now get ready for dictation

GOP To Ronald Reagan’s Secretary: Pay Those Taxes Harder!

Ronald Reagan with his secretaryHey girl. You probably already heard that the GOP blocked the Buffett Rule, the “political” “gimmick” that says millionaires have to pay as much in taxes as Ronald Reagan’s secretary. Everyone knows that making millionaires pay the same rate as losers like you means punishing them for their success. ONLY YOU ARE TO BE PUNISHED, because we know you like it. Pay those taxes! Yeah, yeah, pay ‘em harder!

The Buffett Rule is broadly favored in American society — as the Washington Times notes, “its approval stands at better than 50 percent,” and 60 percent is higher than 50, so the Washington Times finds itself in the rare position of only lying a little bit. But since the Senate Democrats don’t have 60 votes (and even when they had 60 votes those votes still came with Ben Nelson attached), nothing will ever be passed forever and ever. Like, purely hypothetically, the Democrats could compromise their way to a Republican plan made by Republicans for Republicans, and when it came time to vote for it, it would be Fascist Marxist Communist Leninist Trotskyite Stalinist Bolshevik Liberation Theologist Socialism! So weird, right?

Anyhoo, the vote was 51-45, which means it lost because Democrats and Barack Obama are pansy-ass losers. Joe Lieberman missed the vote (and apparently he counts for four), but says he would have been against it too, had he managed to waddle himself over there, because “job creators” and “assorted nonsense” and, hmmm, well let’s just ctrl-c:

“To me, economic history proves that lower capital gains taxes grow our economy and higher capital gains taxes don’t increase revenues,” Mr. Lieberman said in a statement, calling the Buffett tax “especially ill-timed” because businesses report sitting on billions of dollars they otherwise might be investing if they had more certainty about the economy and tax policies.

Let’s repeat that in italics this time instead of [strong]: Businesses report sitting on billions of dollars they “otherwise” “might be” “investing” if they had more “certainty.” Also, if you want to know about capital gains rates and growing economies, may we suggest Kevin Drum’s blog, or Ezra Klein’s maybe, or pretty much any economist in the world who does not work for AEI? And that’s why we threw Joe Lieberman the fuck out of our party, The End. [WashTimes]

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Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

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90 comments

  1. prommie

    There's lots of talk lately about how the succesful ladies like it hard, that its their secret fantasy.

  2. Mahousu

    The rich are such sensitive, delicate flowers. If they don't get their subsidies and tax breaks, their feelings are hurt, and they go hide in their rooms and refuse to work or invest or hire or anything. So please, be considerate of the poor rich!

  3. LesBontemps

    ONLY YOU ARE TO BE PUNISHED, because we know you like it.

    I see Sara Benincasa has left her mark.

    1. BerkeleyBear

      But the sign of dealing with a true professional is no marks. Or so I've been told (tugs at chafing turtleneck).

  4. Doktor StrangeZoom

    Mrs. Landingham was happy to pay her taxes at the appropriate rate, and would have given that Romney fellow a good talking-to.

      1. Doktor StrangeZoom

        Pop-culture side note: Interesting that, West Wing fan though I am (Kid Zoom and I are nearing the end of the third season on DVD, and he zips through 'em like popcorn), I'll be damned if I can remember either the Lily Tomlin character's name OR the actress who played Mrs Landingham (Kathryn Joosten–but I had to google for the last name).

        Then again, other than the characters she invented (Edith Ann, Ernestine the operator, Trudy the bag lady), does anyone remember ANY of the names of characters played by Tomlin….?

          1. Doktor StrangeZoom

            Or as Nicole Hollander calls her in Sylvia, The Woman Who Does Everything More Beautifully Than You

  5. prommie

    The Big Book of Conservative Myths is a big book indeed, containing such legends as "the Laffer Curve," "the invisible hand," "The Civil War Was Not About Slavery," "the founding fathers were Christians," "abstinence only prevents teen pregnancy," and the latest favorite, "all collective action is evil evil bad dirty socialism."

    1. BerkeleyBear

      Correct the last one to "all collective action actually requiring the rich do their fair share" and you have it, since they are just fine with the poor and middle class taking a collective screwing.

  6. SorosBot

    Yes, businesses are sitting on billions of dollars they are doing nothing with. Which is why we need to tax those fuckers and get that money to actually work to help grow the economy. Moron.

    1. actor212

      Frighteningly, yes.

      And the scariest statistic I've read this month: Unemployment in the American 18-24 age group is just above 50% (but less "just above" than the WashTimes above). Factor in college students, and something like 40% of that age group is un- or underemployed. That's higher than its been since the Great Depression.

      When first time job seekers can't get first time jobs, they often end up permanently unemployed. The Republicans fought hard against a welfare state, but their policies may have (koffkoff) *inadvertently* created one…

      1. prommie

        Looks like the conditions that led to Punk Rock in England in the 70s. Invest in mohawk-gel and safety pins.

