Wonkette
Celebrated chief birther and dentist-lawyer Orly Taitz held a protest outside the Fox News building in New York City today, for publicity. Supposedly Bill O’Reilly called the birthers crazy, and this was very offensive to Orly Taitz. Approximately four people showed up for the protest! Here’s Orly talking to a nice fellow from Africa. CAPTION CONTEST. [Gawker]
Orly auditioning for her first pimp.
Me love you long time. Ten dollah!
Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say about the way you people are… gifted?
“Did your family know the Obamas in Africa?”
“Are birth certificates common in Africa, assuming you have paper there?”
“Are you interested in rental property or a new crown?”
I’ll show you mine if you show me yours. Birth certificate, that is.
“Ooooh, it’s twoo, it’s twoo!”
How much for back door?
Damn C.C. DeVille, you lookin fine.
Also, from the Fox internal memo,”If you have any questions or concerns, please contact Corporate Security Manager Lee Boody through the Security Operations Center at [redacted].”
First Fox News Boody call since O’Reilly-to-Andrea Mackris.
Show it me ur long form, Africa mans.
Orly was born Orlando. It’s a MAN baby!
“Nice to meet you, Oily. I’m Ashey.”
How do I know? They used BLUE INK on its birth certificate. LONG form.
this is my Lady KaKa outfit!
Excuse me Mr. Negro, you appear to be from Africa…perhaps you could help me. Do you remember when the Obama family brought little Barack Hussein home from the hospital?
“It’s a sexy look, but if you wear the shoulder strap diagonally across your chest like mine the strap presses between your breasts and makes your breasts seem to stick out more and that turns on the guys.”
Taitz estimated the crowd as “somewhere between four and 45,000.”
That’s pronounced “Oily Taint!”
“I swear it’s only my hair that’s fake.”
“I loved you in Green Acres, but damn, Zsa-Zsa, when did you take the crazy train to Hooterville?”
Human studies exotic, frightening animal.
“How much can I get for 26 dollars, man? I’m really hurtin’ bad…”
I met Barack Obama’s brother outside the Fox News building, he looked just like him! But he refused to show me his birth certificate! I’m filing a lawsuit against him.
Well…[struggling to find something positive to say], at least she ain’t fat, right??
“You think I can’t piss that far? Like they say, girl, always bet on black.”
Wait-so is Oily Taintz an operative in Obama’s war on Fox? Now I’m really confused.
The Palin Pal’s protest against Letterman was a lot more entertaining than this whimper. I guess no one told Orly that in NYC, people don’t show up unless there’s a caterer.
“Birth certificate? Yeah, I got your birth certificate right here white beeyotch!”
“no, no, sing a real song, like Camptown Races”
“That lady looks pretty much rode hard and put up wet…..but damn, I like those boots.”
Perhaps a career move is in the offing for Orly? It would be a nice change to have stupid things cumming into her mouth than comimg out of it.
“I’m sorry Miz Taitz, but you’ve destroyed your credibility in the media, become a persona non grata in every court in the land, incurred $20,000 in fines for frivolous lawsuits and even your clients deny having anything to do with you. Anyone who’s fucked herself that much doesn’t need what I have to offer.”
“Choo look jes like our yoosryper ‘Prezident’, are choo related? Deed choo know him in Afrika?”
Oily Taints:
Quick–they’re hiring over at The Washington Times!!
“Kanye was bein polite, bitch. I ain’t gonna let you finnish.”
“I swear I am Khazakstan’s #2 whore and 100% free of diseases.”
SayItWithWookies: Okay, we have our new (old?) champion.
Tammy Wynette returns from the dead and asks for directions to Filene’s Basement.
“I’ll let you be once I see your birth certificate. I know your type.”
“I didn’t know they made those boots in mens sizes.”
There is not enough cold cream in the world to remove the layers and layers on that woman’s face. I weep for her pores.
No, man! Not her! Not her! She pees standing up! She pees standing up!
“I would stroke your funny hair, but I’m afraid the colour might rub off on me” - er, that’s the black dude saying that, by the way….
(This is off-topic. I just think it’s a great poem for today.)
