Wonkette
Here is your annual bit of foreign news from the foreign country of France! France’s “President”—think: the equivalent of America’s “minority whip”—Nicolas Sarkozy posted a Facebook photo on his French Facebook in which he is shown personally destroying the Berlin Wall with a Nicolas Sarkozy-sized ax. Except according to historical evidence dating back to November 9th, 1989 A.D., Sarkozy was actually in Paris at the time. According to European-style geography, it would have been impossible for Sarkozy to be both in Paris and also knocking down the Berlin Wall, located in Berlin.
Quel grand mystère!
In 1989, Sarkozy was 34 and a top official in France’s conservative RPR party.
As such, his movements were already being well-documented - a fact which appears to have escaped his memory.
Even without the council records, critics have attacked his story as dubious.
For a start his claim that he ‘decided to leave Paris’ on the morning of November 9th 1989 because he wanted ‘to take part in the event which was looming’ sounded unlikely.
Journalist Alain Aufray, of Liberation newspaper, said : ‘Nobody in Paris, not even in Berlin, could tell that the Wall was going to fall…
‘Radios and televisions in West Germany had began to describe what was happening at 8pm… It was not until 11pm that Berliners in the west began to gather infront of the border.’
By this time, Sarkozy says he was already attacking the Wall, along with Alain Juppe, another future convervative prime minister, and Fillon.
Anyway, has anyone ever told the truth about anything on Facebook? This is the same guy who also says he’s “married to” Carla Bruni.
I bet Sarkozy doesn’t even know half of his 25,000 “friends” personally.
Does this mean he’s lying about Woodstock, too?
Never could trust the Frogs.
Forêt Gump
Weren’t there remaining parts of The Wall up for weeks? Folks would walk up to them, pose for a photo as if you were there on the day. Sort of like those cut outs of Obama or Clinton with which you can have your photo taken down on the Mall.
Reagan told Israeli political leaders that he was with a camera unit that liberated one of the death camps although he stayed in the U.S. during WWII.
It’s really the thought that counts.
hockeymom: “If every vampire who said he was at the Crucifixion was actually there it would’ve been like Woodstock. I was at Woodstock. I fed off a flower person and I spent six hours watching my hand move.”
This is great news for John McCain.
That’s not the Berlin Wall - that’s Sarkozy hiding behind the remains of the Maginot Line.
Off topic, but there is good news today:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/06/stephanie-seymour-gets-na_n_348463.html
It seemed to pleasant to withhold.
chascates:
I don’t think Ronnie honestly knew the difference between movies and reality.
Cleaning graffiti off the Paris Metro is pretty much the same as knocking down the Berlin Wall, if you think about it (with your head encased in a helium-filled balloon).
Next, we’ll find out that Sarkozy really wasn’t swimming in the Yangtze river.
chascates: Hey now, Reagan saw a lot of action in WWII movies.
You bastard piece of shit fuck! GO BACK TO Budapest, Hungary where you fucking BELONG FROG.
chascates: Reagan and Sarkozy: legends in their own minds…
“According to European-style geography, it would have been impossible for Sarkozy to be both in Paris and also knocking down the Berlin Wall, located in Berlin.”
Actually, this is a European-style metaphysical impossibility. According to European metaphysics, a person can’t be in two places at the same time. To falsify this principle, you would have to change the meaning of “person” or “place” or maybe “be.” And I don’t wanna catch none of you doing that, or I will report you to the EU Committee on Metaphysics and Tourism.
the wall didn’t fall, it was pushed.
One of my unlisted and unverifiable acting credits lists me as stormtrooper #135 in “The Empire Strikes Back”. I’m just saying…
Norbert: Oder Wald Gump.
You’d think a man married to Carla Bruni would no longer have the need to embiggen his legend with such lies.
This might be good news for Meghan McCain too. Fat, stupid, ugly Meghan.
Was Goldilocks french, by any chance?
Terry: He was a democrat until the Alzheimers worms ate his brain.
Terry: Remember his heart-wrenching story about the bomber pilot awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor who chose to go down with his ship so he could comfort a wounded ball-turret gunner?
Now, it would have been impossible for anyone to know the contents of their conversation since they both would have died in the crash, but that didn’t stop President Reagan from telling the story.
Speaking of the Berlin wall … When will RedBloggerPat tear down that second chin, which oppressively denies his eyes the ability to see his needle dick?
Does this mean Mr. Sarkozy isn’t really married to Carla Bruni? Those “wedding photos” were faked as well? She’s still available? Wow!
Up in Berlin, knockin’ down that communist wall, or down in Paris, knockin’ up that Czech au pair girl?
Maybe that really wasn’t Carrie Nojeans starring in “Do Your Own Thing!”
Meanwhile, Vladimir Putin says, “Pussy” and tosses back another shot of vodka.
V572625694: Nipples or GTFO!
Having been at the Crucifixion, I can say with complete certainty that Sarkozy swam the Hellespont to get to the Berlin wall in time to break it down that night after chopping off Marie Antoinette’s head.
Has anyone here ever seen a well-organized French family photo album? No. This is actually a picture of Sarkozy and Carla Brunei (who was then a man) chiseling bison off the wall at Lasceaux.
ph7: Oh, very nicely done! That comment marks a great leap forward in popular humor! Bravo, Great Helmsman!
Even more curious, the graffiti on the wall he’s helping destroy translates as “UMP Sarkozite fascists out of Villiers-le-Bel!”
Actually that picture is from Sarcozy “storming” the stage at a 1989 Scorpions concert.
V572625694: That’s good news? I was hoping Lieberman had resigned.
