It's Like Attention-Starved Iran Doesn't Even Understand At ALL How Much It Snowed Here
Germany and France will help out Greece so it does not have to default on its debt, which it is apparently on the verge of doing (?). [ New York Times ]
According to the impartial observer Iran, Iran has successfully enriched uranium. [ Washington Post ]
It is also the anniversary of Iran's 1979 revolution, and there just protesters everywhere, whose presence historically signals a protest. [ Times Online ]
The government estimates that 95,000 new jobs will be born this month! They will all be called "Kayla" or "Aidan." [ Wall Street Journal ]
The entire world will finally stop having such terrible weather, as seasonally appropriate snowfall will cease in the mid-Atlantic United States today. [ CNN ]
The Democrats are still going to hold that boring jobs summit, despite it being a snow day and that being not only 110% lame but also unfair and illegal. [ The Hill ]