uncomfortable truths

Mitt Romney: I’m Not A NASCAR Buff, Just Friends With ‘Team Owners’

Richie Rich over here just cannot stop reminding everyone that he’s a special and obscenely wealthy snowflake. Mitt won’t be watching the Daytona 500, if it ever happens, ’cause he’s not a huge racing fan but HAHAHA some of his best friends do own racing teams, he quickly jostles to add for some damn reason. Could these team owners maybe get M.I.T.T. a new pit crew, to do a little much needed maintenance, oh, and maybe also to ‘accidentally’ disable the vocal apparatus? That would be really friendly of them!

From the Huffington Post:

After spending much of the week in Michigan defending his opposition to the 2008 auto bailout, Mitt Romney got acquainted with a different side of the car industry during a visit to Florida’s Daytona International Speedway.

Asked Sunday if he follows racing Romney replied, “Not as closely as some of the most ardent fans, but I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners,” the AP reports.

Not a lie, but not the best truth, either. [HuffPo]

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • ChernobylSoup

    God I wouldn't want to know any of NASCAR's "most ardent fans."

    • Terry

      I have one good thing to say about NASCAR. I knew an elderly lady who had fallen under the spell of a few televangelists. She'd run the tv all day on their shows and end up mailing them most of her social security money. Interventions by her kids and friends didn't really help. One day, a family member showed her a NASCAR race and told her backstories on the various drivers. She began treating NASCAR like a delicious soap opera and would play races and discussions of races endlessly on her tv rather than the televangelists. Instead of sending her money to the preachers, she'd follow the races and occasionally buy herself a tchotchka or two. More money for food, drama to follow and think about, wins all around.

      • freakishlywrong

        So, she chose bread over circus. Good for her.

        • heathenette

          NASCAR is still a circus…just a better one than organized religion. Or different one. I guess.

        • OneDollarJuana

          Actually, she chose circus over the opiate of the masses (hint: circus is latin).

          • Chichikovovich

            She chose the crystal meth of the masses over the opiate of the masses.

            [Ok, ok, crystal meth is the crystal meth of the masses, but think metaphor, people.)

          • Toomush_Infer

            and circus (cirque) is the latin root of circle, I hasten to add….just to flaunt my NASCAR IQlessness about racetracks…..

    • Negropolis

      They drive their houses across the country following the races. They are the Deadheads of the racing world.

      • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

        I don't think "zombie" is capitalized in this usage.

      • UnholyMoses

        As a Deadhead, I will note that NASCAR necks have MUCH better mobile homes.

        And there are less phatty burritos and grilled cheese and nitrous and … **sigh** … those were some great summers.

        Annnnyway, Grand-Am and Le Mans series racing is where it's at — they also have to turn right. (Huge fan of both, as well as F1, especially since the DRS system has increased passing.)

        • nonbeliever7

          Me too…. As in a follower of that socialist European F1 racing. I fully recommend the Montreal race each summer. My marketing pitch to my buddies is "fast cars, real beer and unattainable women".

        • mayor_quimby

          Greetings fellow socialist race fans! I love F1, GT1' le mans, dtm, etc.
          I can't wait for next month to see how Red Bull will find a loophole for the blown exhaust rules, and if that charismatic young German will continue to dominate ( what could go wrong?)
          The upcoming Austin race is the only thing that would make me set foot in god forsaken Tejas again.

    • hagajim

      You mean the Republican base?

    • GOPCrusher

      Yesterday, Yahoo ran a story about the Santorum campaign spent enough money to get his name painted on the side of a car.
      I posted a comment on his pandering to the lowest common denominator of American society.
      The response was that I was an elitist boob.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    I can only imagine Mitt's handlers spent some time googling how to tie a noose last night.

    • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

      I think you're exaggerating. I'm sure they googled that months ago, after they learned he was middle class.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        …and unemployed.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      Are you kidding? He got this advice from his campaign manager, Donald Trump!

      • Swampgas_Man

        Nawww, someone just snuck it on his teleprompter.

        • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

          Sneaky tricksy Kenyans….

  • RedneckMuslin

    It's difficult to tap into the fears of this fan base but driving two caddies might.

