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class=OH HO HO! “The Special Olympics is disputing the White House claim that its chairman, Tim Shriver, accepted Rahm Emanuel’s apology for calling liberals ‘retarded.’ … ‘Tim can’t do that. He can’t accept an apology on behalf of all people with disabilities.'” Rahm, in response, SWEARS TO FUCKING SHIT that he is THIS FUCKING CLOSE. He is THIS FUCKING CLOSE to KILLING EVERYONE. [Ben Smith]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Comments

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  • Brendan M.

    Yeah, fire the fucking retarded 9 1/2-fingered son of a bitch.

  • WadISay

    Rahm should promise that, in the future, he will start calling his enemies fucking spaztics instead.

  • Gopherit

    Tim’s gonna find the head of a handi-dog in his bed. Don’t fuck with Rahm, Master-o-Retards.

  • hedgehog

    Rahm: I work with retards.

    Shriver: Isn’t that a little politically incorrect?

    Rahm: Yeah, maybe, but hell, no one’s gonna tell me who I can and can’t work with. I love the goofy bastards. We got this one staffer, Mongo… He’s got a forehead like a drive-in movie theatre, but he’s a good ship. So we don’t bust his chops too much. So, one day Mongo gets out of his cage…

    Shriver: They keep him in a cage?

    Rahm: Well, it’s just an enclosure…

    Shriver: No, but they keep him confined?

    Rahm: Right, yeah.

    Shriver: That’s bullshit!

    Rahm: Well, that’s what I said! So, I went out and I got him, uh, I got him a leash.

    Shriver: A leash?

    Rahm: Yeah, one of those ones you can hook on the clothesline, and he can run back and forth and, uh, there’s plenty of room for him to dig and play. That kid is really, uh, he’s really blossomed.

  • Extemporanus

    Being retarded means never having to say you’re sorry.

  • Crank Tango

    is libtard offensive to anyone? I mean he should have just said libtard instead of pissing off that fucking cuntwhore bitch sarah palin six months later.

    Although speaking of the snowbilly grifter, it appears that in a private conversation she said something like “so the nigger beat the bitch” –but that’s cool, right? Nevar forgit triggz! For the troops!

  • Buzz Feedback

    Lil’ Trig will accept Rahm’s apology.

  • Hooray For Anything

    I’ve used the word “retarded” as a way to describe things lots of times. Like, as in this story is retarded.

    Do I have to go around and apologize to every retard I see in the streets now?

  • chaste everywhere

    Tim Shriver “can’t accept an apology on behalf of all people with disabilities”?! What in blazes DOES his job consist of, then?

    Is it true the Special Olympics choir will troop into the WH singing “O come, o come, Emmanuel”?

  • Jim Newell

    [re=506951]Hooray For Anything[/re]: “Do I have to go around and apologize to every retard I see in the streets now?”

    YOU FUCKING BETTER MOTHERFUCKER.

    (Sorry, I’m having too much fun! It’s a great way to avoid making all the other posts so angry.)

  • Larry Fine

    I hope he doesn’t get in more trouble by calling Marie Shriver, Marietard Shriver.

  • Prommie

    Fucking touchy retards.

  • Prommie

    Do the retards primp their vadges?

  • Holy Cow!!

    Calling to apologize to the Special Olympics is retarded.

  • Tommmcatt

    …And the wheels of government pause in their constant roiling, as this terrible incident transforms the very fabric of our society. Will there ever be resolve?

    Oh, the humanity!

  • Gopherit

    They won’t take his apology? Buncha churlish fucking retards, aren’t they?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Ben Smith, that scion of mongoloid journalism, won’t rest until Rahm personally apologizes to him. And I can’t wait for this idiotic piece of imbecilic news detritus to go on its feebleminded way.

  • Scruffy_The_Janitor

    Everybody knows you never go full retard.
    He should have just apologized to Palin and her husband.

  • Gopherit

    [re=506972]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: “I’m sorry your fetid, stinking cesspool of a womb gave you a retard?”

  • ddenby

    Luckily Sarah Palin will never to go Marxist Boston where pretty much everything is called “retarded” and she would take offense and such.

  • Come here a minute

    [re=506957]Jim Newell[/re] is a Rahmtard.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    I had mongolian beef for lunch. I apologize to all the retards who were offended.

  • Minnie Mean

    I went to http://www.r-word.org/ to see what Rahm is going to have to do. Find out what the r-word is before you go there because the website is so NOT going to tell! The best part is the pledges:

    “I pledge to erase this disrespectful word from my language no matter in what context it’s used. It is offensive to use racial slurs, and as a gay male, to hear the F word. They are messangers from God, let’s hear them, not belittle them.”

    So, does this mean the the “special little angels” are a different race?! And what’s this F-word that is so hurtful to a gay male? “Female”? “Fatty”? “Flacid”? And wait, what?! Are the messangers(sp)from god gay males? So confused… I must be retarded.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=506962]Prommie[/re]: Yes.

