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The actual tentacles are much slimierHE WHO CONTROLS THE ‘BLOG-O-SPHERE’ CONTROLS THE WORLD, IS WHAT WE HEARD: This bazillion-word story on AOL’s Politics Daily dingus, about the proxy war playing out in Republican primaries nationwide between Jim DeMint and Mitch McConnell, seems “important,” but it’s long and kinda boring, so we’ll just reproduce this hilarious claim from the world’s most handsome CNN commentator/blog impresario: “[Eric] Erickson implied to me — and based on the chronological order of the endorsements, this rings true — that DeMint may be taking his cues from RedState’s endorsements, not the other way around.” Good lord, political bloggers! If they’re not having sexy sex with sexy politician-ladies, they’re ordering powerful Senators to do their bidding. (Fear not, dear readers, Wonkette only uses its blog-power to earn your eternal love and devotion, not to do evil.)

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38 COMMENTS

  1. Yeah, cause sending teabags and poorly spelled faxes to Congress really stopped HCR and other parts of the Obama Socialist Commie Nazi Fascist Black Power Islamo Librul Hitler agenda.

    Keep fucking that chicken Red State.

  2. So what this is saying is that Eric Erickson is not, in fact, a moronic blogger-turned-CNN-analyst, but actually a supervillain out to take over the Republican party today, and tomorrow the world. Well, that does explain the name, which sounds like something Stan Lee would have made up.

  3. [Erick] Erickson implied to me — and based on the chronological order of the endorsements, this rings true — that DeMint may be taking his cues from RedState’s endorsements, not the other way around…

    Obviously the Moron of Macon, being one of the grand poobahs of RedState, is a completely objective and unbiased source. The worst thing is that he might be right, as DeMint really is that much of a mentally deficient shitweasel.

  4. So republican primaries are being decided by candidates either preferred by Mitch, “Where’s my Chin” McConnell and Jim, “Waterloo” Demint? And they’re culling the list from fucking Red State?
    Dems, it’s a gift in November, don’t fuck it up.

  5. Oh Josh, thank goodness. I was beginning to think that all the mandatory free abortions and TruckNutz I got for my loved ones last Christmas had something to do with Wonkette’s evil hold on my pure-driven soul, but now I know I made my own decisions.

    robot voice I LUV WONKETTE IT IS THE BEST WAR BLOG ON THE INTERWEB. /robot voice

  6. that DeMint may be taking his cues from RedState’s endorsements, not the other way around…

    Or RedState and DeMint are getting their orders from the same star chamber, and RedState types faster.

  7. Well, I learned that bracketing your post with the “less than” and “greater than” symbols makes it invisible. It’s like fucking magic.

  8. Wonkette only uses its blog-power to earn your eternal love and devotion, not to do evil

    Screw that. Doing Evil is a lot more fun. Of course, were you doing evil, you would lie to us and say that you weren’t.

  9. It’s a bit complex sometimes to tease out the thread detailing which parts of a system may determine the actions of other parts of a system, but I liken it to the effect of morning coffee on bowel movements. It is morning, I will have my coffee. My bowels are locked and loaded, ready to go. Neither event (drinking coffee, laying some cable) requires the other as a trigger, they occur spontaneously and independently for the most part. Yet, on balance, the former somehow seems to influence the latter in a way that seems entirely organic to the outside observer, while providing me with a sensation of balance and well being. That incomparable feeling is surely greater than the sum of individual factors.

    Red State and Jim Demint are kind of like that, is what I’m getting at.

  10. BTW, our here in the realz Warshington, perennial candidate Dino Rossi announced he’z a runnin’ fer senator against the Bolshevik mom in tennis shoes Patty Murray. Rossi, a two-time loooooozzzzzer running for governator is the only “name” repubtard in the primary race.

    Dino sought to follow the RedState-Will Fuchs-Creme DeMint intertube maestros by making hiz announcement on-line at 7:00 AM local. Announcement didn’t arrive ’til 18 news cycles later (7:18 PDT). Clearly, Douchebag in Name Only (Dino) don’t get it, and is a douche in realz, also. BTW, in the Repubican primary the snowbillie grifter has endorsed doucebag² Clint Didier – former NFLster now farmer and a born again socializm hater who has cashed checks for over $273K in crop subsidies. So many douches, so many douches…

  11. [re=585661]Oblios Cap[/re]: Wonkette has earned my love and devotion by doing evil, with comic flair. They would never lie to us. Well, Fruhl might. But only a little white lie.

  12. Dear Wonkette:

    I think an Eric Erickson BLINGEE CONTEST is exactly what this boring hump day needs. Blingee’s are my crack. It be calling me…

  13. [re=585666]Mr Blifil[/re]: But, between Red State and Jim Demint which one is supposed supposed to be the huge, long, smelly first-of-the-morning turd?

  14. [re=585666]Mr Blifil[/re]: As a consideration to your fellow posters here, please consider using non-excremental metaphors henceforth. Thank you and have a nice day, now that you’ve voided your bowels.

  15. [re=585652]Troubledog[/re]:”Or RedState and DeMint are getting their orders from the same star chamber, and RedState types faster.”
    This is the reason for the tinfoil hats. To prevent these messages from causing strange behavior.

  16. [re=585666]Mr Blifil[/re]: When discussing Paultard political endorsements, this is what’s known as the “Hindenburg Uncertainty Principle”.

    “Oh, the poo-manity!”

  17. If memory serves, the last line of “The Puppet Masters” is something like, “‘Masters’ beware: Free men are coming to kill you.”

    What with the “Homos In Arms” bill now pending, Heinlein’s editors may change it to: “Free ‘men’ are coming to give you grooming tips.”

    Or something.

    Dr. Neilist von Neilist
    Michael Valentine Smith Endowed Chair
    Heinlein Institute For The Study of Deviant Sexual Practices Advocated By Naval Academy Graduates
    Somewhere In Idaho, But Too Close Regardless,
    USA, Earth
    Terran Empire

  18. [re=585731]V572625694[/re]: Please understand my analysis was strictly metaphorical, as I, personally, am usually able to pinch one off without much prompting, really.

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