharm manufacturer with a sadistic sense of humor named the substance Golytely

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            It's *other* name is PEG-ES. These people are avid readers of Dan Savage AND sadists.

          • not that Radio

            Polyethylene glycol. I know it well. In addition to its utility as a colon-cleanser, it enjoys a wide variety of industrial uses.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Thank you, my dear little Radio Encyclopedia. I always feel like I learned something whenever I speak with you.

          • George Skullfry

            I go to a motel.

      • Wile E. Quixote

        I hope that the sequels to your colonoscopy are fewer and farther between than sequels to Twilight.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          There will be sequels?

          I'm gonna go for suicide by cop. That's *bound* to be less painful.

      • Wile E. Quixote

        I hope that you didn't show up at the wrong time and ended up having to get of those new 3-D colonoscopies that costs 50 percent more than the regular 2-D version that started 30 minute earlier.

      • not that Radio

        How did I miss a 30+ comment thread about colonoscopies? I'm 43, and I've had two. I got to keep copies of the laproscope photos of my colon polyps, which I've considered using as an avatar pic.

        We need to have some kind of comment-indexing, for example:

        For a discussion of colonoscopies, please go to badgitator's comment about Twilight.

        For a discussion of fashion happy mutants mask Sex Steampunk Ukraine, please see Blueb4sunrise's comment about C_R_Eature.

        etc.

        That would make navigation so much more ergonomic.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          You're awfully young to have had multiple colonoscopies, sweetie.

          I hope to goodness you will now proceed to tell us it was a fluke and everything is just fine and dandy with your colon. My mother had colon cancer. It's one of the indolent cancers. Slow-growing and possible to survive.

          • not that Radio

            I used to consume great quantities of some substance that had a rather antagonistic effect on my colon. I had several diverticulitis attacks over a 3-year period. Mysteriously, I haven't had this problem in the last year or so. Family history, too — mother, sister, uncle, grandfather.

            But I think I've got that colon licked!

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            So glad to hear that. I want to be sure, when the Zombie Apocalypse comes, that I will be able to consume those portions of you that, you know, you won't be *needing* or anything. (Hugs ntR)

          • not that Radio

            I'm still hoarding sick time in case I need that eventual colon resection. You're welcome to anything that's leftover. I've got almost enough sick time to last until Long Term Disability kicks in, at least until Operation TeaParty Layoffs of All Government Workers is complete and takes all that away. In which case, I may want to keep that 9" of diseased colon.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Dude! I have dibs on the LEG! THE LEG!

            I SO do not do colon.

          • not that Radio

            Of course. You still get the leg. But I though you might enjoy some Dewey Chitterlings on the side.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            No, man, I tried menudo, but it's just not me. The leg, OTOH, should do fine boned, rolled, and stuffed with maybe risotto and nuts cooked in lemon juice, olive oil, and saffron.

            I know, I know. Hobo Beans(tm) days are ahead and I'm thinkin' recipes, shame on me.

            Just remember, if it's turnabout, and it's MY leg, you can identify it by the four-inch scar down the knee. Don't eat the knee.

    • OkieDokieDog

      All I can think of regarding O'Keefe is Dildo boat.

      Dildo, exciting and new
      Come aboard, we're expecting you
      Dildo, life's sweetest reward
      Let it flow, it floats back to you

      Dildo Boat soon will be making another run
      The Dildo Boat promises something for everyone
      Set a course for the gutter
      Your mind on a new scandal

      And dildo won't hurt anymore
      It's a smirky smile on a hostile shore
      It's dildo
      Welcome aboard
      It's dildo!

      Apologies to Paul Williams & The Love Boat

      • flamingpdog

        I think Paul Williams and The Love Boat owe us apologies, for existing.

    • tessiee

      "Still a better love story than Twilight."

      Setting the bar low, are we? I could eat alphabet soup and fart a better love story than Twilight.

