About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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Hola wonkerados.

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  1. TJBeck

    How will Liz afford specially priced boneless wings all day long from BW3? Seriously, this add won’t close.

  2. nbawriter

    Christ, even the Moonies will go to any roundabout means to propel Liz into the porn industry.

    Don’t do it Liz! And by “it,” I mean “double anal.” Everything else, however, is inbounds.

  3. S.Luggo

    “Effective Monday, January 4, a new local print edition will focus on the core strengths of The Washington Times…”
    Those being the personal ads for oriental massage and the Sudoku.

  4. nbawriter

    Can the Moonies buy Book TV and drive that into the ground so I am spared crazy-faced Foreigner Who Hates Foreigners staring at me?

  5. chascates

    At least the new administration is more amenable to yoga than the past one so manybe Liz can open her studio (no microphone-eating dogs allowed).

    Does this mean all those Moonie mass-marriages are annulled?

  6. V572625694

    Even a money-wasting Moonie should be smart enough to realize you should kill a money-loser all at once, rather than bleeding it dry slowly. Who doesn’t love the sports section of the Times? Probably everyone who’s never read it. Which is everyone.

  7. Hunger Tallest Palin

    our transition into a 21st century multimedia enterprise

    Hooray, they’re merging with PJTV!

    And apparently everyone has noted that Editor Digital is kinda dirty so never mind.

  8. snideinplainsight

    Plus, Washington DC already has a trusted source for ridiculously right-slanted news reporting and offensive opinion pieces.

  9. JMP

    Good luck, Liz; at least congress has extended unemployment benefits yet again.

    [re=487024]S.Luggo[/re]: Wasn’t their core strength printing unedited conservative talking points? That’s probably been their problem; the Post across town has usurped that role, with the addition of undeserved respectability left over from the 70s.

  10. memzilla

    We are sad/happy for Liz’s firing/new opportunities.

    How about paying her to liveblog/harass Malky “Filipino Creamy” McMalkinator on C-SPAN Sunday, Jim & Ken? And no paying her in expired kimchi like the last guy, either.

  11. SayItWithWookies

    Oh great — this means more Tony Blankley screeds in HuffPo — like his inclusion there is anything but inexplicable to begin with.

  12. thesheriffisnear

    Again, as the “Times” is slowly bled white I become increasingly wary that the lack of competition will compel the “Post” to lower its standards of journalistic excel…Never mind!!!

  13. Tundra Grifter

    The right wing nutz have been yelling for years that “the old media” is (ok – I know it should be “are” but these guys aren’t very bright) dead because of it’s (their) liberal views. That’s why The New York Times is going broke – just too librual.

    Then Citadel Communications goes BK. Of course, this has nothing to do with its right wing radio shows. Nope. Nada. Zip.

    Now The Washington Times – DC’s answer to the free weekly shoppers’ guide – is going OOB. Nothing to do with its political views, of course.

    William F. Buckley’s National Review sent out begging letters for years. Once I wrote him back, telling him I was a free market guy and that publications should survive on their own merits – not charity.

    Guess he was too busy to ever write me back…

  14. weejee

    [re=487043]memzilla[/re]: Yeah Ken/Jim. Ace videographer Liz deserves fresh winter kimchi made this fall, not that stuff your great uncles brought back from Puson when they were there with MacArthur.

  15. thesheriffisnear

    [re=487047]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Blankley’s inclusion is quite explainable as Arianna is going through a reversion not unlike Charlie Gordon’s in “Flowers for Algernon.”

  16. Snarkalicious

    [re=487036]snideinplainsight[/re]: Not necessary. Enough folks at the Times suck enough cock to make that a self-sustained integrated peer review process.

  17. Neilist

    Big Idea Of The Day: Liz and Michelle starring in a Hot Lesbo ACTION feature!

    “Lickin’ A Conservative”?

    “A Dog, A ‘Microphone,’ & Two Fish Tacos”?

    “Ping-Pong Yoga: Positions On The Right & Left”?

    [Yes, I know I’m a Sick Fuck. What’s your point?]

  18. Bronkers

    If Ryan Bingham/George Clooney delivered the news, that would have softened the pain a little.

    To Liz: You have my sympathies on getting riff’d, but freedom from WaPo and its ilk might be worth the dislocation.

  19. Bronkers

    Ack, I meant freedom from the Washington Times. Too busy multi-tasking. Happy New Year’s to the Wonketteers.

  20. hoosiermama

    [re=487069]pampl[/re]: Go away, troll, don’t you know anything? She’s a Moonie who videographs dogs eating microphones. God!

  21. finallyhappy

    My husband was a reputable journalist whose paper went under so then he worked for the Times in its early days but he was fired after some years. He left newspapers after that and went into a totally different field(a place I wasn’t ashamed to talk about). I was in the presence of the Moon himself more than once-Christmas parties and the 10th anniversary gala(they had Lee Greenwood-I remember that)

  22. President Beeblebrox

    [re=487061]Neilist[/re]: How about “Pedobear Meets Michelle” while we’re at it?


