MAY YOUR HINGES ALWAYS STAY LUBRICATED  3:30 pm March 23, 2012

Young Turks Kick Callista Gingrich When She’s Down (VIDEO)

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

To Serve ManEveryone hates Moon Empress and Lizardoid “V” Queen Callista Gingrich, this is not “news.” But why? Wonkette’s own Jim Newell explained she has never done anything to anyone (we guess Jim forgot about Newt’s second wife) and is not even running for anything so what who cayuhs. Well, Cenk [Last Name] of The Young Turks apparently does, that’s who, and put together a nightmare video, after the jump.

[The Young Turks]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 133 comments }

WVUer21 March 23, 2012 at 3:31 pm

BOW BEFORE THE EMPRESS OF THE MOON

pdiddycornchips March 23, 2012 at 3:49 pm

"Everyone hates Moon Empress and Lizardoid “V” Queen Callista Gingrich, this is not “news.” But why? "

Because she married an obnoxious blowhard for fame and fortune and now wants us to believe she's June Cleaver. The Beav's mom did not have a 500k expense account at Tiffany's.

Texan_Bulldog March 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Yeah, they won't say it, but it's the whole home-wrecking thing. The fear of a younger bimbo not inundated with kids and bills and stress, just coming in & hopping on your man's dick is something that tends to tick women off when that actually happens.

Veritas78 March 23, 2012 at 8:14 pm

In fairness to Callista, she didn't just come in and hop on Newt's dick. I'm sure a GPS was involved.

vtxmcrider March 26, 2012 at 7:38 am

Nor did June Cleaver engage in a multi-year adulterous relationship while portraying herself as a disgustingly pious Catholic.

actor212 March 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Why does her hair not move so?

Lascauxcaveman March 23, 2012 at 4:14 pm

Aqua-Net. It's a helluva drug.

Maman March 23, 2012 at 4:18 pm

That is a 1982's worth of Aqua-Net in Texas

LettucePrey March 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm

Obviously, a gay stylist hates her, somwhere.

Inchhigh March 23, 2012 at 5:26 pm

Palm Springs crash helmet, dahling

FlownOver March 23, 2012 at 6:02 pm

There's Something About Callista, obvs.

Boojum_Reborn March 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Newt kicked the other ones. I guess it was her turn.

actor212 March 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Newt probably appreciated her cunning stunt

OneDollarJuana March 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

I bet she can open her mouth as wide as her eyes.

Boojum_Reborn March 23, 2012 at 3:49 pm

Yes, snakes can unhinge their jaws.

actor212 March 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm

Which seems like an awful big waste of open mouth, considering who her husband is

actor212 March 23, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Can you imagine being the videographer trying to work out the light metering between Pasty Face and the Red Rider?

Barb March 23, 2012 at 3:33 pm

Socialism is defined as an economic form where the government controls the means of production. Newt Gingrich says he'll stop oil imports and force the oil companies to use American oil and charge no more than $2.50 per gallon of gasoline. My friends, Newt Gingrich is a Socialist.

emmelemm March 23, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Words. How do they work?

CommieLibunatic March 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

J'accuse, Gingrich!!

ManchuCandidate March 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

That's a pretty big stretch assuming that US Americans understand the meanings of words.

GreatChristiano March 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Yeah, yeah, but we won't need to worry about that…

Chichikovovich March 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

Sophistry! Why that's not socialism any more than Sarah Palin sending every Alaskan a check for thousands each year for their cut of the fees from drilling in the state oil fields is socialism.

GuyClinch March 23, 2012 at 4:02 pm

Yeah, and why $2.50?! Why not $2.25?! Oh, because it's COMPLETELY UNREALISTIC AND CYNICAL TO BEGIN WITH? Okey-doke.

Chichikovovich March 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm

I'm going to run for President as the nominee of the "Natural Born American" party. (Somebody with photoshop skills get to work on a counterfeit birth certificate, stat!" )

Unlike that piker Newt, my administration will see to it that people are paid
$1 for every litre gallon of free gas they pump into their vehicles. Who's with me?

Barb March 23, 2012 at 4:53 pm

You've got my vote!

GuyClinch March 23, 2012 at 4:57 pm

You sure have got a commie name, though, fella.

Negropolis March 24, 2012 at 1:01 am

Well, you already lost half the white vote naming a party that will have the initials "NBA".

SorosBot March 23, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Now that gay marriage is legal in some states, they're allowing amphibian/avian marriage too – dammit Santorum was right!

