Wonkette
- THE MOST ANNOYING PROSPECT FOR TOMORROW AND ITS AFTERMATH: It’s not that Republicans could win two governorships in a miserable atmosphere for incumbents/incumbent parties that have had to make tough state budget decisions in the last year, or that strange circumstances in NY-23 are handing that seat to some wingnut unaffiliated with either major party — it’s the gloating we’ll have to endure as the media constructs its latest “GOP comeback” narrative: “A Republican sweep of the races the media has chosen to focus on (there’s another House special in California that Dems are almost certain to win) will doubtless be spun as a rebuke of President Barack Obama and his ‘liberal’ governing agenda.” [MoJo Blog]
But….but…..it’s a liberal media?
I can’t wait for Meg McCain’s analysis of the election.
And the march to being the Mostly White Somalia continues…
Just as Palin, Pawlenty and others will fight over which one of them caused Scuzzlebut to drop out so every pundit will claim that they alone saw this coming and have a singular insight for the return of the GOP.
American votes no on Socialism, for apologizing for our God-given role in the world, for turning away from Jesus, for harassing the rich and successful, and for the media makin’ stuff up!
The gloating will be annoying for a few days, but we also get to watch the aftermath of the night when all the Conservatives rise up and slit the throats of all the moderates in the Republican party. That will be fun.
Good. Let them think they’ve come back. And let them apply the same “winning formula” (extreme rightwing nutjobism) in all 50 states.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Yes, this is the implosion that I am looking forward to. I think we should help them to understand just how close they all are to be sodomized by black Jewish abortion-providing homosexual illegal immigrants between now and 2012.
Unless they reward that Hoffman nutball with 75 votes in the House, I couldn’t possibly give less of a fart. New Jersey can be spun as a repudiation of that billionaire hobo that’s been running the state, and Virginia can be blamed on Terry McAuliffe’s forcing me to support some douche named Creigh (and his simpering shitbag of a strategist, Mudcat Saunders).
The “winning formula:” One part fake dog poo, two parts rock salt.
I’m hoping this win encourages the wingnuts to run Palin in 2012.
That’s the Main Stream Mediums for ya — always consulting their stars, tea leaves, and entrails and coming up with the most simplistic, lazy, and hackneyed interpretation of the last 1.5 news cycles.
Some predictions of my own:
Bill Kristol: “The Democrats have shown, once again, that they are out of touch with mainstream America. Unlike me. FAAAAAARRRRRRTTTT!”
Mike Steele: “The GOP is back, baby!”
Doug Hoffman: “The Time of Purification is at hand. Repent or die, heathens!”
Glenn Beck: “I eat oatmeal mixed with my own cowper’s fluid!”
Considering how the press has spent the past two years saying how every great thing that happened to Obama was good news for the Republicans, I’m guessing the Republican victories will be hailed by the pundits as a win for Obama.
Well then — after this overwhelming show of support for the neocon agenda, they should be able to completely shut President Obama and his cronies in the House and Senate down, right? So we won’t hear any more bitching from the right.
Either that or they can’t argue that a small number of elections in historically conservative areas of the country amount to anything more than a hill of beans.
Tomorrow we are all clinically insane gloating superdouches.
There’s a Hungarian saying: If you fuck the goat, you may eat the cheese. I’m sure it applies here, but not how, exactly.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: I’m looking forward to the Rolling Stone cover photo of Bristol and Willow after they go helter-skelter on Peggy Noonan. I like the crazy eye girls.
Tomorrow we are all repudiated black socialist fascist mooslims.
Good news is there might be one less republican sheriff in the US soon:
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/11/report_fbi_probing_arpaio_for_targeting_political.php
Finally some of these other states are catching up. Pennsylvania voted for Democratic presidents and Republican senators for most of my life. And surely none of you would disagree that Pennsylvania is a veritable paradise as a result. Clinton and Santorum/Specter. Now THAT was a team.
Color me unconcerned. At worst, the Dems drop all three of these races and the wafting mass of odious bloviation from the right reminds the left why it’s necesarry to keep working. Not one of these cock-mongers has the chops to stay in for a second round, anyhow.
bitchincamaro: We had a saying in my filthy, drug-ridden off campus duplex back in 1981, that fat chicks are like mopeds, they are fun to ride, but you don’t want your friends to see you on one. I think that applies, as well.
