OHIO STATE WILL BE FURIOUS!  11:22 am February 12, 2010

by Jim Newell

You know, like, uh, college!OBAMA WILL INDOCTRINATE YOUTHS AT THESE COLLEGES: Alan Keyes, put those bloody fetus toys back in the stroller — we’re going to the U of Michigan! And “Hampton”! These are the two lucky colleges that will host Barack Obama as commencement speaker this year. Unfortunately, neither of them are papist or god-y, so there won’t be any “Notre Dame fireworks.” At least not at Michigan. Who knows what this Hampton thing is? Muslin, probably. [AP]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


SayItWithWookies February 12, 2010 at 11:29 am

Al-Hampton is one of those traditionally Muslin colleges. And the oppression of Jesus continues.

thejesusandmarycheney February 12, 2010 at 11:30 am

Hampton is actually Sikh-Montessori.

V572625694 February 12, 2010 at 11:34 am

Hampton U is an historically black college in Hampton VA, near Norfolk. Very leet in the old days, one is told.

Doglessliberal February 12, 2010 at 11:34 am

ahh, Hampton is here in Ole Virginny and a historically Negro school, so you know… clearly muslin.

Doglessliberal February 12, 2010 at 11:36 am

[re=512025]V572625694[/re]: Norfolk, pron. “no-fuck”. Seriously, in the local accent. Like Fauquier County, which is “fuck-eer”. A lot of repressed Virginians letting it out in these sneaky ways.

DickTaterPeeNoShay February 12, 2010 at 11:36 am

Hampton University founded 1868, named for Lionel Hampton(b. 1908), jazz great, Catholic then Jew then Christian Scientist. Probably this is true, maybe.

Jim Newell February 12, 2010 at 11:37 am

[re=512025]V572625694[/re]: [re=512026]Doglessliberal[/re]: Uh oh. Well now I am a racist.

Barcode of the Apocalypse February 12, 2010 at 11:46 am

[re=512030]Jim Newell[/re]: Jim, today we are all Racists.
(Tomorrow, too, and so forth.)

thejesusandmarycheney February 12, 2010 at 11:47 am

[re=512027]Doglessliberal[/re]: The first time I drove through Fauquier County I could not stop giggling.

“Hee hee! Fauquier County! And the horse it rode in on!”

eekahil February 12, 2010 at 11:48 am

“Hampton” is Cockney Rhyming Slang.

“Hampton” is short for “Hampton Wick” (a London Suburb)

Which means “prick” or “dick”.

Short ex: Why don’t you just suck my Hampton, you Berk!
Long ex : Why don’t you just suck my Hampton Wick, you Berkshire Hunt!

JMP February 12, 2010 at 11:48 am

[re=512030]Jim Newell[/re]: Don’t worry; the only historically black college I can ever remember is Hillman. Shat, I’m a racist too.

Doglessliberal February 12, 2010 at 11:49 am

[re=512030]Jim Newell[/re]: nah, just a moran who doesn’t know how to use Teh Googlez. It’s OK. We still love you.

Escape Goat Nation February 12, 2010 at 11:51 am

For any of you youngsters out there, a University is only as good as it’s Football Team. Take my advice when you are ready to consider an institute of higher learning.

Doglessliberal February 12, 2010 at 11:51 am

[re=512048]thejesusandmarycheney[/re]: gotta love this Commonwealth. Well, actually you don’t for a lot of reasons. But for now, I live here. (and I am in Commie Pinko Alexandria, anyway).

Doglessliberal February 12, 2010 at 11:52 am

[re=512050]JMP[/re]: that’s actually pretty good since everyone usually names Morehouse or Howard.

Toomush Infermashun February 12, 2010 at 11:54 am

This would be a good place for Obama to announce the social service draft…like Kennedy with the Peace Corps unveiling at the U of M…. Just sayin’….nobody got no jobs anyheinie….

V572625694 February 12, 2010 at 11:56 am

[re=512030]Jim Newell[/re]: [re=512045]Barcode of the Apocalypse[/re]: I know I’m a racist for saying it, but driving around the Hampton U campus one sees many awesomely beautilicious mocha-skinned girls, like unto the one who’s on MSNBC in the AM.

JMP February 12, 2010 at 12:03 pm

[re=512064]Doglessliberal[/re]: Yeah, but those actually existed; it’s not that good to remember TV more than history.

Doglessliberal February 12, 2010 at 12:10 pm

[re=512095]JMP[/re]: In today’s world, reality is what we say it is, at least if we are Republican politicians or Fox news people, so you are right with the trend.

SwanSwanH February 12, 2010 at 12:13 pm

[re=512062]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Then Barry should be going to Grambling instead.

(Oh, and Fuck Michigan. Sorry, but it needs to be said.)

sanantonerose February 12, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Obama says community colleges are our most vital higher education resource, but he never calls. Can’t even be bothered to send flowers.

bitchincamaro February 12, 2010 at 12:25 pm

[re=512120]SwanSwanH[/re]: “Fuck Michigan”. The school, the state, the football team, or the whole shebang? Please clarify.

Escape Goat Nation February 12, 2010 at 12:38 pm

I went to Central South South Western Michigan State at East Leroy and a President has never spoken there.

Zadig February 12, 2010 at 12:51 pm

[re=512079]V572625694[/re]: This sort of thing is my jam.

Darkness February 12, 2010 at 12:51 pm

Oh, this will be fun. The arm raising Hail Hail (heil heil?) thing will be a good test for him. I was there for Hillary’s wtf moment over that. She did join in on the second round.

McDuff February 12, 2010 at 1:45 pm

“Ohio State Will Be Furious!”

Yes, THEE Ohio State University will be furious, especially considering that the Cesspool of the West had a losing season this year. What’d gotta do to get the President’s attention around here anyway? Maybe OSU should drop kick the job bills back into committee, chop block a hundred nominees, or throw Rahm for a loss for saying “retard” in a private meeting.

pondscum February 12, 2010 at 3:47 pm

[re=512120]SwanSwanH[/re]: OSU grad?

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: