new decade of terror

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How will David Vitter get his hooker money now?HOORAY, NOW CONGRESS CAN NEVER RETURN: America’s Airport is being attacked by Ronald Reagan’s ghost, who hasn’t been receiving royalties! “Washington (CNN) — An electrical failure in the system that feeds Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport interrupted flights Monday and prompted additional security measures, airport officials told CNN. ‘The failure is outside the airport,’ said Metropolitan Washington Airports spokeswoman Courtney Mickalonis, ‘and the airport is in a ground stop,’ halting all arrivals and departures.” Make sure to blame Obama for this, if you haven’t already. [CNN]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • memzilla

    If you see Bruce Willis and Fred Thompson at this airport, RUUUUUUNNNN!

  • Carrie_Okie

    Because good people of faith don’t need back up generators. It is God’s will. Bi+ches.

  • Doglessliberal

    I blame Canada because Canada has sent this maddening 50 mph hell wind we have had for the past four days, and it is blowing down power lines all over. We need to bomb them now and make them take back their wind and 18 degree mornings.

  • Terry

    Well, at least National has some decent places to eat while folks wait for their flights to be rescheduled.

    Tell me again why National was renamed for a man who professed to dislike DC and what it stands for and was never known to actually have flown through the airport?

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    The problem is that power generators don’t take NoBama seriously and are crashing the grid at will knowing that the he won’t unleash the full force of American power on them.

  • V572625694

    This is a good opportunity to demolish the old part. The new part of National’s kinda neat, still.

  • Manos: Hands of Fate

    [re=488468]Terry[/re]: He also fired a butt load of air-traffic controllers.

  • Cranky Little Camperette

    [re=488468]Terry[/re]: I just love how they named the airport for the guy who fired all the air traffic controllers.

  • Cranky Little Camperette

    [re=488475]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: GAH! Jinx!

  • bago

    I blame the Gay Conservative Eagles!

  • V572625694

    [re=488468]Terry[/re]: National was re-named for Ronnie because the Republan doofuses in Congress tried to re-name every fucking thing after him. There’s a Ronald Wilson Reagan Memorial Commode at the Corps of Engineers’ headquarters on Mass Ave. It’s a good place to express your feelings about St Ronnie.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Hey, you can keep it. I’m freezing my balls off in my burb of Canada City.

    But if you’re going to blame someone, blame Alberta and the weather system known as the Alberta Clipper.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=488468]Terry[/re]: AND who fired the air traffic controllers in 1981.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=488475]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: oops, you beat me. But naming it after him always seemed like a huge fuck you to air traffic controllers. Bizarre choice.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    See what happens when you try to close Gitmo!

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=488482]ManchuCandidate[/re]: ok, fuck Alberta then. I don’t mind cold, but the wind needs to stop.

  • Oh hell to the no

    Is it true Ronald Reagan fired all the air traffic controllers? Someone tell me!

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=488466]Doglessliberal[/re]: Now, now, Dogless. Canada is the wind beneath our wings, and you know it.

  • Doglessliberal
  • Doglessliberal

    [re=488493]bitchincamaro[/re]: unending wind for four days has made me Ms. Crankypants.

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=488491]Oh hell to the no[/re]: Go back to sleep. You’re better off semi-comatose.

  • WickedWitch

    Be like the flight attendants — call it National. Just like the main airport in Houston is Intercontinental, NOT Poppy Bush.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=488499]WickedWitch[/re]: Hmmmm. You’re right. I have never heard any member of a flight crew refer to National by that other crackpot name.

  • chascates

    It’s morning in America’s airports.

  • Come here a minute

    [re=488491]Oh hell to the no[/re]: Hell to the yes, every fucking one of them.

  • pondscum

    [re=488466]Doglessliberal[/re]: Weenie. Our high today won’t reach 18.

  • The Unfairman

    [re=488549]pondscum[/re]: Seriously, it’s these wussies like [re=488466]Doglessliberal[/re]: that make me feel tough as a Minnesotan, and I am in no way tough.

    And yes, [re=488466]Doglessliberal[/re]:, I called you a wussie! WHATCHA GOAN DO BOUT IT?

  • nutcracker

    As a DC native I can assure you that no one from DC calls it anything but National. I’m sure Cheney is the one who took the juice from the airport, to re-animate himself so he can crank out more of his tired bullshit. He only stays alive via weekly jolts of 1,000,000 volts and monthly baths in the blood of virgins.

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=488581]The Unfairman[/re]: Well, I ran 6 miles outside Saturday morning at 9 am when it was 16 degrees and 50 mph wind gusts, and I am going to do it again tomorrow morning at 6 am, so kiss my weenie patootie. Then you can come stand on the Metro platform, outside and elevated, at 7:30 am with me tomorrow morning.

    But you are right, I grew up in the north but my blood has thinned since moving here, so I am a weenie.

  • BlueStateLibtard

    There’s also Pappy Bush Highway in Dallas. I had to pay a goddamn toll to use it, too. Those Bushies will do anything for a dime.

  • The Unfairman

    [re=488596]Doglessliberal[/re]: See, that was kinda my point. You’re obviously way tougher than am, what with the outdoor running and what have you. Even if I were a runner, we’re basically forbidden to run outside when it’s winter here…negative temps will freeze your lungs T1000 style.

    I still bike commute through the winter and, when I don’t, I bus, so I still get exposed!

    So you’re way tougher than me, but you make me seem tougher. Which…hey, actually, I appreciate that. Thanks!

  • Doglessliberal

    [re=488663]The Unfairman[/re]: You bike in this, you are tough. One of those wind gusts, and you are airborne. A lot more wind resistance and less balanced than without the bike.

    So we are all badasses around here, dammit.

    And, TruckNutz!