Richie Rich over here just cannot stop reminding everyone that he’s a special and obscenely wealthy snowflake. Mitt won’t be watching the Daytona 500, if it ever happens, ’cause he’s not a huge racing fan but HAHAHA some of his best friends do own racing teams, he quickly jostles to add for some damn reason. Could these team owners maybe get M.I.T.T. a new pit crew, to do a little much needed maintenance, oh, and maybe also to ‘accidentally’ disable the vocal apparatus? That would be really friendly of them!
From the Huffington Post:
After spending much of the week in Michigan defending his opposition to the 2008 auto bailout, Mitt Romney got acquainted with a different side of the car industry during a visit to Florida’s Daytona International Speedway.
Asked Sunday if he follows racing Romney replied, “Not as closely as some of the most ardent fans, but I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners,” the AP reports.
Not a lie, but not the best truth, either. [HuffPo]
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God I wouldn't want to know any of NASCAR's "most ardent fans."
I have one good thing to say about NASCAR. I knew an elderly lady who had fallen under the spell of a few televangelists. She'd run the tv all day on their shows and end up mailing them most of her social security money. Interventions by her kids and friends didn't really help. One day, a family member showed her a NASCAR race and told her backstories on the various drivers. She began treating NASCAR like a delicious soap opera and would play races and discussions of races endlessly on her tv rather than the televangelists. Instead of sending her money to the preachers, she'd follow the races and occasionally buy herself a tchotchka or two. More money for food, drama to follow and think about, wins all around.
So, she chose bread over circus. Good for her.
NASCAR is still a circus…just a better one than organized religion. Or different one. I guess.
Actually, she chose circus over the opiate of the masses (hint: circus is latin).
She chose the crystal meth of the masses over the opiate of the masses.
[Ok, ok, crystal meth is the crystal meth of the masses, but think metaphor, people.)
and circus (cirque) is the latin root of circle, I hasten to add….just to flaunt my NASCAR IQlessness about racetracks…..
They drive their houses across the country following the races. They are the Deadheads of the racing world.
I don't think "zombie" is capitalized in this usage.
As a Deadhead, I will note that NASCAR necks have MUCH better mobile homes.
And there are less phatty burritos and grilled cheese and nitrous and … **sigh** … those were some great summers.
Annnnyway, Grand-Am and Le Mans series racing is where it's at — they also have to turn right. (Huge fan of both, as well as F1, especially since the DRS system has increased passing.)
Me too…. As in a follower of that socialist European F1 racing. I fully recommend the Montreal race each summer. My marketing pitch to my buddies is "fast cars, real beer and unattainable women".
Greetings fellow socialist race fans! I love F1, GT1' le mans, dtm, etc.
I can't wait for next month to see how Red Bull will find a loophole for the blown exhaust rules, and if that charismatic young German will continue to dominate ( what could go wrong?)
The upcoming Austin race is the only thing that would make me set foot in god forsaken Tejas again.
You mean the Republican base?
Yesterday, Yahoo ran a story about the Santorum campaign spent enough money to get his name painted on the side of a car.
I posted a comment on his pandering to the lowest common denominator of American society.
The response was that I was an elitist boob.
I can only imagine Mitt's handlers spent some time googling how to tie a noose last night.
I think you're exaggerating. I'm sure they googled that months ago, after they learned he was middle class.
…and unemployed.
Are you kidding? He got this advice from his campaign manager, Donald Trump!
Nawww, someone just snuck it on his teleprompter.
Sneaky tricksy Kenyans….
It's difficult to tap into the fears of this fan base but driving two caddies might.
Sooooo, let's see. Quintessential American sport…that was invented in Europe. (although granted, it took an American to turn racing into a spectacle of speedy billboards) Taking a break from a do or die campaign to watch said 200mph billboards. Real presidential there, Mitt. And finally…not fans, not even drivers…but team owners? Words fail.
NASCAR isn't so much the offspring of fancy European racing as it is of backroad racing and illegal liquor running in the Carolinas.
