Read this whole thing. [Sarah Palin's Accomplishments via Blue Gal]
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{ 190 comments }
http://sarahs-accomplishments.blogspot.com, can I buy some pot from you?
Under what category on her resume does she list:
“Fisted Ghost Reagan’s Nose”
They snubbed Trig! Why do they hate her special needs baby (ie, America) so much?
Dear god, Jim. If you’re gonna bait us with effluvium like that at least be considerate and offer up a coupon for some Maalox or Pepto Bismol please. Some of us are eating lunch right now. Ugh.
Are the captions meant to be above or below the images? Either way, it makes no sense.
Also, which one of those captions represents the “Center-Left” perspective?
Damn it Jim you know I can’t read!
This is satire, right?
RIGHT?!?
Palin/Al from Quantum Leap 2012!
The death of McCain-Palin 2008 was the birth of Sarah 2012…
PLEASE to add Michele Bachmann to this fantasy!
“The world will tremble beneath her sonic boom…”
Those moose farts are the WORST.
Wow…just fucking wow. What really makes it wonderful is that there are no actual “accomplishments” in the sense that speakers of English use that term. I had to go back and look again at the blog’s title.
Are you sure that’s Ronald Reagan toasting her? Because it kind of looks like Dean Martin. Which is distrubing, because I’d probably vote for anyone who was toasted by the ghost of Dean Martin. Those are my standards.
So as far as I could tell, there were no accomplishments, just really shitty captioning. Hmmm. And for that matter- what sort of insurance coverage will we have for the “sonic boom” we’re all gonna feel?
[re=454103]depraved indifference engine[/re]: Everything but the header is center-left. It’s not just lousy HTML, though that’s part of it.
These comments remind me of the opening lines of Zena Warrior Princess.
Does anyone really think Sarah herself wrote the word “façade” ?
Resurrected Jedi Reagan like at the end of Return of The Jedi? That’s a pretty good accomplishment, actually.
Excelsior! (Yeah, I read the whole thing. Do I get a cookie?)
The most absurd thing I’ve read in a long time WTF?
Remember when Sarah was just Wonkette’s favorite GILF? Simpler times.
[re=454110]PsycGirl[/re]: I read it “sonic bosom” at first.
::tenting fingers a la Mr. Burns::
Excellent.
holy living fuck. it’s like Family Circus with the ghostly grandpa Reagan.
Sarah Palin and Zombie Reagan vs. the Decepticons, 2012!
So, she’s going to smash everything in her wake? How do you make that look good in your campaign literature?
“…she is laser polished.”
Indeed.
Charizard, I choose you!
<i..Followed by a High-G Vertical Climb…because she can…
Sarah and Carrie Prejean, hitting the high-G because they can!
I’d go vertical with her.
Are you sure this isn’t satire? Between the ridiculous talking points, the constant fawning over both Palin and Reagan’s corpse, and those images, it can’t be real.
I see by “Dudes,” Jim, you literally meant men, as in only those who want to make a high-G vertical climb up her alimentary canal or otherwise thrust their Excalibur into her tree.
Pink wallpaper aside, that’s some high testosterone shit in there.
[re=454123]Airborne Toxic Event[/re]: Sarah Palin is John Galt Painting Galt’s Gulch
If this is porn, I don’t like it.
She’s bone-ified!
Dear Wonkette Editors,
Thank you for making me dumber by suggesting I read that list.
Also.
Palin/Beck in ’12!!!!!! (Also!)
That’s Bill Kristol’s favorite porn site, I’m betting.
Excelsior!
When I was in high school, I did some weird shit to impress girls that I wanted to bone. If Jesus had given me teh internets back then, I probably would have built a website like this for each lucky girl.
[re=454110]PsycGirl[/re]: Maybe that’s because she’s got the same moveset as Guile? Remember the debates; Palin: “Sonic Boom!” Biden: “Yoga Flame” “Yoga Fire!”
Sarah was in the Marines? Who knew?
Look how she drives the Ghost of Reagan to drink.
She is also a blacksmith and accomplished fighter pilot, apparently. She and Ice-Man started out as rivals, but then became friends.
[re=454144]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Needs more fisting.
Knife SMASH Reagan! Was that the point of this? Oh, and something about a huge wet fart.
