BECAUSE THE FART APP ALONE CANNOT DEFEND FREEDOM: “Those who dismiss the Tea Party movement as a bunch of rednecks may be interested to know that the Tea Party Patriots now have a new iPhone app.” Indeed! Originally designed as a GPS device for locating Thomas Jefferson’s expertly hidden geocaches, “The Tea Party Finder” can also backwards-fax Scott Brown an annotated copy of the Articles of Confederation with a preface by Ayn Rand written in glitter-sharpie. It also lets you Chatroulette with random Tea Party Leaders and their respective dangly bits. [HuffPo]
FREE DOWNLOADS 4:05 pm March 9, 2010
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{ 33 comments }
It’s a wonderful app — you input your location and it finds the nearest cluster of fat, illiterate angry bigots who tell you you should read the Constitution.
Just send an e-mail to the dipshit listserv that claims that the government developed the application in conjunction with the CIA fillings in their head in order to track their lumber purchases.
Wha? Wait? This doesn’t appear to have anything to do with ball gargling.
[re=527413]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Ah sweet, a Dunkin Donuts locator!
Hey, according to the Teabagger leaders (is JennyBeth the scary old redhead with the giant breasts and no bra?), “the app [is] “very cool” and “state of the art.”" And certainly, finding addresses close to yours has got to be one of the most high-tech advances out there; why, it’s nothing that could simply be done with the regular old internet more than ten years ago.
Unfortunately for teabaggers, to use the app, you have to own an iphone and know how to operate one.
Feh. All that trouble when all you really need to do is keep an eye out for the white hoods.
Suck on that android users.
Hah hah, they’re now iPad apps, so suck my ballz.
I kept trying to download this teabagging ap, but every time I typed it in, it directed me to Eric Massa’s Web site.
[re=527425]EdFlinstone[/re]: Why do teabaggers own phones of any type? Interesting how they support science and technology when it produces products they want to use, but not when it tells truths they don’t want to hear.
Can anybody input a teabagger soiree? If so, this is an app ripe for abuse. The Larry Craig memorial restroom is the first place that comes to my mind.
Hey, how do you think I met last night’s boyfriend?
I thought this app was called Grindr.
Mein Gott, Intern Riley, sehr gut! vier Gewinner!!
Ayn: Preface by Frau Rand mit glitter sharpie
Swine: backwards fax Brownie Too
Dry: TJ’s geocaches
Fear: Chatroulette mit random UberTeabaggers
So it’s like match.com for morans, only new and improved with barely legible, nonsensical app names.
[re=527437]Diana Davies[/re]: That was YOU?
Wouldn’t a proper tea party app be able to print out paper doilies and cucumber sandwiches? Or at least locate them as well? I should hope so.
[re=527437]Diana Davies[/re]: You met with a teabagger? Eww.
I don’t really care about a preface by Zombie Ayn Rand. You had me at glitter-sharpie, however.
Surely there was a gaydar app before this?
[re=527424]JMP[/re]: Or a reverse directory for, oh, the last 50 years or so. And you can find them at the library where Beck says the books are “free”.
Young Riley: Kudos for the Articles of Confederation reference. I’m sure the teabaggers wouldn’t know the difference.
Let’s trick a teabagger: Who’s known as the Father of the Constitution?
How many Teabaggers would answer, “Thomas Jefferson”?
This is gonna be one tough decision for your average teabagger. Do they spend the money on the iphone and app, or seeds for the crisis garden(google it), more ammo or finish building the bunker?
This is NOT what Steven Jobs had in mind.
[re=527469]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Yup, except that it shorts out the nearer you get to RNC headquarters.
There’s an app that shows the location of the nearest tea-bagging party? Someone needs to flag that for adult content.
Ooooooh, an iPhone app. I think one could attract more disgruntled white fatties with a “Free Corn Dogs” sign on a lawn.
Someone needs to make an iPhone App that texts “free truck nuts” to all Teabaggers.
[re=527479]EdFlinstone[/re]: http://www.survivalseedbank.com/ For the delusional gardener in your life!
[re=527590]davitydave[/re]: Ya know, today was the first time I’ve watched Beck’s show on Fox. So this was my introduction to the survival seeds for my crisis garden commercial. I could not believe what I was watching. They actually hyped up vegetables will be the ultimate barter goods. I guess for the Becktards, were headed for some post apocalyptic mad max world where we get things by trading tomatoes. But I shouldnt be shocked after seeing his doom scenario a few months back via the Colbert Report, filled with meth addict hillbillies running the streets and through ghost malls. The one sure sign we maybe headed for doom is that this tard has one of the highest rated shows on cable news.
Wow! This will make it so much easier for the black helicopters to get us all to the FEMA camps.
Hooray!
[re=527443]chaste everywhere[/re]: It’s a small wonketteer world, isn’t it? Call me.
It’s state of the art, but the art is fingerpainting.
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