Yes, I'm pretty sure Dario Franchitti would not enjoy being compared to [Dale Earnhardt] Jr.
Or a drunken Robert Mitchum in the original "Thunder Road".
"drunken Robert Mitchum"
Was there another kind of Robert Mitchum?
That movie cemented my love affair with the '57 Ford. Had a couple of them over the years and put some nice engines in them. Never much cared for Chevys; you had to reach too far to get to the distributor for all the shade-tree-mechanic'n all those vehicles needed.
Dario gets better chicks, isn't hi wife Naomi Judd?
No, that's the mamma Judd. He has Ashley; you know, the non-hillbilly Judd.
Well, I was actually referring to the activity of racing automobiles. But, you are correct, NASCAR started with hillbillies trying to get away from them dang revenoors.
Gotta love it: substance abuse, reckless driving, racism.
I learned a thing or two from Charlie, dontcha know
Ya'd better stay away from Copperhead Road.
Hmmm…white dudes running away from taxes.
There you have the basic appeal. It's surprising that (R)Money isn't a fan.
He'll become ardent when NASCAR allows dogs on the roofs.
First he claimed it combined his two favorite things, sports and cars. Which is problematic both because no one fucking believes Mitt would risk his 'do huddling with the masses at sporting events or doing anything on a car, and because a huge swath of the population does not view auto racing as a sport. Then you have the whole thing where he insisted on speaking at a drivers meeting, but admits he doesn't know the drivers – thereby pissing off the NASCAR fans who are devoted to "their guys" but view most team owners as elitist scum. Well played all around.
I'm not a people person, but I have some great friends who are people owners.
Kenny Powers could come out of a brokered convention with the nomination.
Have it on good authority Borat is forming an exploratory committee. His supporters are sure the wingnuts will waive the "native born" requirement because Borat has the right positions on women's issues, foreign policy and religion.
Throw the Jew in the well, so our people can be free….
Austin Powers would be a good choice too. He's more appropriate than Romney most of the time.
But he's a lousy BRIT, Goddammit! And worse yet, he's played by a Canuckistani!
"I'm the man who has the nomination. I'm the man who can lead America better than fuck. So that is why i am better than everyone in the world. Kiss my ass and suck my dick… everyone."
Who among us does not like NASCAR?
*raising hand*
All of us, Katie?
Shrill bitch Maureen Dowd?
I think that's her full name.
Only if they play hillbilly fiddle music while they're showing it, like in a 1970s Burt Reynolds movie.
Or the Benny Hill theme song.
Personally, I think if you get in a car and drive, you should get somewhere other than where you started in the first place.
I liked it when I was a child…even built models of the cars. Now? Not so much.
Did some time, while in college, working at a motorcycle shop that had a 750GP class bike. But other than Daytona, where a bunch of these little tiny guys dressed in yellow came in and kicked ass, most of the tracks were Nelson's Ledges, Watkins Glen and the like twisty, turny tracks. Hated going around in circles.
WSBK Round 1, Philip Island this weekend. Yay! My winter purgatory is over!
Checked out the reference since I didn’t know it. Sure enough, right at the top was a picture of a Yamaha.I have not followed the sport in a couple decades. Back in 1974 I don’t think loading the Guzzi into the back of the IH van would have got us all the way to Australia.
If ya can't see the wheels, it ain't racing.
I like NASCAR just about as much as I like football. 'nuff said.
Lessee, somnolent repetitiveness, broken only by fiery crashes perhaps involving death. What's not to like?
I don't recall the Republican debates involving death.
Just a lot of applause for death.
It's more like career death. Fewer flames, more laughs.
Didja see the way Jeff Gordon got flipped on his roof? And how that there uppity broad got put inta tha wall? That's good racin there, I tell u what!
I've already admitted on wonkette that I enjoyed my NASCAR Talladega infield experience with Davey Allison in 1992 – but it might have been all the mushrooms, xanax, wild turkey, funneled beer and weed. It's okay to judge me. That shit was fun.
Never been to an auto race. But around 1967, I saw the Yardbirds at a track outside Montgomery. Jimmy Page's pit crew was incredible.