    Of course, they do so using safety scissors, construction paper, Elmer’s glue, glitter, and the like, but at least they’re having fun, right? And sometimes, they actually do a pretty decent job.

    In fact, I’ve got one particularly well-primped vadgetard hanging on my fridge right now!

  • EcceNerdo

    Honestly, what are they going to do? Pass his apology to the membership and have a vote? I’m sure they can come to the unanimous decision of “I LIKE CHEESEBURGERS!!!”

  • Scruffy_The_Janitor

    [re=506974]Gopherit[/re]: Yes. as long as you say it with a smile and twinkle in your eye.

  • glamourdammerung

    And somehow this is a bigger issue than the GOP embracing a bunch of assholes with racist signs. Though in fairness, most of them spell the racial slurs (and just about every other word) wrong.

  • magic titty

    Apologizing to the Special Olympics for not insulting them is retarded.

    Team CoCo Rahm

  • Snarkalicious

    How can you not claim to accept an apology on the behalf of millions, but you can assume their outrage as though it were your own to command? Your logic, sir, is obviously retarded.

  • thesheriffisnear

    I’ve had it with these muthafuckin’ liberals in this muthafuckin blogosphere!!!

    [re=506948]Crank Tango[/re]: I sized Sarah up early on and kinda figured she liberally threw around the “N word.” Clearly she’s not comfortable around us coloreds.

  • Voyou Charmant

    Well. Maybe if all these Trig Palins weren’t so fucking sensitive we could all get past this.

  • Sharkey

    Another thread on the trainables? I’m going to be tardy to my meeting.

  • Voyou Charmant

    [re=506979]Minnie Mean[/re]: That site is retarded.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=506978]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: And Rahm has a beef with Mongolians!

    [re=506971]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Isn’t it moronic? Don’t ya think?

    [re=506981]EcceNerdo[/re]: “YOU’VEGOTMAIL!!YOU’VEGOTMAIL!!YOU’VEGOTMAIL!!YOU’VEGOTMAIL!!YAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

  • Prommie

    [re=506978]RoscoePColtraine[/re](snark off) I mentioned a “mongolian cluster fuck” on an email group populated with lawyers, and was remonstrated for lack of sensitivity. (snark back on, sorta) I have decided that it is not true that we should kill all the lawyers first thing. But we should kill at least half, I think reducing the lawyer population by half would produce significant improvement in quality of life overall. Lawyers can be such fucking retards.

  • Katydid

    Emanuel also promised to “examine” Congressional legislation that would remove the word from federal law.

    What in the motherfucking fuck does that even fucking mean? I am aware of all Congressional legislation, but I am not aware of any federal laws that refer to “retards.” Except, of course, the one that sez we can legally killz ’em in Texas.

  • Prommie

    [re=506985]glamourdammerung[/re]: That embracing of the racist assholes, that is exactly why this is a big issues, those people are all fucking retards, that is why the GOP is now so sensitive to people offending fucking retards.

  • Prommie

    [re=507004]Katydid[/re]: Here in my state, we recently passed legislation which removed the word “lunatic” in every instance where it was used in our statutes. Its seems the fucking lunatics were insanely offended by it being there.

  • hedgehog

    Time for damage control: Rahm should promise to donate a short bus to every school in D.C.

  • Aurelio

    [re=506948]Crank Tango[/re]: “so the nigger beat the bitch”. Minor correction. What she actually said was, “So Sambo beat the bitch!”. Anyway, that’s what those commie pinko retards at the LA Progressive say.

  • ShiningMathPath

    When my (heavily-accented) uncle from Baltimore turned 65, he went to the Social Security office. They asked him what category he was in. He told them “retard”, and you can imagine what happened next.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=506941]hedgehog[/re]: Sort of reminded me of the naked retarded boy in Blood Meridian who’s brother keeps in a cage and charges the rubes to look at. But that retard gets rescued by the church ladies who dress him up and then he almost drowns but the Judge rescues him and takes him for a pet. Interesting book about scalp hunters, mostly in Mexico.

  • Crank Tango

    [re=507015]Aurelio[/re]: Oh my bad. I guess I was confusing that with her reference to eskimos/inuits as snow-N’s or something like that.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    Should everyone who’s ever suffered a case of crabs take offense when people use the hateful term “nit pickers?”

  • MOG

    I’m starting to like Rahm a little. Just a little. Mongolian vs. Mongoloid – talk amongst yourselves. Also.

  • Aurelio

    [re=507010]Prommie[/re]: …the fucking lunatics were insanely offended…. How do you tell if a fucking lunatic is offended? Does he stop fucking and glower at you?

  • Oldskool

    [re=506972]Scruffy_The_Janitor[/re]: “Full retard”, best two-word combo evah!