Slim_Pickins March 23, 2012 at 3:35 pm

Trophy wife, maybe Newt will age out.

elgin_pelican March 23, 2012 at 4:43 pm

To the Aztecs, a severed human head was a trophy. So I will allow your usage.

ifthethunderdontgetya March 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

Hey, Rmoney eats guinea pigs, too.

That's what Reptiloids do, sheeple!
~

OneDollarJuana March 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Hey, Peruvians eat guinea pigs! Does that mean Romney is a Peruvian? Show us the birf certifikat!

Dudleydidwrong March 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

I guess we know now that Mrs. Rmoney swallows rather than spits.

Gratuitous World March 23, 2012 at 3:36 pm

she's a friend of a family friend, which I believe makes me a monster.

GhostBuggy March 23, 2012 at 4:11 pm

GET OUT.

Nah, I'm just joshing you.

Gratuitous World March 23, 2012 at 4:36 pm

CARE OR DIE

Chichikovovich March 23, 2012 at 4:22 pm

It's not too late to get another family.

actor212 March 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Yea, friends are cheap, souls not so much

Sassomatic March 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

They tried to put her in the wax museum, but the wax doll kept coming out un-realistically life-like.

Clancy_Pants March 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

Hillary Clinton would be President now if she could make her hair do that.

Boojum_Reborn March 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Either President, or an astronaut.

Veritas78 March 23, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Donald Trump can, and he isn't President.

LabRodent March 23, 2012 at 3:37 pm

What things I can do to her that start with the letter "F".

GuyClinch March 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Finger her nostrils?
Floss her radiant teeth?
Foist fake Tiffany jewelry on her?
Finagle a terrifying but strangely wondrous blowjob out of her (see Tiffany)?
French-kiss her knee-pits?
Fibrillate her hair?

Chichikovovich March 23, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Flee?

Lascauxcaveman March 23, 2012 at 4:26 pm

Forget her? (Soon, one hopes.)

tessiee March 23, 2012 at 4:53 pm

Finagle a lunch invitation, just to watch her rip apart a rodent with her beak and talons…
On second thought, you probably shouldn't do that.

smokefilledroommate March 23, 2012 at 10:07 pm

Fart on her?

Negropolis March 24, 2012 at 1:03 am

Falcon-hood?

vtxmcrider March 26, 2012 at 7:41 am

Flog.

iburl March 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Nice full-on-Kabuki ending.

LiveToServeYa March 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Her ratings are probably low because she bumped Newt's ugly while it was technically un-bumpable.Gargh. Time for brain bleach.

Gleem McShineys March 23, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Hello. ALWAYS UN-BUMPABLE

chascates March 23, 2012 at 3:38 pm

Holy Moley, she's sounds irritating as hell! Hell must be a Pacific airline flight seated between Callista and Sarah Palin.

Boojum_Reborn March 23, 2012 at 3:44 pm

"No Exit"

actor212 March 23, 2012 at 3:53 pm

That's when you reach up for the oxygen mask and strangle yourself with the tubing

dadanarchist March 23, 2012 at 3:54 pm

"Please, God, Open the Emergency Exit"

Steverino247 March 23, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Room for one more, honey! (Twilight Zone reference…)

Chichikovovich March 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

That's when you start looking out the window hoping to see a gremlin on the wing.

(Edit: Speaking of twilight zone references…)

Isyaignert March 23, 2012 at 6:16 pm

Haha – I remember that episode – it scared the cr@p out of me as a kid. Good stuff!!

Biff March 23, 2012 at 6:53 pm

That was Shatner's big break. And yesterday was his 81st birthday.

tessiee March 23, 2012 at 4:59 pm

The flight attendants are Roseanne Barr and Bobcat Goldthwaite.
The pilot is Gilbert Gottfried.
The in-flight movie is anything with Jim Carrey and/or Adam Sandler.
And there are no parachutes.

Boojum_Reborn March 23, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Sartre has nothing on you.

Isyaignert March 23, 2012 at 6:19 pm

Great list; maybe we can work Fran Drescher (with a sinus infection) in somewhere, also, too.

DCBloom March 23, 2012 at 9:19 pm

Snakes on a Plane

Negropolis March 24, 2012 at 1:04 am

There's a Gremlin on the wing. OMG! Now they're on the plane!

PhilippePetain March 23, 2012 at 3:40 pm

Cylons are people, my friends.

dijetlo March 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm

Cylon ref +1

Guppy March 23, 2012 at 4:12 pm

Woe be unto us the day they actually figure out how to make one look convincingly human…

PhilippePetain March 23, 2012 at 5:08 pm
James Michael Curley March 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Newt, Newt,
He's our man,
If he can't do it,
Ipecac can.

