QUEL HORREUR  2:54 pm February 19, 2010

by Jim Newell

BREAKING: Wacky old Sally Quinn has two weddings to attend on the same day, due to an inadvertent scheduling problem, and may only be able to attend one. [Washington Post]

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Hola wonkerados.

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queeraselvis v 2.0 February 19, 2010 at 3:00 pm

Social. Death.

V572625694 February 19, 2010 at 3:00 pm

First sentence (“lede” in journo-speak) fail: “People often ask me how to make conversation at dinner parties.” I’ll bet what people really ask her is, “Was fucking Ben Bradlee worth it? Cuz he was old, even then.”

honkyman February 19, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Oh golly, times are so rough for the ruling classes. Wonder which wedding Dame Peggy will choose to attend. Sure to be a major fuss-making decision.

Come here a minute February 19, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Bob needs to send one of his fine “Tip.. About what?” messages again.

Another breaking story: the demon sheep are multiplying.

jetjaguar February 19, 2010 at 3:02 pm

Our thoughts and prayers go out to Sally Quinn?

SayItWithWookies February 19, 2010 at 3:06 pm

So if Sally Quinn has her chauffeur fly a plane into a bakery, we’ll know whose fault it is.

dr.giraud February 19, 2010 at 3:07 pm


Inbreeding among these people should be prohibited.

thesheriffisnear February 19, 2010 at 3:08 pm

“People often ask me how to make conversation at dinner parties”. Because, if Sally is a subject matter expert about ANYTHING its dinner parties; being a pretentious FUCK, also.

problemwithcaring February 19, 2010 at 3:09 pm

And Desirée Rogers said nothing.

qwerty42 February 19, 2010 at 3:10 pm

So, Jim, will you and Sara attend the one in Washington and Ken attend the one in California or what?

V572625694 February 19, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Okay, tried it again, and made it several paragraphs in before giving up in disgust. How could anyone be so self-absorbed as to think other people might possibly give a flying fuck about the scheduling difficulties of their childrens’ weddings? Ms Quinn failed as a journalist, to be sure, but was it because she couldn’t tell the difference between a newspaper article and blog that no one would ever read?

Sarjo February 19, 2010 at 3:15 pm

So Sally Qinn is an AKA of Ms. Nooninghamshire? Or just went to the same journalism school?

Jim Newell February 19, 2010 at 3:16 pm

[re=516246]qwerty42[/re]: Unfortunately that’s how we’ll have to break it down.

emmasue February 19, 2010 at 3:17 pm

good god who gives a fck

JMP February 19, 2010 at 3:20 pm

Oh, finishing it is great. There was never any fighting over the same dates because her whole family had decided not to show up to the step-granddaughter’s wedding; so see, the overlapping dates weren’t designed to shun her, that had already been taken care of.

Pop Socket February 19, 2010 at 3:21 pm

Her autistic son knocks up his girlfriend and the new wedding date conflicts with her husband’s grand daughter’s wedding. It’s like a Eugene O’Neill play.

hedgehog February 19, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Just a tad self-important? What’s next — Sally apologizes in the Post for farting at a state dinner?

Don’t know which is a bigger faux pas — the wedding double booking, or writing about it in the Post.

samsuncle February 19, 2010 at 3:24 pm

This is what is killing newspapers. Who wants to pay good money to have such drivel delivered to your front door?

BlueStateLiberal February 19, 2010 at 3:26 pm

And we wonder why no one’s buying newspapers anymore? BTW, best use of flashing siren ever.

proudgrampa February 19, 2010 at 3:27 pm

[re=516260]Jim Newell[/re]: Now that was funny…

[re=516256]Sarjo[/re]: They must be sisters.

[re=516231]jetjaguar[/re]: FTW!

PlanetWingnuta February 19, 2010 at 3:31 pm

Today we are all confused which wedding to attend to and are great dinner conversationalists…(whew…that’s a mouthful…but not like the mouthfuls the Cpackers on craigslist are hoping to get)

SalAcious February 19, 2010 at 3:33 pm

People often ask me how to make conversation at dinner parties. I usually lop off my husband’s penis and mail it to his ex-wife.

