Wonkette
- A terrifying “flash mob” of ten — five sets of two — Tea Baggers stormed the Capitol and created a new coalition government with three Birthers. [TPM]
- Senate likes Edward Brooke. Senate invites Edward Brooke to fancy ceremony. Senate gives Edward Brooke fancy gold medal. Edward Brooke accepts gold medal from Senate. Edward Brooke poops all over Senate. [The Caucus]
- Why must Matt disrespect Billy Corgan so thoroughly? Some believe in H1H1, some don’t. And some are agnostic. Is that so wrong? [Matt Yglesias]
- Hillary Clinton chanted the famous muslin prayer “Death to America” whilst prostrating herself before the holy shrine of Osama bin Laden. When will it end? [Gateway Pundit]
- NEW MALKIN DIAGRAM! This week: the molecular structure of the Red Menace. [Michelle Malkin]
Man, I was a Young Democratic Socialist for like a week in college (before I realized the other members didn’t actually give a shit about politics and Robo-tripped most of the day. No. Seriously.), and I have no idea what half the groups in Malkin’s hexagon are.
“It looks like the cellular structure one sees in an insurgency. More than just a coincidence.” Geez, those Michele Malkinoids are some sharp.
It only takes two for a teabag flash “mob”.
These Dan Brown things confuse me. So the “Democratic Socialists of America” are really Rosicrucians?
Suds McKenzie: I’ve found my Halloween costume.
That Malkin organizational chart makes no sense. (I know, right?) It doesn’t really have any chart-y qualities at all; may as well be just a list. Also, given the source, shouldn’t there be another vertex labeled “Jews” or “water flouridators” or something?
Jeebus, ACORN has more tentacles in other organizations than the CIA. I’m going to polish up my resume and see if I can get put in charge of grinding up aborted fetuses or something.
There were only 10 tea baggers who attended the rally? According to Fox and Hannity’s radio show, it was upwards of several thousand
I thought the Malkin Diagram would end up having her gay marry Reilly.
Man, Edward Brooke. Had him over for dinner the other night. Complained the directions I gave him were “confusing,” said the wine was “unexceptional,” the ribs were “dried out,” my kids were “ill mannered” and my wife was “not very attractive.”
I’m trying to remember why I invited that guy over.
shadowMark: That’s what the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn wants you to think.
I’m glad Matt has the finger on the pulse of the people…Billy Corgan.
We’re all wondering the Melvin’s Buzz Osborne’s take on global warming. Engage Matt!
H1H1 is actually the scientific name for “Swing Flu,” a virus that regresses your iTunes to 1997 and fills your HD with Squirrel Nut Zippers, Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and other shit that gets you shakin in your zoot pants. Doctors consider this strain incurable, and recommended feeding infected parties to Jon Favreau.
Billy Corgan, good to see you - wondered what you’ve been up to lately. Hey, Victoria Jackson is sitting over there in the convo pit with Jenna Jameson and (some other absurdly paranoid offbase famous people talking out of their *ss). Yeah, she says she’s been looking for you - you should go say hi.
Damn, they’ve discovered America’s Progressive Hexagon. And I thought it was so well-hidden. Well, just have to write it off like we did with America’s Liberal Trapezoid; America’s Pentagram of Religious Liberty and Family Planning; America’s Irregular Dodecahedron of Vice, Higher Taxes, State-funded Jesus-in-Pee Sculptures and Late-Term Abortions; and America’s Escheresque Impossible 3-D Triangle of Wicca, Solar Power and Interracial Threesomes.
AbstinenceOnly Ed: That strain’s just a mutation from a much earlier virus, HiDHiD-O or the “Cab Calloway Flu” that ravaged America in the 1940s. Moochers and marijuana users (’reefer men’) were particularly hard hit.
Why did that nice old black man feel he had to mouth rape the Senate in that way?
Tide isn’t just for laundry!
AbstinenceOnly Ed: user-of-owls: I’d say I was toe-tappin’ in response to your groovy posts, but I’m afraid what that term might mean this year.
Don’t the Girl Scouts of America, the Mennonites and the Sisters of Charity belong in Malkin’s diagram somewhere?
Also, please note this chilling fact:
Wonkette michellemalkin.com
The web grows.
SayItWithWookies: The Möbius strip of education-health care-death panels may still serve us well.
S.Luggo:
Also, please note this chilling fact:
Wonkette —- WordPress —- michellemalkin.com
The web grows.
SayItWithWookies: Dude, don’t be bitin’ on Nappied Hypotenuse’s style.