A '67 Jeff Beck (or Clapton or Page) can change my oil anytime – or a 67yo Beck, Clapton or Page. I'm in.
Edit – see? THIS is how I end up on a youtube spiral starting with the yardbirds and ending with me dancing to Cream (Fave Ginger ever) instead of cleaning my house. Rick Santorum is going to come give me a housewife/harlot demerit I just know it.
I did when I was a kid. Even have autographs from a bunch of race drivers like Junior Johnson.
But like nearly all things, I outgrew it when I gained wisdo–
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that's why!!!!!
Well, I wrote a law review article about it (and the IP implications of the government's anti-tobacco regulations) and as a result of that got a reputation as liking it. But really, other than the "Jeff Gordon's Gay" song, never got into it. Of course, at least in NASCAR you get lead changes, whereas F1 is mainly a competition of who can spend the most absurd amount of money so their ride is at the front of the grid when the flag drops.
You should do a law review article on F1 as potlatch.
Not me. I hate those yellow flags. Just let the fuckers race — like a 200 mph Rollerball.
He's also friends with the owner of the Hair Club for Men, not just a client.
"And I liked it so much, I bankrupted the company!"
He's not a doctor, and he didn't play one on TV, but he owns a couple hospitals.
Sorry Mitt, NASCAR fans are more likely to be Santorum voters.
This pic. say it all.
That is the filthiest thing to ever appear in print.
Santorum on the rear helps with the slipstream.
And santorum producers.
All he needs is a "release the hounds" moment, and really, he's Monty Burns.
You say release the hounds; I say strap one to the roof of the family station wagon.
I see him as more the love child of Monty Burns and Ned Flanders.
It's impossible to imagine that we have a candidate of POTUS in U.S America that is actually more of a judgmental, religious zealot than a cartoon caricature of a judgmental, religious zealot. Or, maybe not.
Oh, I would MUCH rather be governed by stupid Flanders than by Froth-diddly-othy, if, as I gather, that's where you're going here.
You may be thinking of Santorum.
Hi, I'm Ricky Bobby. If you don't chew Big Red, then fuck you.
I find your auto racing devotion to be puzzling, earth man.
Take me to your Danica Patrick.
Where I come from, we race time machines. What's wrong with you humans?
Well, the contest for the GOP nom is a race to the 14th century, so there's that.
His foot never seems to be out of his mouth. Like a combination of Dan Quayle and W, with hair gel.
As somebody once said somewhere sometime "I like to visit reality, but only as a tourist." Mitt the elite space zombie with no idea of how people live,. or talk, or act or think., or …..
Asked about baseball, Mr. Romney said "I don't follow the sport, but I know the owners and I like their diamonds."
And, at the utterance of the word "diamonds" Callista's whore-diamond sense went off.
Owners like W?
Come on, guys, who doesn't know a few NASCAR team owners or own a couple of Cadillacs?
Okay, okay. I admit it. I've met a part owner of a NASCAR team once (he was also a driver, and a guy at my firm represented him), and I think I've been in a Cadillac at some point – so I guess I'm part of the Mitt club. Sorta.
Isn't the answer to these questions always Hitler?
NASCAR is a perfect analogy for the Republican race: men going around and around in a circle in gas-guzzling machines, making deafening noise — for no discernible purpose.
Ricky Bubba 2012!
More like the complete opposite of the GOP: no right turns.
The common image that most have of the declining days of the Roman Empire involve chariot races around the circus and gladiators. Now we have NASCAR and cage-fighting.
Now can we at least get some bread, too?
It's nachos now.
Men?
Danica Patrick libel!
Worst and most unnecessary "some of my best friends are" cover story ever.
"the Daytona 500, if it ever happens"
I wouldn't hold my breath.
He is working for the "Longest Loosing Presidential Race" Oscar.
Hey JoeBob, that Oscar thing 's one this week. You know when they drive only Lincolns and Cadillacs 'stead 'o real 'merican stock cars.
Mitt Romney – the Harold Stassen of our era.
