World’s most overcompensating de facto dictator hump-monster Silvio Berlusconi made a dumb joke that he would like to rename his sagging political party Forza Gnocca, or “Go Pussy” in English, to prove his central lifelong argument that he has a penis. Most everyone in Italy long ago grew bored of this insecure toad and wearily told him to go sod off, but notably, he got support for the joke from one camp:
Berlusconi’s latest use of the term embarrassed some supporters, but Alessandra Mussolini, the granddaughter of the Benito Mussolini and a Berlusconi MP called the quip “splendid”, adding “it means he considers us protagonists.”
In other news, the Mussolinis are still insane. Some things stay the same, etc. [Guardian]
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He's just following in the Teabaggers footsteps.
Thank God he isn't following Katarenza's lead.
Although I wonder if she 'inspired' him to make this quip…
Snatched from the headlines….
Man, you whip out those puns fast, and don't beat around the bush.
I think this must be deeply probed.
Since it's Friday, I think we should make a reference to" Nature’s Tufted Treasure" in every post that we make for the rest of the day. Maybe it will be like saying "Beetlejuice" thrice and will make Sara Benincasa appear.
Well every one of your comments already has a cute pussy sitting on it.
Oh God, you just made me choke on a fun sized Twix bar. Tears are streaming down my face. Hurt like hell but was so worth it, thanks!*
* that's what she said.
"Natures Tufted Treasure" is fantastic, it sounds like a title for a PBS documentary (Sir Richard Attenborough takes us on an extraordinary journey into a world familiar yet exotic…) Thanks for a great new hoo-hah euphemism.
What do Berlusconi and panty hose have in common?
They both irritate bush.
Curtains for Berlusconi!
Beef.
My punk brother used to have a band called: Snatch Factory!
(They had a female drummer.)
Berlusconi would probably quit the party once it turned 18.
Ladytron – Seventeen
You know who else's jokes the Mussolini's laughed at?
That German paper hanger's?
Dante's?
Machiavelli's?
On the contrary, he took The Prince literally. That was the problem.
Maybe someone should tell the Kochs…
Wait, I thought Prince was Blanket's brother?
That Divine Comedy was a laugh riot!
Eggzactly. Obvs, Dante was a Johnny Cash fan…
♪♫ I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down and the flames went higher
And it burns, burns, burns, the ring of fire
The ring of fire ♫♪
May I recommend Frank Zappa's inspired take on that song?
Curly Howard's?
Roberto Benigni?
Chico Marx's?
Von Ribbentrop's?
Charlie Chaplin's?
(Except for the parts of "The Great Dictator" where he was being lampooned, of course.)
Clara Petacci?
Neville Chamberlain's?
I went to Olive Garden the other night and I'm pretty sure I had some Gnocca as an appetizer.
You went to Olive Garden? It was probably Ratto alla Marinara then.
I prefer eating Gnocca at home. It's much better and the waitpersons don't get all upset and start talking about calling the cops.
How else am I going to measure my fully erect penis to a breadstick?
There's a cunnilingus joke in there somewhere.
padrone delle linguette
Try their gnocca with puttanesca sauce!
not sure if I want to upfist this one or not
This is good news for Giada DeLaurentis.
I just love her Cooking With Cleavage show on the Food Network.
It's like porn for the whole family!
LOL!
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lb2ztnEtOj1qzws...
ROTFLMAO!
How did you know it was gnocca? All waitstaff at Olive Garden, male and female, look like David Bowie, c. 1984.
H/T Chuck Klosterman
"Go girl . . . . . . 's naughty bits!"
Following in Bennie's
footstepstracks, il Cavaliere has made pulling train run on time.That reminds me…I had a European history professor tell us there's no way Mussolini could've made the trains run on time because "Have you been to Italy?"
I'm sure Garfield, Felix, Sylvester, Tom, Bill, and Snowballs I through III would have something to say about that. They would NOT want to be associated with such despicable (or, as Sylvester would say, "Des-thickable!") people.
On the other paw, Snagglepuss says "Heavens to Murgatroyd! That is such an honor!"
Seems like Dickhead would be a more appropriate name, what’s that in Italian?
