better than the old politico

JULI WEINER IS THE NEW POLITICO: Bloodthirsty ambitious blog monster Juli Weiner, your beloved ex-Wonkette editor who is now editor-in-chief of New York City’s Vanity Fair organization (the Mafia), typed up some wacky jokes today about the faptastic new $100 bill looking all European and socialist, probably before going to her business lunch at a strip club, or wherever they eat in New York. And then Matt Drudge took it seriously and made it his top story. Juli probably has 900 billion page views by now and is reaping her reward: a teaspoon of Graydon Carter’s finest smuggled Iranian caviar. Juli is such a Drudge link-whore, all the time. [Vanity Fair]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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0 comments

  1. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Plus they have kept the picture of Franklin, long known to have been a progressive/Socialist/NAZI sex freak who liked him some Europeans long before Obama smoked his first doobie.

  2. Texan Bulldoggette

    Are you saying Matt doesn’t understand satire? Imagine that, another Repub. that doesn’t get satire.

    OT but why is the Earth Day Rally using pics of John Legend that are out of focus & make him look like a 7-11 robber? Couldn’t those guys get a half way decent pic of the dude on the Internet tubes or maybe snap a quick shot of him on their iPhone? Seriously–that’s been bugging me. Thank you.

  3. ManchuCandidate

    Wow Drudge, you’re “so quick” and “on the ball”.

    Did they remove Drudge’s snark detector when he started wearing that hat?

  4. lissonifan

    Oh, I really wish Juli would come back to Wonkette, mainly because I took a look at those comments over on her VF blog, and they are just really sad and clueless. It seems rather unfair to our beloved Juli.

  5. WonderWomyn

    She writes: “Um, Drudge-siren! Is this bill a Communist-style invasion of our civil liberties? A fascist and also very European-seeming prohibition of our Constitutional right to produce and distribute counterfeit currency?”

    She mentions Drudge-sirens… and gets them? Did he miss this sentence? Has he got “google alerts set to “Drudge” and that’s how he picked this up? In any case it’s very funny. Juli rocks!

  6. thehelveticascenario

    Is it possible that Republicans actually take all their positions from parodies of themselves?

  7. WonderWomyn

    [re=561754]thehelveticascenario[/re]: Then this blog is a republican think-tank in a way! Scary!

  8. Escape Goat Nation

    The only thing that would be worse is if NOBAMA decided to make bill denominations in different sizes so that I couldn’t rip off blind people anymore.

  9. SayItWithWookies

    Of course Drudge was fooled — I mean, look at the damn bill. It’s got a pen and ink on it. Now it may be mightier than the sword and all that, but nobody’s ever been afraid of a damn pen. If it was a real American modern hundred damn dollar bill, it’d have a 3-D movie hologram playing constantly. Night-vision camera footage from a A-310 blowing people away as they run from some meeting into their cars outside. Granted it might have been movie night or something, but who’s gonna know? Oh, and it plays Flight of the Valkyries. A pen — huh.

  10. Sharkey

    [re=561746]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: He doesn’t really belong to any political spectrum, he is one unto himself.

    And I think that’s a rather flattering picture, cough cough.


  11. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=561745]Terry[/re]: [re=561749]lissonifan[/re]: Yeah, I think at least a touch of WARBLOGGING might be needed in those comments. Drudge-endorsed links are always full of material.

  12. Sharkey

    What I meant to say was that Matt D. is not a republican, per se. No one knows what he really is.

    I think he actually does understand satire… after over a decade of being a top-rated internet news source…

    In other words, Juli turned in some wonderful work.

  13. Mr Blifil

    Hah, I chuckled as I spread Vegamite on my pumpernickel and washed it down with a Lambic brew.

  14. stew

    Not to get off subject, but I just want you all to know that I offered my doctor two (two!) chickens for my recent appendectomy and I he just shook his head and said “nice try, asshole!”. When you can’t trust republican senate candidates…

  15. Radiotherapy

    re=561763]Jim Newell[/re]: The style, the snark, the subtlety that is opaque to wingtards…Don’t you you think this could be an intellectual property issue? Maybe we could e-mail, or tweet/beep, or something, CJ Roberts.

