Breaking: Elena Kagan Went To College, Wrote Trotsky-Haiku
by Riley Waggaman 2:10 pm May 14, 2010
-
FACT: Elena Kagan went to college, where she majored in Unamerican Studies and wrote a 1,000 page honors thesis in which she described Stalin as a “total studmuffin.” [RedState]
-
Big Barack Obummer: The government is definitely going to electronically track the pH level and blubber content of your child! [The Corner]
-
Oh, and then Barack Obama used an automobile metaphor, something about Republicans being too drunk to drive so give him the keys, he’s really disappointed and he’s calling everyone’s parents. [Think Progress]
-
Chris Christie refers to a cantankerous reporter as “thin-skinned,” which is actually a compliment because Chris Christie loves thin skin — for snacking on between meals. (He’s fat!) [Weekly Standard]
-
Gen. Stanley McChrystal admits that “nobody is winning” Afghanistan but also that the Taliban probably Won the Afternoon, at least. [The Daily Dish]
Rebecca Schoenkopf (424)
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (927)
Sulagna Misra (4)
Kris E. Benson (11)
Liz Colville (170)
John Schoenkopf (7)
Jim Newell (5640)
Josh Fruhlinger (646)
Erik Jay (27)
Blair Burke (181)
{ 58 comments }
Chris Christie eats babies!
Elena Kagan … described Stalin as a “total studmuffin.”
Wait – does this mean she’s not a lesbian? Aaahhggh! The talking points are tripping each other up!
“Big Barack Obummer: The government is definitely going to electronically track the pH level and blubber content of your child!”
I think this is what the Wii Fit does. It collects info on how fat you are then sends it to the DEFF PANELZ.
I tried to read that Red State thing, but they wanted to make me download a pdf file and that’s bullshit, so I’m just going to have to trust Red State on Comrade Kagan. Young Riley did well with the Stalinist Haiku, by the way.
I track my BM index very closely!
Quote of the afternoon – From Redstate:
“There’s no way that a Senator with an *ounce of conscience* (a Republican Senator, anyway)”
Seriously? Seriously RedState? The only senators that have a conscience are Republicans?
Jesus wept.
[re=577618]Mahousu[/re]: She wasn’t a lesbian when she was active in the cell, but became one when she went to work in the Clinton Administration. I don’t know why you kids have so much trouble keeping this shit straight.
With Obummer, I do believe Young Riley has outdone himself today. Bravo, YR, bravo. Being fit is what Michele O wants us to be, which means it’s anti-capitalist so being fat is patriotic. Why else do you think Huckabee has porked up again?
general stanley’s news may appear bad, but i’ve heard it said that the only thing worse than losing a war is winning one. i offer as an example the terrible fate that befell the distant western land called america after its triumph in 1945. time for everybody in afghanistan to exchange kisses, go to their respective homes, and stay there.
That Chris Christie video has the anthropological value of a Jane Goodall special on primates, focusing on the physiological effect the act of punching hippies has on wingnuts.
That’s some real bad dirt Erik Erik has turned up; scanning over the dissertation, it looks like a history major actually wrote about the history of socialism in the early 20th century. Scandal! So she must be a socialist because she wrote about socialism; that makes perfect sense, yep.
[re=577623]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Just read the comments. Red State is way funnier than Wonkette, even though they don’t know it.
Kagan’s a socialist? I’m so relieved. Erick Erick the son of Erick Erickson does not know what “blowback” means, also.
[re=577629]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: I kinda liked this one:
bs61 Friday, May 14th at 1:53AM EDT
I never wrote about socialism being great! And when I grew up as a Dem from Chicago, we still hated the commie’s! My how much has changed.
So that’s why Glenn Beck said this morning that he thinks Christie’s a good sleeper candidate for 2012? Because he says pricky stuff to the press? I guess if he starts getting photographed going to church regularly he’ll have 100% of the requirements for a GOP presidential candidate.
I meant to say Christie eats lots of babies, fucking all the time, snacks on them like they’re popcorn.
The thesis explores the history of socialism in New York in the first third of the 20th century.
WTF is controversial about that?