  • Callyson

    Jesus, we need one of Glenn Beck's psycho blackboard graphics to keep up with the shenanigans of these freaks…

  • OkieDokieDog

    My local PBS station aired the 2010 Documentary – The Reconstruction of Asa Carter this week. I swear I saw James O'Keefe interviewing Asa Carter. Please investigate this. James may very well be a real life Dorian Gray.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Cobra Commander had less ridiculous evil schemes than this.

  • sewollef

    Crikey, could you guys make this a synopsis instead of a novel…. I've got Euro 2012 to watch this weekend!

    • http://wonkette.com/ weejee

      Have you had a chance to grab a look at Roddy Doyle's "A Star Named Henry" yet?

      • sewollef

        I actually put the book on my Amazon 'wish list' for my birfday… which is in September.

        I'm pretty certain to get it, since I also put a new 27 inch iMac [avec all the bells and whistles] and of course the usual Audi S4.

        It's a cunning plan.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          It certainly is.

  • JustPixelz

    Be sure to edit out all the exculpatory emails, if there are any.

  • GhostBuggy

    "But isn’t that what you are? Political Schadenfreude Nerd-Weenises, who have already clicked the 'Read More' about this?"

    Thank you, Editrix, may I have another?

  • Estproph

    Simon Templar? Seriously? What, was James Bond taken?

    • tessiee

      As was "Elvis Jagger".

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        So was Reagan McAwesome.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      The Belmonts were full.

  • nomadicview

    Wake me up when one of the eats somebody's face.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Why? That's not even *news,* anymore.

  • chascates

    Every time O'Keefe is exposed as a liar Breitbart gets pitchforked by a devil.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Or, better yet, anally reamed by Satan's enormous, barbed schlong. AIEEEEEEE!!!

    • Guppy

      He probably likes it, though.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Guppy, man, you TOTALLY harshed my mellow. (sniff!)

        • BoatOfVelociraptors

          So he burnt the Crème brûlée?

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Not mallow, dude.

    • glamourdammerung

      Every time O'Keefe is exposed as a liar Breitbart gets pitchforked by a devil.

      Is that a euphemism for some form of sodomy?

      • Fare la Volpe

        Stick hot sauce on a dildo and find out.

        • redarmybarbie

          Thus giving new life to the term, "Warming Lube".

    • NYNYNYjr

      I think everytime J-OK is exposed the devil gives Breitbart a werther's original. But we all interpret the Bible differently.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I'm sure Jeremiah Wright's church would've welcomed, in a trusting and open-armed way, a couple of twitchy, shifty-eyed, pasty white conservatives who definitely didn't look like they were using hidden cameras as they tried to coax something crazy out of Mr. Wright.

    O'Keefe and his minions are actually lucky this plan never came to fruition, or the next thing we'd've heard about them was their being found in a dumpster, duct-taped together and being gnawed on by rats.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      You really know how to throw cold water ALL OVER a person, Wooks.

      I was just hoping that the next time we heard about JOK, he'd be found in a dumpster, duct-taped to one of his myrmidons, and being gnawed on by rats. (sniff! Wipes a manly tear)

      • Fare la Volpe

        Honey chile, please. When have you had a manly anythang?

        *pats weave*

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Don't make me test the strength of that weave, sweetpea. You'll be all, "But I just got mah hair DID!"

    • nomadicview

      I am sure they would have avoided detection with some Al Jolson blackface and a pimp jacket.

    • flamingpdog

      Come on, gnawed on by rats? Even rats have a certain amount of taste.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Wolverines? I could go for wolverines.

        • Fare la Volpe

          Tapeworms.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Uh … eugh. That could take a LONG time.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        How else do they find the salty ones?

    • Doktor Zoom

      Note to novice political dirty tricksters: The term "Ratfucking" is purely metaphorical. Please do not actually…oh, for christ's sake, O'Keefe, get your dick out of that rat!

      • tessiee

        Or at least take it out on a couple of dates first.

        • Wile E. Quixote

          Jesus Jimmy, take that fucked up shit out of here and do it on your goddamned rape boat for Christ's sake.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            And don't forget the salt! Make sure it's Kosher!