All this site needs is a few shots of Edward Cullen to make it the perfect slash fic.
Where was the crying eagle/WTC image?
[re=454135]JMP[/re]: Sweet Zombie Reagan, there’s a “FARK IT” link.
Needs more lasers.
There is actually one bit of accuracy in terms of accomplishments, right there in the post title:
She did give birth to a re…..
“The world will tremble beneath her sonic boom…”
Uh, I got nothing.
I think the scariest part was on one of the links posted on the site, check out this “warning”:
1 COMMENTS:
Hipple, Rev. Paul T. said…
I will pray for Gov Mother Sarah Palin’s safety, especially in Grand Rapids, since there are more islamists living in Grand Rapids than anywhere else west of Mecca. Let’s hope Obama isn’t in charge of security for that visit.
NOVEMBER 9, 2009 12:00 PM
[re=454151]JMP[/re]: WTF? Obama = Dhalsim, of course. Biden = Zangief, obvs.
Another important thing she’s done – and I’m surprised this didn’t make it into that very infomative post – was serve up Levi’s sweet nekkid Playgirl spread on a faux china platter. I, for one, and looking forward to the publication of this cultural record with the greatest anticipation.
Thank you, Saracuda, for making your knocked-up adoescent daughter’s babbydaddy a figure of lust and ridicule the world round! My penis thanks you too. I mean, also.
Great. Now I’m insane.
Epic suck
I need to update my resume to include erroneous references to mythology as accomplishments.
B,b,but what about the troops!?
SITE DISCLAIMER AND INFORMATION
This site is not endorsed, authorized or operated by Governor Palin, her staff, or any other candidate or committee… but it is written by her. (Except maybe the word “circuitous.”)
Does Reagan get to finish in her mouth, or does she just jerk him off?
Birth of Sarah 2012? Could there still be opposition to abortion now?
Arggh! The site is crashing and won’t let me on!
V572625694: The only accomplishment on the thing was the demise of McCain/Palin 2008!
I enjoyed the obscure prog-rock album cover at the start.
this is like in the new dvd version of return of the jedi where hayden christiansen got superimposed over whoever that other dude was while ewoks danced to some horrible new jammy jam instead of the original life-affirming nugget. only so much worse. so, so, so much worse.
Where are the blingee bananas jumping up and down and holding the “penis” signs?
A good opening line for any serious resume would be: “The world will tremble beneath my sonic boom!”
I gotta say, the blogroll on that thing is an unending carnival of horror and insanity! Jim, you could serve up one site a day from that list, and we’d be busy (or institutionalized) well into the new year -
[re=454176]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Epic Suck is right. And check out *this* tasty lick: http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=169376258434
If Sarah gets to be the first woman president of the US that woman married to Bill Clinton is going to need a hug.
[re=454189]Gorillionaire[/re]: God bless Roger Dean!
What you don’t see in that photo, if you’d pan down, is holographic Yoda, nodding approvingly.
[re=454142]shadowMark[/re]: Damn! I’d paint her vault. (Jesus, here comes the self-loathing again.)
That image is very disturbing. I wish you’d have chosen something else. I realize that it’s a shameful part of American history that we should never forget, but it’s too much.
Why does the last photo show a large phallic object running up through her body through the top of her head?
Just askin’.
Many of these images are stolen from the Marine Corps, a well known socialized government establishment with an unknown amount of membership overlap with ACORN. Why has Sarah Palin not come out and denied these ties to child prostitutiuon and black people?
I had no idea Ronald Reagan played Slimer in GhostBusters…thats pretty cool..
The season for gathering psilocybin mushrooms once again comes to an end. It’s good to see that Sarah’s hunter/gatherer friends have had a successful harvest. Now let them wander off to follow the caribou herds.
[re=454152]thesheriffisnear[/re]: yeah, seriously. that’s just a bunch of screen shots from a recruiting commercial, no? At least they could have gotten some grabs from Private Benjamin…
All joking aside, I would be worried. It appears Sarah Palin has become a cyborg-jet piloted by the ghost of Ronald Reagan.
HENNGHcelsior!!
There’s even more idiocy elsewhere on the site, that also seems too bad to be real. For one:
“This story comes from the United Kingdom, which has some of the poorest health care in the civilized world. The people are at their wit’s end, and the country is trying to figure out how to get away from their public system, their government controlled behemoth, and revert back to a system that makes sense.”