Hooray For Anything February 19, 2010 at 3:39 pm

That’s okay, there’s plenty of ex-Bush aides out there for the Post to hire and send in her place.

Monsieur Grumpe February 19, 2010 at 3:39 pm

“It never occurred to any of us that my mistake would be a story,”
Sally, the writing of this story is the mistake.

hillarys_left_nut February 19, 2010 at 3:42 pm

I didn’t want to know any of this, but now that I do I demand to know what these “family tensions” were that led plucky Sally and somebody I can’t quite decipher from the syntax–Martha Raddatz?–to decide to fuck over dear Greta.

Somebody go wake up Wooodward.

Katydid February 19, 2010 at 3:44 pm

[re=516282]SalAcious[/re]: OK! So it WAS a Wonketteer who posted this on the WaPo. J’accuse!

jeff9741 wrote:
People often ask me how to make conversation at dinner parties. I usually spin my head around five times in rotation, bare my fangs, speak in tongues for half a minute and then barf out an article for the Style section.

Doglessliberal February 19, 2010 at 3:44 pm

Ooooh, her son is marrying a divorcee!!!!!!! Quel horreur! (and a divorcee who was introduced to him by Maureen Dodd. How perfect)

Doglessliberal February 19, 2010 at 3:49 pm

I am just amazed by every sentence. She blames poor Ben for not successfully completing a task she for some reason asked him to do (with a nice little 1950′s, sexist “watch out ladies when you ask your hubbies to do anything important!”), then there’s the family tensions BS, then, oh noes! We cannot have a baby born out of wedlock!

Jesus. It IS 1950 in Sally Quinn Land?

qwerty42 February 19, 2010 at 3:50 pm

[re=516260]Jim Newell[/re]: Well, if Our Wonkette were not present, I’m not even sure they’d really be married. OTOH, Riley is the one with the top hat, which, I assume, will be de rigueur for such an occasion.

teebob2000 February 19, 2010 at 3:52 pm

Who the fuck is Sally fucking Quinn?

bureaucrap February 19, 2010 at 3:53 pm

“And I just want all the Post readers to know that, except for three or four of you, you’re not invited to either of them. So stop thinking it. Damn Plebes.”

SalAcious February 19, 2010 at 3:54 pm

From the WaPo site:

rowerinva wrote:
Thousands of Haitians read this article, wept, and recognized that in comparison their troubles weren’t so bad …

hillarys_left_nut February 19, 2010 at 3:54 pm

“Greta is a caring and generous young woman, and so is her fiance, and we love her very much.”

I’m out in the hinterlands but… is this bad writing or is Greta getting gay-married? seems that would be your lede….

Mr Blifil February 19, 2010 at 3:54 pm

During my dirty sex fantasy-having time, I sometimes pause to consider whether it would demonstrate more politesse oblige to splooge on Sally Quinn’s right tit, or her left one. Or do I just split the baby and go nuts on both of ‘em? It’s kind of like a conundrum, more like a cumallovrum.

gurukalehuru February 19, 2010 at 3:55 pm

[re=516229]Come here a minute[/re]: The explanation makes sense, but still, how can two seperate instances of demon sheep possibly be completely unrelated. The universe is collapsing upon itself.

S.Luggo February 19, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Why did Quinn bother to write a column? Her ‘mea culpa’ merits a Tiger Woods-caliber press conference.

Escape Goat Nation February 19, 2010 at 3:56 pm

I think, “Sally Quinn” is a Pogues song.

Larry McAwful February 19, 2010 at 3:57 pm

This is almost a brilliant, insightful piece. All it needs is some way to make it relevent to, um, anyone else out there, and it’ll be perfect.

I suppose I could take some of my personal emails and submit them as newspaper columns, too. Maybe I will. How much does it pay?