  • Dashboard Buddha

    Sooooo, let's see. Quintessential American sport…that was invented in Europe. (although granted, it took an American to turn racing into a spectacle of speedy billboards) Taking a break from a do or die campaign to watch said 200mph billboards. Real presidential there, Mitt. And finally…not fans, not even drivers…but team owners? Words fail.

    • Terry

      NASCAR isn't so much the offspring of fancy European racing as it is of backroad racing and illegal liquor running in the Carolinas.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Yes, I'm pretty sure Dario Franchitti would not enjoy being compared to [Dale Earnhardt] Jr.

        • James Michael Curley

          Or a drunken Robert Mitchum in the original "Thunder Road".

          • Dashboard Buddha

            "drunken Robert Mitchum"

            Was there another kind of Robert Mitchum?

          • SorosBot

            High Robert Mitchum:
            http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,311620,00.html

          • James Michael Curley

            Dead Robert Mitchum?

          • Gunner Asch

            That movie cemented my love affair with the '57 Ford. Had a couple of them over the years and put some nice engines in them. Never much cared for Chevys; you had to reach too far to get to the distributor for all the shade-tree-mechanic'n all those vehicles needed.

          • James Michael Curley

            After a 59 Caddy I went with British Roadsters.  I was more into SCAA then anything else (Northern NJ and NY with all that fantastic scenery up 9W).Although I had a MG-TC in the garage my “buy it through the PX at a ridiculously low price” was a 1969 MGC-GT with the six cylinder engine.  Blindingly fast but handled like a drunken pig.

        • mayor_quimby

          Dario gets better chicks, isn't hi wife Naomi Judd?

          • Negropolis

            No, that's the mamma Judd. He has Ashley; you know, the non-hillbilly Judd.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Well, I was actually referring to the activity of racing automobiles. But, you are correct, NASCAR started with hillbillies trying to get away from them dang revenoors.

        Gotta love it: substance abuse, reckless driving, racism.

        • BaldarTFlagass

          I learned a thing or two from Charlie, dontcha know
          Ya'd better stay away from Copperhead Road.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Hmmm…white dudes running away from taxes.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          There you have the basic appeal. It's surprising that (R)Money isn't a fan.

          • sharethegrief

            He'll become ardent when NASCAR allows dogs on the roofs.

    • BerkeleyBear

      First he claimed it combined his two favorite things, sports and cars. Which is problematic both because no one fucking believes Mitt would risk his 'do huddling with the masses at sporting events or doing anything on a car, and because a huge swath of the population does not view auto racing as a sport. Then you have the whole thing where he insisted on speaking at a drivers meeting, but admits he doesn't know the drivers – thereby pissing off the NASCAR fans who are devoted to "their guys" but view most team owners as elitist scum. Well played all around.

    • yrbmegr

      I'm not a people person, but I have some great friends who are people owners.

  • lefty74

    Kenny Powers could come out of a brokered convention with the nomination.

    • Troubledog

      Have it on good authority Borat is forming an exploratory committee. His supporters are sure the wingnuts will waive the "native born" requirement because Borat has the right positions on women's issues, foreign policy and religion.

      • MosesInvests

        Throw the Jew in the well, so our people can be free….

    • MrFizzy

      Austin Powers would be a good choice too. He's more appropriate than Romney most of the time.

      • BerkeleyBear

        But he's a lousy BRIT, Goddammit! And worse yet, he's played by a Canuckistani!

    • ph7

      "I'm the man who has the nomination. I'm the man who can lead America better than fuck. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my dick… everyone."

  • JoeHoya

    Who among us does not like NASCAR?

    • RedneckMuslin

      *raising hand*

    • SorosBot

      All of us, Katie?

    • freakishlywrong

      Shrill bitch Maureen Dowd?

      • JoeHoya

        I think that's her full name.

    • BaldarTFlagass

      Only if they play hillbilly fiddle music while they're showing it, like in a 1970s Burt Reynolds movie.

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Or the Benny Hill theme song.

    • Arken

      Personally, I think if you get in a car and drive, you should get somewhere other than where you started in the first place.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      I liked it when I was a child…even built models of the cars. Now? Not so much.

    • James Michael Curley

      Did some time, while in college, working at a motorcycle shop that had a 750GP class bike. But other than Daytona, where a bunch of these little tiny guys dressed in yellow came in and kicked ass, most of the tracks were Nelson's Ledges, Watkins Glen and the like twisty, turny tracks. Hated going around in circles.

