Rapey Priests Don’t Like Touching Children Who Take Raid® Baths Before Church
by Riley Waggaman 1:30 pm April 12, 2010
-
Support Pam Gorman for Congress because she bled for you and woah, if you act like you don’t care that someone just bled all over the place so that you could have freedom, well, that’s just bad juju right there. [RedState]
-
Oh no, K-Lo will not be finger-banging NRO donors today! Bad juju indeed. [The Corner]
-
This video encourages parents to mutilate their children with insecticide in order to repel rapey Catholic priests. (This is a good idea.) [The Daily Dish]
-
Baseball umpires need to nad-up and end games on time because Americans have tight teevee schedules and they can’t afford to miss another episode of Lost or whatever. [Reason]
-
The Internet has called Barack Obama many names, mostly bad names really, but “college student” is by far the most derogatory and hurtful and will somebody please fax this hate to the Wiesenthal Center immediately? [Intern Riley: True/Slant]
Tagged
- barack obama,
- baseball,
- bleeding a lot,
- blood,
- college,
- hating yourself,
- lost,
- pam gorman,
- priests,
- rumors on the internets,
- sexy time,
- whores
Kirsten Boyd Johnson (924)
Rebecca Schoenkopf (413)
Liz Colville (170)
Kris E. Benson (10)
Sulagna Misra (3)
John Schoenkopf (7)
Jim Newell (5640)
Josh Fruhlinger (646)
Erik Jay (27)
Blair Burke (181)
{ 30 comments }
Erickson must be related to Pam Gorman or owe her money. He’s been pimping her for a long time.
GUARD YOUR EARS — with Gorman Ear Guards!
I think Christopher Hitchens and Richard Dawkins have a better solution to dealing with the Catholic church’s problem. Which the church ought to approve, since they’ve gotten two of the world’s most famous atheists to believe in first causes.
My new hobby is going to be playing “spot the racist dog-whistle phrase in the conservative article”, because, it’s always, always, there.
For example, “Because he’s the stereotypical American undergrad at a stereotypical Ivy League college in the age of political correctness.”
Actually means “Because he’s the stereotypical American undergrad at a stereotypical Ivy League college, now that they’ve let the coloreds into those schools and all.”
Whee, this is fun! And makes me despair of humanity.
[re=553843]SayItWithWookies[/re]: tag fail?
[re=553852]bitchincamaro[/re]: Apparently my ethnic heritage precludes me from properly embedding hyperlinks.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/04/12/richard-dawkins-arrest-th_n_533837.html
MLB should ban the use of golf gloves for all hitters. The obsessive-compulsive fucking around with the Velcro straps is infuriating. It goes without saying that the crotch grabbing should occur only in the lockerroom, as well.
B vitamin-rich toddler urine is a good color on you, Riley.
So, is Gorman a saint now, or just out of tampons?
[re=553857]bitchincamaro[/re]: Why do you hate Nomar Garciaparra?
[re=553856]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The pope as “leering old villain in a frock” in the dock? Dawkins rocks!
Why is NRO constantly begging for donors. Isn’t it a business? Why do they hate capitalism?
[re=553864]SayItWithWookies[/re]: He’s the worst, but Jeter, et al, are co-conspirators.
Ah, the old springtime tradition in which some media-type with an empty in basket, decides he can improve the game of baseball.
It’s Reason in the batters box, with George Will on deck, no doubt.
Erick, why don’t you just keep your fantasies about this Pam to yourself; this public fapping over her image is really unseemly, and not something anyone else wants to see (if you were an attractive man, maybe some would; but you are not).
I’ve certainly read and heard many annoying “good old days” whines from bitter white old (see Richard Cohen and Andy Rooney for the worst), but this little complaint about baseball is one of the most pathetic, dealing with a complete non-issue. What, do late games make Steve stay up past his bedtime?
[re=553870]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Hell, think of the Twinkie budget alone!
(No, they are not a business, they are a propaganda outfit, but lean times makes the wingnut welfare gravy train a little shorter on gravy).
Riley, calling Pajamas Media a “diarrhea reservoir” is an insult to diarrhea reservoirs everywhere.
Also, Michael Ledeen is obviously trying to compensate for having a microscopic penis, as well.
I miss when you used to call her Kathryn Jean “jonah goldberg” lopez….
lols
I umpired youth (ages 12 to 16) and some adult rec baseball for two years. Baseball players are the most superstitious athletes in the world. All that shit they do before they get in the batter’s box is exactly as effective as all that shit your average lab rat does in the Skinner box before it presses the bar for a food pellet. It’s not OCD, it’s superstitious behavior and it starts at about age 12 or so. Fiddling with straps, genuflecting, pointing out Jesus in the clouds may appear to be a way to avoid actually facing the pitcher, but it’s really shit they think works to improve their batting average from .198 or so.
[re=553880]JMP[/re]: Actually, I’m down with the baseball guy. Three hours of baseball sounds a lot like 3 hours in the dentist’s waiting room to me.
Here’s my suggestion for how to speed the game up and save the owners a few million a year so in turn they could reduce ticket prices and bring more fans into the game.
Use pitching machines instead of pitchers. Every pitch a strike, zipping across the plate in randomized high, low, inside, outside pitches but every single one at blinding speed and separated by six seconds, batter might as well swing at every one, no balls, no bases on balls, 3 across, 3 down, fap, fap, fap (sound of ball hitting catcher’s glove, you low minded perverts)
But pay no attention to my opinion. I’ve always hated baseball. Think Les Nessman.
Jesus, Riley. They make you bury your plug in the bottom of a shitty news dump, but Ken gets to use a standalone?
Is this K-Lo person the inspiration for, or the alter ego of, that Jean Teasdale columnist over at the Onion?
[re=553873]bitchincamaro[/re]: I just noticed that little diatribe was in Reason. The irony of a libertarian mag calling for stricter rule enforcement (so the little Johnny Galts can get to their jobs on time in the morning?) is too pleasant not to savor for a minute.
[re=553894]gurukalehuru[/re]: You actually think owners might lower ticket prices, for any reason? That’s never gonna happen. And game delays mean more commercials which means more profit, so there’s not much incentive to shorten things.
[re=553907]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Exactly. Vote with your dollars, little Johnny Galto.
I thought the possibility of a never-ending baseball game was one of the reasons it was the ultimate ‘merrican sport. Or some shit like that was in a George Will column I didn’t really read, but skimmed over to see if I could spot the most pompous-assed phrase of the week.
So if you can’t get Joe at the hardware store to represent you in Congress then Pat Gorman is the next choice. That doesn’t come across as a really great reason to get behind a candidate.
Although she had been the Arizona Whip and then she was stripped so she is probably a fun date.
Why has Intern Riley disregarded the lesbian sex in college. We all know college is all about the lesbian sex. Yet Riley makes no effort to comment on Obama and lesbian sex. What gives, Riley?
Doesn’t the smell of Raid clash with teen spirit? Sometimes the juju surpasseth all understanding.
Kathleen Parker just won a Pulitzer for her columns in the Washington Post? Seriously, WTF? Who is picking the Pultizers these days?
To me, that’s the beauty of baseball. No time limits. While I agree, some of the antics that pitchers and batters go through is a bit excessive, nothing returns me to my 8 year old self like sitting in the sun at a ball park.
Baseball is not a sport for people that were raised on Ritalin.
Comments on this entry are closed.