Berlusconi?
Capo di putzo?
Benedictus XVI?
But isn't that Prussian and not Italian?
"Testa di cazzo," singore Grumpe
Merci.
Stronzo di merda! **throws hands in the air**
Btw, wasn't "Forza Gnocca" one of the characters in the Sopranos?
Maybe, but I'm pretty sure it is a make of Ferrari.
Well, almost. And damn, I wanted one…
The Official Monster Raving Cunty Party.
Screaming Lord Snatch!
"…backward, vulgar and squalid."
Love it when I see a new line for my profile.
Go, asshole. No, that's not a suggestion for a name.
Berlusconi: Il Douche.
Sorry, but Rudy snatched that nickname a long time ago.
Bunga Bunga indeed.
Way to reinforce your races Jersey Shore pigeonhole ass wipe.
Who are they going to elect next, The Situation?
Come on prommie, you and me – to the land of da VInci. Apparently sick fucks like us could run Italy just the way they like it…
The Sick Fuck Party! I'm in. It seems they like it good and hard.
I'm glad MTV sent those douchebags over there, but would be even more glad if they'd leave them there.
No, he's too classy.
Subscriptions for the Italian-language version of Cat Fancy just ticked up a bit.
If the Freedom Party is the protagonist, it's of a satyr play and not some great tragedy.
But I thought Erik Satyr was French? Oh, wait–
Good old Italy it seems only yesterday that no party really wanted to win control and kidnap victims were the only reliable currency.
Here's a Wonkette-worthy article (in French, alas) about Berlusconi flying to Moscow to celebrate Vladimir Putin's birthday, and also about the "women ready to strip for Putin" who are also celebrating it:
http://bigbrowser.blog.lemonde.fr/2011/10/07/joie...
In other news, the Chinese, who came up with their own version of the Nobel Peace Prize after it was awarded to Liu Xiaobo last year, have this year nominated: Vladimir Putin.
Here in the United States, the GOP has positioned itself as the party of "no pussy!"
Democrats, on the other hand, are just all-around pussies.
Funny thing is many male republicans aren't interested in pussy at all so it works for them.
If only the Italian & world media would adopt a "Berlusconi Minus Berlusconi" approach to covering this anal wart.
Slightly OT, but Berlusconi's spawn is even creepier than old Silvio (how is it even possible?!?). Behold: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/oct/11/berlu...
Amusing bit from the article:
Before passing an immunity law in 2008 covering himself and three other government officials, Berlusconi was facing a charge of paying a £430,000 bribe to tax consultant David Mills to give evidence in his favour in Italian trials.
Yesterday Mills offered to act as a defence witness in any criminal trial Berlusconi may now face: "I will give evidence in his trial and I will explain why he had absolutely nothing to do with the payment concerned and that he is completely innocent of any corrupt activity at all."
Even Fellini would have to say, "You can't make this stuff up."
Say what you will about Alessandra Mussolini; at least she can make the trim run on time.
To be more accurate, shouldn't that be the "Go Underage Prostitute Pussy Party"?
Go pussy? Well, considering that Berlusconi has to pay for it, this seems to be an apt title for a party he's leading. Pussy is in fact going…going as far away from him as it can get…
I was about to ask, what's it going for these days?
Somewhere in Italy there's an empty lamppost just waiting for some rope…
Sinatra would have had no problem with it.
http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10172007
I'm naming my party the "Balloon Knot Party." Enter around the back.
I wonder if the Italian Parliament's drapes match the carpet.
Big Pussy is dead.
Makes you wonder what Rick Perry would rename the Republican Party if he gets elected.
I'm going with the "Fuck 'Em and Feed 'Em Beans" party. But only because the Lemon Party was too obvious, and the White Party was too gay.
Good idea, but "beans" would just remind the Republican Base that he loves him some Mexicans.
I love "Variations on a You Know Who Else Theme" by Niccolò Paganini!
Well, since Niggerhead is already taken by his ranch, it's definitely not going to be that. I think he'll decide by putting his named boots in a bag, and pick out two of them and see what the name is.
Mayhaps the Texas Justice Party?
