- VIRGINIA COPS, THEY AIN’T TOO SMART: “Five Virginia Department of Corrections officers have been charged with animal cruelty involving the fondling of a K-9 dog and videotaping the two incidents … ‘Essentially, he was touching the dog’s penis with his hand,’ Beasley said. ‘The others were there filming it. That’s actually how we learned of it — there’s a video.'” Oh fine, one more funny sentence: “‘I would characterize it as hazing,’ he said, claiming that Thompson was told by the others, ‘If you masturbate your K-9 unit, you’ll have greater control over it.'” [Culpeper Star-Exponent, the best name in newspaper history]
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