        1. dinkybossetti

          I have been thinking this exact thing for awhile now… except sub in "super glue and/or gelatin" instead of mohawk gel. I wonder what the music is going to sound like.

  7. prommie

    Low capital gains rates encourage short term speculation, higher rates encourage long-term investment, ne'st ce pas? I mean, aren't the low capital gains rates a major part of the problem with our economy, which is, in short, that noone invests anymore, they either scam (Goldman Sachs) or speculate?

    1. prommie

      Well now, if the gubmint is using your SSI payroll taxes as if they were general revenues just like the income tax, doesn't that make it just silly, and also deeply misleading, to try to keep them off the table when you are putting together statistics on who pays "taxes?"

    2. Biff

      I'm one of those unable to work due to a serious disability. 1/2 my Ameros come from SSD, the other 1/2 from my pension, and virtually none of it is tax-free. I also easily fall within the lowest quintile, and I pay income taxes. Not just payroll taxes, but actual income taxes. Perhaps if I was a family of four I'd have a loophole, but I'm being penalized for being a single poor. Jayzus, I hate these fuckers with their statistics.

  8. James Michael Curley

    Ezra Kline's graph of the day is flawed in that it discounts and doesn't even discuss the enormous boost in government spending occasioned by a little thing called World War II. Still even if you live by the Laffer Curve it is also flawed as it starts with an assumption that if the tax rate were 100% there would be no government revenue, the Laffer Curve real world testing for almost four decades has shown that a tax rate of 70% is the point at which government revenue would be maximized before it started to turn down. This was envisioned by Keynes who theorized it at a percentage in the mid 60's way back in the early 1930's.

    1. prommie

      Look at you with your fancy edumacashun and policy expertise and knowledge of facts and all; you must be a socialist.

  9. CogitoErgoBibo

    GOP list of people to piss off: Women? Check. Physicians? Check. The poors? Check, fifty billion times over. Middle class? Oh yeah. You too, people. Now if all of you would only become successful, maybe you'd stop whining because it hurts our royal ears. Communists.

  10. FakaktaSouth

    Here's what. If the theory of trickle down economics is so dependent on "certainty" in a world with this many billions of people, then doesn't that ALSO (along with FACTS, FIGURES and the LAST 10 FREAKING YEARS FOR RESULTS) make it a failed concept in practice (you know, like real Communism?) My perfect world would have none of these morons or any of their theories at all – but, since in life these people exist, striving for perfection would end in failure. So I move on because, you deal with the citizenry you have, not the one you wish you had. (obligatory, yes, especially down here) I think it is bullshit at this point to listen to them talk any more about what they NEED to make this theory of theirs work, ie – everyone poor finally just dead in the streets – and try something else without so many corollaries, if only-s and other NONSENSE they use to keep this up. Shut up shut up shut up. I don't want to hear why come it's all our faults your shit don't work. NO MORE.

    You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one…etc and so forth.

    1. actor212

      See, in *my* perfect world, I would have ripped Arthur Laffer's head off and shat down his throat, then shot a dirty look at David Stockman…

      Maybe I can borrow Obama's hot tub time machine.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        I saw David Stockman on Real Time looking like Colonel Wilkerson – COMPLETELY disgusted, confused and amazed by what has happened to the Rs and ANY tenuous grasp on reality any of them may have once held.

        1. prommie

          That poor man. I admire him for trying. Noone listened, they're not listening still, perhaps they never will.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            And he and I will suffer with our sanity. I wish I could paint like VVG instead of just being the crazy part.

      1. FakaktaSouth

        It truly is time to consider believing in whatever Mayan-Islamoterrorist-RomanCatholic-MissouriJesus there may be, when I am the one trying to convince any one to use common sense and Math. I like the cliched sex, drugs and rock and roll of life, and these people make me feel like I WANT, nay, NEED to read Paul Krugman.

          1. FakaktaSouth

            Right. I should have used the word "instead"
            So it SHOULD read "They make me need Pauly K when all I wanna do is get high, get laid, and jam out or whatever order it happens, perhaps even all at the same time. Instead, I am reading bullshit econ theories and trying to make sense of just let us have all the money and fuck off." VERY ANNOYING.

    2. tessiee

      "I think it is bullshit at this point to listen to them talk any more about what they NEED to make this theory of theirs work, ie – everyone poor finally just dead in the streets – and try something else without so many corollaries, if only-s and other NONSENSE they use to keep this up. Shut up shut up shut up. I don't want to hear why come it's all our faults your shit don't work."