If I wrote a thesis on the recidivism rates of pedophiles, am I then one? Because I certainly wish someone had told me this beforehand.
*sigh* these paranoid redstaters – always so paranoid about thi..wait. Oh my god. LOOK AT THE DATE ON THIS THING! APRIL 15, 1981! TAX DAY!
That clinches it! I’m stocking up on ammo and heading for the mountains.
[re=577637]JMP[/re]: Actually, it does make perfect sense. I wrote a paper about Nazi Germany in college, and I am right now, as we speak, invading Poland.
[re=577631]DustBowlBlues[/re]: She wasn’t a lesbian when she was active in the cell, but became one when she went to work in the Clinton Administration.
Oh, was this one of those “preemptive defense” maneuvers? I suspect it wouldn’t really work around Bill.
[re=577639]Aurelio[/re]: I like the guy that asks, “What freaks even know what socialism is in undergrad?” Guess he didn’t spend much time in actual class, or talking to other students.
“You know who routinely fall outside BMI recommendations? Teabaggers. Their substantial extra weight in muscle mass, and typically smaller waists will yield numbers tagging them as obese / morbidly obese. The more highly conditioned they are – the greater the skew.”
Leon Trotsky;
Keep him away from the painters’ wives;
Many grunts.
[re=577650]smitallica[/re]: When I was in graduate school, I wrote a paper for Comparative Government back in the 70s promoting the idea that Britain should turn away from the US and look to Europe.
Guess what? Now I’m Nick Clegg.
Apparently, the Corner thinks fat, drunk and stupid is the only way to go through life.
[re=577650]smitallica[/re]: [re=577661]DustBowlBlues[/re]: As a philosophy major in college, I wrote a final paper on Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra; and just a few weeks ago, I went and killed god. Maybe there’s something to this.
[re=577665]JMP[/re]: You know what Harry Truman said when they told him God was dead? “That’s a damned shame. I’m always sorry to hear that someone died.”
[re=577657]Brick Oven Bill[/re]:
That Trotsky fellow
went to Mexico, got laid
so Stalin offed him.
Trotsky had a plan,
The fourth international,
called it “zoso”
Internationals
one through three had no titles
but still sold okay
What do you want to bet that Redstate doesn’t know a single person who ever wrote an honors thesis?
[re=577653]JMP[/re]: That’s my favorite. He seems to think that normal people go to college and do nothing but pass out drunk at frat parties, and only left wing freaks actually attend class and learn things.
I would go further and question whether the guy knows what socialism is even now.
Also heed the redstate warnings about the evils of socialism: the 8 hour work day, minimum wage, and worker safety rules. None of these conform to free market principles!
[re=577676]comicbookguy[/re]:
the 8 hour work day, minimum wage, and worker safety rules.
Needs moar socializm.
[re=577661]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I wrote mine on the hydraulics of water in soil (saturated and unsaturated) – I guess that makes me… an earthworm??
Who is this Trotsky?
I only got drunk and laid
Through my undergrad
Only freaks learn things
Normal people just get drunk
I post on redstate
Everything I learned
I learned from watching John Wayne
I shout WOLVERINES!!!1!
[re=577676]comicbookguy[/re]: Besides the classes, I remember long nights at school staying up and chatting about politics, philosophy, and everything else; and hey, quite a few students were self-described socialists. Somehow I get the idea this guy either never graduated college, or never actually went but saw a few movies that formed his entire idea of what college is like.
[re=577637]JMP[/re]: Plus which in her intro she explicitly states that her thesis will cover the collapse of socialism as a viable political movement in the years after World War I (plus making the point that it was only very marginally viable before then.)
“The woman declares that socialists must stick together instead of fracture in order to advance a socialist agenda, which Kagan advocates.”
She makes the point that a political movement needs to stick together and not splinter into competing factions in order to advance its agenda? What a radical piece of advice. It’s obviously much better to be like the current Republican Party, split between its nutty Tea Party base and the handful of pragmatic moderates who have not yet fled. Someone should ask Erik son of Erik how that’s working out for them.