Not "loosing", it is "losing". Dammit, you hit my pet peeve on the head! Sorry.
Sorry, didn’t notice. I was trying to be too pretentious with the southern dialect and distracted.
He showed up to watch the race in his hunting camos.
Well, a good portion of the crowd do that too, so, he lucked out.
Mittens is just like Jean Girard in Talladega Nights.
We need a Romney Gaffe Generator, stat!
why? He's doing such a good job himself!
But since you asked, I guess it would take the form of something like, "I don't particularly like [race cars, workers, minorities, etc.], but I'm close personal friends with the people that own them."
OT…but am I the only one who laughs when he sees the Viagra racer?
My air horns runnin' clear.
Baby you oughta' watch the way I shift my gears.
Taj Mahal version for the win.—
Racin' and tradin' paint ain't easy. But it's even tougher with a hard-on.
Call your doctor if you experience lightheadiness, visual difficulties, or an erection lasting more than four hours.
Should I call my doctor about races that last over 4 hours?—
I wonder if he hits the wall harder.
Only if that wall is tighter, wetter, and crazier than other walls.
He really does need a monocle and cigarette holder. Wait, I'm having a great idea for a re-design of Monopoly: Romnopoly.
A-S-P-E-R-G-E-R.
Autism Spectrum Disorder Libel! Mitt's just a standard fuckwad.
More likely a Python-esque "Upperclass Twit".
THAT'S IT!
Mitt's wife drives a couple of Cadillacs? I thought he was married to a rich white woman?
"I have some friends who are NASCAR team owners"
See he's a slacked jawed hic everyday beer swilling redneck.
I'm not really a fan of Jews, but I do know a lot of born-again dead Mormons.
I'm not really a fan of the homeless, but I do know all the slum lords.
I'm not really a fan of consistency, but I do have a lot of new opinions.
I'm not really a fan of Detroit, but I do have a shit ton of cars.
It just goes on and on.
I'm not really a fan of the voters, but I do own a lot of the vote counters.
/summarized.
NASCAR is certainly a red white and blue sport—the fans all have red necks, are invariably white, and love them some Blue Ribbon.
Hank Thompson: "Red Necks, White Socks and Blue Ribbon Beer."
I'll bet $10,000 that his "friends who are NASCAR owners" are of the Caucasian persuasion. Just a guess.
More like the "corporate person" persuasion.
They don't let coloreds into NASCAR–kind of an unwritten NASCAR rule.
Not entirely true. There haven't been any African American NASCAR Sprint/Winston/Good Ole Boy drivers in a while, but there are a few guys at lower levels or on the fringe circuits. Like anything else driven by a corporate ethos, the number one thing stopping them from full time rides at the highest level is money. Specifically, the perception that they can't connect to the fan base blocking them from getting the best sponsorships. So its more tertiary racism than any sort of policy at this point.
Wonkette awash in carburetors and vee-8s on a Monday morning? Well then, can we fix the Repulglycuntz' final four with restrictor plates before the March Madness starts.
Oh, hell no. Take off the plates, let them get those engines going as fast as possible, and then sit back and enjoy the sight of those idiots crashing all over the place.
Obviously a lie…Mittens doesn't have friends.
He has 'acquaintances'.
"Associates."
Otherwise known as business associates/partners and "customers".
Quite.
So NASCAR fan is the new black friend.
WIN. lol
Shit Mitt Romney says
"I don't live in Michigan any longer but I know people who own it."
"I don't know anyone who flies coach, but I know the owners of the airline."
"I don't do my own taxes, but I know the Block brothers."
"We don't stop at Dairy Queens but I know the company CEO."
"We eat pizza on occasion but I never knew Herman Cain"
Three cheers for Henry & Richard Block who bought Compuserve and ran it into the ground and sold it to Ted Turner while his was in the process of running AOL into the grounds who sold it off to a bunch of nerds living in mom's basement who made it into the most confusing news 'gator on the internet just so Ariana Huffington wouldn't feel out of step.
Hey, now, you guys. Owners are people too, my friends.
