QUITTERS  7:42 pm March 1, 2010

by Jim Newell

CAN’T EVEN HANDLE THIS NEWS: “Under intense pressure from Democratic Party officials, Harold E. Ford Jr., the former Tennessee congressman, has decided not to challenge Sen. Kirsten E. Gillibrand in the primary this fall, according to two people told of his plans.” This is just an extreme disappointment for comedy, one for which there is no comprehensive one-liner at the moment. [NYT]

 
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{ 44 comments }

Polisurgist March 1, 2010 at 7:46 pm

Dude, if the Democratic Party can push you around like that, I’m not sure you’re qualified to run.

Troubledog March 1, 2010 at 7:51 pm

Fortunately, Murtha’s demise opened up a spot for itinerant carpetbagging in Pennsylvania. You’ll love it there.

Potater March 1, 2010 at 7:52 pm

Aw, fuck, does this mean he’s coming back to Tennessee?

Zadig March 1, 2010 at 7:54 pm

[re=522332]Potater[/re]: Please don’t, we don’t want you here. And that’s even considering the OTHER people who live in TN.

Jim Newell March 1, 2010 at 7:55 pm

[re=522332]Potater[/re]: Only his taxable income.

Cookie Guggelman March 1, 2010 at 8:01 pm

He wanted more time to explore all the NYC restaurants in his Zagat.

DickTaterPeeNoShay March 1, 2010 at 8:03 pm

PLEEEEEEZZZZZE HAROLD, Don’t move back to to Tennessee.

Signed affectionately,
Tennessee

norbizness March 1, 2010 at 8:03 pm

Gas up the helicopter, let’s see if there are any other states who need that special brand of corporate whoredom.

Harvey Birdman March 1, 2010 at 8:04 pm

Gay Power. [fist in air]

Zadig March 1, 2010 at 8:09 pm

[re=522338]Jim Newell[/re]: A good call, actually, as TN has no state income tax, instead opting for a high sales tax. Fuck you, poor people!

Hooray For Anything March 1, 2010 at 8:11 pm

This should definitely open up a hole for Governor Paterson to run.

rocktonsammy March 1, 2010 at 8:13 pm

Must want to spend more time with family or something.

hailripley March 1, 2010 at 8:21 pm

This is good news… for Scott Brown!

Hunger Tallest Palin March 1, 2010 at 8:28 pm

Who wants a stinky old Senate office when there’s a governor’s mansion up for grabs!

Single Player March 1, 2010 at 8:30 pm

Thank God that Merrill Lynch has its Vice Chairman back again! Strategic synergies will soon be ramping up and the economy will recover! Thanks, Harold!

Texan Bulldoggette March 1, 2010 at 8:31 pm

[re=522350]Zadig[/re]: Ditto for TX (8.25% in Austin) & of course our property taxes are un-freaking-believably high. Oh, & I hate Rick Perry…

Oldskool March 1, 2010 at 8:33 pm

He’s taking on the John Edwards aura of loserdom.

Zadig March 1, 2010 at 8:36 pm

[re=522365]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I recall the first time I bought something in a state with no sales tax. “You mean… you mean this costs what it says it does?” *tears of joy*

Buttery1000 March 1, 2010 at 8:36 pm

Get ready for more shitty appearances on Morning Joe.

rocktonsammy March 1, 2010 at 8:39 pm

May be a joo should step in and run beings they’re good with money and in NY.

Socialist hip replacement March 1, 2010 at 8:51 pm

The world is literally his oyster.

SayItWithWookies March 1, 2010 at 9:01 pm

“I refuse to do anything,” he wrote…

Noted for future reference. Merrill-Lynch will just have to buy themselves one on the open market like the’ve always done.

progressiveinga March 1, 2010 at 9:04 pm

He asked his Magic 8-Ball if he should run and it said “Outlook not so good”. No brainer really.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 1, 2010 at 9:04 pm

But who will represent the people of Tennessee who move to New York now?

S.Luggo March 1, 2010 at 9:05 pm

Harold, we’ll always have Syracuse.

SayItWithWookies March 1, 2010 at 9:10 pm

[re=522379]progressiveinga[/re]: If he really wanted to run, he’d’ve asked again. What do you think that dipshit Palin is bugging The LORD

SayItWithWookies March 1, 2010 at 9:11 pm

(ahem — sorry) What do you think that dipshit Palin is bugging The LORD about three times a day?

Come here a minute March 1, 2010 at 9:13 pm

Try Kentucky, Harold.

dr.giraud March 1, 2010 at 9:25 pm

The comedy will resume in Tennessee, when he returns to run for [insert office here] and repudiates ev’rything he said in New York because the drinking the New York water made him a little gay.

progressiveinga March 1, 2010 at 9:27 pm

[re=522388]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Jesus has a Magic 8-Ball?

southern mark smith March 1, 2010 at 9:33 pm

[re=522398]progressiveinga[/re]: Jesus could have turned vitamin pills into amphetamines, if he wanted to. No wonder there are so many Christians.

progressiveinga March 1, 2010 at 9:36 pm

[re=522404]southern mark smith[/re]: Word.

SayItWithWookies March 1, 2010 at 9:44 pm

[re=522398]progressiveinga[/re]: It’s probably the other way around, but you get the idea.

southern mark smith March 1, 2010 at 9:46 pm

[re=522408]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The magic 8-Ball has Jesus?

SayItWithWookies March 1, 2010 at 10:13 pm

[re=522410]southern mark smith[/re]: Exactly.

kungfusheriff March 1, 2010 at 10:46 pm

Headline: Spoiled Prick Anticipates Hard Work, Preemptively Quits
If only Dubya had had that much quittin’ in him. Later, bro!

Surfeit O'Hubris March 2, 2010 at 12:07 am

Today we are all chickenshit flip-flopping carpetbaggers.

marioninnyc March 2, 2010 at 12:39 am

He made the sacrifice for us because he knew it would get ugly. What a brave, pure, noble soul. Just too good for the cynical, dirty old town of New York.

S.Luggo March 2, 2010 at 1:55 am

[re=522388]SayItWithWookies[/re]:

http://tinyurl.com/yjeuezt

How Reagan ruined conservatism
http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/94a998da-2598-11df-9bd3-00144feab49a.html
Pity.

Smoke Filled Roommate March 2, 2010 at 2:58 am

This feels like Democracy..

SayItWithWookies March 2, 2010 at 3:01 am

[re=522491]S.Luggo[/re]: That’s quite a trick that FT writer tried — criticize Reagan’s followers for being shallow, unprincipled idiots while calling the original shallow unprincipled idiot a successful president. It would’ve looked silly even if it had been done well.

Scooter March 2, 2010 at 3:41 am

And thus the Ford-Imus-Scarborough love-triangle is free to resume its peculiar style of wankery.

Long Form Def Certificate March 2, 2010 at 12:45 pm

This is actually a genius move on Ford’s part. He can skip the formality — & cost — of a primary in NY (which would be considerably more expensive than the general in TN in ’06) & get on the November ballot via signature collection as an Independent. Just like his mentor, Joe Liebermann.

Those two Social Security bamboozlers can get adjoining Capitol offices after the inevitable “insurgent” win for HFJ.

AnglRdr March 2, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Betcha he comes back to Tennessee to run for Governor.

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