Jukesgrrl: Currently, it’s sign language for, “errrr, errrrr.”
http://wonkette.com/410144/sen-voinovich-reveals-terrible-mating-call-of-southern-republicans
So Malkin puts together a diagram tries to show the villainous forces behind some sort of institutional takeover of the US and could only come up with ACORN and a labor union? Really? There’s not one James Bond-like bad guy in there. Us lefties have it so much better as we got people like Halliburton, Diebold, Bechtel, the military industrial complex, the Bush family, Goldman Sachs, Big Oil, WalMart, insurance companies, multi-national corporations, Rupert Murdoch, Starbucks, and that weird little religious group Sanford was a member of. Now those are some bad guys.
Don’t know what’s sadder– that they think ACORN is more dangerous or that it doesn’t even occur to them that the aforementioned companies and multi-national corporations aren’t corroding American in any way, shape or form.
“Obamacare is Elderly Genocide” pretty much says it all. Teabaggers are way past their expiry date. Time to bring them to the death panels so they don’t die alone and get eaten by their beagles.
I am extremely drunk right now, maybe even seeing not double but quadruple. If I drank more could I acually see the million man march? (no women alllowed in my million x teabagging march)
Oooh, someone figured out how to cut and paste into MS Paint!
God help me, I just commented on Gateway Pundit. WTF, Wonkette?
Bruno: 25 or 6 to 4?
AnnieGetYourFun: Wonkette is a gateway blog to harder blogs, like, um…
AnnieGetYourFun: I’m sure your comment was the Internet equivalent ringing a doorbell and running away as the homeowner discovers a burning bag of shit on his porch. We know you’re doing the Lord’s work, Annie.
“He had a dream, We got a nightmare”
That’s not playing the race placard is it?
Aromatic diagram, Michelle.
A toast to Malkin. May she forever parrallel to reality and orthogonal to cheerleading. (they already met once, let’s keep it that way)
AnnieGetYourFun: Me too, although having used the term bullshit on a Catholic-advertisement bearing blog, I somehow doubt it will see the light of day.
oh Mr. Brooke, these are not the Republicans YOU remember, no sir.
They love the chastising, but in the end they do not work well with others.
They seem to live somewhere they call the ‘real’ America
and their goddess is a Snowbilly Grifter.
Meanwhile the, “Palin Witch Hunters Front of Wahoo,” after making a right
turn on I-95, was last seen somewhere near Jacksonville, Flarduh, going in
circles around Popeye’s Fried Chicken.
Witches pray over Halloween candy
chascates: So much for my shitty html skills:
http://www.charismamag.com/index.php/prophetic-insight/23723-the-danger-of-celebrating-halloween
“It’s like we’re in different cars but we’re all going in the same direction”
In circles.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! Ron Paul is about to be on Larry King! Oh jesus pig fucking christ I’m gonna pee my pants!
If former Sen. Brooke had just prepared a Powerpoint presentation based on Lt. Waggaman’s other articles here, he could have given the most direct and succinct speech ever given on the current state of Murkin politics by quoting the immortal oracle of our age, Bender. “We’re boned.”
hobospacejunkie: Please provide notable quotes to us TV-less.
chascates:
…The danger of Halloween is not in the scary things we see but in the secret, wicked, cruel activities that go on behind the scenes. These activities include:
• Sex with demons
• Orgies between animals and humans
• Animal and human sacrifices
• Sacrificing babies to shed innocent blood
• Rape and molestation of adults, children and babies
• Revel nights
• Conjuring of demons and casting of spells
• Release of “time-released” curses against the innocent and the ignorant.
————————————————————
Oh, great. Everyone in the world gets to have fun but me. I’ll be sitting home watching Scream, Scream 2 and Scream 3.
shadowMark: Are Revel nights anything like raves?
Meanwhile from infowars.com:
Alex Jones “completely confident” Texan Congressman will lead grass roots resistance against new world order agenda by running for President
There’s your release of “time-released” curse against the innocent and the ignorant!
chascates: Hey, I’m not responsible for you anti-TV communists. Anyway, I didn’t watch it. I have no interest in Ron Paul.
shadowMark: Is sex with incubi covered under sex w/demons?
Also, I’ll be skipping all Halloween festivities as well, if it’s any consolation.
Also, why is the fact that health insurers enjoy an anti-trust exemption almost never mentioned? Not only do they face very little competition where it exists, but they face zero competition in many places. Seems like this would be a useful topic for argument.
chascates: Congressman will destroy the puppet presidency of the NWO…by becoming the puppet presidency of the NWO. God, I love the Paultards.
hobospacejunkie: What? Approach an issue in an obvious, reasonable and straightforward manner in Congress?
Anti-trust laws are Socialism=Communism anyway.. Those great brave, patriotic healthcare executives are concerned about one thing — quality care for their patients. Obamacare will steal/redistribute medicare $$$’s from the olds to these people: http://www.cpgop.com/images/chrischristiefamily.jpg
Isn’t it like Confucius’s birthday or something today…see thay can do something productive.