      • cheetojeebus

        They like it when you pull their tail when you're given it to em rat style.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        If anybody would, he would.

  • barto

    On Noes! Why would people with so much Luv to share wind up backstabbing and being nasty 'n stuff? Jeebus cries…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Jesus WEPT, man. Totally fucking WEPT.

      • flamingpdog

        He walked on tears!

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Specific gravity of salt water, man.

          • BoatOfVelociraptors

            If anyone were to rock the dead sea…

  • Tommmcattt

    HEY! Nerd-wennises need love too, mean Matt and Liz! Now if you will excuse me I will be over here in my Spider-Man Jammies, reading Swamp Thing and drinking coffee out of my Sin City mug…

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I'm tellin' ya. What do they think, if we HAD lives we'd read their stuff?

      Be grateful, Wonketz, that we are NERD-WEENISES! Without a life, even.

  • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

    I just want to gloat over how aptly Nedra or Nadia or whatever is surnamed: NAFF? NAFF?

    • e_z

      Pip Pip!

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Toodle-oo!

  • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

    Wait, what?

    Jeremiah Wright retired in early 2008 also, young conservative dickheads.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      You expect these shit-fer-brainzes to let go of one of their favourite bugbears? Shit, they're still raving about Saul Alinsky, and (1) he's been dead for DECADES, and (2) hardly any lefties have even *heard* of the guy.

      • glamourdammerung

        I never heard of Alinsky prior to the Retard-Americans shrieking about how I was following his marching orders. This made even less sense when I finally looked up who he was and realized he had been dead for a while. But then again, socialist ghosts would actually be more plausible than most of the other stupidity Republicans believe.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Me either, and, you know, most of us here are avid readers and know lots of stuff, like books and history and all those things. I had never ever heard of the guy, and neither had most of my "red-diaper-baby" friends.

          • Butch_Wagstaff

            I found out about him when I was 19 through an older activist friend of mine but I haven't actually read any thing by him till this day.

            When the RW gets around to accusing Obama of being a believer in Peter Kropotkin's ideas, I'll truly be impressed.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Now, see, I know who Kropotkin is. But Alinsky?

          • Fare la Volpe

            I'd heard of him before, but in the same context that someone would talk about Robert and his Rules of Order: years and years ago he wrote a book on political organizing and it's still used as the manual for any movement worth its salt even today. About as milquetoast a description as you can find.

            It wasn't until I realized that he'd committed the grievous sin of helping black people to vote that I understand why he's the new Republican stick-up-the-ass.

          • bobbert

            Sadly, they're doing a lot better than the North Koreans.

    • flamingpdog

      They prolly figured Boner and McConnell would have destroyed Social Security by now and JW would have had to take his job back.

    • Chick-Fil-Atheist™

      This, and the thread you spawned in this, makes me think of what liberalism must do to compete with Dead Reagan: We need to scour history and find the most affable dead liberal to invoke and hero-worship.

      • http://loljazzcatz.blogspot.com/ Chet Kincaid

        Been there, done that: Roosevelt.

  • flamingpdog

    Pfft, it's 1:57 PM in Providence, RI. What Wonketeers really want to know, is Jim Newell drunk all by himself yet?

    • Tommmcattt

      He's tied up in the basement at my place.

      The course of true love did never run smooth…

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        On the *bright* side, at least he's not by himself …

      • Negropolis

        There's a wicked Barney Frank joke (or Boy George or Roman Polanski) in there, but damn if I'm going to go to such a dark place to retrieve one.

  • TribecaMike

    As Aristotle pointed out long ago, it takes more than one jerk to form a circle jerk.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      That's why geometry is a liberal art.

  • glamourdammerung

    Who would have guessed that there was no honor among scumbags?

    Besides anyone with a functional brain.

  • owhatever

    Needs more cow bells for a real barn fuck.

    • Beowoof

      I am pretty sure the last ass O'Keefe got was in the barn and the donkey didn't like it.

