CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THIS NEWS: “Under intense pressure from Democratic Party officials, Harold E. Ford Jr., the former Tennessee congressman, has decided not to challenge Sen. Kirsten E. Gillibrand in the primary this fall, according to two people told of his plans.” This is just an extreme disappointment for comedy, one for which there is no comprehensive one-liner at the moment. [NYT]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  1. Polisurgist

    Dude, if the Democratic Party can push you around like that, I’m not sure you’re qualified to run.

  2. Troubledog

    Fortunately, Murtha’s demise opened up a spot for itinerant carpetbagging in Pennsylvania. You’ll love it there.

  3. Zadig

    [re=522332]Potater[/re]: Please don’t, we don’t want you here. And that’s even considering the OTHER people who live in TN.

  4. DickTaterPeeNoShay

    PLEEEEEEZZZZZE HAROLD, Don’t move back to to Tennessee.

    Signed affectionately,

  5. norbizness

    Gas up the helicopter, let’s see if there are any other states who need that special brand of corporate whoredom.

  6. Zadig

    [re=522338]Jim Newell[/re]: A good call, actually, as TN has no state income tax, instead opting for a high sales tax. Fuck you, poor people!

  7. Hunger Tallest Palin

    Who wants a stinky old Senate office when there’s a governor’s mansion up for grabs!

  8. Single Player

    Thank God that Merrill Lynch has its Vice Chairman back again! Strategic synergies will soon be ramping up and the economy will recover! Thanks, Harold!

  9. Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=522350]Zadig[/re]: Ditto for TX (8.25% in Austin) & of course our property taxes are un-freaking-believably high. Oh, & I hate Rick Perry…

  10. Zadig

    [re=522365]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I recall the first time I bought something in a state with no sales tax. “You mean… you mean this costs what it says it does?” *tears of joy*

  11. SayItWithWookies

    “I refuse to do anything,” he wrote…

    Noted for future reference. Merrill-Lynch will just have to buy themselves one on the open market like the’ve always done.

  12. progressiveinga

    He asked his Magic 8-Ball if he should run and it said “Outlook not so good”. No brainer really.

  13. SayItWithWookies

    [re=522379]progressiveinga[/re]: If he really wanted to run, he’d’ve asked again. What do you think that dipshit Palin is bugging The LORD

  14. SayItWithWookies

    (ahem — sorry) What do you think that dipshit Palin is bugging The LORD about three times a day?

  15. dr.giraud

    The comedy will resume in Tennessee, when he returns to run for [insert office here] and repudiates ev’rything he said in New York because the drinking the New York water made him a little gay.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    [re=522398]progressiveinga[/re]: It’s probably the other way around, but you get the idea.

  17. kungfusheriff

    Headline: Spoiled Prick Anticipates Hard Work, Preemptively Quits
    If only Dubya had had that much quittin’ in him. Later, bro!

  18. marioninnyc

    He made the sacrifice for us because he knew it would get ugly. What a brave, pure, noble soul. Just too good for the cynical, dirty old town of New York.

  19. SayItWithWookies

    [re=522491]S.Luggo[/re]: That’s quite a trick that FT writer tried — criticize Reagan’s followers for being shallow, unprincipled idiots while calling the original shallow unprincipled idiot a successful president. It would’ve looked silly even if it had been done well.

  20. Scooter

    And thus the Ford-Imus-Scarborough love-triangle is free to resume its peculiar style of wankery.

  21. Long Form Def Certificate

    This is actually a genius move on Ford’s part. He can skip the formality — & cost — of a primary in NY (which would be considerably more expensive than the general in TN in ’06) & get on the November ballot via signature collection as an Independent. Just like his mentor, Joe Liebermann.

    Those two Social Security bamboozlers can get adjoining Capitol offices after the inevitable “insurgent” win for HFJ.

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