Empress of Minnesota Michele Bachmann has been using her popular e-newsletter and blog to ask the trenchant political questions of our time, like, “Is Nancy Pelosi afraid of strong conservative women?” and “Is Nancy Pelosi stress-binging on cherpumples after hours? I see love handles.” Bachmann’s latest complaint involves Pelosi’s calling the House back from break this week to vote on a $26 billion spending bill for stupid crap like schools. In rebellion, Bachmann will launch a war in the form of a national tele-townhall that starts “at the exact moment Speaker Pelosi is opening her session.” Oooh, nasty.
To get in on the fun, you have to sign up and then be at your phone at 7 PM Eastern time, when Bachmann herself will call you and everyone else who agreed to participate. She’s “invited” more than 1,000,000 people, which is still pretty exclusive, if you consider how many Americans and illegal immigrant-terrorists live within our borders these days:
We will call 1,000,000 households, tell them what the Speaker is doing, and ask the peoples’ opinion on the “Cash for Democrat re-election Program.”
I am also inviting anyone to join us on the call by signing up at my website, michelebachmann.com. People can weigh in with their opinions in a live interaction with members of Congress.
This is by far the gutsiest move of desperation yet seen on the part of Speaker Pelosi.
If anybody knows about desperation, it’s Michele Bachmann. A name you can trust!
Judging from the invitation, it seems you have to be a “tea partier” to be on the call. But Tea Partying is a state of mind, so don’t let that stop you. You might, however, let “handing over your phone number to a woman who is emailing paranoid missives on a daily basis” stop you.
Speaking of stopping things, Bachmann is also calling on Fancy Pelosi to enter a 12-step program “for her addiction to job-killing spending,” because she either cares about taxpayers very much or is simply jealous of Pelosi’s deluxe office and flower gardens. (Unconfirmed rumor: Bachmann herself is in a 12-step program for people addicted to McCarthyism.) Among other things, this probably means that we won’t see any photo ops of the two of them making “bipartisan girlfriend time” amends at the local Ann Taylor anytime soon.
UPDATE: Bachmann just sent out another Urgent Communiqué, reminding your Wonkette that we still haven’t contributed to her Very Important Primary Campaign Fund so that she can win her Very Important Primary, tomorrow. [New York Times/MicheleBachmann.com]
{ 44 comments }
Wow, I can only do three-way calling.
Why don’t we just republish michellebachmann.com website entries and press releases in their entirety? Oh, wait…
*stamp* *flounce*
What possible harm could come to the US from just closing all our schools, shutting down all road maintenance and stop collecting taxes. I say just try it for a few years and see.
By the way it’s too bad Mark Hurd wasn’t reading his own fancy HP ads like the one up in the corner there. Definitely a good idea to have “clear, untangled communications” with your escort lady “marketing consultant” PRIOR to the embarrasing coversations leading to sexual harrassment lawsuits.
[re=634718]Katydid[/re]: Heh…three way.
OT – the Virgin Ad: Every time I see it, I get an image of some rich ponce walking through Heathrow and pissing on the commoners on the way to his exclusive table in the clubhouse.
Ahhh, the Lady Bachmann’s latest brain-dropping. No idea too squirrelly, no attack too unfounded, no shirt, no shoes, no shit. If there is anything more sad than this sexually frustrated cunt it is someone who actually pays serious attention to her. She and Glenn Beck should team up and take his University to the next level and Found the first National Laughing Academy. He would, of course, be Chancellor and she would be the Dean of Wimminsfolk. I don’t know whether to laugh – or cry, for America.
Uh, Michelle, government spending to create jobs is not “job-killing”; in fact, it is the exact opposite of that. But it’s so horrible that you have to actually go and do your job for a little bit longer.
Hmmm…does being on the Tea Party Express’ mailing list count? I’d love to commune with Michele Bachmann and a million of her closest friends in an attempt to
make a baby over the phone reverse the devious Democrat strategy of making sure people still have jobs.Somehow, I don’t think this even reached The Pelosinator’s radar screen. It probably would have been effective if Bachmann had just had her minions call Nancy’s office and make fart noises into the phone. Which is exactly what I imagine this conference call sounded like.
[re=634734]ttommyunger[/re]: I believe that’d be “Dean of Wimminsvolk”…
Stalking has been raised to a new level with this.
Michelle wants to “get” Pelosi, eh? In bed, maybe!
[re=634751]Oblios Cap[/re]: Thats HAWT!
“Is Nancy Pelosi stress-binging on cherpumples after hours? I see love handles.”
She is going to be murdered by a pack of angry women’s studies majors.
