OUR FLOURISHING MAGAZINE INDUSTRY  6:11 pm January 14, 2010

by Jim Newell

The stirring coverBARACK OBAMA NOW JUST ANOTHER CRAPPY NEWSWEEK WRITER: In his latest wacky P.R. move, insane Newsweek editor Jon Meacham has hired an impoverished freelancer named Barack Obama, the president of America, to write his next cover story. It will be about Haiti, and we’re guessing that Barack Obama will not have enough time in his next couple of days to research and write an entire magazine cover story by himself. Good luck, Jon Favreau! [WSJ]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 20 comments }

Way Cool Larry January 14, 2010 at 6:20 pm

Jon Meachem should be tried as a war criminal

Humpback January 14, 2010 at 6:23 pm

What?! “Girls gone wild…in Haiti”? Too soon, man. Too soon.

Snarkalicious January 14, 2010 at 6:25 pm

OK, seriously? Barry? Newsweek? If it were The Economist, perhaps I could view this as something other than masturbation. You have bigger megaphones available. Farm it out to Jimmy Carter and get the fuck back to work.

In other news, little known internet blog commenter Snarkalicious is reportedly making plans to buy a copy of that issue of Newsweek, making his previous statements on the matter, quote, ‘a little douchetastic’.

SayItWithWookies January 14, 2010 at 6:30 pm

“Great, Mr. Obama — we appreciate you doing this on such short notice. Oh, and we do have a few editorial guidelines, if you don’t mind. First, could you keep it to about 500 words? Our readers skim a lot, and we’ve got a huuuuge crying baby pic we’d like to stick on there. Also, if you could work in a celebrity quote, that would be great — preferably James Cameron or someone with a promotion tie-in. And a Super Bowl mention would be great, too — always current this time of year. And keep the vocabulary kinda light — what? ‘Infrastructure?’ Uh, maybe use something simpler — like huts. Awesome — I’ll look for it in an hour.”

V572625694 January 14, 2010 at 6:30 pm

The WaPo stench of fear-of-failure is wafting over to Newsweek. Both of them are employing unpaid, non-professional journalistical wannabe persons to fill the yawning canyons of white space between the wristwatch ads. O, Barry, you’re better than this! Did the Narrow Gauge and Short Line Gazette send you a rejection slip?

Hooray For Anything January 14, 2010 at 6:35 pm

Nicely played, Obama– you cleverly managed to “convince” Newsweek into letting you write a cover story on “Haiti” when we all know it’s just one further attempt to indoctrinate us. We all know that by writing in support of aid to “Haiti” we all know you mean giving government money to poor black people.

Sharkey January 14, 2010 at 6:42 pm

Dear Newsweek,

Please cancel my subscription immediately. I do not want anything written by a black person in my mailbox.

I said “immediately”!

Eff you, too.

Sincerely,
SharkeyInfestedWaters

proudgrampa January 14, 2010 at 6:43 pm

[re=495062]Snarkalicious[/re]: Thank you. I’m concerned that our president is spending too much time pleasing the press with shit like this. I agree: Mr President, get your ass back to work!!!

Snarkalicious January 14, 2010 at 6:53 pm

[re=495083]proudgrampa[/re]: Or down to Haiti. You want to send a message to the world? I mean, real, hardcore, game changing shit? Go spend a day to help bury the dead with your own hands and sweat.

After that, I would guess, nobody this side for Free Republic would argue with a word he says for at least 6 months.

Hooray For Anything January 14, 2010 at 6:54 pm

[re=495083]proudgrampa[/re]: You should know by now that if Obama actually “did work” instead of appearing in the media all the time to talk about Haiti, the press will go to after him, spend hours debating “Where’s Obama?” and then declare that his handling of Haiti is good news for Republicans.

So he has to do all this.

Of course, after appearing in the magazine and giving more statements about Haiti, sometime next week the press will go after him, spend hours debating “Is Obama spending too much time on Haiti?” and then declare that his handling of Haiti is good news for Republicans.

give us a bob January 14, 2010 at 7:02 pm

With this, and with B.O.’s regular contributions to the HuffPo, when does it finally come out that he actually wrote this story too?

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/black_man_given_nations

Jim89048 January 14, 2010 at 7:05 pm

I hope he can write this article without using a Negro dialect…

BlueStateLibtard January 14, 2010 at 7:20 pm

And whatever goodwill and good ideas he puts into his column about Haiti will be immediately cancelled out by some stupid shit Dubya will say when he gets there.

Jim89048 January 14, 2010 at 7:32 pm

[re=495116]BlueStateLibtard[/re]: You mean like “where all the white women at”?

thesheriffisnear January 14, 2010 at 7:36 pm

Newsweek hasn’t been relevant since Crockett and Tubbs were chasing down Uzi-packing, Columbian drug lords in Miami. EVERY WEEK.

Katydid January 14, 2010 at 8:02 pm

O/T, but this is Billo attacking Jon Stewart, because Stewart used some of Billo’s clips a few weeks ago.

http://video.foxnews.com/#/v/3967828/jon-stewarts-political-power/?playlist_id=86923

Potater January 15, 2010 at 1:08 am

“Who’s getting mixed reviews in the polls”

WSJ doesn’t even try to appear non-biased anymore, does it?

Paul Tardy January 15, 2010 at 1:34 am

Wow, this POTUS is way cleverer than the last. Staging a natural catastrophe on an island way off the coast of the US is such a smarter way to do it. Damn good choice I would say. +1 with huggs and kizzes to Obama.

plowman January 15, 2010 at 8:06 am

Send lots of copies to Haiti, they need them to improvise splints for broken limbs…

BeWoot January 15, 2010 at 9:35 am

If Obama has trouble saying no, maybe we should ask him about single-payer health care.

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