    Yes I know teh Wonkett has gone over the Malkin/cheerleader photos many, many times, but like herpes, this episode in Madam Ping-Pong’s life is a gift that keeps on giving.

  23. Redhead

    Awww, Liz. Welcome to the new American Dream – actually figuring out how to balance your budget when your unemployment benefits are exactly half your monthly CBRA costs. (Rent is now irrelevant, since we all sleep in cardboard boxes under bridges.)

  24. hotdog

    At first I read, “she has just been laid,” and I wondered why Liz was sharing this personal information with such a wide audience.

    Oh, laid off? That’s different. Never mind.

  25. Redhead

    PS – There’s no shame in working whatever menial job you can get, which will undoubtedly pay less than the job you worked in high school but still more than unemployment, as long as you refrain from killing your retarded new boss who has no idea how to manage anything but doesn’t want to listen to anyone with fancy schmancy edumacated ideas about how to improve it.

    That, and there are still newspaper jobs around – very hard to come by, and for even less money, but they’re there!

  26. finallyhappy

    [re=487087]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: People from the Star(the other paper in Dc many years ago) went to the Times in the early days. That is all- except that I have eternal life because Rev. Moon brushed against me at a Christmas party.

  27. Neilist

    [re=487093]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Zaffod, I feel DIRTY every time I watch that clip of Michelle in her cheerleading uniform.


    And I’m proud of that . . . .

  28. Oh hell to the no

    Between the potential cancellation of the Washington Times and the actual cancellation of the Jeff Dunham Show, I’d say Kwanzaa Klaus has finally listened to me for once.

  29. S.Luggo

    Liz to get “unemployment compensation”?? [Coughs out his last fruity and delicious swallow of Mad Dog 20/20 and of his own residual upchuck.] At the WT, everyone is independent contractor. Ayn Rand would have wanted this.

    As Ben Franklin once said, “Lie down with Moonies, rise without benies.”

  30. Barrelhse

    I know of a certain reporter from Hardin, MT, who would probably jump at the chance to work for the Times. Right Becky?

  31. June Cleaver 2.0

    [re=487029]nbawriter[/re]: “Can the Moonies buy Book TV and drive that into the ground so I am spared crazy-faced Foreigner Who Hates Foreigners staring at me?”

    Thank you. I’m tired of looking at her mug.

  32. Redhead

    [re=487127]S.Luggo[/re]: I meant government unemployment checks, not a buyout package or anything nearly so COMMIENAZISOCIALIST.

    But you know what is absolutely awesome about all the reporters being independent contractors? Depending on how much they’re paid (by the hour/by the article, and the rate, etc) they can still collect unemployment benefits on the weeks they make under a certain amount – I mean even before the Moonie Times went financially and morally bankrupt! So Ayn Rand’s way would enable Moonie Times workers to collect a paycheck AND government assistance – way to go Ayn!

  33. Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=487018]nbawriter[/re]: Don’t worry. She’s heading up to Williamsburg, Brooklyn, to shoot for BurningAngel’s next “alt” feature, Vox Politicum.

  34. GreenHalo

    Even now, beneath a hundred stories of granite protecting Project Fox News, highly classified self-aware neural networks compete to figure out why that White House geek’s new fuck-toy is considered unclean and skanky, while girl-next-door sans principles Liz Glover causes snarky commentators to drench their shorts with starbursts.

    It’s kind of cool, actually. Definite Air and Space Museum vibe. Audio-animatronic replicants of Kiran Chetry conduct tours daily, to those with the proper clearance. Try to make the scene on Tuesday; that’s Triple Leg Crossing day. You won’t be sorry.

  35. kudzu

    Glad to see that rag go down the toilet. As for Liz, well, that’s what you get for hanging out with conservatards. She’ll be OK, though. She’s smart and witty and she’ll have no problem finding something else to do.

  36. binarian

    [re=487150]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: Yeah, I’ve about had it with Michelle and her grinning visage also.

    Liz: Feel your pain, oh Great Videographer, today was my last day a large Northeastern financial institution who’s name begins with F and who I will from this point think as Fuckheads.

  37. Ducksworthy

    [re=487083]weejee[/re]: Thanks you weejee, That cleansed my brain of the horrible Bus and Malkin images.

  38. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Of course, the Washington Times won’t be fully closed until the mass suicide at the end.

    And does anyone think it is weird that the Times needs to consult with someone to figure out what is news and what is not?

  39. Murphious

    There isn’t an un-biased source for news in the USA anyway, so no biggie…
    Publishing on paper is as dead as the dinosaur.
    Read Reuters for news.

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