  • Ryy

    "But isn’t that what you are? Political Schadenfreude Nerd-Weenises, who have already clicked the “Read More” about this? "

    I am. And you made my Saturday. Swoon!

  • angerbear

    This is the Tim Pawlenty of scandals.

    • TribecaMike

      Agreed, though last year he legally changed his name to T-POW!™

    • Fare la Volpe

      A veritable Who's That? of politics!

  • Barb

    OT:
    That little 15 year-old homophobe with the radio show got his show pulled from the airwaves.

    BAH HA HA!

    • flamingpdog

      Mom and Dad finally found out about Uncle Ernie's and his basement backroom operation? Seriously, did you ever listen to his show? His voice would go in and out as he leaned toward and backed off from the microphone, he bumped into the mic more than once while I was listening, and he was all over the place. Definitely not a graduate of the Columbia School of Broadcasting.*

      *not affiliated with the Columbia Broadcasting System.

    • TribecaMike

      I'm assuming it was because of his pronounced lisp?

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      And so ends another career in radio, thank the FSM.

    • Rotundo_

      Another budding Glenn Beck acolyte, in tears in his basement bedroom, cheeto stained tighty-whities around his knees weeping about the ashes of his media empire and whacking furiously at gladiator movies on Netflix. A media empire strangled in its basement manger.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Well, well, well. That's good news.

  • pinkocommi

    This Wonkette article is shockingly journalistic. Needs moar snark. And moar blingees.

  • http://www.eloquentscience.com EloquentScience

    Wonkette is doing serious reporting? Incredible.

  • Wile E. Quixote

    Pity poor Ken Larrey, an electrical engineer from Houston, who really just wants to be left alone to occasionally write for BigGovernment.com, retweet photos of Dana Loesch’s new pink heels, and maybe, one day, mastermind a big undercover sting all his own.

    Log Cabin Republicans on line 2 Mr. Larrey. Seriously, you could take the Alejandro video, put actual scenes of quasi-fascist leatherboys fucking and sucking each other, actual, Honest to God hot man-on-man action, with a special guest appearance by Matt Bomer in a crotchless leather cassock and have a cutaway to a naked Larry Craig and Lindsey Graham giving each other handjobs while they played Eastern Bloc tonsil hockey with each other and it still wouldn't be as gay as Ken Larrey re-tweeting Dana Loesch's tweets about her shiny, new pink pumps.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      "…cutaway to a naked Larry Craig and Lindsey Graham giving each other handjobs…"

      You just had to spoil it for me, huh?

      • Wile E. Quixote

        Sorry man, that was a dick move on my part. In the future I promise to reduce the medication so I don't mix the hot gay imagery with the icky gay imagery. Take a look at this. It ought to wash that Larry Craig/Lindsey Graham image right out of your brain.

        • Butch_Wagstaff

          Thank you, thank you, thank you.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            I'm watching Eyes Wide Open right now. It's an Israeli film. The lead actor is a total hothothothot hunk.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Oh, man.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Ya know?

    • NYNYNYjr

      Was I supposed to have already known who Larrey was?

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Where's Tom of Finland?

  • flamingpdog

    Nastassja/Nastassia Kinski LIBEL!!! She has eyes only for me! *Sigh*

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Well, I hope she gets to use them for her film career too, pdog. Let's not be selfish now. (rolls eyes, spraining both)

  • ProgressiveInga

    Roman Polanski libel!

    • TribecaMike

      The punishment for which is being forced to watch "Pirates" ten times in a row sans bathroom breaks, alcohol or reefer.

      Just kidding, even John Yoo wouldn't defend that.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        He would attack it with doves.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    The sad thing is that all of the people in this story apparently make a living out of this nonsense.

    • comrad_darkness

      But it's not welfare

  • Goonemeritus

    Way too many words wake me up when you get the email about a barge full of dildos.

    • Wile E. Quixote

      Is this what you're referring to when you say "barge full of dildos"?

      • not that Radio

        That'll do nicely.

