PETE SESSIONS INSANELY GAY FOR TERRIBLE CRIMINAL: “Just hours after federal agents charged banker Allen Stanford with fleecing investors of $7 billion, the disgraced financier received a message from one of Congress’ most powerful members, Pete Sessions. ‘I love you and believe in you,’ said the e-mail sent on Feb. 17. ‘If you want my ear/voice — e-mail,’ it said, signed ‘Pete.’” So… they’re fucking. [Miami Herald]
'EAR/VOICE -- E-MAIL' 4:23 pm December 28, 2009
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{ 55 comments }
They’re on a fucking first name basis.
To Sir, with love.
(And a little teeth.)
“If you want my voice” translated means “if you want to look for my tonsils with your penis.”
I’m so, so sorry the Alaska delegation of Young and Stevens and Murkowski didn’t get in on this. Sounds like ‘way more fun than those grimy, low-rent oil industry “subsidies” in stuffy hotel rooms. Don Young is probably crying himself blind with jealousy.
I guess Stanford is getting his Peter Sessions in jail now.
Florida Republican. Check. Closeted gay. Check. Financial shenanigans. Check. The only question is whether this is newsworthy.
So! You never know when that sparkin’ thing is going to happen.
Bernie made such a big splash that my first thought at the news of Allen Stanford was “Thank god he’s not another Jew.” Of course we still have Lieberman around to reinforce the self-loathing.
So will the feds probe Session’s orifices to see which are stuffed with Stanford’s semen stained $100 bills?
I wonder what odd evolutionary twist it took to make the Republican gene coincide 100% with the presence of the “My asshole converts folding currency into lube” gene.
I’ll go with cousin fucking as a first guess.
Dear Jeff:
And I’m gonna give you every inch of my love.
— Allen
Soul mates. Both slimey asshats.
[re=485781]Snarkalicious[/re]: “You’ve got to give [Stanford] credit, he got the best bang for his buck.”
Indeed.
If you want my mouth/ass — e-mail
Y’all have dirty, sick perverted elite liberal minds. He was just trying to get ahold of some of Stanford’s Bud Light.
[re=485784]S.Luggo[/re]: Dear Allen:
FIVE AND A HALF INCHES, ALLEN! FIVE AND A HALF INCHES!!1
XOXO,
Jeff
Here comes Pete Sessions again
With the liquor and drugs
And the flesh machine
He’s gonna do another strip tease.
Hey man, where’d ya get that lotion?
I’ve been hurting since I’ve bought the gimmick
about something called love
Yeah, something called love.
Well, that’s like hypnotizing chickens.
Well, I’m just a modern guy
Of course, I’ve had it in the ear before.
I have a lust for life
‘Cause of a lust for life.
“Agents are examining campaign dollars, as well as lavish Caribbean trips funded by Stanford for politicians and their spouses, feting them with lobster dinners and caviar.”
Whatever filthy sex games these people are into, why did they have to bring shellfish into it?! Won’t somebody think of the roe?
Why are you so cynical… he was just talking about a nice handjob.
What would Mark Kirk think?
http://www.suntimes.com/news/metro/1961750,mark-kirk-gay-attack-ad-election-122809.article
they are all criminal. Indite them all, convict them, and let’s start over from scratch.
The only thing more sexy than a wealthy financier is a disgraced formerly wealthy financier. I mean, what’s not to love?
Who wouldn’t put their dikk in Pete Sessions’ ear?
Don’t forget, this is the same (eager) asshole who proclaimed the Taliban to be the role models for House Republicans during the Obama administration, so this really isn’t so bad…at least by comparison.
Ear? Aural Sex?
[re=485800]Lee[/re]:
From Wikipedia;
“In July 2007, [US Rep. Mark Kirk (R-Closet, Ill.)] proposed what he sees as a long term solution to the problem of Mexican immigration: shipping condoms to poor areas of Mexico.”
The Kirk’s orginal proposal was ‘buttsecks’, but staff caught it in time.
Whoever said money can’t buy you love never met Pete Sessions. He has plenty of love for sale.
[re=485819]PrairiePossum[/re]: Cole Porter. Kudos.
[re=485788]DiscoUkulele[/re]: Teehee!
Stanford, that’s the guy that effed up the cricket, i’nt, he?
I guess there’s a rear entry into Session’s Klan Robes.
[re=485818]S.Luggo[/re]: That would be my Congressman. Gawd wut a clustermunge.
The Christmas Spirit is still alive and well. Thanks for the late present, Santa! I needed a laugh today!
yep, lends a whole new meaning to the banking concepts of “deposit” and “withdrawal.”
I want to point out that Pete Sessions is a Republican representing Dallas – as in Texas. This is despite the fact that the story was from the Miami Herald. We have way too many jackass republicans from Florida in Congress as it is – we don’t need to claim one from Texas as our own. Is this related to Pox Gnus always identifying any republican in hot water as a democrat?
Isn’t Dubya one of Pete Sessions constituents? He’s really just representin’, ya know?
“That is why Congressman Sessions has made transparency and accountability central to his commitment to fiscal responsibility. To shine the light on government operations and tax dollar use, Congressman Sessions supports the following priorities….” From the Honorable Member of Congress’s website. List of bullshit priorities omitted.
Ear/voice I’ll give you for free, but for ass you still pay fifty upfront.
Worst Bob Dylan/The Band album ever: “The Peter Sessions.”
I bet if you go to Pete Sessions web site you won’t see a picture promoting Michelle Malkin. At least there are some lines even he won’t cross.
[re=485914]CanadianBacon[/re]: Think of the wasted ad dollars promoting Malkin’s appearance to the Wonketteers. It sort of makes up for looking at her face, really.
[re=485899]oldguy[/re]:
“Transparency and accountability? … In Antigua we don’t need no stinkin’ transparency and accountability!”
With Allen, Jeff in a lovely, diaphanous Haole shirt.
http://www.talkingpointsmemo.com/images/sessions-stanford-bl.jpg
So not ghey.
[re=485917]Cicada[/re]: The ad is paid for by Pepto-Bismol, they are making money off our suffering.
re=485812]Buzz Feedback[/re]:
Who would want to be where Jason Chaffetz (R: And-the-colored-girls-go, Utah) has already gone?
[re=485914]CanadianBacon[/re]:
Sessions is also obsessed with the sweetness of young boy love, also. E,g,: http://www.democraticunderground.com/top10/07/289_malkin4.jpg
Jefferson Beauregard “Jeff” Sessions III.
Isn’t it a pity, isn‘t it a shame?
Who decided it would be a good idea to stack ads of Malkin’s vicious taint AND Emperor Gayface? No mas!
Well, Mr Sessions, what have you got in the freezer?
Now, would Pete Sessions defend Mark Kirk from Andy Martin?
Republicans will do anything to get in on a ponzi scheme.
Anything on Marc Foley’s Facebook page about this?
Ah, yes, the BUSINESS of government.
So what is he using to communicate emails to his ear? These genetic mutations are becoming so confusing
The GOP is just so GAY these days!
Putting the “White” in white-collar crime.
The part that is worthy of attention here is that this wasn’t originally caught by the justice department, it was investigated as a Ponzi scheme by the SEC and refferred when the links to the Pols turned up.
I think we should investigate everyone who contributes large amounts of money to politicians, as the police like to say, you don’t hand money to the crack man unless you’re buying crack,
[re=485800]Lee[/re]: That’s a very, very good question. The local press certainly seems to be giving a certain amount of traction to the rantings of Martin, who has long been known to be bugfuck crazy.
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