Group Four
We’ll have our small white crosses by and by,
Our cool, green lawns, our well-spaced, well-cared trees,
Our antique cannons, muzzles to the sky,
Our statutes and our flowers and our wreathes.
We’ll have our bold-faced bronze and copper plaques
To tell in stirring words of that we saved
And who we were, with names and dates; our stacks
Of silent rifles, spaced between the graves.
We’ll have our country’s praise, here below
They’ll make a shrine of this small bit of hell
For wide-eyed tourists; and so a few will know
And those who know will be the last to tell
The wordless suffering of our lives as slaves,
Our squalid deaths beneath this dripping sky.
The stinking tangle of our common graves.
We’ll have our small white crosses by and by.
Lt. Henry G. Lee, USA, POW
Written on Bataan on Armistice Day, Nov. 11,1943.
[Lee was an American POW of Our Current Good Friends, the Japanese. He died after the ship on which he was being transferred, from the Phillipines to Japan, was bombed and sunk.)
P.S. Anyone want to contribute to a fund to have this engraved on a large marble tablet to be delivered to Rusbo, Hannity or BillO?
Delivered, as in “strapped to a JADAMS guidence package, and dropped from about 30,000 ft.”?
The donation line forms to the left. No pushing, please.
Neilist: ORLY IZZAT YOU!?!?
“Yes, I did get your e-mail about the inheritance, Mr. Minister of Banking, but I’ve been so busy with lawyer-dentist-real estate stuff that I haven’t really had time to reply.”
The question is, will FOX News cut away to file footage of VE Day to show how big her protest was?
AbstinenceOnly Ed: Today, we are all Orly.
guess who’s not coming to dinner.
Neilist: No, just you.
You can buy anything on the streets of NYC. If you’re not into fake Rolexes, 3-card monty or faux Gucci purses, there is no doubt a nice BLACK market in BIRF CERTIFICEATES
“Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen… I apologize for the intrusion …But the President of the United States…well, he is a Black man…an African, to be exact…What I mean to say is this country is being run by a tall, lanky and sexually mesmerizing Negro. Anything you can do, even if it’s just a prayer, please … I’m not ashamed to take food, dental referrals, even $20,000 in cash, so please, anything you have … God bless you … and thank you.”
Scarab: You’re quoting Mrs. “One L” Bachmann, Sheer “Am I An Idiot?” InSannity and the rest of the right wing gasbags? I’ve been told the crowd was between 20 and 45,000…
“Performance Artist amuses public outside Fox News”
That’s not a protest. That’s an amateurtest. Where are the signs? Where’s the crazy?
Guess I can see the crazy, huh? She’s standing there wondering what our President is doing in New York City all by himself.
Neilist: That’s a great poem — it would be a shame to waste it on those bastards. I’d pay to beat them over the heads with some Longfellow, if that’s not redundant.
NYC - the city that never sleeps. She doesn’t look like she gets a whole lot of rest, either…
The birther movement continues to spawn these unruly protesting whores.
“Excuse me, kind sir, but what’s the 4-1-9?”
“Surprise RuPaul Appearance Strikes Fear Into Heart of Local African Man”
SayItWithWookies: Wide stance = Shortfellow.
Orly Taitz commemerates Veterans’ Day by visiting the Memorial for Facts who died in Foreign Wars
I’m just psyched because Wonkette finally made it onto my “Most Visited” menu on Firefox. Woohoo!
OMG, The NYT Media Decoder blog is reporting that Lou Dobbs is quitting CNN!
Extemporanus: Ashy Taint! Ashy, ashy, ashy!
(Sorry, but that was driving me nuts…)
I think if we learned anything from this caption contest, it’s that Blazing Saddles is deeply ingrained into our culture.
“Usurper Barack Hussein Obama, I am making citizen’s arrest!”
Oily: “Hey baby, show me your long form.”
Dusty Springfield joins the Mod Squad!
Neilist: I’m down with that, bro.’
“No, no ma’am, I don’t carry it on me, I keep it safe at home. The last thing you’d want to do is lose your bird certificate just carrying it around like that.”
that which does not exist cannot be shut down
“Meester Tall Black Man, stop interrupt! Am looking for someone with camera to let me finish. Let Me Finish! All every things would be OK if people only LET ME FINISH!!!”
