it's the american people who will win

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Mo' moneyOMG OMG OMG OMG OMG: It’s that once-in-a-decade reason to visit Arkansas! “Tomorrow night, [Harold Ford Jr.]’s due to square off against Republican National Committee chairman Michael Steele at the University of Arkansas in Little Rock – a political death match entitled, ‘Left, Right, and Forward: On the Future of America.'” YouTube: you’ve got a lot of pressure for this one. Also, each of them is being paid tens of thousands of dollars to appear. [NYDN]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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  • EdFlinstone

    So Harold is representing the left? What was Hannity unavailable.

  • Snarkalicious

    It’s Tom and Tom! The Brothers brothers!

  • Jukesgrrl

    C-SPAN, pleeeeze! Our freedumb depends on this.

  • bfstevie

    If they did a nightclub act together where they sawed people in half and made stuff disappear it could be a reality TV show called “Here Come the Magic Negroes”. NBC would give them a 13 show deal.

  • Minnie Mean

    Who will represent the “Forward” in this disgusting display?

  • JadedDIssonance

    Let’s forget about the fact that they’re both black “republicans” for a moment. It’s still not a “political death match” when you agree on everything.

  • Tommmcatt

    So who are they getting to speak for “left” and “forward”?

  • SayItWithWookies

    “As prominent leaders representing both sides of the political spectrum, Harold Ford Jr. and Michael Steele will engage the audience in the most hot-button issues that will shape our nation’s future,” Dr. Jan Austin, director of UALR’s Office of Campus Life, said in a statement.

    Right — representing the red end of the spectrum, Red. And representing the violet end of the spectrum, Orange.

  • JMP

    Why does this remind me of Spike Lee’s “Bamboozled”?

  • drpangloss

    No no no Harold is going to be standing to Steeles left and both are going to be facing coward.

  • BeWoot

    Did Harold Ford win American Idol or something? Jesus, suddenly he’s everywhere.

    A little more than half of Arkansas, by the way, is quite beautiful, very scenic. On the other hand, it’s also the state where I saw a business named — and I’m not making this up — Pud’s Beauty Salon.

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=507132]Tommmcatt[/re]: Alan Keyes.

  • avatard

    [re=507141]BeWoot[/re]: Good one, but Arkansas doesn’t have a monopoly on hick business names. In Minnesota I once saw a gas station called ‘Pump ‘N Munch’.

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=507142]Snarkalicious[/re]: Clarence Thomas will be moderating, I believe.

  • bitchincamaro

    Will Ford take Steele’s bait and slip into a “black dialect”? Be there!

  • Crank Tango

    Thank god Ford will be able to make a little cash at least.

  • LittlePig

    That’s less than two miles from my house…but still farther than I’d care to go to see that train wreck.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=507148]avatard[/re]: That is awesome on many levels.

  • Allyson

    Left will be represented by the audience, as in it will be interesting to see if anyone is left by the end of this program.
    Forward will be represented by the audience, who will head in that direction for the exits once they realize just how boring this gathering will be.

  • Jim Newell

    [re=507163]Crank Tango[/re]: Yeah, hopefully he’ll be able to get a few loaves of bread, some clean water.

  • Extemporanus

    “Tard, meet Retard. Retard, this is Tard.

    Now, let’s review the rules, er, rule: Whichever one of you finishes your paste first will be declared the winner of this stupid fucking debate. Simple as that, okay?

    Any questions? Retard? How ’bout you, Tard? No? Alright then, let’s do this!

    On your mark…get set…annnd we appear to have ourselves a tie!”

  • Judas Peckerwood

    “Right, Right, and Right: Why We Are So Fucked”

  • Extemporanus

    [re=507142]Snarkalicious[/re]: [re=507132]Tommmcatt[/re]: Actually, Alan Keyes will be speaking for “left” and “behind”.

  • Tommmcatt


    For the win.

    Alan Keyes is automatically hilarious, though, so it may not have been a fair competition.

  • S.Luggo

    1. UA at Little Rock focuses on eductating foreigners and women.
    And fatties:

    2. Its colors are Maroon and Black. Palin has filed a protest.

    And Pimpy O’Keefe, also.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    Let’s hope for Dick Swett.

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    It’s going to get awkward when Julia Allison shows up with her new boyfriend, Bears QB Jay Cutler.

    (Would love this to happen. A third evidence of the falsity of the “once thou goest black, thou does not goeth back”. Barack’s mom (Indonesian AFTER black), Katy Perry (Russell Brand AFTER the mulatto singer from Gym Class Heroes),… Julia Allison? Yes, please.)

  • Oldskool

    “Left, Right, and Forward” sounds like an ROTC drill team. Might be worth catching.

  • memzilla

    The Spittle Hock in Little Rock!
    Michael “Da Loogie” Steele vs. Harold “Mucusboy” Ford!
    Expect congestion in the area.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Yeah, but which one will be most offended when the first Arkie calls him ‘boy’ & asks him to shine his shoes?

  • guey de gueyes

    [re=507227]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: And Texas is the capital of the progressive union, huh?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=507235]guey de gueyes[/re]: Ever been to Austin? I think not.

  • Advocatus_Diaboli

    Uncle Tom vs Aunt Tom

  • Studebaker Hoch

    Which one is Amos , and which one is Andy ? And when does the minstrel show start?

  • GreyPanter

    [re=507235]guey de gueyes[/re]: In the 2008 presidential election, Obama had a bigger win percentage-wise in Austin than he did in New Jersey; and Dallas and Houston went for Obama.

  • Potater

    Oh, awesome, they brought the Gumbles back!

  • magic titty

    [re=507197]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Here here!

  • zhubajie

    How much will they pay me to stay away?

  • zhubajie

    So how much would they pay for me to stay away?

  • hunter.blatherer

    [re=507142]Snarkalicious[/re]: I heard that Alan Keyes will file a formal protest with the RNC and get in there somehow.

  • rocktonsammy

    Mothers, lock up your daughters!!

  • Minnie Mean

    [re=507148]avatard[/re]: YAY! I have been to the Pump N Munch!

  • glamourdammerung

    Every points for the first one to shine about loving shortening bread.

  • thesheriffisnear

    Keeping with a Black History Month theme: Its like WEB DuBois and Booker T. Washington all over again. Of course Steele makes Booker T. look like Nat Turner*. Oh Yeah, I know Ford is not nearly as distinguished as Dubois but, like Dubois, he is very light skinned-ed.


  • new complexnegro

    Two Negro opportunists square off! Uncle tom would be proud!

  • cheaphits

    “Pud’s Beauty Salon” and “Pump N’ Munch” are good, but meh fav malaprop is in Washington D.C. – it’s called “The House of Representives” – I hear it’s actually a front for a bunch of corrupt banks, insurance scams and multinationals..if I remember right Mr. Ford worked there a while back.

  • el donaldo

    What, a Smothers Brothers reunion? Now which one has the mustache?

  • anonymousryan

    Is this some kind of really lame rap battle?

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    It will be just like the Lincoln-Douglas debates. Except not insightful, interesting or informed.

  • PlanetWingnuta

    This so isn’t gonna be a reunion of Richard Roundtree and Moses Gunn is it?

  • vladster

    I knew Steele was a minstral.

  • bamaboy

    [re=507141]BeWoot[/re]: My favorite is Louisiana bait stand called “Minnow Pause”.