HARD TIMES  10:55 am January 29, 2010

by Jim Newell

Fuck youHAROLD FORD, JUST STRUGGLIN’ TO PAY THOSE WATER BILLS: “Now I’ve taken a 45-day unpaid leave of absence from my job at Merrill Lynch. It’s not right to draw a salary when I’m out every day campaigning. Fortunately, I’ve still got a little NYU teaching job and some MSNBC, so for a while I think I can put food on the table.” Are you sure you don’t need a few bucks? Don’t hesitate to ask. [NY Post]


Hola wonkerados.

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Red Zeppelin January 29, 2010 at 11:01 am

There’s always the gigolo gig to fall back on. I hear he likes teh white wimmins.

ManchuCandidate January 29, 2010 at 11:06 am

He could always make a few bucks as a Derek Jeter look-a-like.

Jim Demintia January 29, 2010 at 11:06 am

This guy really just could not be a bigger asshole. If I lived in NY, I would vote for Rick Lazio before I would vote for him.

Holy Cow!! January 29, 2010 at 11:07 am

Poor bankers are barely making it these days.

Face it, this guy has mastered the art of the con.

Brendan M. January 29, 2010 at 11:08 am

Okay, I had an elaborate and mildly-humourous Chris Matthews reference in response to this, but I’m going to just call Harold Ford a douchebag instead. I’m tired and need another cup of mate before I can do better.

JMP January 29, 2010 at 11:08 am

But he still hasn’t left the job, just taken a leave of absence; even Ford himself doesn’t seem to think much of his chances. It should help him a bit, though, because everyone loves the big financial firms like Lynch these days.

Gregoire January 29, 2010 at 11:10 am

Ambition is better served when you stop wearing it on your forehead.

sezme January 29, 2010 at 11:11 am

I’d be willing to donate a shit sandwich.

rafflesinc January 29, 2010 at 11:11 am

After I read the title of his book again, it sounds really really dirty.

Manos: Hands of Fate January 29, 2010 at 11:13 am

Text 2774653 to DOUCHEBAG To Contribute to the Harold Ford “Keep Food on the Table Fund”

proudgrampa January 29, 2010 at 11:15 am

[re=504131]rafflesinc[/re]: EWWWWWWWWWW!

house of the blue lights January 29, 2010 at 11:15 am

Confused by poster. Is he David or Goliath? Does he understand the story? If he’s David, shouldn’t we be looking down at him? Maybe with a menacing shadow looming.

doxastic January 29, 2010 at 11:17 am

He experiences the struggles of the wealthy, the middle class, and the poor simultaneously. He can make racism go away, just by ignoring it. He once took a helicopter to Staten Island just to say he’d been there. He panders to your opinion even before you know what it is. Every time a sports team wins, he is in the owners box.

He is…the most vulgar man in the world.

forgracie January 29, 2010 at 11:18 am

Reverse carpetbagger?

Crank Tango January 29, 2010 at 11:19 am

I thought politicians were supposed to hide how much of an asshole they are?

Way Cool Larry January 29, 2010 at 11:19 am

[re=504131]rafflesinc[/re]: he’s just looking for one good, well-hung man

S.Luggo January 29, 2010 at 11:25 am

[re=504140]Crank Tango[/re]: They may be able to hide some things, but assholery is not one. Ask Scott Brown,

coolcatdaddy January 29, 2010 at 11:30 am

Just think – if it weren’t for that NYU gig and a spot on MSNBC, he’d be getting food stamps.

My heart just bleeds. Drip…drip….

JadedDIssonance January 29, 2010 at 11:31 am

They have to shut those people up who have a megaphone or microphone. They must shut them down. This is why I’m begging you: Please, please — I’ve said this now for how many years? From the bottom of my heart, I say this to you. Please, there may come a time when there are no people speaking out in the media. There may come that time. That’s why you must do you homework now. You cannot waste another minute. Doing your homework, knowing history, knowing the news, following — knowing what the Constitution says. There may be a time when you are the leader .You’re the only voice that people will hear. Please, I beg of you, I beg of you: Pick the torch up, because there may come a time where you are the keeper of the flame, and if you do not pick up that flame when it is handed to you, if you don’t pick that torch up, it will go out.

BigDupa January 29, 2010 at 11:35 am

Mocha- the new black!

assistant/atlas January 29, 2010 at 11:36 am

So…Kirsten Gillibrand is sponsoring his campaign, right? Because wow, how awesome does she look compared to him?

[re=504137]doxastic[/re]: Well done.

assistant/atlas January 29, 2010 at 11:38 am

[re=504135]house of the blue lights[/re]: Wait, you’re right, so….Harold Ford wants us to slingshot rocks at him?

Rosie Scenario January 29, 2010 at 11:39 am

Psssst, Harold. Don’t call me.

artpepper January 29, 2010 at 11:43 am

This should win him some pity points from, say, Peggy Noonan.

JMP January 29, 2010 at 11:44 am

[re=504135]house of the blue lights[/re]: He’s just noting that there’s more normal-sized guys in the world than giants. Which is true, but obvious at not particularly noteworthy.

[re=504149]JadedDIssonance[/re]: Starting the drinking early today?

One Yield Regular January 29, 2010 at 11:45 am

[re=504135]house of the blue lights[/re]: Maybe he WANTS us to be slinging rocks at him? Anyway, graphic design FAIL (unless…the book cover designer is…a New Yorker??…)

JadedDIssonance January 29, 2010 at 11:48 am

[re=504164]JMP[/re]: word for word, it’s what Beck said after the SOTU. Made me want to start drinking.