      • OneDollarJuana

        WSBK Round 1, Philip Island this weekend. Yay! My winter purgatory is over!

        • James Michael Curley

          Checked out the reference since I didn’t know it.  Sure enough, right at the top was a picture of a Yamaha.I have not followed the sport in a couple decades.  Back in 1974 I don’t think loading the Guzzi into the back of the IH van would have got us all the way to Australia.

    • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

      If ya can't see the wheels, it ain't racing.

    • OneDollarJuana

      I like NASCAR just about as much as I like football. 'nuff said.

    • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

      Lessee, somnolent repetitiveness, broken only by fiery crashes perhaps involving death. What's not to like?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        I don't recall the Republican debates involving death.

        • Chichikovovich

          Just a lot of applause for death.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        It's more like career death. Fewer flames, more laughs.

      • mayor_quimby

        Didja see the way Jeff Gordon got flipped on his roof? And how that there uppity broad got put inta tha wall? That's good racin there, I tell u what!

    • FakaktaSouth

      I've already admitted on wonkette that I enjoyed my NASCAR Talladega infield experience with Davey Allison in 1992 – but it might have been all the mushrooms, xanax, wild turkey, funneled beer and weed. It's okay to judge me. That shit was fun.

      • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

        Never been to an auto race. But around 1967, I saw the Yardbirds at a track outside Montgomery. Jimmy Page's pit crew was incredible.

        • FakaktaSouth

          A '67 Jeff Beck (or Clapton or Page) can change my oil anytime – or a 67yo Beck, Clapton or Page. I'm in.

          Edit – see? THIS is how I end up on a youtube spiral starting with the yardbirds and ending with me dancing to Cream (Fave Ginger ever) instead of cleaning my house. Rick Santorum is going to come give me a housewife/harlot demerit I just know it.

    • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

      I did when I was a kid. Even have autographs from a bunch of race drivers like Junior Johnson.

      But like nearly all things, I outgrew it when I gained wisdo–

      Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that's why!!!!!

    • BerkeleyBear

      Well, I wrote a law review article about it (and the IP implications of the government's anti-tobacco regulations) and as a result of that got a reputation as liking it. But really, other than the "Jeff Gordon's Gay" song, never got into it. Of course, at least in NASCAR you get lead changes, whereas F1 is mainly a competition of who can spend the most absurd amount of money so their ride is at the front of the grid when the flag drops.

      • Preferred Customer

        You should do a law review article on F1 as potlatch.

    • RadioSBJ

      Not me. I hate those yellow flags. Just let the fuckers race — like a 200 mph Rollerball.

  • SorosBot

    He's also friends with the owner of the Hair Club for Men, not just a client.

    • SayItWithWookies

      "And I liked it so much, I bankrupted the company!"

    • mrpuma2u

      He's not a doctor, and he didn't play one on TV, but he owns a couple hospitals.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Sorry Mitt, NASCAR fans are more likely to be Santorum voters.

    • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

      This pic. say it all.

      • Fare la Volpe

        That is the filthiest thing to ever appear in print.

      • Abernathy

        Santorum on the rear helps with the slipstream.

    • Abernathy

      And santorum producers.

  • freakishlywrong

    All he needs is a "release the hounds" moment, and really, he's Monty Burns.

    • FNMA

      You say release the hounds; I say strap one to the roof of the family station wagon.

    • LetUsBray

      I see him as more the love child of Monty Burns and Ned Flanders.

      • freakishlywrong

        It's impossible to imagine that we have a candidate of POTUS in U.S America that is actually more of a judgmental, religious zealot than a cartoon caricature of a judgmental, religious zealot. Or, maybe not.

        • LetUsBray

          Oh, I would MUCH rather be governed by stupid Flanders than by Froth-diddly-othy, if, as I gather, that's where you're going here.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        You may be thinking of Santorum.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then fuck you.

  • elburritodeluxe

    I find your auto racing devotion to be puzzling, earth man.

    • MrFizzy

      Take me to your Danica Patrick.

    • yrbmegr

      Where I come from, we race time machines. What's wrong with you humans?

      • SayItWithWookies

        Well, the contest for the GOP nom is a race to the 14th century, so there's that.