Lou Dobbs to FOX in 5, 4, 3….
Car coat with rabbit fur lined hood, check.
Platinum hair, check.
Pale pink frosted lipstick, check.
Heavy black eye makeup, check.
Wait! Where are the white, patent leather go-go boots? I call bullshit on her try for a 1964 White Trash vintage look.
keepinitrealyo:
Orly: “They said you was hung.”
Anonymous Black dude: “And they was right.”
Thought bubble over Oily Taint’s head “If I had just put that banana in my purse, I bet I could get him to go away.”
“Excuse me little girl, are you lost?”
OzoneTom: hockeymom: Isn’t Carlson Tucker starting a web site? Or since Oprah is trying to start her own cable channel maybe the ‘real Americans’ have one in the works–with Dobbs as the anchor?
Via The Hill’s blog or some shit:
Pundit Tucker Carlson publicly announced Tuesday that a right-leaning news site resembling the Huffington Post he’s been planning will go live within weeks.
Carlson will launch TheDailyCaller.com, which he said would focus on reporting on the Obama administration and “adding facts to the conversation.”
Wait WAIT a meenoot…I am not feeneeshed…O..O…Obama is from Keeeeenya od like there inz Africa..Wait…let me feeneesh! I…I…I iz crazy Beetch!!
“Smoke? Smoke? What you need? Got it right here. Smoke?”
I still don’t get it. Why is Oily protesting in front of Faux Newdz? I thought they were um, you know, friends with benefits.
Look, it’s just physics.
Topological interactions will be generated in theories with compact extra dimensions where fermionic chiral zero modes have different localizations. This is the case in many warped extra dimension models where the right-handed top quark is typically localized away from the left-handed one. Using deconstruction techniques, we study the topological interactions in these models. These interactions appear as trilinear and quadrilinear gauge boson couplings in low energy effective theories with three or more sites, as well as in the continuum limit. We derive the form of these interactions for various cases, including examples of Abelian, non-Abelian and product gauge groups of phenomenological interest. The topological interactions provide a window into the more fundamental aspects of these theories and could result in unique signatures at the Large Hadron Collider, some of which we explore. We also show that it is generally not possible to have stable KK-mode dark matter candidates in these scenarios owing to the violation of KK parity by the topological interactions.
In other words, Orly has buttsecks with the African, but he doesn’t call her back.
OzoneTom:
http://mediadecoder.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/11/lou-dobbs-to-depart-cnn/
speaking of crazy birthers. But that’s ok, Dobbs will be replaced by Juan Valdez who will be paid nightly in cash and work twice as long.
Dobbs claims his show tonight on CNN will be his last. Should be a hoot!
chascates: Shorter Carlson: OK, fine, I admit it, no one will hire me anymore.
INVISIBLE PENIS, INVADIN’ UR SPACE
Now do you people understand why Anchor Wolfenstein and Yessica Gellin’ acted so coy about having fucked around with Maria Juanita yesterday?
Doing da damn doob done got dat dope Dobbs dumped, dawg!
Extemporanus: Wow, that’s some mighty fancy illiteration.
chascates: Oh yes, he pulled a Palin.
OzoneTom: He’s going to Fox fo sho.
Click: Danke, dahhhling.
It was an homage to the straight “Ds” Dobbs got in “J” school.
Dobbs to open Bed and Breakfast in Vermont!
chascates: He’s going to get up out of his chair, go to the window and yell out “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore” or something?
rafflesinc: NY Post: Bitter Quitter in One-Hitter Shitter!
steverino247: Dobbs is no Howard Beale, believe me.
Extemporanus: PC Gobs Rob Dobbs of Job!
I think it’s pretty obvious CNN traded Lou Dobbs to Fox for Shep Smith and a future first round draft pick.
Cherry Garcia: Do NOT fuck with Juan Valdez. You would rather have Los Zetas, the Sinaloa Cartel and the ghost of Pablo Escobar on your ass than the Federación Nacional de Cafeteros de Colombia.
user-of-owls: Doobie Birther Takin’ It to the Streets!