Christ. A New York native majoring in history wrote an undergraduate thesis thirty years ago examining the history of a socialist group that operated in New York almost a century ago and is somehow revealed as a radical socialist trying to turn the US into a socialist regime. I sometimes think Erik son of Erik must be punking all of us. He’s allegedly a lawyer and therefore educated, he can’t be this obtuse.
And this is the guy who CNN hired as a commentator? No wonder the country is going to hell in a handbasket.
[re=577623]DustBowlBlues[/re]: It’s a shame. As history theses go, I actually found it quite interesting; she’s a good writer, and i say this without snark.
Hey, by writing about Republicans, does that *make* us Republicans? Is it one of those “speak no evil” things? Because I don’t want to be called a Republican.
Holy shit, over 100 pages just for a senior thesis? Cheat-y font it looks like. Surprisingly, sounds like something I’d read for fun.
[re=577653]JMP[/re]: What freaks actually know what socialism is among teabaggers?
Ha ha ha. I wrote a thesis in college about socialists too (Sandinistas). Only I didn’t misspell “charecteristics” in my conclusion like she did. I misspelled “guerilla” the whole way through. I blame 1982 spellcheck.
Trotsky knew lumpen proles when he saw them.
[re=577699]thehelveticascenario[/re]: To the teabaggers, socialism means anything the government does that they don’t like (such as any program that benefits black or brown people).
Trotsky knew fascists, too. The redstaters wouldn’t even recognize themselves in Trotsky’s mirror.
Coyacan’s nice but
I don’t get out much.
Visit me.
ILGWU
almost a haiku
by itself.
Long march through
the institutions, clever.
Now my feet hurt.
That’s Coyoacan
how lame
correcting your own haiku
[re=577680]GoinGreen[/re]: I wrote mine on U.S-Spanish relations during the Truman administration. Does this mean I want to have relations with the U.S., with Spain, or that I just like to watch?
Shorter Ericksonoferick: All you need to know about Socializm is that ITS BAD. If you know anything more than that, YOUR BAD.
[/spelling, punctuation simulated]
Kagan bats one in
Like a gay Red Sox catcher
Who’s hot to Trotsky
[re=577665]JMP[/re]: I also wrote a paper on Xena (yes, really) in a class on the philosophy of feminism; that must be why I’ve become a sword-wielding demigod lesbian warrior, despite starting out as a nerdy straight guy.
I once wrote a paper on Barthes; hence I was struck by a laundry truck to death.
Rather than write a thesis, I did comprehensive exams, with a specialization in Middle English. So that’s the only language I speak.
Hmm. I think them Redstaters over at Redstate are onto somethin’.
Now that they’ve accused everybody short of Jeebus of being a socialist, we’re all sort of getting used to the socialismists in our midst. If and when they get to the new testamint in their bible readin’ they’re gonna decide the Jeebus was a socialismist. When that happens the revolution will be won Comrades.
[re=577663]JMP[/re]: Who dumped oil into the Gulf of Mexico? Who sent cadavers to the Death Panels Dinner? Every Halloween the streets are empty of home-scholers; every Christmas Billo’s head explodes.
[re=577629]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: You haven’t been paying attention, you godless librul?
I wrote a thesis on some experiments I did with rats. That’s why I constantly scratch myself, bite people and poop everywhere.
Ahhh, my college days
Cheap alcohol and date rape
No Socialism
But this Stalin guy
When you read the stuff he did
Seems my kind of guy
People on RedState can read? but can’t comprehend or interpret what they are reading? Go on, what a revelation!
“She makes the point that a political movement needs to stick together and not splinter into competing factions in order to advance its agenda? What a radical piece of advice”
To place that in proper context, let’s see what old Ben Franklin, you know that Founding Father guy said way back then “We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately”
Now I knew Ben was a bit of a scamp, sitting naked in the window of his Craven Street London home taking what he called an ‘air bath’, attempting to nail any woman he could, but I never figured him for a socialist lesbo as well.
well Repugs have written out Ben Franklin & Thomas Jefferson & Thomas Paine out of the history books haven’t they, since they were a bunch of atheist liberals….
My college thesis was about Oscar Wilde and late Victorian homoerotic literary tropes. You don’t even want to know what I’m doing right now. It’s hard, what with being a girl, but I get it done.
Comments on this entry are closed.