      • Butch_Wagstaff

        Just a bunch of loons on a boat gettin' drink & tryin' to get laid after listening to "Guest Speakers" mouth off about Obama ("Kenyan Muslim Commie Nazi!") conspiracy theories.
        I'm sure it would also result in more pics of hooves shoved into ill-fitting pink pumps. Something that I'm sure we all, as a country, need more of.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Pretty much.

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        I am certain that according to rule 34, a velocidildo exists. Damn.

      • bobbert

        This is one of the few times when I really wish there was a +100X upfist.

  • TribecaMike

    Excellent summary, but since you asked, didja ever notice that Nico's first solo album was called "Chelsea Girl," though it was recorded long before infamous Mossad agent — and girl! — Chelsea Clinton was even born?

  • rocktonsam

    I hope "JOK's" parents have other kids to be proud of.

    • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

      One was exhibited as a talking fish, the other was served on a chaffing dish.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Chances are, immediately after his birth, each of them forked their babymaking bits out with the nearest rusty implement and pounded them to a fine dust, which they then burned at the local incinerator.

  • CivicHoliday

    I have zero sympathy for ANY of these people. May they all gnaw each others' faces off like the rats that they are.

    • Butch_Wagstaff

      This particular species, I believe, prefer to start on body parts other than the face first.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Yeah. Like vultures, they prefer to stick their heads up the asshole first.

    • Negropolis

      "May they all gnaw each others' faces off like the rats balt-salt fuled humans that they are."

      /fixed

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    Drugging and raping a women? I don't believe it. Drugging and raping underage boys…. that I would believe.

  • DonnyKerabotsos

    Wow. That's real news writing there, with just the right whiff of snark.

    They should confiscate Jonah Goldberg's Pulitzer Prize and award it to Wonkette.

    • TribecaMike

      Jonah Goldberg responds: "I don't roll on Shabbos, whatever and whenever that is."

      • glamourdammerung

        Then how does he get to the toilet?

        • TribecaMike

          Beats me, but I'm sure it involves Pentacostals, Reaganomics, and a serious case of rickets.

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          Let's not speculate on the Doughy Pantload's terlet habits, shall we? (Chunders violently)

          • TribecaMike

            Reaginites are all known to shout,
            "Damned spot, out, out, and out!"
            For example Ed Meese
            Slept each night in fine fleece,
            Which explains his having the gout.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            You just made that up, din'tchu? (Upfists TM)

  • Blueb4sunrise

    OT

    Alabama Shakes – "Be Mine" – Bonnaroo 2012 (Official Video)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9V8I0_TVo0&fe

    • TribecaMike

      Followed discretely by the old Alabama Getaway? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzQrgb-NH0A

    • http://www.wonkette.com Gunner Asch

      Thankyouthankyou. I like their live performances better than the album recordings. I don't buy much music these days but Alabama Shakes and Carolina Chocolate Drops are the exception. Now if I could only find a decent recording of Always Alright my life would be complete.

      • TribecaMike

        I'm a huge fan of the Chocolate Drops! Would that AM/FM radio played such good music each and every day.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Thank you for giving me the gift that is the Carolina Chocolate Drops.

        • Butch_Wagstaff

          Rhiannon Giddens–such a great voice.

          • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

            Dear heart, I am smackgobbened by the beauty of their music. (Hugs the Butch most fervently)

    • NYNYNYjr

      Slightly OT

      Roxette- "Knockin' on Every Door"- Sydney Opera House 1991 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aczDUXjIPQA

      Enjoy

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Thank you, Blue!

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      No love for Alabama Three?
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0hhzAgAzSr4

    • Negropolis

      I've seen them on some late-night shows. I really need to Youtube them to listen to a bit more of their stuff. What little I've heard has been very good.

    • 102415

      That was excellent. I sent it to my 4 month old granddaughter. Thank you.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    O'keefe should go off and investigate something important like the number of angels that can fit on the head of a pin or expose "unlimited data plans" from cellphone providers.