Nope, no not at all. Even the hard right in the UK loves the public system, and has told American cons to stop trashing it.
The author also credits Palin with giving a 28-point boost to Doug Hoffman with a single Facebook post. Well, that turned out well, didn’t it?
[re=454103]depraved indifference engine[/re]: No, the center-left stuff is here:
This Chicago street thug communist “community organizer” has America on a path of certain destruction. Economic and social destruction. His communistic plans to change America from a Constitutional Republic to a communist dictatorship are well on their way. Once Obama and his democrat/communist party gain control of our health care system, it’s all over. They will have complete and total control of America. Congress itself will became irrelevant as everything will be run from the White House by Czars and other unelected, unconstitutional usurpers.
It’s a veritable cavalcade of facts and reason.
[re=454110]PsycGirl[/re]: They’re nowhere near as bad as her moose queefs.
A two-foot ruminant cock can only fill so big of a cavity, ya know.
Dear God, look at the contributors– a real live actual “black conservative,” a “Jewish mother” who who refers to Obama as Obamanajid and talks of a “second Holocaust,” a feminist PUMA, and somebody who says that they are “a born-again Christian who is madly in love with the Lord Jesus Christ.”
It’s a self-hating black man, a self-hating Jew, a self-hating feminist, and somebody who masturbates to Christian-rock music.
[re=454199]shadowMark[/re]: Yep, if by “need a hug” you mean “become seriously homicidal”.
[re=454168]bhosp[/re]: Nah; Obama’s Ryu. McCain is Blanka, of course.
The best part is looking at the live feed at the bottom of the page and seeing how many visitors (myself included) arrived at that site via the wonkette link. I saw my own podunk town listed on there, and wondered which of my wingnut neighbors was perusing Sarah’s Greek idol page, and was somewhat shocked to discover it was myself.
[re=454211]Voyou Charmant[/re]: Don’t you know, Air Force One is haunted by GhostReagan, who wanders the aisles asking for “Mommy” (Nancy) and muttering about funding for Central American death squads.
Looks like a typical PUMA website.
[re=454216]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You know, I remember when Bush was President, hearing an awful lot of Republicans (tired of having Bush criticized) talking about “respecting the office of the President.” (For example: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122584386627599251.html)
How times have changed.
[re=454151]JMP[/re]: So, is Obama Zangief (the socialism) or Balrog (the melanin)? I’d go with the flying powerbomb over the buffalo headbutt, but then again, I have pinko sympathies.
My inner plane geek is weeping.
This is condensation riding a bow shock from actually, you know, traveling faster than the speed of sound. This is just some flashy wing condensation that makes the spectators at airshows “ooh” and “ahh.”
This is not this, and if the Teabaggers actually believed in, y’know, fucking science education, then maybe we could create jobs that don’t involve flipping burgers!
[re=454158]Hooray For Anything[/re]: She can’t use the Crying Eagle/WTC image, because Rudy Giuliani trademarked it.
That’s…..an insult. Which Junior High School kid from Wasila put that web incoherency together? Gotta be one of the 10 worst on the web. Simply awful.
[re=454218]Hooray For Anything[/re]: I’m actually pretty sure they are all lying sock puppets.
[re=454121]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Dang! I even looked over the comments to avoid a joke repeat…comic literacy fail.
[re=454228]SnarkyMark[/re]: …but now they say “Well, YOU guys did it when Bush was in office….”. So that makes it ok.
Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, please make it stop!
Best defense of Sarah Palin, and perhaps the only one with actual arguments, I have read:
Hockey moms and capital markets
By Spengler
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Global_Economy/JJ07Dj07.html
Wingnuts please use the atimes article as a model, thanks.
The continued reverence of Sarah Palin by middle-aged white women is evidence of an epidemic: repressed lesbianism in America.
Palin (in the role of Maverick) and Michele Bachmann (playing Viper) re-enact a scene from “Top Gun” using disturbingly few Mad Lib style edits:
Viper (aka Bachmann): I flew with your old running mate. VF-51, the Walnut. You’re a lot like he was. Only better… and worse. He was a natural heroic son of a bitch that one.