There has to be a Bill Clinton joke here, but I'm just not finding it.
The "Arkansas Humidor" Party. Means the same thing, really.
Here in Arkansas, the term 'humidor' is used to describe the period from roughly May through early September. We just put our cigars on the porch rail during those broiling months. We don't need to stick 'em in a humidor.
Or anywhere else that's "humid" for that matter.
My mistake; and here I thought thats what you were using those owls for.
Anyone ever tell you that you were a hoot?
Have a cigar and slice of pizza while you mull it over.
I must admit, I thought this was the greatest story yesterday. Of all the awful things going on in the world, Burlesquoni is always there to make the world laugh.
who can turn the girls off with his style?
who can take a normal thing and shudderingly make it all seem so vile?
well it's you Sil, and you should know it.
with each advance and every little harassment you show it.
bunga's all around, no need to chuck it
you're a fucking clown, why don't you suck it.
hanging from a lamp post by your balls
one day you'll be compost after all.
That is absolutely the best bowdlerization of the Mary Tyler Moore Show theme I've ever heard.
I could just hear the little kitten meowing at the end.
Just more pussy for Sil to chase.
Unless, of course, he's actually in charge of your part of the world.
L'Italia soffre ma possiamo ridere.
But, he's actually running a nation with a history as proud as the Italians. It's not as if he's the president of Moldova or some shit. If I happened to be an Italian the what? Decade or so he's been running that country, I'd be majorly pissed.
I thought it was gonna be the Bunga-Bunga Party.
I heard they were naming it after Sarah Palin. The Montagna Orificeo Party. Roughly translated: Hillbilly Cunt.
Was he limited to x number of characters or something? Why didn't he suggest "Gimme some Young Pussy" or "We Love Pussy" or something like that. But "Go Pussy"?! Go where?
But "Go Pussy"?! Go where?
That's a rhetorical question, right? I mean you do know where, right??
When I saw the headline "Berlusconi Wants Party Name Change," my first thought was, "How can he top bunga bunga?" Seriously, that's what I thought.
I should have stopped there instead of reading the article.
Between the Go Pussy party, the bunga, bunga parties and the stripping Polish political candidate, I'd just like to say that I'm fully engaged in the political process.
Sadly, Marcus Bachmann is only at half-mast. Where's a good "half-nude congressional page" story when ol' Marky Marcus needs it?
…I'd like to say that I'm fully engorged in the political process.
/fixed
In 1962, the year before Joseph Valachi spilled the secrets of the Mafia, a low-level thug named Vulvio Salami tried to beat a murder rap by singing all sorts of invented lore about the mob, including the name they used amongst themselves: "La Forza Gnocca." The Waspy FBI agents only learned they were being scammed when Vito Genovese broke down in uncontrollable laughter during a later interrogation.
Well, I finally learned why I always get a woody eating gnocci.
Actually it's gnocchi, but you've got the upfist. In any case, in Italy you can always eat one or the other.
Graci, brother Wonketeer!
Well, the good news is that if Alessandra Mussolini gets hung upside down, Berlusconi won't have to peek up her skirt anymore.
Whenever Alessandra Mussolini sees an opportunity to remind people of her vagina, Alessandra Mussolini takes it.
Except the, oh, millions of people that keep voting for the right-wing party he heads up. Seriously, Italy has been fucked for years under this guy.
Just when I get to thinking we have the most corrupt, twisted and idiotic politicians in the world, Berlusconi opens his piehole again. Thank you, Italy, I feel better now.
Vaguely apropos os this item, a jazz musician friend once told me the story of Chet Baker playing in Rome in the 1950s. The impressario teamed Baker with Mussolini's son, an aspiring concert pianist. Baker, trying to make small talk backstage, opened the conversation with Mussolini's son by saying, "Bummer about your old man."
Well, that's what I heard, anyway.
Shit, now I have to hold off on my proposed Third Party name: The Cooze Juice Express. Our slogan was to be: "Lettin' it rain all up in here."
>In other news, the Mussolinis are still insane.
What surprised me is hearing that the Mussolinis are still in power.
So wait, my joke got you wet?
Yes, it did.
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