Tundra Grifter: Just more proof you can’t trust the French. And if was going to lie, why not REALLY lie. I’d be more impressed if he said he was married to Monica Belluci.
Terry: Reagan also told Tip O’Neil that he once played Presidnt Grover Cleveland in a movie. O’Neil checked and it turns out that Reagan had played baseball pitcher Grover Cleveland Alexander.
Bonyenne!
You know what they say about the Berlin Wall: if you can remember chipping it into little tiny pieces, you weren’t really there. Or something like that.
CrunchyKnee: Je suis ici rock moi comme un ouragan.
he’s beginning to be a joke here in France.
here he is drunk during a press conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1HCFHjLndQ
V572625694: Is it really a naked picture if they are hiding the good parts?
NoWireHangers: Lieberman resigning? Not until they pry the DHS Committee chairmanship gavel from his cold, dead fingers. We must take our pleasures where we find them. Ms Seymour’s backside should be declared a national monument, so finely is it wrought.
Tom Tancredo was too depressed to go.
bathalax: I defy anyone to have “lunch” with Vladmir Putin and not show serious aftereffects.
The only difference between Sarkozy and Tom Cruise is that the phone books Sarkozy sits on to reach the steering wheel are in French.
His wounded captain isn’t really missing his legs.
AbstinenceOnly Ed: Oooh! Mean!
AnnieGetYourFun: And the ones Tom Cruise sits on are in Gay!
the problem child: What about having a little Putin for lunch? I hear Stephen Harper does it all the time.
“Sarkozy” also “pretended” to “call” Sarah Palin just before the election last year, amirite?
V572625694: (A) I’d hit it and run before I got hit with the $257K/month shopping bills; but (B) “naked” by Vanity Fair standards is not really naked.
the problem child: So THAT’S why all my hair fell out after our lunch together. I was going to order the fish, but the duck with caperberries and polonium reduction sounded so good.
AbstinenceOnly Ed: Remember when “This Hour” went around convincing various members of the Bush campaign that the prime minister of Canada was named “Jean Poutine”? Good times.
This would never work on The Incredible Huck, who undoubtedly knows what poutine really is.
No doubt he did this after his long career with the French Resistance in WWII. Photographic evidence to be forthcoming shortly.
AbstinenceOnly Ed: Whether what you meant was “putain” or “poutine”, Harper is a “happily married man”. When else is he gonna get a little something on the side, if not at lunch time?
Mad Brahms: All three of his kids were conceived “avec Poutine,” and you DO NOT want to know what that means. Hint: it involves at least three different types of “gravy.”
On Facebook, we are all married to Carla Bruni. And Gisele Bundtcake, also.
Stephy Seymour’s and Carla Bruni’s are for looking at, not for marrying, just as Ferrari’s are not for everyday commuting. Lucky for Steph and Carla, however, there is always a rich or powerful chowderhead out there who wants the ultimate bling on his arm. The Lawrence of the Desert Reality Factor (similar to pos/neg correlation) has both Mssrs. Sarkozy and Brant rated a near-perfect -.09 RF, making them the perfect victims, er, mates for the above id-based babes. At least Sarkozy is in a long line of great pretending French presidents, going back to DeGaulle, who proclaimed himself leader of the French Army as Hitler toured Paris. Charlie’s army at the time consisted of six out-of-work waiters and a gimpy Apache dancer, but he demanded that FDR and Winnie treat him like a head of state — which in fantastic French fashion, Chuck became! British pols strive to make life tolerable, but the French strive to make it interesting.
Mad Brahms: He might know what poutine is, but Huckabee was still punked by Mercer over protecting our “national igloo”.
I’m gonna go over the Berlin wall. I don’t understand this bit at all.
Oui, nous avons le “photoshop”!
Mad Brahms: Was it in a episode of “Hart to Hart” where they mentioned the great French restaurant “Le Ptomaine?”
yargisbargis: Srry to be serious, but I’m sure the photo is real; it is just that he’s wrong about when he was there (this in no way excuses the horrid fact that he actually uses facebook, bien sur).
AbstinenceOnly Ed: This must be the poutine that comes with little bits of viande fumée
I just threw up in my mouth, not a little, but a lot.
Une mystère et boule de gomme! Bien sur!
fatherfigure: Good lord how many Québecers do we have hiding on this board? Tabernouche!
Speaking for the City of New Orleans, we do NOT want France to take us back. Useta did, but not anymore.
i always wondered is there a European equivalent to Wonkette?
Mad Brahms: Ta gueule, mon hostie d’tabarouette! on va nous decouvrir…
freppish: Yeah, in Germany. It’s called Sprockette.
Did Nicolas meet Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev at the wall? All the rightie-tighties say Reagan told Gorbachev to tear down the wall. And Gorbachev did so! So there must be some sort of liberal conspiracy, because Reagan ordered Gorbachev to do it in 1987! And all the liberal media says that it happened in 1989 and that Gorby WASN’T EVEN THERE! So who cares where Sarkozy was in November of 1989! The wall was torn down in June of 1987 by Gorbachev. And that photo definitely proves that Sarkozy was there, working with Gorbachev! That person next to him definitely looks like this Russian lady who used to live near me…
I demand to see the long form work certificate for tearing down a cement structure in the City of Berlin.
Mad Brahms: Not far from Quebec. Haven’t lived there since the last referendum. Poutine technology has improved since then, IMHO.
user-of-owls: Uh, touch my monkey?
Je me souviens.
What’s this about General Napoleon Sakozy and the breech of the Walls of Jericho, and all’at?
This is the best of Juli Weiner…literary ornament…Nobel for literature…