Romney's only saving grace is that he didn't call it "The NASCAR."
OT: The FWUCK!? I just saw an Arizona tourist commercial featuring Jan Brewer on CNN. Some things can't be unseen.
Wasting her time. I won't drive through it. I won't fly there. I won't even take a flight that lands there en route to someplace else. Fuck Arizona.
Instead of watching the Oscars I watched "Grapes of Wrath" and "Bound for Glory" back to back. Both movies had people driving through Arizona down US 66. Nobody wanted to stop and they all were going as fast as possible to get through.
I have seen that, she looks lovely all sun-dappled doesn't she?
Two words: Sunscreen, bitch!
Two more words: elocution lessons.
She sounds like an elementary school student in the commercial…same as always. She needs to drop the baby voice when she's trying to smile to get a point across.
Yeah, I figure she's too far gone for sunscreen to be of any help. She looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet one too many times. I've read that she has a drinking problem so I bet she's had an interesting life. (Still doesn't excuse her being a total bitch, though.)
Anything to protect you from the glare off all the whiteness.
No lie, every morning while I apply my SPF 30 I think of Brewer. She's my anti-aging inspiration.
Boehner is my inspiration to lay off the vodka.
Think of Jan when you floss, too. She has one ill-fitting set of dentures.
Sure it wasn't a stealth ad by the New Mexico tourism bureau?
NASCAR team owners are job creators. Of course, they are somehow able to create those jobs under rules and regulations that would make OSHA blush.
Do you follow football? No but my son is trying to date Rooney Mara.
Who isn't?
'Ardent' is more tin-eared than touting the friendship of team owners. NASCAR fans are second to no sub-sector of white proles in their peasant-like fawning over red-state robber barons. But they feel disrespected if you use words they don't know the meaning of.
Ahem. Did you mean "of which they don't know the meaning?" Or, "the meaning of which they know not?"
Like the man said, that's one of those rules up with which I've never been able to put.
Romney: What are these rubber wheeled, self-propelled chariots of which you amazing wizards speak?
Well it’s better than his comments to Ebony Magazine last week where he said that though he wasn’t specifically a fan of black people he was friends with some former owners of black people.
Ahh. Perfect.
Posts like this are why the editors really ought to be handing out "Post of the Day/Week/Month/Year" awards.
"I don't follow Penelope Pitstop, but I am friends with that Dick Dastardly fellow."
YES.
Wheels from Mitt's bus go in the crowd, in the crowd, in the crowd…
Looks like Mittens crashed more during the Daytona speed week than Danica Patrick. Is Rmoney slipping on some frothy santorum to cause his Ford Field fumble and now his common manliness lost to being best buddies with the car owners. Like annettaj posted above, Mittens keeps kicking himself in his Asperger.
Mmmm…Danica Patrick….
Shake and Bake 2012!
Newt's version: I don't gamble but I'm friends with a casino owner.
I don't drink coffee, but I fucked Juan Valdez's wife.
That could actually be Mitt's alternate version as well. Or are we only talking about successful casino owners?
He's probably still more popular than a blah woman, however.
Now if you want to talk polo ponies or America's Cup racing Mitt's your man.
Oh fuck me. Mitt probably is one of the assholes who's gonna take over San Francisco next year with their yachts for the America's Cup while bitching about San Francisco 'values'. Ugh.
A bunch of rich douchebags will be descending on your city, to play around with their boats in a race that nobody but rich asshats cares about? Ugh, my sympathies. And maybe some of them will try to pick you up too – that wouldn't be fun.
It's gonna be disgusting. They've already shut down several businesses along the waterfront to make room for the big-ass yachts that will arrive. I may have to plan a trip to Philly at that time…..
Shut down businesses already, over a year in advance? Ugh. That does not sound like a fun time – at least it's smaller than the Olympics, which I've heard really ruins the lives of host city's residents while they're going on. But you know you're welcome at my place any time.
Junior Samples: Hey bus driver! Do you sell round-trip tickets?
Archie: Sure do, son. Where do you want to go?
Junior: Right back here.