  • MrFizzy

    His foot never seems to be out of his mouth. Like a combination of Dan Quayle and W, with hair gel.

  • philpjfry

    As somebody once said somewhere sometime "I like to visit reality, but only as a tourist." Mitt the elite space zombie with no idea of how people live,. or talk, or act or think., or …..

  • EatsBabyDingos

    Asked about baseball, Mr. Romney said "I don't follow the sport, but I know the owners and I like their diamonds."

    • Negropolis

      And, at the utterance of the word "diamonds" Callista's whore-diamond sense went off.

    • Guppy

      Owners like W?

  • Arken

    Come on, guys, who doesn't know a few NASCAR team owners or own a couple of Cadillacs?

    • BerkeleyBear

      Okay, okay. I admit it. I've met a part owner of a NASCAR team once (he was also a driver, and a guy at my firm represented him), and I think I've been in a Cadillac at some point – so I guess I'm part of the Mitt club. Sorta.

    • nonbeliever7

      Isn't the answer to these questions always Hitler?

  • Local_Mojo

    NASCAR is a perfect analogy for the Republican race: men going around and around in a circle in gas-guzzling machines, making deafening noise — for no discernible purpose.

    Ricky Bubba 2012!

    • Guppy

      More like the complete opposite of the GOP: no right turns.

    • OneDollarJuana

      The common image that most have of the declining days of the Roman Empire involve chariot races around the circus and gladiators. Now we have NASCAR and cage-fighting.

      • SorosBot

        Now can we at least get some bread, too?

        • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

          It's nachos now.

    • Negropolis

      Men?

      Danica Patrick libel!

  • BornInATrailer

    Worst and most unnecessary "some of my best friends are" cover story ever.

  • Guppy

    "the Daytona 500, if it ever happens"

    I wouldn't hold my breath.

  • James Michael Curley

    He is working for the "Longest Loosing Presidential Race" Oscar.

    Hey JoeBob, that Oscar thing 's one this week. You know when they drive only Lincolns and Cadillacs 'stead 'o real 'merican stock cars.

    • Chichikovovich

      Mitt Romney – the Harold Stassen of our era.

    • Puffperney

      Not "loosing", it is "losing". Dammit, you hit my pet peeve on the head! Sorry.

      • James Michael Curley

        Sorry, didn’t notice.  I was trying to be too pretentious with the southern dialect and distracted.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    He showed up to watch the race in his hunting camos.

    • Puffperney

      Well, a good portion of the crowd do that too, so, he lucked out.

  • http://wonkette.com Chillwillard

    Mittens is just like Jean Girard in Talladega Nights.

  • Negropolis

    We need a Romney Gaffe Generator, stat!

    • bureaucrap

      why? He's doing such a good job himself!

    • bureaucrap

      But since you asked, I guess it would take the form of something like, "I don't particularly like [race cars, workers, minorities, etc.], but I'm close personal friends with the people that own them."

  • Dashboard Buddha

    OT…but am I the only one who laughs when he sees the Viagra racer?

    • paris biltong

      My air horns runnin' clear.
      Baby you oughta' watch the way I shift my gears.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Taj Mahal version for the win.—

    • RadioSBJ

      Racin' and tradin' paint ain't easy. But it's even tougher with a hard-on.
      Call your doctor if you experience lightheadiness, visual difficulties, or an erection lasting more than four hours.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Should I call my doctor about races that last over 4 hours?—

    • RadioSBJ

      I wonder if he hits the wall harder.

      • Dashboard Buddha

        Only if that wall is tighter, wetter, and crazier than other walls.

  • LiveToServeYa

    He really does need a monocle and cigarette holder. Wait, I'm having a great idea for a re-design of Monopoly: Romnopoly.

  • annettaj

    A-S-P-E-R-G-E-R.

    • BerkeleyBear

      Autism Spectrum Disorder Libel! Mitt's just a standard fuckwad.

    • Dashboard Buddha

      More likely a Python-esque "Upperclass Twit".

      • annettaj

        THAT'S IT!

  • Steverino247

    Mitt's wife drives a couple of Cadillacs? I thought he was married to a rich white woman?

  • Baconzgood

    "I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners"

    See he's a slacked jawed hic everyday beer swilling redneck.