    • http://www.wonkette.com Gunner Asch

      I suddenly realized "All of them, Katie" actually works here. I may as well join the club of submitters.

  • Doktor Zoom

    OT Updated Update of the Update: Breitbart-memorialist David Bugnon's Facebook Page is now a thing of the past. He's also deleted his Twitter account and maybe his "fine art" website.

    Look, he richly deserves ridicule, and I sort of hope that his career as a right-wing propagandist is over… but I also hope that he doesn't do something MORE stupid than just plagiarism.

    • Rotundo_

      Now this is a tragedy, the next "Painter of Light" is out of the business? First we lose Glenn Beck's heir apparent (see above) and now this? Where will reich-wing Amerikkka go for their propaganda and for their photoshopped piece of shit portraits of dead hack writers? We're looking down the gaping maw of a crisis here people!

      • BoatOfVelociraptors

        Painteroflight.com still works!!!

    • TribecaMike

      A true artist — and bullshitter, pardon the redundancy — stands their ground, no matter how tight the corner they've painted themselves in. That's half the fun. Obviously, he's on the cutting edge of thinly veiled wussitude. Comes with the territory, I suppose.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Agreed, Dok. I don't wish him ill. I'm glad he was exposed, he was a cheat and a fraud, but I hope he's OK.

      • flamingpdog

        Don't worry none, MB, con artists (pun definitely intended) like this bozo just move on and set up shop in the next town when the heat is turned on.

      • glamourdammerung

        Honestly, it would not surprise me if they simply put it back up later and denied any debunking happened.

      • comrad_darkness

        He sold three of those gilcee prints and now plans to comfortably retire.

    • not that Radio

      Don't worry, Dok. I'm sure David Bugnon will be embroiled in a four-year-long legal battle over the propriety of his "artwork". Oh, wait. IOKIYAR. Nevermind.

  • SudsMcKenzie

    Do the authors realize were all wasted by this point on a Saturday afternoon?

    • flamingpdog

      It took you that long?

      • SudsMcKenzie

        I sleep late

    • TribecaMike

      I see I have some catching up to do, and thanks a million for the reminder.

    • Fare la Volpe

      I'm still running off a Wonkette meet-up contact high.

      • Barb

        How did it feel to meet the cool kids?

        • Fare la Volpe

          These people are ludicrously beautiful. The catalogue-pretty stock models that advertised this meet-up pale in comparison.

          • Barb

            I hope that someone took photos of this event.

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        We had a good time, did we, sweetie?

      • vodkamuppet

        We missed eachother by 20 minutes last night! Why did you take off so early?

  • Manhattan123

    Why do all the plans of these clowns involve dressing up and "goading" the commiepinkolibs into doing something? If they are so lefty evil shouldn't they just be doing it all the time and easily captured on tape and not need the playacting? Hey, wait a minute…

  • not that Radio

    The Breitbunatics are really going apeshit over this "SWATTing" thing, and now they've got 70 teabag congresspeople to sign onto it.

    Naturally, the comments there are all hilarious, but this one stood out, despite its OT nature:

    batcountry

    Solyndra…….the failed solar panel company, backed by tax dollars to the tune of 535 million dollars. How many people are in the USA? 330 million, so every man, woman and child could have had a million dollars and we still would have not spent as much money.

    • ElPinche

      Yeah, thank goodness for those BushCo monthly payment plans for those damn wars. Brotha'z gotta eat.

    • BoatOfVelociraptors

      Math. How the f does that work?

    • flamingpdog

      I clicked on a linkie at the Breitfart site and then another linkie there and found this. I wonder how much time the Bbarties spend at this site?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Well, at least *that* link didn't gross me out.

      • not that Radio

        I dunno. They claim to have "age-appropriate" games on that site. What constitutes "age-appropriate" for these people? For example, I could see one of them trying to play that Memory game, then insisting that green and orange are actually the same color, and anyone who says different is a commie homo n-word koolaid-drinker.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      ZOMG. This is … ludicrous. This is dangerously innumerate. Good grief. And I thought *I* was an idiot. These people. They horrify me.

