Census workers must protect themselves, as they are the only ones left with moneyYOU CAN COUNT ON US: Good news on the job front! 431,000 jobs were added to the economy in May! Even better, 411,000 of these were all-important census jobs, an economic sector crucial for long-term growth. No country will be able to beat America when it comes to counting its citizenry, feeding forms into scantron machines, and going door to door with a clipboard. Do you think the Spaniards know how many Spaniards there are? Do the Russians know how to count the Russians without “accidentally” killing them? [NYT]

Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Katydid

    But I won’t know how Obama is ruining the economy with these jobs until I watch Fox. Is this Maoism, taoism, daoism, socialism, communism, nazism, fascism, totalitarianism, or is it just unConstitutional, or what? Wonkette, why are you putting this out there without telling me what to think?

  • JMP

    Judging by what I see at lunch, there’s also been job growth in the all-important industries of annoying college kids trying harassing pedestrians to collect donations for various political causes along with good old fashioned beggars. That’s good for the economy, right?

  • SayItWithWookies

    The Bible tells us that every government job steals a job away from the private sector — so what this really means is that the government stole 411,000 good jobs away from We The People and gave them jobs where they do nothing but walk and count. Why is the government trying to make Americans do the things they’re least talented at? For no money? A meteor will hit Pat Robertson for this.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=591297]Katydid[/re]: ‘Tis Kenyanism.

  • actor212

    Who would have thought the national recovery would be led by Count von Count?

  • x111e7thst

    [re=591301]JMP[/re]: It has been good for my economy, and to a lesser extent for that of the college kids collecting sweet $$$Ameros for “political causes”. I would also note that if you shake down the average beggar they do not, for some reason, go to the police. So, win!

  • JackDempsey

    Biden in Sesame Street pics.
    Jobs going to people who count.
    Possible emergent pre-school overlords?

  • harry palmer

    Holy shit, I thought that 411,000 out of 431,000 being census jobs was a joke! But there’ll be plenty of Gulf clean-up jobs, so we’re saved.

  • weejee

    Josh, are the counting hard (& do mean hard) work the Repubicans’ are doing in this area, with all the bl*w, h*nd, r*m, and *t c*t*r* jobs they are getting for ‘Murica?

  • JMP

    Besides the census, BP has managed to create a new market for clean-up jobs in the Gulf of Mexico. Feel the economy grow!

  • BigDupa

    My advice to the “411 Large” is take your time. You have ten years to finish.

    Also- 411= Information? If Giuliani were President, he would have hired 911 thousand and unemployment would be…. yep… 9.11% Look it up.

  • harry palmer

    [re=591323]JMP[/re]: Hey, great minds think alike, and so do we!

  • Katydid

    O/T I was reading the comments on Jim’s farewell post ::sniff:: and several people remarked about the annoying comments format at Gawker. Were people just talking about Gawker moderating comments, or is there more to it than that? Thanks.

  • V572625694

    OT, but Ari Fleischer’s on MSNBC saying, “Obama claimed he was better than everybody else, but what about the oil spill? Neener neener Obamar!”

  • actor212

    In America, the people count you.

    In Russia, the people count YOU!

  • harry palmer

    [re=591343]actor212[/re]: They don’t come any oilier than Ari. He was too loathsome even for Tiger Woods.

  • Mr Blifil

    It’s no big thing because after they are all fired as census workers they can be trained as marriage counselors/gender reprogrammers when otherwise patriotic married heterosexuals follow the example of the Gores and decide gay marriage is where it’s at after all.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=591314]JackDempsey[/re]: You are joking, but it is a bitter truth that today’s preschoolers will rule tomorrows world. It’s evolution.

  • AnglRdr

    Ari also is round. A greazy ball of fluff. He had a sheen already on Morning Joe.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    My scrawny 19-year-old Mexican nephew is a census guy. I was telling him last week he should go full-on cholo when he dresses for work; wifebeater t-shirt, idiotic droopy pants, hairnet, the works, maybe some of those temporary tats up and down his arms, neck, etc.

    He didn’t think that was very funny.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Also, I’ve done my share of jobs creation. In the past week I’ve increased the staff of the hospitality/tourist services empire I run by a whopping 25%* Yay me. I’m what’s right with America. Me for president, etc.

    * I hired a part-time housekeeper for the summer rush

  • populucious

    I believe the Russians are ahead of us YET AGAIN in the census business as they use nuclear warheads to count their populace.

  • lawrenceofthedesert

    That’s why the Obama’s have been hanging out on Sesame Street — networking with The Count.

  • Suds McKenzie

    Just wait till we get to the TPS reports America!11!

  • NJB

    [re=591342]V572625694[/re]: Ah, Ari! They don’t make character assassinating fucksticks like that any more.

  • NateOcean

    I worked two weeks for the Census before I quit in disgust.

    I’ve never seen such a large group of corrupt and incompetent people collect in one place.
    In addition to injecting partisan political comments (mostly against ACORN and Obama) into the workplace, there was rampant wage and hour fraud.

    There were a number of serious missteps in locating workers in the wrong district.
    Christ, if they can’t get *that* right, what confidence do we have in the census data itself is attributed to the correct address or census tract?.

    It makes me fear for the validity of the data collected.

    I took this job very seriously.

    The temporary managers I worked with just considered it a government-supplied money-teat to suck on.

  • actor212

    [re=591595]NateOcean[/re]: So you accepted paid training from a corrupt organization and never lifted a finger to do the work.

    Did you at least return the pay and help your country out with its deficit?

  • villageatrois

    Counting the unemployed is a growth industry.

    I haz a sad.

Previous articleGores Faked Their Marriage So Hard, Says This One Website
Next articleMeet the ‘Raghead’ Joker of South Carolina