  • FakaktaSouth

    I'm not really a fan of Jews, but I do know a lot of born-again dead Mormons.
    I'm not really a fan of the homeless, but I do know all the slum lords.
    I'm not really a fan of consistency, but I do have a lot of new opinions.
    I'm not really a fan of Detroit, but I do have a shit ton of cars.
    It just goes on and on.

    • Callyson

      I'm not really a fan of the voters, but I do own a lot of the vote counters.
      /summarized.

  • BaldarTFlagass

    NASCAR is certainly a red white and blue sport—the fans all have red necks, are invariably white, and love them some Blue Ribbon.

    • crybabyboehner

      Hank Thompson: "Red Necks, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer."

  • Pragmatist2

    I'll bet $10,000 that his "friends who are NASCAR owners" are of the Caucasian persuasion. Just a guess.

    • Guppy

      More like the "corporate person" persuasion.

    • Texan_Bulldog

      They don't let coloreds into NASCAR–kind of an unwritten NASCAR rule.

      • BerkeleyBear

        Not entirely true. There haven't been any African American NASCAR Sprint/Winston/Good Ole Boy drivers in a while, but there are a few guys at lower levels or on the fringe circuits. Like anything else driven by a corporate ethos, the number one thing stopping them from full time rides at the highest level is money. Specifically, the perception that they can't connect to the fan base blocking them from getting the best sponsorships. So its more tertiary racism than any sort of policy at this point.

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Wonkette awash in carburetors and vee-8s on a Monday morning? Well then, can we fix the Repulglycuntz' final four with restrictor plates before the March Madness starts.

    • Dr_Zoidberg

      Oh, hell no. Take off the plates, let them get those engines going as fast as possible, and then sit back and enjoy the sight of those idiots crashing all over the place.

  • Dr_Zoidberg

    Obviously a lie…Mittens doesn't have friends.

    He has 'acquaintances'.

    • Fare la Volpe

      "Associates."

    • Negropolis

      Otherwise known as business associates/partners and "customers".

    • GOPCrusher

      Quite.

  • http://wonkette.com ManchuCandidate

    So NASCAR fan is the new black friend.

    • Negropolis

      WIN. lol

  • heathenette

    Shit Mitt Romney says

  • Dudleydidwrong

    "I don't live in Michigan any longer but I know people who own it."
    "I don't know anyone who flies coach, but I know the owners of the airline."
    "I don't do my own taxes, but I know the Block brothers."
    "We don't stop at Dairy Queens but I know the company CEO."
    "We eat pizza on occasion but I never knew Herman Cain"

    • James Michael Curley

      Three cheers for Henry & Richard Block who bought Compuserve and ran it into the ground and sold it to Ted Turner while his was in the process of running AOL into the grounds who sold it off to a bunch of nerds living in mom's basement who made it into the most confusing news 'gator on the internet just so Ariana Huffington wouldn't feel out of step.

  • Negropolis

    Hey, now, you guys. Owners are people too, my friends.

    Romney's only saving grace is that he didn't call it "The NASCAR."

  • Negropolis

    OT: The FWUCK!? I just saw an Arizona tourist commercial featuring Jan Brewer on CNN. Some things can't be unseen.

    • Steverino247

      Wasting her time. I won't drive through it. I won't fly there. I won't even take a flight that lands there en route to someplace else. Fuck Arizona.

      • James Michael Curley

        Instead of watching the Oscars I watched "Grapes of Wrath" and "Bound for Glory" back to back. Both movies had people driving through Arizona down US 66. Nobody wanted to stop and they all were going as fast as possible to get through.

    • Limeylizzie

      I have seen that, she looks lovely all sun-dappled doesn't she?

      • Texan_Bulldog

        Two words: Sunscreen, bitch!

        • Negropolis

          Two more words: elocution lessons.

          She sounds like an elementary school student in the commercial…same as always. She needs to drop the baby voice when she's trying to smile to get a point across.

          • Texan_Bulldog

            Yeah, I figure she's too far gone for sunscreen to be of any help. She looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet one too many times. I've read that she has a drinking problem so I bet she's had an interesting life. (Still doesn't excuse her being a total bitch, though.)

          • Negropolis

            You know, in a normal state, Jan Brewer would have never risen above the level of county clerk. I'm scared, because there are fewer and fewer "normal" states these days. I mean, when Wisconsin of all states elects a evangelical Baptist, college drop-out, well, Milwaukee, we have a problem.