On a related subject, Bachmann’s opponent is one Teryl Clark, who this correspondent has met and who definitely has the good looking thing going for her. The failure of the lamestream media to hold her up as someone you might want to hit, doggie style, speaks volumes about the state of political discourse in modern America.
1 million couch-ridden, mouth-breathers all trying to babble on the same party-line at once as they wolf-down identical mayonnaise sandwiches while Fox News simultaneously plays in the background? Sounds like fun. I’m in.
[re=634740]SayItWithWookies[/re]: ach — close tag fail.
This is the 21st century, can’t our congresspeople just send their votes in via Blackberry iPhones from wherever they are holding their town halls?
[re=634737]JMP[/re]: Didn’t you hear? Keeping teachers and cops in their jobs is job killing. Get with the program. Sheeesh!
Well, if she’s going to be chattin’ away with a couple million of her closest friends, then she’s not going to be there to actually vote on the bill, now is she?
You may well mock, but Michele’s cherpumples are iced with a frosting consisting of baconnaise and extract of bitter, bitter tears.
imissopus; Surely you jest. Even a proposal like this will send the entire Senate into Cardiac Arrest. These folks don’t even know which tram to catch without two or three aides.
[re=634751]Oblios Cap[/re]: [re=634752]BklynIlluminati[/re]: No, no, no, Michele is hot for Jesus, doncha know. And that’s a little disturbing, btw.
[re=634718]Katydid[/re]: Call me.
[re=634763]Katydid[/re]: Hmmmm thats not so HAWT…in fact i think that is HAWT FAIL. Friggin Bachmann ruins everything
[re=634765]bago[/re]: lol
[re=634753]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: “Angry women’s studies majors” is redundant. Very.
I’m convinced Michelle is brain dead and all she’s capable of doing is randomly spitting out Republican buzz words. Job killing socialist, abortion loving child hating Demon-crat. See, anyone can do it.
Evil genius or tea baggers’ dupe, how do you tell the difference?
Why is she looking at Pelosi’s “love handles”? Oh, right, catty women and all that.
I tried just saying “no” to everything in my job for a while. Eventually my boss caught on and said “stop complaining and start solving”. The lesson here is that I should quit that stupid job and be in Congress.
Attention voters: Tired of Tea Partiers and their mainstream Washington agenda? Vote Pixels for a REALLY REALLY REALLY conservative. I make Michele Bachman look like Angela Davis!
Bachmann and her class warfare are so darned cute.
So Bachmann isn’t ashamed of missing yet another Congressional vote? Does she even pretend to work anymore?
It’s clear this wanker has NO CLUE how stupid she looks or sounds to the rest of the world…
[re=634776]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: You’re making a lot of sense. Everything you say is true, but the lamestream media wont’ report it. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! Where can I contribute to your campaign fund?
Assuming her charge is true and this emergency session is all an election year stunt, how do you not prefer the candidates whose stunt is to pass laws to save jobs over the candidates whose stunt is to skip work and have a mass-telephone-wank orgy while teachers get fired?
Sounds like it’ll be the One Million Man Fap.
Alas, the people of her district love-love-love her. The 6th district in Minnesota does have some progressive thinkers, but the rest of the district is full of folks that make the Clampetts look like the Curies.
SKIT ‘ER, GIT THAT BITCH!
[re=634762]crapshooter102[/re]: Since half the time none of them know what they are voting on, I just figured this would be easier. Save them the pretense of pretending to care.
[re=634840]Winski[/re]: American Exceptionalism at it’s finest!
When did “strong conservative women” or “attractive conservative women” become synonyms for “bat-shit crazy”?
Still, I do appreciate that after decades of tension between the intellectual underpinnings of Conservatism and its anti-intellectual base, that Conservatives have decided to just drop the intellectual thing and go with the crazy.
Attractive Conservative Women. Yeeeeeeeeeah.
She has the deer-in-headlights look down: That wide-eyed, empty-headed, fawing look you see at Kim Jong-Il rallies.
OMG. This is so hilarious. They have started random calling because I was called just now. I am a registered Democrat so they must be just f-ing calling anyone they can to make their numbers.
It’s pure comedy gold. I loved the old lady who wanted to ban the DoE, the veteran on diability who can’t pay any more taxes (really?? does he pay taxes???) but I’m sure wouldn’t want any cuts made to this programs and the small business loser who needs to find a new line of work.
I tried really hard to stay on but it looks like it will be endless. But oh so funny! Bring on the crazy, Michelle! I am contributing to your ooponent after I post this.
Comments on this entry are closed.