StarsUponThars March 23, 2012 at 3:41 pm

Why is Delta Burke sucking the brains out of a guinea pig?

MissTaken March 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Callista reminds me of the freaky clown doll in Poltergeist. Or of the creepy blond girl who had the freaky clown doll. Either way, creepy and freaky.

GuyClinch March 23, 2012 at 3:58 pm

She reminds me of Callista Gingrich. /shudder/

SorosBot March 23, 2012 at 4:15 pm

They're he-ere! She was creepy; but also makes me sad considering how that little girl died in real life.

MissTaken March 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm

My friends' daughter looks exactly like her. I'm always worried I'm gonna make some comment about it and piss them off.

SorosBot March 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

My one cousin's daughter looks almost just like her too; at least she doesn't act creepy.

actor212 March 23, 2012 at 4:22 pm

THAT'S IT!

That's where I've seen her before!

No, not Poltergeist…Killer Klowns From Outer Space!

Chichikovovich March 23, 2012 at 4:32 pm

Excellent! I don't think that's the last time we'll be seeing that image in this neighborhood.

Callista look-alikes clearly form what Wittgenstein called a property determined by a "family resemblance". Both the Killer Klown and the Martian Girl look like Callista, but the KK and the MG don't resemble each other in the slightest.

(Martian Girl:) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDAaTzccCik

Loaded_Pants March 23, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Poltergeist II. Julian Beck as the Rev. creeped the hell out of me.

ElPinche March 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

She's almost human-like. IBM does amazing work.

Texan_Bulldog March 23, 2012 at 3:42 pm

"He gets in and out." I'm hoping she's referring to the pool boy, Enrico.

Chichikovovich March 23, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Can't be. Enrico brings staying power to his off-the-books domestic duties.

Schmannnity March 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm

Look, if she has no self-respect, why should we?

smashedinhat March 23, 2012 at 3:43 pm

“Is it because he’s married to Newt Gingrich?” Jayar asks. “It might be because we’re scared of her.”

Terrified is a better description. Those soulless eyes!

C_R_Eature March 23, 2012 at 3:46 pm

No matter how advanced they make these Replicants, they still give me the willies.

RadioStalingrad March 23, 2012 at 3:47 pm

The Original Gangsta Stepford Wife.

GreatChristiano March 23, 2012 at 3:48 pm

Never trust anyone named "Callista."

Doesn't she have 1001 dalmation puppies, BTW???

Chichikovovich March 23, 2012 at 4:06 pm

Now that you mention it, her maiden name was De Vil.

All, right, all right, ….. But it ought to have been.

GreatChristiano March 23, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Yeah, something like "Cruella???"…

tessiee March 23, 2012 at 5:05 pm

I think you're thinking of Cruella DeVille — but now that I think about it, I have my doubts about Callista Flockhart, too.

Callyson March 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

Jesus, how much Botox can be injected into one face?

GuyClinch March 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

If you stripped her of all the botox and hairspray, she could be buried in a matchbox.

dadanarchist March 23, 2012 at 3:50 pm

I don't recommend kicking a Callista when its down. It converts whore diamonds into a rigid, glassy exoskeleton and a misplaced kick could result in broken bones.

BarackMyWorld March 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm

The Stepford Wife, Cylon, and Blade Runner jokes were already made? Damn it!

Extemporanus March 23, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Hollywood Montrose wept.

ManchuCandidate March 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm

Fembots do have feelings you know.

SorosBot March 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm

"He gets in and out" – ugh, we don't want to hear about that, Callista.

SheriffRoscoe March 23, 2012 at 3:51 pm

She hasn't pecked Newt's eyes out of their sockets yet?

vtxmcrider March 26, 2012 at 7:45 am

She has certainly pecked the pecker that has pecked her.

4TheTurnstiles March 23, 2012 at 3:52 pm

behold: freshmen at George Mason (proud home to the world's most libertarian wing-nutty econ faculty) present saner analysis of contemporary events than legitimate contenders to the white house and their wingnut spouses…
http://owsanalysis.wordpress.com

plus, lizard people

Goonemeritus March 23, 2012 at 3:53 pm

She and Newt deserve each other and I think they may have some down time soon so that will be nice for them.

SayItWithWookies March 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

I hope Newt and Soonerverander* Gingrich fade into the sunset now. Unfortunately it's probably going to be like exiling Napoleon on Elba — they misjudged the amount of water needed to keep him away for good.