Sometimes when you lose, you win.
Sometimes when you win, you lose.
If republicans win. It means more Megan McBreasts pictures.
If republicans lose. It means more Megan McBreasts commentaries.
NEWSFLASH A REPUBLICAN WILL HOLD A REPUBLICAN DISTRICT IN NEW YORK
THIS IS GOOD NEWS FOR JOHN MCCAIN
Snarkalicious: There’ll be no fat fuck kris kristie victory, that much I know. I am going down to the polls and I am going to vote for our billionaire hobo king, and I am going to keep voting for him until he wins.
Down-in-flames:
http://www.northstarnational.com/2009/11/02/cent-republican-party/
Hah-hah, hah-hah, hah-hah, Repugs.
Prommie:
Word. New Jersey is used to corrupt politicians but they have to draw a line in the sand somewhere.
Too bad this election came a few years too early for Master Jonathan Krohn.
http://wonkette.com/406671/thirteen-year-old-declared-new-emperor-of-gop
Hey, it’s very important that the Republican party is ideologically pure, without any of those dirty center-right politicians who will occasionally stray from the late Dear Leader Ronnie’s positions (ignore the actual compromises he made with both Democrats and the Soviets as President). It is much better to maintain purity even if it takes the party down to 20% of both houses.
Naturally, it wouldn’t make much of a difference because even if the Senate was 80-20 Reid wouldn’t be willing to pass a bill that didn’t have “bipartisan” support.
Well then, allow me to issue a preemptive “blow me” to all the future gloating cons.
Don’t blame me. I’m voting for Reverend Billy.
The smirking blondes on FOX are going to be especially annoying.
(The door flies open and Chris Christie enters, flanked by Doug Hoffman and Bob McDonnell);
“Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…fear and surprise….
Our two weapons are fear and surprise… and ruthless efficiency….
Our three weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency…
and an almost fanatical devotion to Glenn Beck….
Our four… no…
Amongst our weapons… Amongst our weaponry…
are such elements as fear, surprise…
I’ll come in again.”
Bill Kristol argues today that the GOP crackup is actually a good sign for the GOP. Hey did I tell you the one about how Bill Kristol gets paid to write about things?
ManchuCandidate: It’s called the “Wild West,” and it is how the majority of Americans prefer to live. Instead of socialized medicine, you have the cook pappy wrapping your bullet wounds with beans and soiled rags. Instead of public schools, you have legends and, occasionally, rumors. Instead of gay marriage, you have cowhands wrasslin after the camp fire’s gone out.
Invest in mail order fake dog poo futures now.
NYNYNY: Hey, Jim West got as many girls as Captain Kirk, Artemus Gordon was as smart as Spock and could make cool gadgets and Miguelito Loveless was a better villain than all the Klingons and Romulans (except that sexy Romulan woman captain Kirk stole the cloaking device from) so yeah of course Americans want to live in the Wild Wild West. If we can’t move forward into the future and have Star Trek (and NASA can’t even bomb the moon properly) then we have to move forward into the past and have the Wild Wild West. Just to make the best of things I call dibs on the daughter of the mad scientist who makes a steam-powered atom bomb. I like crazy eye girls.
Prommie: I have a message from Mayor Daley. He says: “Fuck yeah, Prommie. Do that shit the way daddy said so!”
Capricatony: “Bill Kristol argues today that the GOP crackup is actually a good sign for the GOP.”
Similarly, oozing pustules are a good sign for the bubonic plague, also.
Thanks for Duckspeak, Billy.
I can’t believe I actually want to see that douchebag Corzine win an election, but that would be one less thing for the Reps to gloat over.
And, yeah, we can thank Terry McAuliffe’s vanity campaign for tomorrow’s Gov.-Elect Robert “Bob” McDonnell. Fucker.
NYNYNY: Don’t forget the barber who gives you a piece of shoe leather to bite down on as he amputates your gangrenous leg.
S.Luggo: Isn’t it strange how “oozing pustules” comes to mind when thinking of Bill Kristol?
Lionel Hutz Esq.:
Actually, Krauthammer makes me think of runny sores….Bill Kristol gives me more of an “animal semen” vibe…
http://twitpic.com/o2l63
It’s on!