About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here with a few helpful links to ease your transition to Disqus - Claiming Old Accounts - Claiming Your ID Comments [Looking into whether this is still possible - Shy] - Turning off Disqus Notifications. And, as always, remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • TJBeck

    How will Liz afford specially priced boneless wings all day long from BW3? Seriously, this add won’t close.

  • nbawriter

    Christ, even the Moonies will go to any roundabout means to propel Liz into the porn industry.

    Don’t do it Liz! And by “it,” I mean “double anal.” Everything else, however, is inbounds.

  • Godless Liberal

    Would it be out of line for me to offer her a “position” in my employ?

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    “Digital” Jeffery Birnbaum–what a nickname!

  • S.Luggo

    “Effective Monday, January 4, a new local print edition will focus on the core strengths of The Washington Times…”
    Those being the personal ads for oriental massage and the Sudoku.

  • snideinplainsight

    How come the Wonkett doesn’t have an “Editor-Digital”?

  • nbawriter

    Can the Moonies buy Book TV and drive that into the ground so I am spared crazy-faced Foreigner Who Hates Foreigners staring at me?

  • Cape Clod

    Today, we are all Women Who Can’t Make The Dog Let Go Of Her Microphone.

  • chascates

    At least the new administration is more amenable to yoga than the past one so manybe Liz can open her studio (no microphone-eating dogs allowed).

    Does this mean all those Moonie mass-marriages are annulled?

  • V572625694

    Even a money-wasting Moonie should be smart enough to realize you should kill a money-loser all at once, rather than bleeding it dry slowly. Who doesn’t love the sports section of the Times? Probably everyone who’s never read it. Which is everyone.

  • snideinplainsight

    And, by extension (ha!) do the moonies also have an Editor-Oral, &etc &etc… ?

  • Hunger Tallest Palin

    our transition into a 21st century multimedia enterprise

    Hooray, they’re merging with PJTV!

    And apparently everyone has noted that Editor Digital is kinda dirty so never mind.

  • snideinplainsight

    Plus, Washington DC already has a trusted source for ridiculously right-slanted news reporting and offensive opinion pieces.

  • Bearbloke

    Perhaps the good Reverend Moon is being returning to heaven following his coronation and needs to scare-up some liquidity by cutting the staff…

    [re=487024]S.Luggo[/re]: Those adverts will be in the last few “Happy Ending” pages of the paper…

  • JMP

    Good luck, Liz; at least congress has extended unemployment benefits yet again.

    [re=487024]S.Luggo[/re]: Wasn’t their core strength printing unedited conservative talking points? That’s probably been their problem; the Post across town has usurped that role, with the addition of undeserved respectability left over from the 70s.

  • Vulpes82

    Does this mean the return of Liz is nigh? Yay!

  • memzilla

    We are sad/happy for Liz’s firing/new opportunities.

    How about paying her to liveblog/harass Malky “Filipino Creamy” McMalkinator on C-SPAN Sunday, Jim & Ken? And no paying her in expired kimchi like the last guy, either.

  • SayItWithWookies

    Oh great — this means more Tony Blankley screeds in HuffPo — like his inclusion there is anything but inexplicable to begin with.

  • thesheriffisnear

    Again, as the “Times” is slowly bled white I become increasingly wary that the lack of competition will compel the “Post” to lower its standards of journalistic excel…Never mind!!!

  • Tundra Grifter

    The right wing nutz have been yelling for years that “the old media” is (ok – I know it should be “are” but these guys aren’t very bright) dead because of it’s (their) liberal views. That’s why The New York Times is going broke – just too librual.

    Then Citadel Communications goes BK. Of course, this has nothing to do with its right wing radio shows. Nope. Nada. Zip.

    Now The Washington Times – DC’s answer to the free weekly shoppers’ guide – is going OOB. Nothing to do with its political views, of course.

    William F. Buckley’s National Review sent out begging letters for years. Once I wrote him back, telling him I was a free market guy and that publications should survive on their own merits – not charity.