Maverick (aka Palin): So he did do it right.
Viper: Yeah, he did it right… Is that why you campaign the way you do? Trying to prove something? Yeah, your old running mate did it right. What I’m about to tell you is classified. It could end my career. We were in the worst dogfight I ever dreamed of. There were bogeys like fireflies all over the sky. His campaign bus was hit, and he was wounded, but he could’ve made it back. He stayed in it, saved three planes before he bought it.
Maverick: How come I never heard that before?
Viper: Well, that’s not something the State Department tells dependents when the battle occurred over the wrong line on some map.
Maverick: So you were there?
Viper: I was there. What’s on your mind?
Maverick: My options, sir.
Viper: Simple. First you’ve acquired enough points to show up tomorrow and graduate with your Top Gun class, or you can quit. There’d be no disgrace. That spin was hell, it would’ve shook me up.
Maverick: So you think I should quit?
Viper: I didn’t say that. The simple fact is you feel responsible for Baby Trig and you have a confidence problem. Now I’m not gonna sit here and blow sunshine up your ass, Lieutenant. A good pilot is compelled to evaluate what’s happened, so he can apply what he’s learned. Up there, we gotta push it. That’s our job. It’s your option, Lieutenant. All yours.
Reagan hurling crippled infant against column: http://www.reagan.utexas.edu/archives/photographs/large/c33495-15.jpg
She certainly has taken quitting to new heights, with her lazierlike focus, and what not.
She never realized the gift she gave us: Snarkyo — limitless buffoonery
“Never again” was a good start but it went downhill from there.
Why is she putting her hand up Reagan’s nose in that photo? And forged and laser-sharpened to do what? Quit?
Well, that made my little fighter pilot happy. I’ll be taking a nap now.
Hey look! Witness WTC JUMPER used to promote America’s favorite snow-billy-half-term-quitter governor.
http://draftpalin2012.blogspot.com/2009/09/911f-critical-lessons-for-america.html
Wow wingnuts have no fucking shame.
Thanks for the linky love, Jim honey. xoxoxo
Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
“Defeat can lead to victory; progress may be circuitous, not in a straight line”
Don’t you love the way he adds “not in a straight line” after “circuitous?” In case you don’t know what the word “circuitous” means? Or “dictionary?”
Nice picture of toast. Never knew that Aricept came in liquid form.
I actually met this guy at when Palin spoke at a fundraiser for a organization that has group homes for retarded adults. He was around 25 and he could have easily passed for one of the “clients”. I was helping a friend out with a video shoot (long story) and he was in the “press row”. He definately was special ed, might have been ADHD. The event was at a catering hall and Sarah & Todd walked across the “wedding bridge”. I think he creamed in his pants when Sarah got close. I have pictures of the event at:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2011751&id=1372716181&l=1b42dbce95. The Sarah’s accomplishment guy is the in picture one to the right with a soon to be emerging bald spot. The AP reporter in picture 3 was also fawning, but I was willing to overlook because she was hot and stupid. A great combination in my book.
[re=454224]HedonismBot[/re]: agreed – the live feed hypmotized me. It was kinda thrilling to see all the wonketteers pouring in.
Excelsior!
I’m serious, you guys, take a look at that blogroll, I almost snorted a pretzel up my nose (is that redundant?)
The Knights of Palin
The Palination
GOP Thinker
PalinVision
Team Sarah Conservative Voice
The Book of Sarah
Palin Twibe
Half Baked Sourdough
Moms 4 Sarah Palin
Moms For Life
Moms for Sarah Palin
Inspiration Sarah
Isn’t It Rich
House of Eratosthenes
[re=454274]answerbird[/re]: Thanks for ruining my image of Dave Mason. What the HELL was he doing there?
Previously I mentioned it was a high-testosterone site, but must correct myself after having seen this in the “Morale Building” section, targeting the estrogen-rich: “For the Ladies: How to do Sarah’s Complete Beehive Up-Do and Partial Up-Do”: And so inspiring a new generation of ’60s-mindset women to wear retro hairstyles…another Sarah accomplishment!
[re=454244]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: It was very sad the scene where McCain died trying to punch out of Sarah’s electoral tailspin. She got over it, though, and went on to fulfill her dreams. Except in this version of the movie, no one tried to talk her out of quitting.