    BTW, Tiger’s little PGA/POA on the sidebar. Nothing subtle there.

  16. DustBowlBlues

    [re=561749]lissonifan[/re]: Juli made the mistake I have been known to make on a lesser, less famous scale: forgetting wonkette is funny in a sharp, sarcastic over-the-top way. The rest of the world is humorless and lacking in sarcasm. This resonates with me, as here in the Dust Bowl, people are especially stoopid and stoopids never get humor. Except if Hopey slipped on a banana peel–now that would be funny.

  17. DustBowlBlues

    [re=561771]stew[/re]: I’m going to a wedding in Nevada in October. Should I take some chickens along in case I get sick?

  18. Troubledog

    In this thread we rage about the cool kids and how that shit ain’t right. Later we are going to drink organic free trade gin and start a twitterfight with Michael Wolff.

  19. The Toot

    Mike Allen will lead the morning with an exclusive cut-and-paste of Juli’s hard work. Official, important DC will swoon. Over Mike.

  20. Jim89048

    [re=561785]DustBowlBlues[/re]: My doctor wouldn’t even accept a gift certificate to the Chicken Ranch!

  21. Abou Diaby

    “Most Obama supporters will never see one of these Franklins in person anyway.”

    That about says it all.

  22. iburl

    So, the president is also in charge of anti-counterfeit uglification measures on the currency? I’m surprised even a time managing master like Dubya could find so much time for cedar clearing vacations.

  23. Jukesgrrl

    [re=561799]imissopus[/re]: “Sad to know Juli abandoned us for such a lesser class of commenters.”

    Yes, but on the positive side, she appears to have taken the idiot selling Ed Hardy shirts with her.

  24. bago

    I’m not trying to hop on the conventional wisdom bandwagon, but… Goddamn some of them commenters went full retard. Is that the price you have to pay for volume? Shit Bonerz!

  25. S.Luggo

    [re=561849]bago[/re]:
    Why do you rail against commenters who post to the board of a slick magazine which boosts sales with peek-a-boo photos of Christina Hendricks’ plump, swelling mammaries?

    Clearly, they are more perspicacious than you or me. Okay, than me.

  26. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    I just got around to watching the video you linked to. I was surprised to discover that the new $100 bills are entirely rendered in CGI. Will the Federal Reserve be releasing 3-D versions on Blu-Ray?

  27. gurukalehuru

    commenter x: Nobama! Libtards! Socialism!
    commenter y: I think it was intended to be satire
    commenter x: I knew it was satire. But what’s really funny is all you libtards. Nobama is spending us into socialism!

  28. ella

    The comments over there are just sad. What a bunch of tight-assed literalists, the type who always assume “teh” is a typo, unless followed by [sic].

  29. x111e7thst

    [re=561782]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Here in NY the oposite is often true. Co-workers think I am joking when I am completely serious. As when I tell them “Go away and leave me alone, I hate you and I want you to suffer”. And they think I am just trying to be funny.

  30. PineyWoodster

    [re=561866]gurukalehuru[/re]: Yeah, and about time, too. Where’s my single payer health care system and efficient rail network?

  31. Tundra Grifter

    This is great! A throwback to when NewsBusters used to quote The Onion as a real news source.

    On another note, I recently heard Off-the-Mark Levin accuse of Democrats of “Drudging” something up. A Freudian slip! Or, at least a pair of Freudian panties.

  32. Woodwards Friend

    Savior this moment, Juli. You never forget winning your first morning. Or evening, as it were.

  33. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    For what it’s worth, and I’ve emailed this on to tips@wonkette, Megan Kelly had a bit on FOX News where Trace Gallagher quoted, without irony, Juli’s column on the Socialistic take over of our country through fruity $100 bills.

    Ah, fair and balance.