    Guess he was too busy to ever write me back…

  • weejee

    [re=487043]memzilla[/re]: Yeah Ken/Jim. Ace videographer Liz deserves fresh winter kimchi made this fall, not that stuff your great uncles brought back from Puson when they were there with MacArthur.

  • thesheriffisnear

    [re=487047]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Blankley’s inclusion is quite explainable as Arianna is going through a reversion not unlike Charlie Gordon’s in “Flowers for Algernon.”

  • Snarkalicious

    [re=487036]snideinplainsight[/re]: Not necessary. Enough folks at the Times suck enough cock to make that a self-sustained integrated peer review process.

  • Neilist

    Big Idea Of The Day: Liz and Michelle starring in a Hot Lesbo ACTION feature!

    “Lickin’ A Conservative”?

    “A Dog, A ‘Microphone,’ & Two Fish Tacos”?

    “Ping-Pong Yoga: Positions On The Right & Left”?

    [Yes, I know I’m a Sick Fuck. What’s your point?]

  • Aurelio

    Liz: don’t look at this as a failure. See it as an opportunity to get out of the cult for good.

  • Bronkers

    If Ryan Bingham/George Clooney delivered the news, that would have softened the pain a little.

    To Liz: You have my sympathies on getting riff’d, but freedom from WaPo and its ilk might be worth the dislocation.

  • Bronkers

    Ack, I meant freedom from the Washington Times. Too busy multi-tasking. Happy New Year’s to the Wonketteers.

  • pampl

    What’s Liz Glover? A former Our Wonkette?

  • hoosiermama

    [re=487069]pampl[/re]: Go away, troll, don’t you know anything? She’s a Moonie who videographs dogs eating microphones. God!

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=487069]pampl[/re]: Liz is a direct descendant of the Great Moon.

  • gjdodger

    I’ll pay Liz twice what the Moonies did to stand behind that Dutch bodyscan thingie.

  • Lee

    Liz,

    Are the Moonies like Scientologists without ray guns?

    Good luck to you.

  • weejee
  • finallyhappy

    My husband was a reputable journalist whose paper went under so then he worked for the Times in its early days but he was fired after some years. He left newspapers after that and went into a totally different field(a place I wasn’t ashamed to talk about). I was in the presence of the Moon himself more than once-Christmas parties and the 10th anniversary gala(they had Lee Greenwood-I remember that)

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=487084]finallyhappy[/re]: Please, please tell us more.

  • Buzz Feedback

    Sorry Liz. Good luck.

  • President Beeblebrox

    [re=487061]Neilist[/re]: How about “Pedobear Meets Michelle” while we’re at it?

    http://tbogg.blogspot.com/2007/04/oh.html

    Yes I know teh Wonkett has gone over the Malkin/cheerleader photos many, many times, but like herpes, this episode in Madam Ping-Pong’s life is a gift that keeps on giving.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=487093]President Beeblebrox[/re]: If I’m not mistaken, Pedobear is one of the “Faces of the GOP”.

    What Michelle Malkin is, however, remains to be determined.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=487025]snideinplainsight[/re]: Ken is the very model of a modern editor digital.

  • Barrett808

    [re=487083]weejee[/re]: Thanks, now I get the dog/mic jokes.

    And Liz: so hot.

  • Redhead

    Awww, Liz. Welcome to the new American Dream – actually figuring out how to balance your budget when your unemployment benefits are exactly half your monthly CBRA costs. (Rent is now irrelevant, since we all sleep in cardboard boxes under bridges.)

  • S.Luggo
  • hotdog

    At first I read, “she has just been laid,” and I wondered why Liz was sharing this personal information with such a wide audience.

    Oh, laid off? That’s different. Never mind.

  • Redhead

    PS – There’s no shame in working whatever menial job you can get, which will undoubtedly pay less than the job you worked in high school but still more than unemployment, as long as you refrain from killing your retarded new boss who has no idea how to manage anything but doesn’t want to listen to anyone with fancy schmancy edumacated ideas about how to improve it.

    That, and there are still newspaper jobs around – very hard to come by, and for even less money, but they’re there!