Remember when Fox News went all wacky over the picture of "elitist" Kerry windsurfing? Man, they'll be all over this. Wall-to-Wall coverage, right?
Fair and balanced!
Right.
No, but his sous chef does.
Grey Poupon.
"Born with a silver foot in his mouth."
-Ann Richards
GOP Demolition Derby would be all kinds of awesome.
Isn't that what we're watching already?
Or gladiatorial matches – "Gov. Perry, Rep. Bachmann, you have tied for last place in Iowa; now you fight for the right to survive and move on to the next primary."
It feels like the GOP is already playing Death Race 2000 with the groups they're running over:
Women – 20 points
Olds – 30 points
Blacks – 40 points
Gays – 60 points
Muslims – 100 points
Old Black Muslim Lesbians – 10,000 points!
I don't find Mitt's comment too surprising. After all, there aren't many Mormon NASCAR drivers.
Since Mitten's Massholery is in the news so much, it reminds me of a joke I heard up there decades ago.
A businessman arriving in Boston decided to go find a good seafood restaurant and asked a cab driver, "Do you know where I can get Scrod around here?"
The cabdriver said. "I know a few places… but it's not often I hear someone use the past subjunctive anymore!"
Where else but Bahsten.
Ah, it's been a long time since I heard said joke. This English major thanks you for the sweet reminder.
He is the second coming of George H. W. Bush, complete with, in the words of Ann Richards, the silver foot in his mouth.
"I'm not really an American, just friends with some of the people who own the country"
Not a NASCAR fan? This is like admitting that you sip white wine while watching Downton Abbey with your same-sex partner. In France.
This fucker has no instincts.
Someone should really do a study on political death wishes….
People who wanted to let Detroit go bankrupt are Republican tools too, my friends…
NASCAR team owners are people too, my friend.
What I'm wondering is: Why is Mitt always hanging around the pit stop asking questions about lube?
Mitt has not really cared for the NASCAR since AMC stopped entering Matadors and sold itself to the French.
He likes to meet his friends in quiet rooms.
Thurston Howell III in a NASCAR race car, perish the thought …
"My wife's a bigger fan than I am," he added. "I think two or three of her cars are Nascar cars."
The People of Michgan: WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP…
"How are you spending the weekend, Mr. Romney?"
"The week-end? What's that?"
The Dowager Countess approves of this comment.
What. A. Doosh! Almost enough to make me feel sorry for him…..Almost, but not quite.
Bahahaha, “dermal crocodiling” ftw.
Romney is an idiot. I blame Obama.
Kansas isn't completely stupid, the Kansas lottery commission runs the newly opened "Hollywood Casino" right next to the big NASCAR track in K.C., Kansas.
Product correlation my friends!
Mitt is the poster boy for the 100% inheritance tax. He might not be a bad candidate if he could buy a clue, but with all his money — he can't. He suffers the curse of wealth.
Man, if I was anywhere near as rich as Romney, I would so be driving a Maybach Exelero!
(…though Janis Joplin's psychedelic Porsche ragtop would be good too.)
WIN.
You know, in a normal state, Jan Brewer would have never risen above the level of county clerk. I'm scared, because there are fewer and fewer "normal" states these days. I mean, when Wisconsin of all states elects a evangelical Baptist, college drop-out, well, Milwaukee, we have a problem.
Still, Jan Brewer is the absolute bottom-of-the-barrel.
She looks like a long term smoker as well.
and why the long sleeve shirts? Surely not to hide the track marks from her junk habit?
And Cayman Island vaults
…and via the hiring of many accountants.
And Perrier.
High Robert Mitchum:
http://www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,311620,00.html
Dead Robert Mitchum?
She was the best they had to offer *shudder*
After a 59 Caddy I went with British Roadsters. I was more into SCAA then anything else (Northern NJ and NY with all that fantastic scenery up 9W).Although I had a MG-TC in the garage my “buy it through the PX at a ridiculously low price” was a 1969 MGC-GT with the six cylinder engine. Blindingly fast but handled like a drunken pig.
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