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=507019]Ducksworthy[/re]: Feces covered, I forgot to mention feces.

  • whiskey tango foxtrot

    Can we call this one retard-gate?

  • Prommie

    [re=507021]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I for one am deeply offended. You must have no idea what it is like to have to comb the eggs off of your eyelashes, you insensitive fucking retard.

  • thesheriffisnear

    [re=506975]ddenby[/re]: Actually its retaaahded. But you knew that.

  • Escape Goat Nation

    Insensitive? Maybe
    Overblown. Yes.

    I’m really getting sick of Palin using her family as human shields against any criticism of herself at the same time she’s sniping at people while hiding behind them.

  • Jukesgrrl

    I’d be much more willing to be on Team Rahm if he weren’t such a fucking DLC retard.

    OT to: [re=507016]ShiningMathPath[/re]: That’s hilarious. Reminds me of the time a DC Transit driver asked me if I was going to “Merlin.” When I exited in Bethesda, he growled, “You said you weren’t going to Merlin.” I shot back, “I’ve never even heard of Merlin!” Later my roommates explained to me that not only was all of Balmer in Merlin, but I was, too.

  • hedgehog

    [re=507019]Ducksworthy[/re]: I liked it. Cormac gives good apocalypse.

  • TGY

    Damn special liberals.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=507036]Prommie[/re]: But I sympathize, Prommie. We throw the word out there so carelessly, as if nit picking were something other than ABSOULUTELY FUCKING NECESSARY. I’m sorry I hurt you.

  • Prommie

    [re=507062]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: And the eyebrows, Roscoe, can you imagine it, your eyebrows, infested with tiny, repellant crustaceans, the glowing shame, the fear that one will walk brazenly accross your forehead, just as you are accepting communion, leading the priest to denounce your shame before the whole congregation, can you really sympathize, if you’ve never been there?

  • jetjaguar

    oh what tangled, stupid webs we weave…

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=507084]Prommie[/re]: You wanna nit pick?

  • Extemporanus

    [re=507036]Prommie[/re]: [re=507062]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Hey, you can’t make a fucking Rahmlette without combing a few fucking eggs, right retards?

  • ShiningMathPath

    [re=507047]Jukesgrrl[/re]: ahh yes — today we are all in Merlin

  • ladymacbeth

    well i for one think this is the best cage match since the MA miracle sent the dems and health care and cap und trade and regulatory reform running for the hills of neverneverland in EL Dorado-ville.

    this is just like ‘titus’ only with a finger instead of a hand and nobody’s forced snowbilly to eat her young.

  • RoscoePColtraine

    [re=507100]Extemporanus[/re]: I can haz my Rahmlette with dick swett filling?

  • Sparky McGruff

    [re=506981]EcceNerdo[/re]: Who doesn’t like cheeseburgers? Are you saying RAHM DOESN’T LIKE CHEESEBURGERS? FUCKING SON OF A BITCH CHEESEBURGER HATER! I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU AND YOUR FUCKING DOG IF YOU SAY YOU DON’T LIKE CHEESEBURGERS!

  • engulfedinflames

    [re=506979]Minnie Mean[/re]:I’m sick of this messagers (sic) from god shit. What’s the message? Oh, I get it …sorry.

  • torera

    Good. GO FOR IT, RAHM!

  • Jim89048

    The lunatics are in the Hall(s) of Congress…

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    Who would think the Brothers Farrelly & Johnny Knoxville would be more sensitive to the developmentally-challenged than would be a former member of the U.S. House & current WH Chief of Staff?

    I say sentence Rahm to getting a Matchbox car shoved up his ass. & being Jewish, that will hurt more than any of us can go. (Except for HomoPolitico. S/he’s prolly stuck way larger things up the bung.)

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    Also, know, not go.

  • desertwind

    Huh?

    If the Special Olympics think they’re gonna get more donations from Sarah Palin than from the Shriver/Kennedy clan they’re retarded.

  • proudgrampa

    WTF???

    What is wrong with these fucking people???

  • MzNicky

    Fucking retards.

  • the problem child

    [re=507137]Sparky McGruff[/re]: Like, probably. But def. not kosher.

  • rocktonsammy

    Ben Smith’s big head makes him look like a retard and fucking retarded.

  • BeWoot

    The great thing about this controversy–everybody is a winner.

  • bozofish

    Stoopid non-speak quotes, like “no one can accept an apology on behalf of all people with disabilities” are totally retarded.

  • timemaker

    Retard – a person who is stupid, obtuse, or ineffective in some way: a hopeless social retard.

    Maybe Rahm should promise to examine changing the definition according to Webster’s.

  • Carrie_Okie

    Will Sarah Palin call on Rush Limbaugh to apologize for saying liberal activists are libtardz?
    http://thinkprogress.org/2010/02/03/limbaugh-palin-apologize/

    Does this make baby Trig liberal? I’m so confused.