‘Impromptu Barry Ice Cream Contest’ Inspires Racist Fantasy Flavors

  fun and games

The iOwnTheWorld.com jokey blog asked its readership to come up with some ice cream flavors in honor of Barack Obama, who recently enjoyed some socialist revolutionary ice cream at a Black Panther Party-run free dessert shoppe in Maine. And now they have some winners: ”Baracky Road w/ Marxmallows,” followed by the uppity-sounding “Chocolate Chip on His Shoulder” and a pool of “runner-ups” that includes “dumb raisin” and Grandpa Cracker’s very special “Reggie’s Fudge” (who’s Reggie?). The winner gets a free guest blog post where they can make more cool summertime treats/racisms and generate comments about inventions like “watermelon oreo slush,” which sounds terrible on more than one level. [CBS News/iOwnTheWorld.com]

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About the author

Lauri works at the Chicago Reader, and also writes and makes art-pictures for Wonkette. Her creative projects—including a now-defunct blog about finding clothing in the trash and wearing it, and an exhibition of portraits of all 50 Chicago aldermen made by 50 different artists—have been featured by NBC's Today Show, the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, BUST Magazine, and other media outlets. She's written things for the Austin Chronicle, Texas Observer, In Pittsburgh Weekly, The Black Table, and other places, and taken photos for various nonprofits, bands, and publications. (She also has a law degree, for some reason.)

View all articles by Lauri Apple

Hola wonkerados.

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53 comments

  1. Mild Midwesterner

    I would’ve just called him Haagen Dazs. You know… due to the foreign-sounding name and all.

  2. JMP

    These people are actually performing a service, outing themselves so that non-racists know to avoid them, and proving that the Breitbarts of the world who try to claim the teabaggers aren’t racists, it’s those who point out the racism who are the real racists, are totally full of shit.

  3. freakishlystrong

    Jebus. Just call it Uppity Nigger and get it over with. Facebiting, hateful right wing assholes.

  4. bhosp

    In fairness, Chocolate/Vanilla swirl is kind of an obvious joke. I mean, normal people would realize that it’s at best racially insensitive and reject it, but it doesn’t take any racism to arrive at the idea.

  5. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=624190]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Beautiful.

    Baracky Road w/ Marxmallows and Chocolate Chip on His Shoulder are kind of funny, I have to admit.

  6. WhatTheHeck

    What they don’t realize is that their plain white vanilla ice cream is flavored with a long brown bean from East Africa.

  7. bhosp

    [re=624202]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yeah, at least these are jokes that you don’t have to be a wingnut to get, even if you do have to be a wingnut to think they’re appropriate.

    First Mark Williams gets shitcanned, now this. Baby steps.

  8. oh hi mark

    Back in 2003, I read about an ice cream company that tried to be the conservative counterpart to Ben & Jerry’s. I think their flavors had names like “Iraqi Road” and “I Hate the French Vanilla.” I wonder what happened to them?

  9. PlanetWingnuta

    [re=624212]Joshua Norton[/re]: How about Teabagger Delight…full of nuts & freedums!

  10. Come here a minute

    If “Baracky Road” was served at Netroots Nation, it would be praised for its awesomeness.

  11. mookworthjwilson

    I think they are trying to say that the President is have anal sex, aka “fudge packing”, with Reggie Love. That’s what I get from this bit of genius.

  12. mookworthjwilson

    I think they are trying to say that the President is having anal sex, aka “fudge packing”, with Reggie Love. That’s what I get from this bit of genius.

  13. Mild Midwesterner

    [re=624216]oh hi mark[/re]: Generally speaking, products associated with bad events tend to not sell well. Who can forget the disastrous product launches of Holocaust Honeycomb Cereal and the HP print cartridges filled with Spanish Ink-uisition?

  14. slappypaddy

    i was at a teaparty with a warren of white rabbits and they served some of that watermelon oreo slush ice cream. it was absolutely terrible, all rancid and watery, but they were all shoveling it in and gulping it down. they said it reminded them of when they were little baby bunnies.

  15. PlanetWingnuta

    [re=624212]Joshua Norton[/re]: Thinking of a new one now… Faux News…Just Chock Full of Shit with Rich Toppings of Corn and Seasame. ok i know not imaginative but…i didnt include Trukrnutz

  16. An American in Toronto

    Damn! I love that logo. Where was this place when I lived in Maine? Beats the pants off Deering Ice Cream and their ice cream clowns.

