About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • TGY

    A cracked coffee mug, a good phone, and a fucking computer would be about right.

  • Vulpes82

    Well, they COULD be referencing the Trepezoidal Broom Closet; lots of Presidents made important decisions amidst the brooms and that bucket of gray water that’s always sitting around. Kennedy decided to shtup Marilyn there, you know!

  • Mr Blifil

    Great. They pimped the Oval Office.

  • Gumboz1953

    Needs more cubicles.

  • bitchincamaro

    California decorator Michael Smith worked with Obama on updating the look of the Oval Office. Everything was ordered to be painted beige, you know, to match the mediocrity found in his fervor for just about everything that matters. Don’t hate me.

  • freakishlystrong

    I cannot abide the Huffpo any more. OT; did anyone else have their morning ruined by that fat fuck Erick Erickson on stupid Doucheborough? It was a “conservative” circle jerk.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    What? No black velvet Elvis paintings? No walls bedecked with yards of kente cloth? DESIGN FAIL.

  • proudgrampa

    [re=489033]Gumboz1953[/re]: Is there such a thing as an Oval Cubicle?

  • Gumboz1953

    [re=489045]proudgrampa[/re]: DARPA’s probably working on it now.

  • snideinplainsight

    Where are all the dogs going to play poker now?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=489031]Vulpes82[/re]: Well, they COULD be referencing the Trepezoidal Broom Closet; lots of Presidents made important decisions amidst the brooms and that bucket of gray water that’s always sitting around. Kennedy decided to shtup Marilyn there,

    Technically, the decision for schtupping was made in the Lincoln bedroom, which Jack & Marilyn unfortunately found occupied by a couple of his brats playing hide-n-seek at the appointed hour, so the actual schtupping was quickly relocated to the trapezoidal broom closet.

    -an Historian

  • hedgehog

    “… and there’s the spot where Rahm Emanuel once skullfucked a reluctant legislator.”

  • gurukalehuru

    [re=489036]freakishlystrong[/re]: Huffpo obsesses over meaningless details so we don’t have to.

  • Cape Clod


    Come on. Think of all the history that has been made in the Millard Filmore linen pantry.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I certainly hope they removed the speaker behind the desk that Cheney used to project the voice of The LORD into Dubya’s childlike brain between John Wayne fantasies.

  • betterDeadThanRed

    Why put that much work into personalizing an office for a temp. job?

  • Berkeley Bear

    [re=489067]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That was actually implanted by Rove in Bush’s brain stem (couldn’t find a cerebrum or cerebellum to work with). He planned on “finding” it like that bug he planted in his own offices years ago to accuse Gore of making W sound stupid, but Cheney got hold of the transmitter first – and the rest is history.

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=489084]betterDeadThanRed[/re]: Contract, actually. Temp. jobs, these days, only last 364 days regardless of performance or liberal application of buttsecks. So sayeth the guy on his 4th day 352 in a row.

    Anybody got about 9 feet of rope?

  • donner_froh

    “The marble mantle over the fireplace arrived when William Howard Taft expanded the president’s office and first shaped it into an oval in 1909.”

    Expanded it and knocked off the corners–and probably widened the doors. Taft was a big fat guy for the ages.

  • ServiceJervixJuice

    [re=489067]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You made me larf with that.

  • inedalo

    what about clinton and monica? if only she had learned to swallow properly in the oval office, we wouldn’t have to take our shoes off at the airport!

  • chaste everywhere

    [re=489034]bitchincamaro[/re]: I don’t, for one.

  • Katydid

    [re=489036]freakishlystrong[/re]: No, but I saw it on Colbert last night. It looked scared to death of Colbert, and could barely speak. It was very wooden. It looked like it was trying not to shit its pants when Colbert brought up its most execrable twats, esp. one that said something about Souter fucking a goat or something, and one comparing Pelosi to Goebbels, I think.

    Then I looked on redstate last night to see the commenters lining up to blow it, and was surprised that it was ambivalent about its performance – because it sucked – but it proclaimed that it must have done well because the lefties hated it. Its such an angry overheated little bot.

    What it was actually referring to was the 900+ negative comments to an unbelievably suckup article some FL paper wrote about it which actually described it as “cherubic,” which I guess is how Floridians say “fat retarded fuck.”

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    I have always most closely associated the Presidency with the spin fuck chair that Clinton had installed in the Lincoln Bedroom.

    That or the padded floor and walls they put in for W.

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=489404]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: “the spin fuck chair”. Hilarity. Model numbers and distributors, please.