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Hamid Karzai Is Declared President—But Was He Even Born In America??

  • After very possibly receiving fewer votes than his opponent, Hamid Karzai has won the presidential election of Afghanistan! [New York Times]
  • Ford earned $1 billion in the third quarter and people are now thinking the company could be profitable by 2011. [Washington Post]
  • Yesterday some American guy—originally from Eritrea, but still totally counts—won the New York City Marathon, which is the first time that’s happened since 1982. [CNN]
  • A suicide bomber killed 30-ish people outside a bank in Pakistan, most of whom used to have something or other to do with the military. [AP]
  • The New York Yankees baseball team has won another go-round in the baseball tournament, and look at this biased coverage from the New York Post. [New York Post]
  • Everyone who’s anyone in the Arab world just despises Hillary Clinton. [Reuters]

About the author

Juli Weiner was Wonkette's beloved intern and books columnist and then morning editor until she was hired away by Vanity Fair in 2010.

View all articles by Juli Weiner
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28 comments

  1. Redhead

    “PHILADELPHIA — The Yankees are nine innings away from returning to a place Derek Jeter and others firmly believe a season is a failure if they don’t.”

    Worst.Lede.Ever. WTF? Now, I get that this is the NY Post and not the NY Times, but could you still try to write a coherent lede?

  2. Larry McAwful

    Yay! New York’s sportball team has won another sportball match! They did some great sportball things and now move on to a bigger spot in the sport contests, or something.

  3. ManchuCandidate

    U! S! A! If I were a Kenyan marathoner, I’d hire Oily Taints as my lawyer and demand to see the winner’s birf certificate!

  4. Larry McAwful

    The poor 30-ish people! But I’m not worried. Due to my birthday two months ago, I’m now 40-ish, and thus safe.

  5. Words

    Would someone please buy Ms. Clinton some new clothes? Looked like she wore the same scarf and outfit the whole time.

  6. Servo

    Fuck MLB! Especially the Yankees!
    Ford’s salvation came via Microsoft’s SYNC and America’s insatiable appetite for gadgetry. Their vehicles are still shitty. Have you filled up a Ford lately?

  7. Aflac Shrugged

    Interesting that you blow yourself up near banks to kill service members in Pakistan.

    Here, you’d only do that if the bank was next door to a strip club and a storefront offering 30-day paycheck loans at 25% interest.

  8. TVarmy

    Why is Ford being so unAmerican as to turn a profit under a Democrat? They need to help Rush Limbaugh help Obama fail.

  9. Jim89048

    I’d hate to earn a billion dollars and still not consider myself profitable. Something wrong with that math.
    Phillies need a bailout. Also.

  10. AKAM80TheWolf

    [re=448098]hobospacejunkie[/re]:

    The Serie A is sooo [i]noioso[/i]. You need to get yourself sorted (with the EPL).

  11. DemmeFatale

    [re=448098]hobospacejunkie[/re]: Yes please, (especially Jeter)!
    Why doesn’t the USA get footie the way, oh…I don’t know…THE REST OF THE WORLD does?

  12. Mr Blifil

    The Yankees are nine innings away from returning to a place Derek Jeter and others firmly believe a season is a failure if they don’t.

    I kinda sorta get the gist of the idea the writer is trying to express. My question is: are NY Post columnists actively receiving bonuses or something for committing the worst violations of grammar?

  13. lawrenceofthedesert

    Glad to hear that Ford churned out a billion by “cutting manufacturing costs,” and with it, that pesky quality control is finally out of the way entirely. I imagine the Fords’ innovative re-engineering of the Detroit Lions was their model.

  14. Jukesgrrl

    Can we just declare Kate Hudson the winner and go home before we have to endure any more “news” from the Post?

  15. lochnessmonster

    I think a good story that you missed is the Bears won yesterday even though they weren’t playing football!

Comments are closed.