            Still, Jan Brewer is the absolute bottom-of-the-barrel.

          • MOG2410

            She was the best they had to offer *shudder*

          • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

            She looks like a long term smoker as well.

          • An_Outhouse

            and why the long sleeve shirts? Surely not to hide the track marks from her junk habit?

        • Guppy

          Anything to protect you from the glare off all the whiteness.

        • MissTaken

          No lie, every morning while I apply my SPF 30 I think of Brewer. She's my anti-aging inspiration.

          Boehner is my inspiration to lay off the vodka.

          • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

            Think of Jan when you floss, too. She has one ill-fitting set of dentures.

    • OneDollarJuana

      Sure it wasn't a stealth ad by the New Mexico tourism bureau?

  • http://www.storycorner.us/ JustPixelz

    NASCAR team owners are job creators. Of course, they are somehow able to create those jobs under rules and regulations that would make OSHA blush.

  • paris biltong

    Do you follow football? No but my son is trying to date Rooney Mara.

    • ChernobylSoup

      Who isn't?

  • __kth__

    'Ardent' is more tin-eared than touting the friendship of team owners. NASCAR fans are second to no sub-sector of white proles in their peasant-like fawning over red-state robber barons. But they feel disrespected if you use words they don't know the meaning of.

    • prommie

      Ahem. Did you mean "of which they don't know the meaning?" Or, "the meaning of which they know not?"

      • __kth__

        Like the man said, that's one of those rules up with which I've never been able to put.

  • Negropolis

    Romney: What are these rubber wheeled, self-propelled chariots of which you amazing wizards speak?

  • Goonemeritus

    Well it’s better than his comments to Ebony Magazine last week where he said that though he wasn’t specifically a fan of black people he was friends with some former owners of black people.

    • BornInATrailer

      Ahh. Perfect.

    • Chichikovovich

      Posts like this are why the editors really ought to be handing out "Post of the Day/Week/Month/Year" awards.

  • Fare la Volpe

    "I don't follow Penelope Pitstop, but I am friends with that Dick Dastardly fellow."

    • Nothingisamiss

      YES.

  • VinnyThePooh

    Wheels from Mitt's bus go in the crowd, in the crowd, in the crowd…

  • http://wonkette.com/ weej_bain

    Looks like Mittens crashed more during the Daytona speed week than Danica Patrick. Is Rmoney slipping on some frothy santorum to cause his Ford Field fumble and now his common manliness lost to being best buddies with the car owners. Like annettaj posted above, Mittens keeps kicking himself in his Asperger.

    • BarackMyWorld

      Mmmm…Danica Patrick….

  • ThundercatHo

    Shake and Bake 2012!

  • paris biltong

    Newt's version: I don't gamble but I'm friends with a casino owner.

    • MrFizzy

      I don't drink coffee, but I fucked Juan Valdez's wife.

    • http://whatisawatthedevolution.blogspot.com imissopus

      That could actually be Mitt's alternate version as well. Or are we only talking about successful casino owners?

  • Guppy

    He's probably still more popular than a blah woman, however.

  • chascates

    Now if you want to talk polo ponies or America's Cup racing Mitt's your man.

    • MissTaken

      Oh fuck me. Mitt probably is one of the assholes who's gonna take over San Francisco next year with their yachts for the America's Cup while bitching about San Francisco 'values'. Ugh.

      • SorosBot

        A bunch of rich douchebags will be descending on your city, to play around with their boats in a race that nobody but rich asshats cares about? Ugh, my sympathies. And maybe some of them will try to pick you up too – that wouldn't be fun.

        • MissTaken

          It's gonna be disgusting. They've already shut down several businesses along the waterfront to make room for the big-ass yachts that will arrive. I may have to plan a trip to Philly at that time…..

          • SorosBot

            Shut down businesses already, over a year in advance? Ugh. That does not sound like a fun time – at least it's smaller than the Olympics, which I've heard really ruins the lives of host city's residents while they're going on. But you know you're welcome at my place any time.

  • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

    Junior Samples: Hey bus driver! Do you sell round-trip tickets?

    Archie: Sure do, son. Where do you want to go?

    Junior: Right back here.