Doglessliberal February 19, 2010 at 3:57 pm

[re=516308]hillarys_left_nut[/re]: bad writing, unfortunately. Nothing so outre in their family.

Autoo February 19, 2010 at 3:57 pm

The in-joke you would all get if you were regular Sally readers is that she can’t stand *either* of these couples and is going to blow off *both* weddings to spend the day smoking crack and drinking scotch with Peggy Noonan.

Try to keep up, people. SATIRE.

Autoo February 19, 2010 at 4:01 pm

[re=516313]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Sally Quin/Silly Quim, something like that.

S.Luggo February 19, 2010 at 4:01 pm

[re=516265]Pop Socket[/re]: [re=516244]problemwithcaring[/re]: Win.

SalAcious February 19, 2010 at 4:01 pm

Any chance she’ll be Kif’s “Worst Person in the World” tonight?

Fred Wertham Jr. February 19, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Anybody know how hard it is to build a guillotine?

Accordion-o-rama February 19, 2010 at 4:06 pm

4/10 2010: Never forget!

Memphis050505 February 19, 2010 at 4:07 pm

[re=516297]Doglessliberal[/re]: Why does Maureen hate Sally?

SalAcious February 19, 2010 at 4:07 pm

hillarys_left_nut says at 3:54 pm, February 19th, 2010
- Reply“Greta is a caring and generous young woman, and so is her fiance, and we love her very much.”

Ray Davies says: “I’m not the world’s most masculine man but I know what I am and I’m glad I’m a man and so is Lola…”

Escape Goat Nation February 19, 2010 at 4:08 pm

[re=516322]Autoo[/re]: Wow! The last time I saw that word was when I was a little kid looking at my friend’s Dad’s weird German Porno Magazines that were inexplicably translated into English.

Lambo February 19, 2010 at 4:10 pm

[re=516305]teebob2000[/re]: You took the works right out of my mouth (except you used twice as many ‘fucks’.)

MissEllie February 19, 2010 at 4:14 pm

According to the site, there have been “0″ comments posted on this article. I call foul. How many people are employed at the Post just to make sure that never a discouraging word is allowed about Sally Q?

Escape Goat Nation February 19, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Well I started reading it, but when I hit the stupid rich people’s names, I decided that I had read enough.

SalAcious February 19, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Oh there have been a bunch of comments. They’re just slow to load. It’s actually been pretty hilarious to read all the anti-Sals.

ida kutchakocov February 19, 2010 at 4:21 pm

Agreed hillarys. If I had to be sujected to this I need to know what the “tensions” are. Will there be violence or just therapy?

Doglessliberal February 19, 2010 at 4:21 pm

[re=516358]MissEllie[/re]: when I read the article, there were several, and glancing at the first, I can say there were along the lines of ours.

Mustang February 19, 2010 at 4:23 pm

I’ve been trapped many a time by rude, self-centered, self-deluded people prattling on and on about the mundane details of their boring lives, but this is the first time I have seen evidence of someone being paid to do it. WTG!

Mustang February 19, 2010 at 4:30 pm

“Then, in mid-January, we were thrilled to learn that Pary is pregnant, due Sept. 21, and decided to move up the date as quickly as possible.”

Translation: If she didn’t want her personal business broadcasted to the world, perhaps the little slut should have kept her legs closed.

Jukesgrrl February 19, 2010 at 5:28 pm

[re=516256]Sarjo[/re]: Believe me when I say Ms. Nooninghamshire (of Brooklyn with a degree from Fairleigh Dickinson) does not think her name should be uttered in the same breath as that of a shallow, hussy who married her boss, Sally Quinn (of Dupont Circle with a degree from Smith). Dame Peggy writes on Subjects of History-Making Consequence (Reagan, her son, what people said at a dinner party on the Upper East Side) and Shameless Quinn writes about … this shit (her son, Kissinger, what people said at a dinner party in Georgetown).

Oldskool February 19, 2010 at 5:34 pm

Those siren headlines crack me up every time.