Also, I’m partial to succubi
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SojaSRBAnnc
user-of-owls: AbstinenceOnly Ed: I can relate. I once had a case of rockin’ pneumonia that devolved into disco fever, which took me through a new wave of metal mania, finally settling into an alternative strain of the grunge.
AnnieGetYourFun: Annie, you’re not alone. I read through all the readers’ comments on Gateway Pundit and then told them what a bunch of idiots they are picking religions like sports teams and handing out damnations like it was theirs to proffer. Then I read Maulkin and her readers’ comments and now I’m thoroughly depressed. I’ve come to the final conclusion that it’s time to vote them all off the island, no more immunity - it just isn’t funny anymore.
Having said that I’ll always come back to Wonkette, I’m just too addicted to forego my fix.
steve: You’re a brave man, reading malkin comments. I know I couldn’t do it. I have this strange desire to maintain a naive hope for the future, despite all evidence arguing against any hope at all. If there were hope, joe lieberman would’ve never been born.
hobospacejunkie: Hobo, thanks for the kind words but I’m not brave - just a drunk insomniac.
snideinplainsight: Despite all his rage, he’s still just a rat in a cage.
I lost any respect I may have had for Senator Brooke (1.) for not leaving the Republican Party, and (2.) finding out he had sexytime (while married) with Baba Wawa (Barbara Walters for those that don’t speak Lispy New Yorkese). Oh, and to have willfully and proudly ran as a black Republican in 19-fuckin’-67 — or whenever the hell he was — kind of shows where his priorities and loyalites were. For him to complain about the Senate, today, is really kind of rich and not-funny, but pitiful.
I see Hillary has had multiple “Dixie Chick moments” in the past few months. Keep making us proud; I wish you many a more Dixie Chick Tourettes, Hils, many a more.
BTW, if a Teabagger (or small group of them) falls in the middle of Washington on a busy Thursday afternoon, does anyone hear them scream, and do their insurance companies pay for their injuries? And, what is the sound of two testies slapping?
doxastic: I beat the shit out of some members of the Spartacist League in Millicent Macintosh Rec Center some time in the mid ’70s. Not because I disagreed with their politics but because they were really annoying.
Barry praises him by saying that his fan base includes Barney Frank and Gloria Steinem as well as Mitch McConnell and George Bush - “Now, there’s a coalition builder.” I would say there’s the very definition of somebody I wouldn’t trust any farther than I could throw.
steve:
We need more volcanoes.
In the ancient days, we had Volcanoes to weed these people out of the larger gene pool. The rumbling, smoking mountain convinced the smart bronze age tribesmen to relocate so that when it finally started killing people, it was the folks with the stoopids and their progeny. Now, these people form flash-mobs and post on MichelleMalkin.com.
I suggest we create a game show where you have a chance (albeit a remote chance) to win Eleventy Billion Dollars!!!…but if you fail, you’re euthanized on the spot in some entertaining fashion (probably involving a troop of deranged ninjas bent on ass raping the losing contestants to death in some decrepit hellscape, such as Detroit, for example).
Like any public pool, the gene pool needs a filter and lots of chlorine to kill the bacteria, that’s all I’m saying…
dijetlo: Some day a real rain will come & wash all this scum off the streets.
Michelle Malkin this morning confirmed that, yes, indeed, it’s true: She is insane.
Y’all are hating on my dear Michelle just because she revealed ANOTHER SECRET OF THE DHARMA INITIATIVE!!11!
She’s in tune with The Island! (Can we send her there?)
Wow, just read the Malkin thread. Previously I was just stupid.
Now I’m stupid but in a 1950s kind of way.
Billy Corgan: “Swine Flu is then a misnomer, as it really is Swine Flu plus some other stuff stitched together.”
Denim?
Her chart is all well and good, but she needs to add on international bankers, the moon hoax, and Nazis for it to truly all come together. Also, RFID chips. Definitely needs some RFID chips. And the lines should all be pieces of the NAFTA superhighway and the FEMA deathrails.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YK91qbw4ycY
Thanks, Bickle.
Malkin’s “NY-23 radical leftist Republican Dede Scozzafava” is another person’s boring Repug housewife. Why does the symbol for Acorn look dirty to me?
SmutBoffin: Also no Reverse Vampires. A conspiracy theory without the Reverse Vampires - what else is she hiding, ehhh?
“…the molecular structure of the Red Menace” - that’s good stuff, Riley! Well done!
Is Fredrica your sister? I noticed the ad to my immediate left.
The Malkin Diagram: L-O-fucking-L!!
the only thing whinier than an actor is billy corgan.