    • George Skullfry

      Oh, come on. That had to be a Wonker posting. Nobody is actually that stupid, are they? Are they? Guys?

  • TribecaMike

    Research into backmasking by the late Chuck Colson disproves this entire article. For instance, if you listen closely to Charlie Watts' back beat on "Paint It Black" it's quite obvious that the demonic tom toms are chanting "Johnny Depp will make several mediocre films with the Anti-Christ Tim Burton."

    • Blueb4sunrise

      Whoa!
      Pass that over to me.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      I know whatchu been doin'.

      • redarmybarbie

        Say,

        Would you happen to remember this by any chance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmsOIjzQ1V8

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          ZOMG, I loved that! We used to sing it at the office back when it first came out. Luckily the suits had the other half of the office and never came out to where us grunts worked, or it would've been curtains for the lot of us.

  • Blueb4sunrise

    OT
    Creature!
    Contact your lawyer.
    http://boingboing.net/2012/06/09/black-lagoon-esq

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Beatiful! Creature will be flattered.

      • C_R_Eature

        I love the links in that post:

        fashion happy mutants mask Sex Steampunk Ukraine

        Good thing I didn't have a reputation to lose, eh? OTOH, those would be excellent words to try to work into an annoying Pop song. I'll keep them in mind!

        • not that Radio

          those would be excellent words to try to work into an annoying Pop song.

          Are you sure the B-52s haven't already done that?

          • C_R_Eature

            Zounds, Dewey – you're right! Nice spot!

            Party out of Bounds – The B-52's

            Surprise! Party!
            Yeah, we just thought we'd drop in!
            Where's your icebox?
            Where's the punch?
            Eww, house-a-tosis!

            Who's to blame when parties really get out of hand?
            Who's to blame when they get poorly planned?
            Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoooo–oooooo…

            Happy mutants get bombed, slobs make a mess
            Ya know sometimes they'll even ruin your wife's dress
            Happy mutants gettin' bombed. (Who's to blame?)
            Can you pull it back in line?
            Can you salvage it in time?

            What can you do to save a party?
            Parcheesi? Charades? A spur-of-the-moment
            Scavenger hunt, or Queen of the Nile? (Wooooh!)
            Who turned out the lights? (Wooooh!)

            Bombed, happy mutants gettin' bombed
            Happy mutants gettin' bombed, bombed, bombed, bombed, well who's to blame?

            Who's to blame when situations degenerate?
            Disgusting things you'd never anticipate
            Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooo–ooooooo…

            People get sick, they play the wrong games
            Ya know, it can ruin your name!
            Happy mutants gettin' bombed. (Who's to blame?)
            Can you pull it back in line?
            Can you salvage it in time?

            Woooooh!
            It shouldn't be difficult!
            Try not to condemn!
            O.K. who ordered the Steampunk fashion Sex Mask from the Ukraine ?

            I'll be tactful when making the rounds
            Be tactful when making the rounds
            and maybe you can save a party….

            Party gone out of bounds!
            Gone out of bounds!
            Party gone out of bounds!
            Gone out of bounds!

    • C_R_Eature

      Thanks! This looks eerily like the way I felt last night before passing out in a wave of exhaustion and Flying Dog Single Hop El Dorado IPA.

      How did they know?

  • ElPinche

    Nice reporting and you didn't even need fake bitches n pimps.

  • BoatOfVelociraptors

    Personally, I would appreciate a few hearts and "cute ass" comments on my record after a thorough inspection. Inside and out.

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      You're young.

      At my age, I just don't even want to acknowledge that somebody's groping my ass and it's not meant for my sexual satisfaction. Which is about all the groping I'm getting these days anyhow, not that you care.

      • redarmyzombie

        If worse comes to worse, you *could* try the TSA…

        • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

          I have. Trust me, it's not worth it.

  • Doktor Zoom

    Pretty close, except I heard it was Lois Lane and Klaus Kinski

    • flamingpdog

      Sounds more like a job for Mark Lane and Santa Klaus.