[re=454274]answerbird[/re]: Is the guy in the gray suit about eat Palin’s brains? He must be on a “portion control” diet.
Defeat can lead to victory; progress may be circuitous, not in a straight line
Sure. Just ask Erick Erickson.
[re=454262]WarAndG[/re]: Well, it makes sense that she knows the true lessons of 9/11 as she was living in Alaska at the time and Alaska was severely affected by it.
[re=454292]CapnFatback[/re]: Rock salt to you, sir!
[re=454262]WarAndG[/re]: That’s truly insane.
They/it used “laser polished” next to a pic of Alzheimer Ronnie? wow, also.
[re=454150]rmontcal[/re]: As the female recipient of some awkward gestures by high school guys looking to
boneimpress me (when I, too, was in high school), let’s just say you’re lucky that your silly days predate the Web. Occasionally a guy’s sincere attempts at impressing a girl can end up scaring her instead. A Web page like this might be an example. Admiration’s one thing; obsession’s another.Acourse, there’s no way of knowing the sex or age of the
sycophantadmirer who created thismonstermasterpiece.[re=454144]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: “If this is love, I want my money back.”
[re=454279]snideinplainsight[/re]: What the fuck? The Knights of Palin? Can that be serious? Naw, it’s gotta be snark. Either that or some 14 year old entranced by her beehive hairdo and the fact that she likes guns, too.
[re=454283]chascates[/re]: It’s not exactly like he is playing the garden anymore. I think they might have actually booked him before Sarah. He actually sat at her table at dinner along with Peter King, one of two Republican Congressman from NY. I would have loved to sit at that table!
Are we sure that the whole thing isn’t a joke?
On purpose, I mean.
[re=454264]Blue Gal[/re]: He likes your glasses.
[re=454245]S.Luggo[/re]: I thought it was his Bela Lugosi impersonation.
[re=454118]J. Robert Oppenheiner[/re]: With the cedilla and everything? No. Or non, if you like.
[re=454210]Crank Tango[/re]: I wanna wear my sandals…I wanna go out to lunch. Somehow it is not difficult imagining our Sarah saying these lines.
Captain Lewis: What’s your name princess…
Sarah: Sa-rah
[re=454288]S.Luggo[/re]: He’s head of IGHL, they sold double the amount of tickets they normally sell … he’s counting the money in his head.
From the list:
Akomppleshmint No. 13:
–Naming her new book after a British slang term for unprotected anal sex.
The fuck was that shit?
Hey, one of the ‘authors’ is Dee Reynolds. I guess next week’s Alway’s Sunny will be “The Gang builds a retarded webpage.”
The one thing these small minds do well is maudlin.
[re=454203]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: OK, every time you get the urge to have sexytime with the fucker, just read her Facebook page. It’s a guaranteed bonershrinker. I think, anyway.
As a woman, it’s much harder for me to have sexytime with someone I loathe. It’s impossible, actually. I know, I know, (some) men can fuck women they don’t like. But can they really fuck someone they actually despise?
[re=454150]rmontcal[/re]: You are a man of rare insight.
[re=454283]chascates[/re]: I freaked out over that, too. I looked at Dave Mason’s Wiki entry to see if there were any wingnut connections. I only found this, “Mason is a proponent of music education for children. In 2005, he signed on as an official supporter of Little Kids Rock, a non-profit organization that provides free musical instruments and lessons to children in public schools throughout the U.S.” Let’s hope that’s his excuse. I still haven’t gotten over finding out the Small Faces’ great Kenney Jones is a Conservative Party supporter and polo denizen.
some people should not be allowed near a computer. ick. nast.
I thought you shattered a glass ceiling from below….
The fuck is the point of shattering it from above?
That’s a glass floor, and glass floors are mainly for upskirt and German shiza porn.
In my experience.
[re=454346]Katydid[/re]: Yes we can! Fired up, ready to go…
I left them a nice comment. And by nice I mean “This is the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. All of you should spare the next generation, go back in time, and abort yourselves.”
[re=454346]Katydid[/re]: I dunno, I’d do Meg McCabe’s pretend boyfriend Aaron Schock if he didn’t have hair like a dickhead.