  • finallyhappy

    [re=487087]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: People from the Star(the other paper in Dc many years ago) went to the Times in the early days. That is all- except that I have eternal life because Rev. Moon brushed against me at a Christmas party.

  • Neilist

    [re=487093]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Zaffod, I feel DIRTY every time I watch that clip of Michelle in her cheerleading uniform.

    DIRTY. DIRTY. DIRTY.

    And I’m proud of that . . . .

  • Oh hell to the no

    Between the potential cancellation of the Washington Times and the actual cancellation of the Jeff Dunham Show, I’d say Kwanzaa Klaus has finally listened to me for once.

  • S.Luggo

    [re=487112]Redhead[/re]:
    Liz to get “unemployment compensation”?? [Coughs out his last fruity and delicious swallow of Mad Dog 20/20 and of his own residual upchuck.] At the WT, everyone is independent contractor. Ayn Rand would have wanted this.

    As Ben Franklin once said, “Lie down with Moonies, rise without benies.”

  • Paul Tardy

    Let me get this straight working as a slave for a cult is not recession proof?

  • gjdodger

    [re=487130]Paul Tardy[/re]: You oughta know.

  • Barrelhse

    I know of a certain reporter from Hardin, MT, who would probably jump at the chance to work for the Times. Right Becky?

  • sezme

    Did they at least have the good grace to mass-marry all their employees before firing them?

  • June Cleaver 2.0

    [re=487029]nbawriter[/re]: “Can the Moonies buy Book TV and drive that into the ground so I am spared crazy-faced Foreigner Who Hates Foreigners staring at me?”

    Thank you. I’m tired of looking at her mug.

  • Redhead

    [re=487127]S.Luggo[/re]: I meant government unemployment checks, not a buyout package or anything nearly so COMMIENAZISOCIALIST.

    But you know what is absolutely awesome about all the reporters being independent contractors? Depending on how much they’re paid (by the hour/by the article, and the rate, etc) they can still collect unemployment benefits on the weeks they make under a certain amount – I mean even before the Moonie Times went financially and morally bankrupt! So Ayn Rand’s way would enable Moonie Times workers to collect a paycheck AND government assistance – way to go Ayn!

  • Mr Blifil

    There may be some openings at the Excellence In Broadcasting network…

  • Long Form Def Certificate

    [re=487018]nbawriter[/re]: Don’t worry. She’s heading up to Williamsburg, Brooklyn, to shoot for BurningAngel’s next “alt” feature, Vox Politicum.

  • GreenHalo

    Even now, beneath a hundred stories of granite protecting Project Fox News, highly classified self-aware neural networks compete to figure out why that White House geek’s new fuck-toy is considered unclean and skanky, while girl-next-door sans principles Liz Glover causes snarky commentators to drench their shorts with starbursts.

    It’s kind of cool, actually. Definite Air and Space Museum vibe. Audio-animatronic replicants of Kiran Chetry conduct tours daily, to those with the proper clearance. Try to make the scene on Tuesday; that’s Triple Leg Crossing day. You won’t be sorry.

  • kudzu

    Glad to see that rag go down the toilet. As for Liz, well, that’s what you get for hanging out with conservatards. She’ll be OK, though. She’s smart and witty and she’ll have no problem finding something else to do.

  • P Drizzle

    So do the Scientologists have a monthly newsletter or what? I hear LA is lovely this time of year.

  • binarian

    [re=487150]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: Yeah, I’ve about had it with Michelle and her grinning visage also.

    Liz: Feel your pain, oh Great Videographer, today was my last day a large Northeastern financial institution who’s name begins with F and who I will from this point think as Fuckheads.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=487083]weejee[/re]: Thanks you weejee, That cleansed my brain of the horrible Bus and Malkin images.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Of course, the Washington Times won’t be fully closed until the mass suicide at the end.

    And does anyone think it is weird that the Times needs to consult with someone to figure out what is news and what is not?

  • Murphious

    There isn’t an un-biased source for news in the USA anyway, so no biggie…
    Publishing on paper is as dead as the dinosaur.
    Read Reuters for news.