• May 26, 2012
DAILY BRIEFING

December 15, 2009

Gitmo, Like All Of Your College Friends, Is Really Into The Idea Of Chicago Right Now

by Juli Weiner  

  • Illinois’ Thomson Correctional Facility, 150 miles outside of Chicago, has won all the Guantanamo detainees! Thomson can choose to receive the prisoners in a lump sum or in installments paid out over the next forty years. [Washington Post]
  • China will not let any other country keep tabs on its carbon emissions, which is a thing that, according to the US, prohibits the US from signing off on an international accord. [New York Times]
  • A bomb exploded outside the former vice president of Afghanistan’s house, killing eight non-former-vice-president-of-Afghanistan people. [CNN]
  • A bomb exploded outside a lawmaker’s house in Pakistan, killing 22 non-this-specific-lawmaker people. [AP]
  • Baseball’s Hideki Matsui, literally the sport’s “most valuable player,” was actually valued at $6.5 million a year, according to his new adoptive family the Los Angeles Angels. [WSJ]
  • The GOP is hoping that Hawaii’s no-runoff, winner-take-all, idiosyncratically charming bordering on cloying weird special election will result in a loss for Democratic Rep. Neil Abercrombie. [The Hill]

{ 17 comments }

greywindz December 15, 2009 at 9:09 am

Chinese commies won again!!! Congrats Barry! ;-)

TGY December 15, 2009 at 9:09 am

Can’t we just encase the Gitmos in carbonite? It worked to keep Han Solo off the streets. For a bit, anyway.

Larry McAwful December 15, 2009 at 9:12 am

The Republicans are hopeful that they just might be able to win a three-way race against two Democrats? This is cause for celebration? Man, how low they’ve sunk.

ManchuCandidate December 15, 2009 at 9:12 am

I think the reason why China doesn’t want anyone to monitor their CO2 emissions is because we humans don’t have a number big enough to quantify it. They seem to be hell bent on making the same mistakes we Western folks did. I, for one, won’t be sending bottled water to China when the mountain glaciers that supply most of China’s fresh water disappear. Killing Sparrows/bug problem, melting down farm impliments and cook pots and destroying one’s cultural heritage won’t be the stupidest decision China’s Commie Leadership ever made.

Matsui? Come on! The Phillies just made the NL cry with their trade of Roy “Doc” Halladay from the Toronto Expos, um, Blue Jays.

Potater December 15, 2009 at 9:13 am

You mean the guy who’s represented Hawaii since the ’90s and is an actual personal friend of Barack Obama’s family?

The GOP: Chucking Rocks at Dragons

hoosiermama December 15, 2009 at 9:19 am

Yay! The prison economy in Illinois will flourish once again! Put those locals to work beating up the Gitmos! Obama’s plan for turning the state of Illinois into a penal colony is working nicely…

New Motto for America: When prison guards work, America works!

snideinplainsight December 15, 2009 at 9:55 am

Oh, please, let us make fun of little Dickie Cohen again! Please?

snideinplainsight December 15, 2009 at 9:56 am

’cause his column today is about robots! Beep-boo-doo-ditti-do-whoop!

qwerty42 December 15, 2009 at 10:20 am

Can’t they use that “Fox River State Penitentiary” since Prison Break doesn’t need it anymore (since it’s actually the old Joliet prison, we could get a new generation of Joliet Jakes and such).

JohnnyMeatworth December 15, 2009 at 10:34 am

well, that ought to make up for losing the Olympics….

Berkeley Bear December 15, 2009 at 11:13 am

The reaction to Thomson here in Illinois is hilarious. The place has been nearly empty since it was built. This is in part because there’s no money for guards, and in part because Blago couldn’t shut down an older prison in Pontiac and ship the population there before he got kicked out of office (the union got the new guy to stop the closure, which was mainly so Blago could punish an enemy). It’s a no brainer to make it a Federal property instead of a state white elephant, but since the 2010 governor’s race is heating up no GOP candidate wants to give Quinn any credit. Plus it would help close Gitmo, which is such an uber scary idea the GOP is collectively crapping their pants.

So apparently the GOP is against the Federal government coming in, taking an eyesore off the state’s hands at a decent price and creating good paying jobs in a place with a crappy economy. All in the name of national security. Yaay.

chascates December 15, 2009 at 11:43 am

Is there no good news? Anywhere?

Lascauxcaveman December 15, 2009 at 11:47 am

[re=478492]Berkeley Bear[/re]: Not even in the name of national security. More like “national security” (see: “iPhone”).

Or if you’re a commenter on red state;” NATIONAL SECRUTY!!!9!1!1!!!”

Paul Tardy December 15, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Hideki Matsui has been dethroned by the ‘ukulele kid’ a while ago.

China will not let any other country keep tabs on its carbon emissions. I say WAR!!!!!!!

lukewarm December 15, 2009 at 12:53 pm

Gah! The carbon goes into the air, doesn’t it? Just stand right outside China, and measure it with an air-measuring thing! Do I have to think of everything for these “scientists”?

finland December 15, 2009 at 2:48 pm

i take issue with some of this wonkette’s factual claims! who does she think she is??? none of my college friends are into chicago. i’m from chicago and i’m not even into chicago. have you heard it’s cold there?

so take that as a warning mrs. wonkette! your factual inaccuracies will not go unchallenged!

LowerdPeninsula December 16, 2009 at 12:22 am

[re=478492]Berkeley Bear[/re]: That’s exactly what happened here in Michigan…and why they ended up being sent to Illinois, instead. Our governor chickened out, and instead of telling it like it is, did this whole vacillation about how we’d be willing to take non-Gitmo prisoners from other states, but that she’d prefer not to have the Gitmo prisoners, but that she was still open to it…God, I’m glad her two terms are nearing an end.

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