  • Chichikovovich

    Remember when Fox News went all wacky over the picture of "elitist" Kerry windsurfing? Man, they'll be all over this. Wall-to-Wall coverage, right?

    • BarackMyWorld

      Fair and balanced!

    • freakishlywrong

      Right.

    • SayItWithWookies

      No, but his sous chef does.

    • http://zvibleindmeis.tumblr.com/ Spurning Beer

      Grey Poupon.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    "Born with a silver foot in his mouth."

    -Ann Richards

  • MissTaken

    GOP Demolition Derby would be all kinds of awesome.

    • LesBontemps

      Isn't that what we're watching already?

    • SorosBot

      Or gladiatorial matches – "Gov. Perry, Rep. Bachmann, you have tied for last place in Iowa; now you fight for the right to survive and move on to the next primary."

    • Fare la Volpe

      It feels like the GOP is already playing Death Race 2000 with the groups they're running over:

      Women – 20 points
      Olds – 30 points
      Blacks – 40 points
      Gays – 60 points
      Muslims – 100 points
      Old Black Muslim Lesbians – 10,000 points!

  • http://www.eloquentscience.com EloquentScience

    I don't find Mitt's comment too surprising. After all, there aren't many Mormon NASCAR drivers.

  • James Michael Curley

    Since Mitten's Massholery is in the news so much, it reminds me of a joke I heard up there decades ago.

    A businessman arriving in Boston decided to go find a good seafood restaurant and asked a cab driver, "Do you know where I can get Scrod around here?"
    The cabdriver said. "I know a few places… but it's not often I hear someone use the past subjunctive anymore!"

    Where else but Bahsten.

    • snackypants

      Ah, it's been a long time since I heard said joke. This English major thanks you for the sweet reminder.

  • prommie

    He is the second coming of George H. W. Bush, complete with, in the words of Ann Richards, the silver foot in his mouth.

  • http://johnnyzhivago.blogspot.com johnnyzhivago

    "I'm not really an American, just friends with some of the people who own the country"

  • elburritodeluxe

    Not a NASCAR fan? This is like admitting that you sip white wine while watching Downton Abbey with your same-sex partner. In France.

  • WinterOuthouse

    This fucker has no instincts.

  • Toomush_Infer

    Someone should really do a study on political death wishes….

  • DahBoner

    People who wanted to let Detroit go bankrupt are Republican tools too, my friends…

  • Manhattan123

    NASCAR team owners are people too, my friend.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/mrblifil mrblifil

    What I'm wondering is: Why is Mitt always hanging around the pit stop asking questions about lube?

  • Preferred Customer

    Mitt has not really cared for the NASCAR since AMC stopped entering Matadors and sold itself to the French.

  • RadioSBJ

    He likes to meet his friends in quiet rooms.

  • http://howtosavetheworld.ca/ BZ1

    Thurston Howell III in a NASCAR race car, perish the thought …

  • Redhead

    "My wife's a bigger fan than I am," he added. "I think two or three of her cars are Nascar cars."

  • DahBoner

    The People of Michgan: WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP…

  • CapeClod

    "How are you spending the weekend, Mr. Romney?"

    "The week-end? What's that?"

    • Jerri

      The Dowager Countess approves of this comment.

  • ttommyunger

    What. A. Doosh! Almost enough to make me feel sorry for him…..Almost, but not quite.

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    Bahahaha, “dermal crocodiling” ftw.

  • Nostrildamus

    Romney is an idiot. I blame Obama.

  • Puffperney

    Kansas isn't completely stupid, the Kansas lottery commission runs the newly opened "Hollywood Casino" right next to the big NASCAR track in K.C., Kansas.

    Product correlation my friends!

  • Veritas78

    Mitt is the poster boy for the 100% inheritance tax. He might not be a bad candidate if he could buy a clue, but with all his money — he can't. He suffers the curse of wealth.

  • Puffperney

    Man, if I was anywhere near as rich as Romney, I would so be driving a Maybach Exelero!
    (…though Janis Joplin's psychedelic Porsche ragtop would be good too.)

  • http://wonkette.com/ starfanglednut

    WIN.

  • http://simplyleftbehind.blogspot.com/ actor212

    And Cayman Island vaults

  • Terry

    …and via the hiring of many accountants.

  • BerkeleyBear

    And Perrier.