(* You know — Newt's frozen concoction that helps him hang on).

James Michael Curley March 23, 2012 at 3:57 pm

But Zeus turned her into a bear.

Steverino247 March 23, 2012 at 4:00 pm

I want you to go down to Gingrich for President headquarters and put a Voight-Kampff machine on Callista…

Why do they risk it? Sucking some asshole's cock.

You tell me, buddy.

stncmchnc March 23, 2012 at 4:03 pm

Can I please have a q-q-quarter? You want me to give you a quarter so you can masturbate in front of my child? Yeah! Apologies to McKinney and Foley.

Wilcoxyz March 23, 2012 at 4:04 pm

If I were a Tiffany-driven bot like that, I'd get real friendly with Mitt at the convention. You never know when Newt might get cancer or Ann might fall off a horse.

Isyaignert March 23, 2012 at 6:21 pm

Don't know if she'd go for the whole Mormon thing – Catholics like to party!!

KennyFuckingPowers March 23, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Judging by the look on her face, she found Newt's gerbil stash.

weej_bain March 23, 2012 at 4:29 pm

Stuffing for the turkey?

Extemporanus March 23, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Today, we all have been in a Turkish prison.

MaxUdargo March 23, 2012 at 4:13 pm

I guess you can't post links in the comments.

Anyway, do a YouTube search for "Kids in the Hall chicken lady date." I think Callista is what they were going for with the chicken lady makeup.

Chet Kincaid March 23, 2012 at 4:46 pm

Of course you can post links in the comments!

MaxUdargo March 23, 2012 at 6:46 pm

A little investigating reveals that it wasn't the link, it was the use of a certain word, that in ancient Hebrew would look something like rtrd, and which is a not very nice way to describe one of Sarah Palin's children, and which I used to describe the chicken lady's farm boy father.

So, anyway, here's Callista in an old Kids in the Hall sketch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrzkFmzd9Xo

macv507 March 23, 2012 at 4:14 pm

I saw her years ago when she played Chicken Lady on the Kids in the Hall.

MaxUdargo March 23, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Hey!

rickmaci March 23, 2012 at 4:23 pm

How does a woman who barely utters a word on the campaign circuit end up with a 44 percent negative? That 7th Commandment karma must be more powerful than I would ever have considered. Ghost of Happy Rockefeller, huh?

weej_bain March 23, 2012 at 4:30 pm

Tide comes in. Tide goes out. Who can explain it?

pinkocommi March 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Callista…. Wasn't she that skinny girl on Ally McBeal? She hasn't aged well.

SorosBot March 23, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Well both are fucking men much older than they are; but then Han Solo is a hell of a lot cooler than Newt.

Toomush_Infer March 23, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Well, Newt was almost right – she is a cunning, cunning stunt…..except for the cunning part…

mavenmaven March 23, 2012 at 4:34 pm

First Lady-bot

DemonicRage March 23, 2012 at 4:38 pm

Newt has pointedly pointed out her likeness (in his mind) to style icon Jacqueline Kennedy. Does that mean that after Newt croaks, she is going to surprise us all by marrying a Greek shipping tycoon? Are there any Greek shipping tycoons any more, or is that whole blighted country in the toilet bowl?

Beowoof March 23, 2012 at 5:07 pm

I understand she has been programmed to suck a golf ball through a garden hose. Wife two was gone after that innovation.

tessiee March 23, 2012 at 5:08 pm

"Everyone hates Moon Empress and Lizardoid “V” Queen Callista Gingrich,"

This is a damn lie.
I do not hate Callista Gingrich.
I am completely indifferent to Callista Gingrich.
This is true even on the rare occasions when I remember she exists.

smokefilledroommate March 23, 2012 at 10:04 pm

Meep to that.

stncmchnc March 23, 2012 at 5:27 pm

Chicken Lady at the mall you tube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeknVqdDAGA

ttommyunger March 23, 2012 at 6:59 pm

Amoral Cunts are people too, my friend.

YouBetcha March 23, 2012 at 7:24 pm

How can this woman be only 45 years old? How can this be? This can't be possible. I demand to see a birth certificate.

Veritas78 March 23, 2012 at 8:21 pm

What are the odds that this jism-slut has already blown Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor?

DahBoner March 23, 2012 at 8:23 pm

If she is a "trophy wife", the trophy wasn't for First Place…

smokefilledroommate March 23, 2012 at 10:12 pm

I think if you take her wig off, her head actually resembles that of an alien in Alien Nation.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: