LOU DOBBS WANTS MEXICAN DO-OVER  6:27 am November 25, 2009

by Ken Layne

Unwanted orange-headed puff-dildo.OH FUCK OFF & DROP DEAD: “Former CNN anchor Lou Dobbs, pondering a future in politics, is trying to wipe away his image as an enemy of Latino immigrants by positioning himself as a champion of that fast-growing ethnic bloc.” [WSJ]

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I-man November 25, 2009 at 6:35 am

Will this be a new index to measure cynicism? Wow.

Johnny Zhivago November 25, 2009 at 7:02 am

Lou Dobbs wants YOU (to get leprosy!!!)

Johnny Zhivago November 25, 2009 at 7:03 am

[re=466212]I-man[/re]: I hear Sarah Palin is planning to reach out to wolves and moose next week.

gurukalehuru November 25, 2009 at 7:04 am

My flabber is well and truly gasted.

doxastic November 25, 2009 at 7:07 am

Some might worry that such a shift would appear to be an act of crass political hypocrisy reaching Liebermanesque levels. Dobbs, however, calmed his advisors fears by explaining to them that Latinos are too lazy, dumb and busy taking our jobs to notice.

memzilla November 25, 2009 at 7:29 am

Pay no attention to that track record behind the curtain!

bonghitsforjesus November 25, 2009 at 7:29 am

What do you expect? He’s an ‘entertainer’ like Glen & Bill etc. He’d fuck a bald eagle on the steps of the capitol if he thought it would get him what he wants.

coffeeyesplease November 25, 2009 at 7:34 am

On related news the grand wizard is considering running for the new york mayoral post.

memzilla November 25, 2009 at 7:40 am

[re=466220]bonghitsforjesus[/re]: He will have to do an Emily Litella of epic proportions, convincing us that he’s actually been concerned all this time about bird flu and the migratory patterns of contagious Accipitridae:

“What’s all this I hear about ill eagle immigrants?”

(If you’re a young whippersnapper, you’ll have to google “Emily Litella”… and then, get off my lawn!)

Mr. Dick Sprinkles November 25, 2009 at 8:02 am

Dobbs/Palin ’12, POPPY! Let’s dump this uppity “cottonpicking” muslin and get a crazy old white racist asshole in the White House for once!!!!!!!111

m_supercomputer November 25, 2009 at 8:13 am

So, he’ll alienate the crazies who actually still like him, *and* immigrants will remember all the awful shit he’s said about them and still hate his guts. Lou is truly a brilliant strategist.

x111e7thst November 25, 2009 at 8:14 am

I guess Lou will never get another sweet sweet blow job from little Tommy Tancredo. So sad.

hunter.blatherer November 25, 2009 at 8:24 am

Poor guy. He’s clearly been intimidated by repeated drive by shootings at his house.

gurukalehuru November 25, 2009 at 8:25 am

Holy WTF – he’s serious.

HuddledMass November 25, 2009 at 8:31 am

“…orange-headed puff dildo.” Oh, Ken, we missed you. You and your alt-text of win.

largefoot November 25, 2009 at 8:55 am

I’ve got the title for his pre-presidential book

“Lou Dobbs: A Lifetime of FAIL
Space.com, CNNFN, Birtherism, and How I Plan to Re-Elect Barack Obama “

timeoutofmind November 25, 2009 at 8:57 am

haven’t read the wsj article, but i’m sure they unblinkingly lapped up whatever was drooling out of lou’s right-wing pie hole.

this is why i’m giving a rat’s ass if news corp takes it’s ahem valuable content out of google.

Dashboard_Buddha November 25, 2009 at 9:02 am

Smoothing the waters…clearing the air: IE Pandering and lying like the malignant piece of dogshit that he is.

Country Club Jihadi November 25, 2009 at 9:05 am

He’d be wise to sell his daughter’s horse, “Pesky Meskin”.

Suds McKenzie November 25, 2009 at 9:18 am

That Giant Sucking Sound is Lou Dobbs Giantly Sucking.

iburl November 25, 2009 at 9:18 am

Every word out of my mouth at CNN was placed there by liberal propagandists. Those bastardos! You should all know that my hispanic wife, goes by the ‘nombre’ Maria, would beat me nightly for those words. Isn’t that punishment enough, amigos?

mumblyjoe November 25, 2009 at 9:38 am

Fun fact: A “Mexican Do-Over” is nothing like what it sounds like. I hope.

Terry November 25, 2009 at 9:45 am

Lou, Lou, Lou. Do you think the Hispanic folks are stupid? That they’ll all be collectively struck with amnesia and forget what you’ve said?

Dude, you are just plain delusional.

RobPetrified November 25, 2009 at 9:46 am

When the 2012 Presidential election comes, The Bitters are going to run Sarah Palin and Ted Nugent.
The People who read People are going to run Oprah.
The Democrats will only have this tired, worn out black man.
Lou Dobbs will be set to pick up votes from people who scream at kids who touch their lawns.

mumblyjoe November 25, 2009 at 9:48 am

[re=466264]Terry[/re]: Not suddenly *struck* with amnesia, no- they just brought 7,000 cases of it over from Mexico.

Paul Tardy November 25, 2009 at 9:48 am

People most screwed by newly arrived illegal immigrants, Oldly arrived illegal immigrants. Actually blacks too. And low born whites that have little choice but to fight for the (black) man in AfPakistan. Joe soy Lou Dobbs candy dato for Senate. I luv it to pieces.

AutomaticPilot November 25, 2009 at 9:49 am

[re=466222]memzilla[/re]: What’s all this talk I keep hearing about Presidential erections? …. what? oh, that’s very different! Never mind!