The internet is funny and causes laughter. (Hilley, 2008, p. 529)
These section headers are word soup. Or possibly word stew, with nice chunks of tender moose.
“Center left”. I know people have pointed it out already, but still, WTF. This is an “accomplishment”? It’s a relational position in space / politics, first of all, but secondly, what in the hell?
The forging photos look like stills from a VHS bootleg of someone’s copy of Das Rheingold. But thanks to her references cited (so very professional!) we know they came from some old Marine Corps ad, back before they had guys going out into the desert, tripping on peyote, and swordfighting on top of mesas.
[re=454346]Katydid[/re]: yes.
Never heard of the Hate Fuck Trio, Denver punk band named after this phenomenon? (Nobody else did either, but it’s still the greatest name for a punk band ever.)
[re=454242]OfTheTheatricalPersuasian[/re]: Repressed is one thing, bad taste is another.
Why I had no idea she was a jet-flying blacksmith.
Good thing I logged on, otherwise I would have blithely continued to assume Saracudda was just a Jebus-spouting bimbo and serial quitter who liked banging snowmobile racers. Silly me.
“Click the animated FeedBurner Banner at the top of the right-hand sidebar to see Governor Palin’s Latest FaceBook Notes.”
I am grateful for the helpful instructions. I didn’t know where to click next.
Meh, I review hundreds of resumes every day that look exactly like that website.
Glad I logged on. I had no idea that Saracuda was a jet-flying blacksmith. I just assumed she was a Jebus junkie snowbilly serial quitter who liked banging snowmo racers. Silly me.
[re=454346]Katydid[/re]: most men would fuck anything, including venetian blinds (per Nora Ephron) and chickens (per Lenny Bruce). It’s in their DNA, poor things.
OMG this is like one of those weak fan sites for like Merlin with squeeing and giant-eyed weeping Japanese icons OMG OMG OMG
Her ability to break the space-time continuum and cold pick Zombie Reagan’s nose scare the fuck out of me, and that’s an accomplishment.
[re=454409]blowhard[/re]: Any of them ever get hired?
[re=454262]WarAndG[/re]: Holy… Holy fucking shit… That’s disgusting.
“…Followed by a High-G Vertical Climb…because she can…”
I believe that was a high-G-SPOT vertical climb. How else can one explain the startling fecundity of this… this… this… ROGUE.
*head explodes while trying not to type ‘cunt’ just because it’s sorta alliterative with ‘fecund’*
The meticulous accuracy of the APA citations contrasts nicely with the I-don’t-give-a-shit photoshop work.
I’m disappointed. Not even one Wonketini has a link to his or her very own custom created accomplishment graphic for Sarah. Not feeling creative today?
I love Palin. He was the funniest of all the Pythons.
Check out the front page of the blog, too. The blogger is also worried BIG GOVERNMENT’s going to set up MARRIAGE PANELS that decide who will and will not be able to marry. Imagine, the government stepping in to stop two people who love each other from marrying. Wouldn’t that be awful?
If there were a proposition on my ballot to divorce certain couples that don’t meet the government’s standard, I sure wouldn’t vote for it, and I’d be awfully angry at any politician or political party that supported such a measure.
I sure am glad Sarah’s going to stand up for everyone’s rights, and not add an amendment to the constitution banning some types of marriage.
[re=454262]WarAndG[/re]: Ok, so the lesson learned by Palin is that you are in a hopeless situation and the only alternative to being cooked alive is to plummet to your death?
Well … I guess you can argue that it is exactly what Sarah and the Republicans have learned, it’s just that I would have thought, you know, that there would have been some respect for the dead, somewhere.
Republicans – just when you thought the limits of indecency had been reached.
[re=454447]Mustang[/re]: I’m still hoping for a Cthulu’s Accomplishments blog.
WHen is Shatner scheduled to read this?
I can hardly wait for tomorrow’s installment: “Afterbirth, Forgery, and Breaking Wind.”
[re=454216]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
They will have complete and total control of America.
Good thing Bush/Cheney didn’t realize this is all it would have taken.
I could not find accomplishments anywhere, other than “laser polished”. Though I actually think that one might be true if it is just an embellished term for some kind of cosmetic procedure.
[re=454118]J. Robert Oppenheiner[/re]: No, but Palin does a smashing Milli Vanilli lipsynch of it. “Death panel”, “crotch itch” and “Trig”, also.
