Sorry we didn't do this yesterday -- we were at Disneyland, haha, just like that pardoned presidential turkey -- but as it's still only 10: 30 in the morning on the East Coast and 7:30 a.m. on the West Coast, we'll make the wild assumption that you're all not up and cooking already. (Many of you will not be "up and cooking" all day long, and for this we either toast you or weep for you, depending on the reasons for your particular circumstance.)
ANYWAY, we have combed through the vile jokes in this wonderful old Wonkette comments collection of Wonkette Commenter Thanksgiving Recipes, and here are some of the actual good recipes. Add your own, etc.! Happy Indian Syphilis Day!
CivicHoliday November 26, 2008 at 12: 49 pm
Ok, fer serious, this is a simply yummy fruit dish:
6 oz lemon yogurt
1/2 cup slivered almonds, toasted
1 green apple, diced
1 red apple, diced
2 pears, diced
1 cup seedless grapes, halved
2 tbs orange juice
1 tsp lemon juice
dash of orange zest
(mix and enjoy!)
P.S. That poor turkey has to give the prez a bj for his pardon. That’s how we do it in ‘murica, bitches
american mutt November 26, 2008 at 12: 50 pm
vegetarian, green, enchiladas:
corn tortillas
green sauce (tomatillos, garlic, onion, green peppers)
olive oil
potatoes
a crumbly mexican (or plan feta cheese)
onions
1. boil potatoes
2. dice onions
3. dice potatoes
4. crumble cheese
5. mix potatoes, onions, cheese in bowl
6. have green sauce prepared
7. warm oil in pan
8. green sauce on low in something
9. lightly cook corn tortillas in oil till they are lightly toasted
10. dip in green sauce – let sit for 30 seconds
11. place tortilla in baking dish
12. put potato, cheese, onion stuff in tortilla
13. fold tortilla
14. repeat
15. crumble cheese on top of unbaked enchiladas
16. bake items in oven on 375 for 20mins.
17. enjoy
18. why did i go through all this trouble to post a recipe on wonkette?
populucious November 26, 2008 at 1: 04 pm
The only drink you will need. It has fruit in it, so it’s healthy, and it has gin in it, so you wont remember anything:
Mother’s Ruin Punch
1/2 cup granulated sugar
3/4 cup chilled club soda
1 1/2 cups gin
1 1/2 cups Fresh squeezed grapefruit juice, plus slices for garnish
3/4 cup fresh squeezed lemon juice
3/4 cup sweet vermouth
2 1/4 cup Champagne or sparkling wine
Ice
In a picher, dissolve sugar into club soda. Add the gin & juice (with your mind on your money and your money on your mind) and the sweet vermouth. Refrigerate for about an hour. Either put the chilled gin & juice in a punch bowl and add the champagne, or pour gin & juice into glasses and top off with the champagne. Or, you know, drink the gin & juice straight from the picher and then finish by slamming a bottle of champagne. Whatever works best to deaden the sound of your mother’s bitter tears.
Happy Holidays Everyone!!!!
Ken Layne November 26, 2008 at 1: 09 pm
Here are some recipes from your editor, as told to SK Smith in our secret Wonkette editorial chat thing:
“Oh here is a vegetemable dish to please yr friends, Sara: Go to the farmer’s market (or whatev store has good organic greens) and get a bunch of handsome Brussels Sprouts, and you paint these fuckers up heavy with olive oil, and you BROIL them until the outer buddies get nearly black and crispy. The insides get all perfect.
(with none of the BITTERZ that people sometimes don’t like)
and a bunch of rock salt. They are very tasty. If they’re too big, cut ‘em in half and put them cut-side up to the flame.”
Pumpkin Snickerdoodle Cookies
from my recipe page at <a href="http:\/\/www.grouprecipes.com\/93047\/pumpkin-snickerdoodle-cookies.html" target="_blank">" rel="nofollow noopener" title="http://www.grouprecipes.com/93047/pumpkin-snicker...">http://www.grouprecipes.com...
Pumpkin Cookies made with that old can of pumpkin that has been in your pantry for a year or two.
1/2 cup butter, softened 2 tablespoons oil, grapeseed works 3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar 1/4 cup white refined sugar 1 large egg 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 cup canned or fresh pumpkin puree 2-2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 1/4 teaspoon ground clove 1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
Preheat oven to 350&deg;F and grease cookie sheets with real butter. In a bowl, with an electric mixer at medium speed, cream together butter with brown sugar until smooth. Beat in egg and vanilla. Beat in pumpkin pur&eacute;e. In another bowl, combine flour, baking powder, cinnamon, baking soda, salt, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves. Add to butter mixture and beat well to combine. In yet another bowl, mix sugar with pumpkin pie spice and set aside. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto prepared sheets. Bake about 18 minutes, until set, not browned. Top with pumpkin pie spice sugar mixture while still hot. Transfer to racks to cool.
Thats what a gimp is for.