El Pinche November 25, 2009 at 9:50 am

Yeah, good luck with that Dobbs. And we mescans were hoping you’d run for POTUS so we can take you down like a piñata (filled with poo poo).

Dobbs is a Racist, Never Forget!

Mr Blifil November 25, 2009 at 9:50 am

This is what comes of “spending more time with your (messican) family.”

ella November 25, 2009 at 9:51 am

So because he has an AFTRA card and a big mouth, he’s qualified to hold office? And because the AFTRA card enabled him to be on the teevee — whee! — star-struck wingnuts will vote for him? Next thing you know, he’ll be calling ketchup a vegetable.

RobPetrified November 25, 2009 at 10:02 am

It worked pretty well for Ronald Reagan.

Joshua Norton November 25, 2009 at 10:04 am

In other news, Colonel Saunders is positioning himself as a champion of chickens. He’s still going to chop them up and eat them, but he won’t appear to be as happy about it.

That is all.

WhatTheHeck November 25, 2009 at 10:40 am

Next, he’ll be telling us some of his best friends are Hispanic, black, muslin, etc.

Zadig November 25, 2009 at 10:44 am

The WSJ article ponders whether Dobbs could play a Perot-esque third-party “spoiler” in the 2012 Prez el(r)ections. Oh please god yes, nothing would make me happier than the Teabaggers formally burning the Republican ‘cards’ they used to carry all the time, and rally around this maniac loser. Splitting Romney’s (honestly, who else is it gonna be?) base in half in the process, also.

Come here a minute November 25, 2009 at 10:47 am

He can’t be racist, he married a goddamned spic.

gaterion November 25, 2009 at 10:50 am

HA HA HA HA it’s like he thinks people won’t remember what he did before he changed his mind. This is like Gov. Wallace almost, but I can’t see how Dobbsy is really going to convince people of that.

forgracie November 25, 2009 at 11:04 am

You only hurt the ones you love….

Berkeley Bear November 25, 2009 at 11:14 am

In related news, Romney wants folks to know he really supports gay rights and is pro-choice, but only when he’s running in blue states. In red states he’s against those things and wants to quadruple the size of Gitmo for throwing in gays, gypsies and all other undesirables.

Palin has now announced (to those who read Mother Jones) that she’s swearing off meat forever and enrolling in a PhD program in the humanities and political philosophy at the Sorbonne. Except when in the South – there she’ll continue to be the official spokesgal for home schooling, Wal-Martians and possum pot pie.

house of the blue lights November 25, 2009 at 11:14 am

[re=466222]memzilla[/re]: Never mind!

WarAndG November 25, 2009 at 11:15 am

America, let’s help Lou celebrate his current mid-life crisis. (Why is this jagoff even in our stream of consciousness? He reads a teleprompter and hates stuff. I can do that.)

teebob2000 November 25, 2009 at 11:45 am

Ken, why are you guys linking to Onion articles? You’re supposed to find fappery and stupidity in the MSM news outlets, aren’t you? Not intentionally funny parody news. Now you’re not even trying; is it because of the upcoming holiday?

teebob2000 November 25, 2009 at 11:47 am

[re=466344]teebob2000[/re]: Holy fuck! WSJ?? My bad.

Never mind. Happy holiday.

AutomaticPilot November 25, 2009 at 11:55 am

[re=466321]Berkeley Bear[/re]: did she ever actually finish undergrad?

whiskey tango foxtrot November 25, 2009 at 12:05 pm

This takes some serious cojones.

Accordion-o-rama November 25, 2009 at 12:20 pm

Well now we know why he quit CNN. Clearly he couldn’t be all positive toward Hispanics on a nationally televised TV show.

McDuff November 25, 2009 at 12:49 pm

You know the old Vulcan proverb — Only Nixon could go to China. Maybe this is a case of “Only Lou can solve the illegal immigrant issue.”

And if you believe Lou is being Nixonian, I’ve got a bridge in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you.

El Pinche November 25, 2009 at 1:11 pm

[re=466309]Come here a minute[/re]: And Rush can’t be racist, his production manager is black! That’s my wingnut dad says all the time when he’s constantly defending Rush’s racism and racial parodies.

Extemporanus November 25, 2009 at 1:14 pm

Ken, I sincerely hope that you’re in Hawai’i or Tahiti or something, because 3:27 a.m. is absolutely no time to be thinking and posting about Lou Dobbs, dead or otherwise.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, try doing something less harmful, like smoking, drinking, or cruising for Mexican tranny hookers in unlit interstate rest stop bathrooms, or something.

AnnieGetYourFun November 25, 2009 at 1:16 pm

Looks like someone has been drinking the tamarindo-flavored Kool-Aid. Don’t let them messicans lie to you, Dobbs! They really DO want to shoot up your house and mow your lawn and stuff.

Aurelio November 25, 2009 at 1:41 pm

Lou Dobbs’ wife Debi is a Mexican. What more do you guys want? Should he marry another Mexican? Leave Lou alone! (Sob.)

problemwithcaring November 25, 2009 at 1:51 pm

[re=466231]hunter.blatherer[/re]: That was good.

Lionel Hutz Esq. November 25, 2009 at 1:55 pm

This is the most cunning of political plans since Hitler decided to show that he was a friend to the Jews by getting them all to take a shower.

thesheriffisnear November 25, 2009 at 2:26 pm

Lou Dobbs is a FAT, fat man.

LowerdPeninsula November 26, 2009 at 1:21 am

This announcement is just plain repugnant and offensive, as if he’s literally shouting “fuck you” into the air at all of the Mexicans he’s disparaged over his entire life.

Needless to say, I’m waiting to hear him utter “but I have a Mexican wife.” You know it’s coming.

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