S.Luggo February 19, 2010 at 5:45 pm

[re=516358]MissEllie[/re]: Wrong wrong wrong. There are 168 and some make Wonketteer comments read like Hallmark cards.

JooJoo Bee February 19, 2010 at 6:03 pm

“…Because of existing tensions, it would be best for all if none of us attended Greta’s wedding.” Presumably including Greta.

Holy Watergate on a stick. Is this what passes for news now, Chez Bradlee?

Looy February 19, 2010 at 6:39 pm
Tommmcatt February 19, 2010 at 7:05 pm

Wait, Sally who? She’s important or something, right?

Scaggsville guy February 19, 2010 at 7:12 pm

Someone I know who knows Ben Bradlee told me he’s been going gaga for years. So I think Sally intentionally gave him the “save the date” knowing he’d forget it in 3 seconds, and then she could blame him for everything, because she hates his kids from his many earlier marriages.

But the funniest thing is how she presents herself as an old aristocratic type, when really all she is is a nobody who slept with her powerful boss 40 years ago and has been trying to dine out on it ever since.

desertwind February 19, 2010 at 9:49 pm

Oooo, messy.

hotdog February 19, 2010 at 10:43 pm

I have nothing to say, but there were a total of two posts tagged “quel horreur,” and this one had 64 comments, and the other post had 65, so I thought the right thing to do would be to create a tie. Now, if only Joe Biden would log in to Wonkette and break the tie.

cashaholic February 19, 2010 at 10:47 pm

At first I thought, you know, WTF, but then I realized how much wisdom and guidance these people have to offer. And how genuinely challenging family can be, regardless of one’s station in life. I think this is one reason why the fourth estate, and particularly the established newspapers — stanchions, really, of wisdom and measured reason — remain such a vibrant force in our culture.

finallyhappy February 20, 2010 at 8:24 am

I realize now what with my own family, my community and silly things like health care reform, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the devastation in Haiti- I missed the huge issue that was the bradlee/quinn family debacle. I actually get the Washington Post delivered and live in the DC metro area(and this is absolutely true-during the time I acutally lived in DC years ago- I was a neighbor of Ben and Sally for a year- directly across the street from them- he was pleasant-would say good morning- she used to back her car up our narrow one way street because she was SALLY F–KING QUINN- or maybe Sally f-king ben bradlee Quinn). How did I miss this story? Was it written about or spoken about anywhere besides in Sally’s head?

smellyal8r February 20, 2010 at 10:42 am

The Post fired Froomken for this? Sally Quinn is well known in past and current Post newsrooms as the Cruella DeVille of boss marrying. She couldn’t wait to dissect every jot and tittle of the Clinton WH: how awful they were, how Bill was a boor, how Hillary was a beeyotch. Well, here’s a news flash. Out of wedlock=White Trash. Chelsea Clinton is supposed to be married sometime this summer, probably not knocked up and probably not by the high and mighty Bishop of Washington in the National Cathedral. SQ’s tone deafness, and Kathryn Weymouth’s willingness to run this crap in the paper does largely explain why American newspapers are on their last legs. Like Tiger’s “apology” this lands with a thud.

thefrontpage February 22, 2010 at 10:57 am

Here’s the question: Who the holy hell gives a damn about some family scheduling thing with Sally Quinn? Who cares? NO ONE CARES. Why was this piece of trash published in the increasingly strange and oddly-edited and layed-out Washington Post? Who the hell is running this newspaper? NOTHING by Sally Quinn should be published in this newspaper–nothing. Her stuff is terrible–absolutely terrible. And for the love of sanity, would bubble-world people wake up and realize that in the real world, the vast majority of real people among the approximately 4 million people living in the D.C. metropolitan area have absolutely zero to do with their sheltered little world and really don’t give a flying royal damn about their parties, their houses or their weddings. We just don’t give a damn.

smashy smashy February 25, 2010 at 10:00 pm

[re=516227]V572625694[/re]: You are the dinner party whisperer.

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