Mr Blifil January 29, 2010 at 11:49 am

He could always log as his Na’avi avatar. There’s plenty of food and fucking on that planet. Need a fairly good 3G connection, but that’s no more than a couple hundred bucks a month, plus it covers his Blackberry, which he should definitely NOT consider serving to his family as a type of foodstuff.

queeraselvis v 2.0 January 29, 2010 at 11:50 am

Hmm. Harold’s male prostitutes must’ve finally quit taking his IOUs.

Tlmsd January 29, 2010 at 11:55 am

I “think” I can put some food on the table? Good gubmint cheese is free!

Koolaid January 29, 2010 at 12:06 pm

[re=504125]Brendan M.[/re]: what like, Ford sounded like such an oblivious and entitled rich-kid douche in that quote that I forgot he was black for 30 seconds, while my brain-exploded.

lawrenceofthedesert January 29, 2010 at 12:07 pm

With more Davids than Goliaths (a true fact; I know lots of Davids, but…), there was time for one of them to snap Harold’s photo — a cameraman from “Little People,” perhaps?

teebob2000 January 29, 2010 at 12:09 pm

Got one word for you, poor black HFJ: hobo beans.

GayInMaine January 29, 2010 at 12:09 pm

I worked in Democratic politics for years, so have seen my share of tone deaf candidates. But this here is a brand new form of it. Evolution!

Extemporanus January 29, 2010 at 12:12 pm

More Abes than Benjamins is a heartbreaking work of staggering arrogance.

TubeCity January 29, 2010 at 12:15 pm

Oh, man, what will happen to Merrill Lynch in the next 45 days if he’s not there to do whatever he does for a million dollars a year? Isn’t he, like, Vice-Chairman or something? Who will be thinking about Merrill Lynch’s strategic whatsis or whatever?

Army of None January 29, 2010 at 12:20 pm

In a way, he’s as smarmy as Schumer. The two of them would be like a whimsical painted porcelain pair of salt and pepper shakers in a vintage collectable store, in the Senate.

Tommmcatt January 29, 2010 at 12:21 pm

Yeah, Harold, I have something for you to get to work on RIGHT HERE….

StrangelyBrown January 29, 2010 at 12:24 pm

How can the title of that book mean anything other than “I prefer a small dick in my ass”?

Brendan M. January 29, 2010 at 12:30 pm

[re=504181]Koolaid[/re]: Sort of, but with more despair. Actually, the terrible despair is what caused me to scrap the “joke” part of the comment. It just grows and grows, and the utilities bill joke in this post just…I’ve got to go.

Come here a minute January 29, 2010 at 12:30 pm

This guy should be FIRED from Merrill for taking a leave of absence because he’s not working. It is unconscionable to have a conscience at Merrill Lynch.

An Outhouse January 29, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Google street view of “Union Square Flatiron District”, his apartment, reveals a nice Bank of America across the street. He probably masturbates to its image everyday to bring himself solace.

An Outhouse January 29, 2010 at 12:43 pm

[re=504165]One Yield Regular[/re]: “Maybe he WANTS us to be slinging rocks at him?”

No, Oreo cookies.

Read more at Wonkette: http://wonkette.com/413451/413451#comment-504216#ixzz0e1bIFY5W

Katydid January 29, 2010 at 12:46 pm

Speaking of Douchebags, somehow Our Wonkette missed this Very Important Story of the John Thomas Teabaggers, who are out to defend America and freedom from the bastards blaming Wall Street for the financial meltdown.
Things had gotten entirely too annoying. First it was White House (and populist) complaints about Wall Street recklessness and greed (humongous bonuses). Now it was White House desire to attach new regulations and taxes to banks. Enough!

And so a rally was organized at lunchtime on the 23rd floor of 14 Wall Street, directly across the street from the New York Stock Exchange, in the cushy offices of John Thomas Financial, a three-year-old investment house. It was much more comfortable than, say, the street.

TGY January 29, 2010 at 12:55 pm

[re=504118]Red Zeppelin[/re]: But gigoloin’ ain’t easy.

Snarkalicious January 29, 2010 at 12:57 pm

It is imperative that we immediately eliminate all cap gains taxes on HFJ for the health of our Democracy.

DirtyHarriett January 29, 2010 at 1:51 pm

But…he doesn’t want to ‘draw a salary while campaigning’ and yet, he’s doing just that with MSNBC and NYU. He’s still getting paid, right? I guess since it’s not Merrill Lynch salary, it doesn’t count, right?

Jukesgrrl January 29, 2010 at 5:08 pm

I don’t have a job either. So I guess I can move to Manhattan now?

Long Form Def Certificate January 29, 2010 at 6:49 pm

& I thought he was one of the good ones. But he’s looking for an hand-out, too.

hunter.blatherer January 29, 2010 at 7:18 pm

Ford recently praised New York as a “city of transients,” to justify his carpetbagging. He is the kind of transient from a wealthy Coneticutt suburb, with a three hour layover at Port Authority. And he’s afraid to go outside without a helicopter.

rocktonsammy January 29, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Maybe Harold could bring Bill Clinton his coffee.

That’ll pay pretty good.

marioninnyc January 29, 2010 at 10:31 pm

[re=504155]assistant/atlas[/re]: Can’t top that.

obfuscator January 30, 2010 at 12:59 am

he’s probably right. i’d guess that the name “david” is much more common than the name “goliath”.

fuck off, harold.

Egregious February 1, 2010 at 8:53 am

Just when you think this guy has uttered the ultimate douche-worthy quote, he comes up with something even doucheier…which of course means he will win the Democratic NY Senate primary, thereby ensuring that the Republicans will pick up another seat in the NE. :-(

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