      It's like those goddamn fucking "the secret" type books:
      "you can have whatever you want if you really wish for it"
      *wishes for it*
      "That didn't work"
      "Yeah, but you have to really, *really*, wish for it"
      *wishes harder*
      "It still didn't work"
      "Yeah, but you have to really, *really*, REALLY, wish for it"
      etc. etc.

      1. doloras

        That's coincidentally the logic of Scientology, except you have to pay another $10,000 for each "it still didn't work".

  11. OneYieldRegular

    Somebody should set Joe Lieberman up in the middle of Athens and have him repeat that out loud.

  12. Millennial Malaise

    You know what was supposed to have certainty. Death and taxes. If these douchcunts don't want to pay up the latter, I know someone that can help them with the former.

    Wait, does that count as wishing death? Sorry in advance for breaking any commenting rules, but Uncle Sam just sucked a month's rent from my bank account so I have no fucks to give.

    1. tessiee

      "douchcunts"

      Somehow, I read this as "couchdonuts", which, if they don't exist, definitely should.

  13. Terry

    "And that’s why we threw Joe Lieberman the fuck out of our party, The End."

    Too bad he wasn't thrown all the way out of Congress.

  14. CivicHoliday

    Jane, you ignorant slut…but of COURSE you should be paid less and taxed more than I am!

  15. chascates

    49% of Americans (me included) DO NOT PAY TAXES!!! Well, income taxes (but do pay FICA) any way since we don't make enough money to pay taxes. We must be forced to put 'skin in the game' so we'll be more amenable to gutting government services to the job creators can continue to create more offshore jobs.

    Shit, I'm still drunk from last night!

  16. tessiee

    “To me, economic history proves that lower capital gains taxes grow our economy and higher capital gains taxes don’t increase revenues,”

    Just in case anyone, anywhere, needed further proof that Senator Zoidberg was a codependent douche, right?
    Hell, you don't even need to glance at a history book — just look at how shitty the South is, almost as a direct result of bending over for the "job creators", and then being dumped and abandoned when they found someplace even cheaper to exploit (I say "almost", because fundamentalist christianity has plenty to answer for, too). Or look at how wonderful things are in countries like China, where four-year-olds working in slave labor factories have made life better for everyone.
    Ass.

    1. prommie

      Remember the good old days, when America was an economic and military superpower with no equal, when we flew to the moon? And also, the majority of workers were in a union, and the top tax rate was over 70% and basically, everything we were doing was wrong, according to the conservatives. We were the richest, strongest, most powerful nation on earth, and we were doing everything wrong! Its a mystery, how this could be, while bastions of freedom such as Yemen fail to succeed.

  17. Slim_Pickins

    Back when the 1% was taxed at 50%, it wasn't "but we are the JOB CREATORS." It was "You go Ronnie."

  18. Allmighty_Manos

    I want to thank Lieberman for continually reminding us why it was such a good idea to toss his ass out of the Democratic Party.

  19. ttommyunger

    Secretary's pay in the 60's again? "Big tits: $100 a week. Big tits and fuck, $200 a week.

  20. barto

    ZOMFG you linked to the WashTimes, now you'll have to scrub those internets tubes clean, girl! Also too some douchebag Dem from AK voted against cloture, the dumbass.

  21. Negropolis

    Oh, that alt text was bad in the very best way.

    Only in the Senate is 51 not greater than 45.

  22. BerkeleyBear

    Shhhhhiiiiiiit, if we have to start paying attention to what "experts" and "intellectuals" have to say we might as well call ourselves Sweden. (Which would generally be awesome, other than the fixation with pickled herring).

  23. actor212

    Hell, you just have to look at the last forty years economic growth: raise taxes on the rich, economy booms; cut taxes on the rich, economy tanks and barely recovers.

  24. sullivanst

    Thank you David Levine:

    But when economists think about the role taxes play in a person’s decision to work, they think about two things. There’s the “substitution effect,” where higher tax rates make you work less, because you keep less of every extra dollar you earn. But there’s also the “income effect,” in which higher tax rates make you work more, because you need to earn more to be able to live how you want to live, or retire when you want to retire. The question is, which dominates?

    Levine, who retired before he turned 50, is an example of the income effect winning out. “There’s no question you would have gotten more out of me if you’d taxed me more,” he says. “Think about it. You’re 40 years old, making a ton of money. But you’ve only been making it for a little while. And you’re looking at a life expectancy of 40 more years. Of course you’re going to work more years if taxes are higher! To make the money you need, you need to keep working.”

    Well, DUH!

  25. Callyson

    I am so sick of this crap about "certainty." We don't have "certainty" about what will happen in the future on Main Street, but we still manage to live our lives and get to work. It would be nice if corporate America would do the same…

  26. tessiee

    "we might as well call ourselves Sweden. (Which would generally be awesome"

    And by "awesome", you DO mean "blond men for Tessie", right?

Comments are closed.