• BACHMANN’S CHIEF OF STAFF QUITS: Michelle Marston, who has helped Michele Bachmann project her radioactive insanity to a larger audience since becoming chief of staff in early 2008, quit that job today — one day before Bachmann’s “Super Bowl of Freedom,” on Capitol Hill. Marston will not disclose her reasons, which is great, because now we all can just make shit up! THEY HAD A BIG FIGHT B/C THEY HATE EACH OTHER, a “well-sourced Washington lawyer” tells us. [Politico]
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  1. “You either love Michele Bachmann or you don’t love Michele Bachmann at all…” How about ‘or you think she’s fucking insane?’

  2. “When your captain’s crazy, it’s time to find a new ship,” the lawmaker said.

    Now here’s a guessing game — who the heck is the “conservative Republican House member” who said this? We can rule out Ron Paul, since he wouldn’t want to advise his staff to clear out.

  3. I’m guessing Michelle went into the ladies’ room and then MicheŸe followed her into the ladie’s room and got the stall next to her and when MicheŸe tapped her foot against Michelle’s foot Michelle just moved her foot away without speaking and it was all downhill from there. (Do Republican women play foot tapping games in the john?)

  4. [re=450662]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: You haven’t grasped Marston’s logical rigor: “You think she’s fucking insane” falls in the “you don’t love MB at all” bracket. The transcendent beauty of this paradigm is widely applicable: you either love Rush Limbaugh, or you don’t. You either love Carrie Prejean or you don’t. You either love Richard Nixon or you don’t. You either love chopped liver or you don’t.

    I could go on….

  5. I heard that they were worried about the gossip about how much time they were spending together in fact some say they were gett’n way too close… Then like so many other young couples they fought over which one correctly spelled their first name (is it 1 or 2 Ls) and the bloom of the rose of romance withered on the thorny vine of life.

    Thankfully the Palin/Bachman overdrive is back on track for 2012. Palin knew she just had to wait in the wings for the cold winds of fall to bring a cold and steady chill to the romatic heat of summer that was, Bachman/Marston.

  6. The day before Michelle Bachmann invites every gun-toting mouthbreather in America to “see the whites” of their lawmakers’ eyes, Michelle Bachmann’s chief of staff quits.

    I don’t work on Capitol Hill. If I did, I’d make tomorrow the best eight hours of sick leave ever.

  7. A conservative Republican House member, speaking on the condition of anonymity, suggested that Bachmann’s views — and her willingness to state them — make it hard for her to keep staff.

    “When your captain’s crazy, it’s time to find a new ship,” the lawmaker said.

  8. This must have been a good one — the departing staff member didn’t even use an old standby like “pursuing a new opportunity” or “more time with the rugrats”, just “I’m not saying.” Whatever she’s not saying is going to be awesome!

  9. from Feb 12 2008:
    U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann continues to go through staff at a high rate in her first term. Richard Dunn, who had been Bachmann’s second chief of staff, left that job in the last few days, along with legislative aide William Schirano, formerly of the Heritage Foundation, and the office manager of her district office, who has the wonderful name Destiny Mask.

    During Bachmann’s first 13 months in office, there has been at least one turnover in every one of the top leadership positions in the Bachmann office: the chief of staff, the legislative director, the district director and the communications director. All four of the jobs dealing with substantive legislative work have also turned over.

  10. >A conservative Republican House member, speaking on the condition of anonymity, suggested that Bachmann’s views — and her willingness to state them — make it hard for her to keep staff.

    >“When your captain’s crazy, it’s time to find a new ship,” the lawmaker said.

    I don’t see why Congresswoman Bachmann would want to be anonymous; that’s a quality quote right there.

  11. It was just an honest disagreement over whether the lady parts slice and dice in the climactic scene in AntiChrist was a turn on for a Christian woman, or not.

  12. My guess: she quit because Bachman wanted to kick the reptilians out of government, and she either A) got scared of the crazy, or B) wanted to pick her battles and knew the reptilian establishment was TOO STRONG to fight against.

  13. [re=450664]slappypaddy[/re]: Although it’s composed of entirely flea-invested woodland ferrets, I can understand her wish.
    Our maybe Marston means “family” as Squeaky Fromme did. Again, I can understand. It’s wearisome being a flying monkey.

  14. “Michelle Marston, who has helped Michele Bachmann… …quit that job today”

    Terminal Lover’s Spat, based on differing reactions to the Maine Same-Sex Marriage vote?… just sayin’…

  15. [re=450707]Min[/re]: Yeah, I’ve been by Bachman’s DC office and they have one of those signs over reception that says, You Don’t Have to Be Crazy to Work Here …But It Helps! Actually, you DO have to be crazy to work here.

  16. [re=450688]PoignancySelz[/re]: Future dystopian meme: You know who ELSE liked to quit?

    Yeah, you know who else quit by chomping on cyanide & shooting himself in the mouth? After first poisoning his dog? Who was also a vegetarian? Who was also monorchic?

  17. Bachmann’s latest political brainstorm, a “house call” on the Capitol Thursday to which she’s invited Fox News viewers and other conservatives to march with her through House office buildings, “find members of Congress, look at the whites of their eyes and say, ‘Don’t take away my health care.’”
    To the Capitol Police: Tranq-darts.
    In the alternative:
    Type-3 disruptors.

  18. “When your captain’s crazy, it’s time to find a new ship”

    Well, well well…

    Me thinks someone has just found their slogan for their Super Bowl of Freedom sign tomorrow…

  19. Michelle Bachmann’s weak ass pimp with a short leash, Michael Steele, sent me an email:

    “Dear Jedinight69_Wakeupsheeples,

    On behalf of the leadership of the Republican National Committee, I want to thank you for helping our Party earn historic victories in Virginia and New Jersey yesterday.

    Haha…I forgot all about that war blogging against the RNC “new ideas” site. That shit is marked as spam now.

  20. [re=450807]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I heard that Roman Polanski directed.

    You know what, in my country, in my family, I think I believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offense to anybody out there. But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman,”

    Sex, on the other hand, should be between a woman and her video camera.

  21. [re=450820]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Sex, on the other hand, should be between a woman and her video camera.

    Perhaps this Carrie Cumjeans’ definition of “opposite sex.”

  22. Looks like Michelle finally bailed the U.S.S. Sanity-Killer. Good for her. Too bad no one’s going to be that far out to sea to rescrue her ass. It’s called karma; get used to it.

  23. [re=450683]chascates[/re]: Perhaps Bachmann insists on buggering all new hires with a strap-on dildo, in order to have the masculine experience!

  24. [re=450804]S.Luggo[/re]: yeah Democrats don’t take away my health care. Wait, I don’t have fuckin health care. Oh well, how about some tort reform and a pack of smokes?

  25. Does Wonkette have beat reporters on the scene for the inevitable tazering of some poor, misguided tea-bagger who just wants to see “the whites of the eyes” before they go all Galt up in this mutha? I want to see some pictures!

  26. [re=450895]thefrontpage[/re]: The short answer would be HELL YES. Although the carnage ensuing from all those battling vaginas dentata would be completely worth watching.

  27. Gay like I am, I don’t really follow sports. Who’s Freedom playing in this “Super Bowl”? And, more importantly, who should I put my money on in the office pool?

  28. That top link pulled the ol’ Fox News national embarrassment party switcheroo: “Rep. Michele Bachmann, D-Minn., appeared…” Thanks MinnPost for giving the democratic party the gift of freedom!

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