ESPECIALLY THAT LYNNE  3:32 pm December 1, 2009

by Jim Newell

Time to set up your Chenativity sceneTHESE CHENEYS ARE ALL SUCH DICKS: From a Washington Post chat today with Ron Kessler, clearinghouse for all the hottest Secret Service gossip: “In addition, the Secret Service has been bowing to pressure by some protectees such as Mary Cheney, Dick Cheney’s daughter, who insisted that agents take her friends to restaurants. That is not the job of the Secret Service, and when agents refused she got her detail leader removed by Secret Service management.” See? These are the kind of brats you get when the father’s a lesbian. [Washington Post]

 
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{ 34 comments }

4tehlulz December 1, 2009 at 3:36 pm

Good thing the Secret Service has unlimited resources.

Hooray For Anything December 1, 2009 at 3:37 pm

You stay classy, Cheney family

M.Yazz December 1, 2009 at 3:38 pm

So, he doesn’t have a dick?

AnnieGetYourFun December 1, 2009 at 3:39 pm

That’s nothing. Meg McCain has secret service agent assigned to each boob, for a total of three (rim shot).

Come here a minute December 1, 2009 at 3:40 pm

Why the fuck are we providing this rich piece of shit socialist Secret Service protection?

AggieDemocrat December 1, 2009 at 3:41 pm

So they get socialized health care, socialized protection and socialized pensions, and we have to suffer?

you cannot be serious December 1, 2009 at 3:41 pm

And then she made them run out to Walgreens for tampons.

Aflac Shrugged December 1, 2009 at 3:42 pm

Maybe the guy who reassigned Mary’s detail leader is the same guy who made the call to admit any attractive white couples being followed by a cameraman to invitation-only White House functions.

SayItWithWookies December 1, 2009 at 3:45 pm

Hell, if I had to be the Cheney’s designated driver and knew I could get reassigned by simply refusing to comply with a nonstandard request, I’d jump at it. Cleaning the men’s rooms at Union Station with a worn-out toothbrush would be more satisfying than watching those conniving sanctimonious cynical fucks stuff their faces.

Suds McKenzie December 1, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Replaced by secret agent “Lilith”.

magic titty December 1, 2009 at 3:48 pm

Who the fuck even knows who Mary Cheney is, on sight, to bother her?

One Yield Regular December 1, 2009 at 3:52 pm

To be fair, her friends were intending to dine in the finest restaurants of Uganda.

AnnieGetYourFun December 1, 2009 at 3:56 pm

[re=469263]SayItWithWookies[/re]: But but but… think of the money to be made off of the tell-all you could write!

bitchincamaro December 1, 2009 at 3:56 pm

They can all eat shit at my house. I’ll turn the alarm on. No charge.

Mahousu December 1, 2009 at 4:01 pm

Wait, it just sounds like Mary’s playing matchmaker. Yeah, so maybe some of her friend/agent blind dates didn’t work out so well, but is that any reason for the Secret Service to get in a big snit?

queeraselvis v 2.0 December 1, 2009 at 4:02 pm

Odds are Mary Cheney invoked the infamous “Don’t you know who I am?” and was told by the since-removed Secret Service agent, “Yea, bitch, I know who you are… some washed-up has-been carpetmuncher who’s not fit to suck Chastity Bono’s dick.”

WarAndG December 1, 2009 at 4:06 pm

Did I mention that my children call raisins “Cheney Hearts.” Oh yeah I did two posts ago, and I still thinks it’s a funny and I may include that in my book about Marxus Obundus (kinda like that one children’s book that wingnut lady wrote.) OK bye.

Min December 1, 2009 at 4:08 pm

Bowing to pressure. Hmmm…does that mean that Mary is letting the Secret Service secretly tape her more attractive lesbian friends?

coolcatdaddy December 1, 2009 at 4:17 pm

When did the Secret Service start protecting and providing taxi service to spoiled bratty fugitives from reality tv shows?

And why are my tax dollars paying for this when they could be paying for live, nude television coverage of bratty fugitives from reality tv shows?

proudgrampa December 1, 2009 at 4:26 pm

“That is not the job of the Secret Service, and when agents refused she got her detail leader removed by Secret Service management.”

Well, it’s nice to have your manager back you up when you try to do the right thing…

Gorillionaire December 1, 2009 at 4:28 pm

FREE 24/7 SECURITY FOR BILLIONAIRES. What a country.

SayItWithWookies December 1, 2009 at 4:34 pm

[re=469279]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: And have the Cheney clan’s flying monkeys do everything they can to smear my name, credibility, sanity, morality and professionalism like they did to every single person who wrote a book expressing even the slightest negative thing about the Dubya administration?

chascates December 1, 2009 at 5:02 pm

Other than the current President, Veep, and their families any additional Secret Service protection should be billed to those currently receiving it. The Cheneys, Clintons, Bushes, and Carters have enough money to pay for private or public security. It’s bad enough every President is entitled to a huge legacy maintenance in the form of a library as well as office space and staff.

Since only rich people get elected anymore they should have to share their portion of the bills. Any Congressmember with a net worth of one million can pay for their own healthcare, stamps, and transportation.

MORE FREE CHEESE FOR THE MASSES!

Jim89048 December 1, 2009 at 5:43 pm

Since when do we pay for SS protection for the adult children of the VP, or even the P, for that matter? Does this mean Chelsea Clinton has goons surrounding her, and if so, how the fuck did she ever get to meet someone and convince said person to marry her?

ThePuckStopsHere December 1, 2009 at 5:45 pm

[re=469426]chascates[/re]: Fuck, yeah! I love cheese!

Mr Blifil December 1, 2009 at 5:50 pm

You know who else had an SS that gave gays a hard time?

Aurelio December 1, 2009 at 6:00 pm

[re=469255]AggieDemocrat[/re]: “So they get socialized health care, socialized protection and socialized pensions, and we have to suffer?”

In a country run by assholes, only assholes get socialism.

OReillysVibrator December 1, 2009 at 6:02 pm

Total misunderstanding here – Mary Cheney simply requested the Secret Service bring one of her friends over to jack in the box.

imissopus December 1, 2009 at 10:03 pm

[re=469426]chascates[/re]: For whatever reason it’s been a long tradition to provide all ex-Presidents and VPs and immediate family with protection for life, though I think because of limited resources, they were reducing that to ten years after the person leaves office, starting with G.W. Bush. So the Secret Service only has to endure nine more years of the Cheneys’ bullshit before telling them to fuck off and die.

Not that it matters for Dick, as we know he is Satan incarnate and cannot be killed by mere mortals.

CaliforniaMike December 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm

Very strange. Who is that woman with the Secret Service detail? Oh, she’s the lesbian daughter of a guy who used to be vice president. Why? Maybe because her dad is the most hated American politician since, oh, since maybe Aaron Burr.

ifthethunderdontgetya" December 2, 2009 at 1:02 am

Fucker can use his war criminal profits to employ Xe Services LLC (aka Blackwater) and get off the public teat.
~

LowerdPeninsula December 2, 2009 at 3:39 am

[re=469748]CaliforniaMike[/re]: “Maybe because her dad is the most hated American politician since, oh, since maybe Aaron Burr.”

Oh, man, I love that line.

Real Lane not " December 2, 2009 at 4:16 am

Supposedy Cheney’s Secret Service protection runs out in January, Obama gave him a 6 month extension…

Accordion-o-rama December 2, 2009 at 12:31 pm

[re=469491]Jim89048[/re]: The theory is that bad guys could kidnap the ex-VPs daughter, and use this leverage with the VP to make him do somethings really vile to the country.

Too late in this case.

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