  17. MarieDeGournay

    [re=624190]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Win. Though I bet there are lot of people out there who would love to eat Barry.

  18. Gun-toting Progressive

    [re=624216]oh hi mark[/re]: Right, because Unilever is a hotbed of liberalism.

  19. obfuscator

    [re=624202]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: those were both funny and creative, ipso ergo propter hoc, they probably were submitted by an overeducated sarcastic godless libtard. rightwing nutjobs don’t seem to have the capacity for that kind of thing.

  20. TrailerSpawned

    I made the mistake of looking at the original thread and the suggestions that did not make the cut. These would be the “clever” ones.

    However, if they are going to go gay joke ice cream flavor, how did “Reggie’s Fudge” make it over “Double Dutch Chocolate Rudder?”

  21. weejee

    Where do the wingnutters come up with this shit. Don’t they have jobs? Oh, never mind.

    [re=624261]Radiotherapy[/re]: Ouch!! But good puns are for cone heads and deserve a licking.

  22. just pixels

    Sarah Palin’s ice cream is “White Knight Vanilla”
    Mitt Romney’s is “Bloo-Tah Berries & Cream”
    John Boehner’s is “Orange Sherbert”
    Mike Huckabee’s is “Huckleberry Hash”

  23. TrailerSpawned

    “Banana Vince Foster”… poor guy has been waiting 17 years to use that.

    [re=624274]just pixels[/re]: There was Palin flavor: Sarah Palin Dreamy Cream Pie. Gonna skip lunch today.

  24. carlgt1

    [re=624216]oh hi mark[/re]: there was also some “anti-Heinz” ketchup (right-wing buddy in Orange County bought some) to, of course, go against “supporting” the Kerry-Heinz family (which of course Heinz ketchup doesn’t, well maybe .00001cents for every bottle sold)

  25. Extemporanus

    Thank you, lactose-intolerant, slave-loving, TeaRander joke blog!

    We’re it not for your recent dumb contest, we would not have had the opportunity to once again laugh (and laugh and laugh!) at racist dessert puns that were all first made more than two years ago during the 2008 presidential campaign and subsequently forgetten due to the fact that they were dumb and racist against dessert.

    Some things just never do get old, do they?

  26. Extemporanus

    [re=624365]Extemporanus[/re]: Oh, and CBS?

    Thank you for preemptively taking my previous comment literally and regurgiting all that tasty old ice cream good humor as a legitimate news story for the enjoyment of your core target demographic of Alzheimer-having anti-”government” toothless old white spoon feeders.

  27. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=624202]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Yeah, I like the sound of Baracky Road, half chocolate/half vanilla. If Ben & Jerry came out with that in 2008, it would have been a big hit, since one of Obama’s big selling points was his half-and-halfness.

    But taking into consideration all the horrible racist bullshit that has been spewed since our tasty Oreo cookie president has taken office, that kind of racial quip has become off-limits.

    Too bad. The racists are making us all more politically correct than we ever wanted to become.

  28. Can O Whoopass

    George Bush’s “Jack Daniels Cokey Rock”.

    Larry Craig’s is “DingleBerries & Cream”.

    Babs Bush’s “Heavenly Bladder Stones”.

    Nancy Reagan’s “Prairie Cowpies”.

    Ronnie Reagan’s “Chopping Brush Illegal Tequila Salsa”.

  29. KilgoreTrout_XL

    I can’t believe they didn’t all start screaming chunky monkey. Which is pretty fucking good ice cream, really.

  30. GOPCrusher

    Thank God that FreemaninPA took the opportunity to point out that the race card is played out and is now dead, otherwise I would have considered this racist.

  31. Darkness

    I’m so glad our public discourse is so free of race. Gosh, imagine if it weren’t.

    [re=624396]Can O Whoopass[/re]:
    Nancy Reagan’s would be Fruit Loop Astrology Frozen Yogurt
    Ronnie’s would be Senile Blackout Fudge or Nuclear Berry Swirled with Red (Hots) Buttons

  32. snoidoid

    [re=624223]PlanetWingnuta[/re]: That Teabagger’s Delight flavor is suspiciously salty.

    [re=624388]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: The problem with the Baracky road is that it turns out to not be nearly as sweet as you think it’s going to be. Not very sweet at all, in fact. And you have to keep sharing it with your nasty right-wing cousin even though he ate all of his already and most of yours.

Comments are closed.