[re=454163]user-of-owls[/re]: One of her most prideful accomplishments was giving birth to a Down’s Syndrome child. In fact, she wrote a short article about it:
“Trig: Giving Birth to A Popular Misconception.”
sorry so late.
BLINGED!
http://blingee.com/blingee/view/102044417-Pallin-Around-with-the-Dead
I’m just grateful for the “complete transcript of Governor Palin’s Facebook note pertaining to the fall of the Berlin Wall.” It’s heavy reading, but the insights! The close connection between central European politics and Todd’s fishing business become part of the epic sweep of Freedom’s onward march.
Which reminds me how proudly our leaders stand in relation to this event; George Bush upset about Gorbachev’s popularity and Thatcher begging Gorby to send in troops to prevent the collapse of East Germany. No wonder we won the cold war…
OMG She is petting Reagan’s hair!
[re=454242]OfTheTheatricalPersuasian[/re]: Nah, it’s lack of a proper Goddess figure. Mary tries, but doesn’t quite fulfill the need having been bitch slapped by 2 millennia of men with small dicks. We need Gaya or Hera back or to import Lakshmi. Something to focus the ho-moans on.
“Help me Zombie Reagan . . . you’re my only hope!”
No matter what your political views may be, I think we can all agree that she needs a Web designer. This is what happens when you let the intern “do that web stuff”
That site is one of the creepiest things I’ve seen in a long time.
[re=454591]Great Old Ones Party[/re]: Good work, but alas, too bad Halloween has passed. I like the little ghost at Palin’s left ear. What is it whispering? “Your daddy never loved you”?
But Blingee needs something more. Maybe an orca (or a black momba) arising from her cleavage as it struggles for its life to be free of the bathos. Or maybe an appearance of the idiot smiling face of Palin’s dimwit mentor, Billy Kristol.
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[re=454279]snideinplainsight[/re]: Can’t believe the third link on your list. Nyet. Nope. Since when does any Palinator use biting sarcasm?
Imagine if the inter-net had been around in ’85. Mondale would have never left us. But that would have been ok. His daughter is even hotter than any of Palin’s. (Though, the youngest has potential.)
Speaking of bumper stickers, anyone else see that Sarah is the new inspiration for the abstinence only bumper stickers:
“Never Go All the Way.”
Iconic.
[re=454224]HedonismBot[/re]: Ohmygod you’re right, it’s mesmerizing. Huzzah for the Wonkett. I hardly know what to drink to tonight; so much hilarity, so little time.
[re=454213]Snarkalicious[/re]: win of the afternoon
Love her whole “concentration camp” dress theme in that photo …. wait, it’s not? Just bad taste? Oh. Never mind.
[re=454702]Words[/re]: She blames the stripes for the inmate’s gaunt appearance.
[re=454218]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Don’t forget the guy touting his MBA from the University of Phoenix.
I just love the entry by some dweeb under the heading Sarah Palin Music -
“* *Written *exclusively* for *Governor Sarah Louise Palin* who exemplifies the character, vision, & steadfast leadership that made our nation…”
She QUIT, puddingbrain, Q.U.I.T! Cut and ran, skedaddled, racked her cue… If they had been relying on her at the Alamo, Texas would still be part of Mexico.
Sheesh, just how thick are these people? To think they are out there roaming the countryside, apparently unsupervised. Lock the windows tonight, fellow Wonketteers… and it might be an idea to not have pizza before turning in- The nightmares this site can cause absolutely do not require further enhancement.
Wow. Spawning logos, “un-official” grammatical hilarity, and a countdown timer that doesn’t work.
But the forge blog thing is a classic —
Sexy blue dress!
Cool Phoenix artwork!
Forge!
Forge!
Forging!
Forging even more!
Laser forging now!
21st Century Fighter Jet!
Cooler shot of 21st Century Fighter Jet!
1970s fighter jet?
Way to fizzle out, dummies.
All the phallic imagery and creepy Grandpa-lust are hurting my eyes. But that might be because I gouged them out.
I thought that was the Luftwaffe that strafed my house this morning.
“…Followed by a High-G Vertical Climb…because she can…” She can? That is _so_ awesome!
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