Haha, that is two blocks away from my office. I always look to see if Sean Hannity is putzing around over there, but the bitch never comes outside.
BE ADVISED THE ABOVE WAS NOT AN ENTRY FOR THE CAPTION CONTEST
Keepin it simple:
http://cheezburger.com/View.aspx?aid=2830970624
Extemporanus: CNN To Get Leaner By Weaning Anti-Beaner Preener!
taylormattd: Win.
Anyway, my attempts:
1. Hyou wanting be plaintiff?
2. Can be selling to you the Central Park very cheap.
3. Da. I still hearing the voices.
4. You cop? Nyet. You are too, how is saying, good dressed.
“Fetch me more mascara and I will not have you deported with yoosurfer.”
OzoneTom: Dobbs saw the chupacabra and is leaving CNN in order to armor plate his outhouse.
Lou, it was only Bill Richardson.
I’m just a skank
waiting for my man
Twenty-six dollars in my hand
Mustang: Win
“Hmmm, it does sound like a weave is more durable than a wig. Thank’s for the advice.”
keepinitrealyo: Meet me in my dwessing womb?
Neilist:
Randall Jarrell (1945)
The Death of the Ball Turret Gunner
From my mother’s sleep I fell into the State,
And I hunched in its belly till my wet fur froze.
Six miles from earth, loosed from its dream of life,
I woke to black flak and the nightmare fighters.
When I died they washed me out of the turret with a hose.
“For ze last time, I am not selling tickets to The Rocky Horror Picture Show!”
Oily: “Darling, I love you, but give me Park Avenue.”
Guy: “Shut up bitch.”
Daddy’s worst nightmare…
S.Luggo: Win:
I’ve always questioned the sanitized terrorism of aerial bombing.
A little Zen and homage to Howard Zinn….ty
Great Old Ones Party: It did practically write itself, didn’t it?
“It’s and extra fiddy if you want to use a ballgag…”
Orly Taitz: “You must show me your birth certificate to ride all of this.”
**said moving an open palm up and down her body as seductively as a crazy can**
Has anyone ever seen her without her make-up and wig? What does she really look like?
No, I’m not Sean Hannity in drag!
AbstinenceOnly Ed: “It’s a MAN baby!”
WIN
BeWoot: No, the nuts are all rivals and often enemies! Oily Tits undoubtedly blames Fucked-in-the-Head News for the failure of Americans to take her seriously and replace Obama with a Russian from Moldavia….
Things will be very different in the new economy. Case in point: New York street beggars.
Oh dear, I thought FOX studios was a double wide.
Yes, Greta, I am standing here with a real Nigerian Prince who has assured me that as soon as I wire $30,000 to his bank account he will provide me with Barack HUSSEIN Obama’s real birth certificate!
The Little Rock: Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!
I took another look at that photo this morning and from her eyes (what you can see of them) and his stance it sure looks like the gentleman is asking her “Would you like to say a few words to the folks?”
Wonkett! This Orly thing is getting to be like kicking a stupid puppy around.
Darkness: Some of us wouldn’t actually know what that’s like.
She’s saying “I’m just waiting for the camera’s to show up, any minute now….any minute….yeah, real soon…..”
She is waiting for Lou Dobbs. It’s all in the boots.
zhubajie: http://www.flickr.com/photos/25760681@N07/4098689982/
Click: First? Hah, no way.
“I’m not a racist. I have lots of negroid friends. Like that strapping buck that stopped me on the street the other day.”
Careful dude - take one more step and it’s going to trigger her fight or flight response.
“Oily Taint”–I’m just sayin’ . . .
We’re all Russians from Moldova today.
“Meester Obama! You finally agreeed to deebate mee in a public forum! Say, iz zaht ze long form birf certificate in your pocket or are you just glahd to zee mee?”
God bless Orly Taitz, a courageous woman, from all the rabid dogs barking at her who hate our Constitution and those who seek to uphold it.
DavidBenDoingMescaline
In an ironic twist, Orly’s new career change has her clients teller HER to “open wide.”