      • Doktor Zoom

        No, no, it was Pork Loin and Santa Barbara

  • KotBR

    I'm confused, is this the plot for the Dallas reboot?

  • George Skullfry

    I'm sorry, I just have a lot of trouble with Sting Theory.

    • tessiee

      U2, huh?

      • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

        Brilliant, you two.

  • George Skullfry

    Okay, that was weird. I've found another cause of instant-delete. Unfortunately, I failed to save a copy before posting,so I cannot debug. I may have inadvertently used the word for which I usually substitute "tripwire", but I cannot remember.

    Anyhow, the condensed (and, of course, much less witty) version is:

    1. These guys are bozos, and exist to distract the media from covering the actually awful bullshit that their older compadres are inflicting on us all the time.

    2. The weather here in Groveland has been absolutely lovely for several days. Unfortunately, I've spent most of these days (with occasional breaks to appreciate the weather) cleaning up my lot, so I am tired and marginally crankier than usual.

    3. I'm gonna go have beer and listen to a not-bad local band for a while.

    Cheers.

  • Negropolis

    A regular Woodward & Bernstein, these two.

    Now, all I have to find out is who the hell all of these actors are. lol

  • http://www.gurukalehuru.wordpress.com gurukalehuru

    Too long and complex. I will wait for the movie version to make sense of it all.
    Somebody is going to make a movie about this, aren't they?

    • SudsMcKenzie

      O'Keefethious?

    • Generation[redacted]

      Atlas Shrugged, Part 2?

  • C_R_Eature

    I, for one, welcome our new loquacious Investigative Journalist Overlords.

    Keep it up.

  • politics_nerd

    Speedway, Illinois, which never existed, has since changed their name and location to Speedway, Indiana. You are welcome.

    • Matthius_Phelan

      Hello, you!

      I am embarrassed to say this, because it implies I've been re-reading my own work's comment feed many months later, BUT … just so you know … it took me precisely until now to notice this comment.

      I've notified Editrix Schoenkopf (and provided she has time) this will be corrected.

      Please send her your own email about it yourself also? In the future, you could maybe email the author or the editor with these sorts of corrections? it'd get fixed faster and you'd have my gratitude.

      YOU DID GOOD! THIS WAS A GOOD CATCH!

  • MosesInvests

    The Emperor Basil the Bulgar-slayer turns to the Varangian Guard and says, "Wow, that plotline is Byzantine!"

    • http://www.kalimao.blogspot.com MittBorg

      Oh, does he?

  • ttommyunger

    Proving once and for all: there is no honor among Queefs.

  • http://inappropriatejobpostings.blogspot.com/ fuflans

    i really don't understand any of this, but i refuse to belive adele did anything bad.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Oh my farking gawd.
    (Yes, it's Bugnon again, swiping other people's stuff. The man is beyond help. As far as I know, he's not yet peddling inkjet printouts for $4,000, so there's that in his favor.)

    I'll start out with question #1: What is O'Queef smoking?

  • Tundra Grifter

    "…photos of Dana Loesch’s new pink heels…"

    Those are some serious calves, right there! Was she a linebacker in college?

  • lulzmonger

    Huh. Seems to be becoming a real fuckhead-eat-fuckhead ManBoy's club among the Reaganjugend now … psssst, fuckheads: GET HUNGRIER FASTER.

    If memory serves, James "FAILING FOR LIBERTY" O'Keefe should already be "SWAT'ed" with a nice epic visit to the Crowbar Hilton by now. Fucking around with the phone system of a Homeland Security Committee member = if O'Keefe's last name was Muktar or Mohammed, he'd be enjoying the "research opportunities" of the VIP basement-suite in Guantanamo today. Can't we just all chip in to buy this bipedal fungus an actual fucking chin so he can maybe get up enough gumption to pull that big scratchy Martyr/Messiah Complex stick out of his arse?

  • jerichothedrifter

    Saw the term "fellow travelers" in the emails. Just like 1951, except with the Interwebz.