JESUS CHRIST  5:59 pm October 28, 2009

by Jim Newell

DumbassesMITT ROMNEY POST SOMEHOW EATS DICK CHENEY POST: So where did that little post about Dick Cheney endorsing Kay Bailey Hutchinson go? you are wondering. We don’t know! Some complicated technological problem (“Jim Newell being retarded”) made us write the Mitt Romney post where the Dick Cheney post once was. This must have something to do with “Mizz Wonkette.” Anyway, yeah, uhhh, Dick Cheney is endorsing Kay Bailey Hutchinson, it’s big news! [Austin American-Statesman]

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Hola wonkerados.

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shadowMark October 28, 2009 at 6:03 pm

Plucky Jim Newell !

SayItWithWookies October 28, 2009 at 6:09 pm

I knew that sooner or later whatever swallowed a Dick Cheney post was bound to spit it back out again.

chascates October 28, 2009 at 6:10 pm

As a commenter from the Statesman puts it:

“Does she really think that Voldemort’s support will help?”

bago October 28, 2009 at 6:11 pm

He pulled out the Alt-Text for this one.

weejee October 28, 2009 at 6:12 pm

Is Mizz Wonkette Jim Newell’s cross dressing alter ego Tammy?

Regards the big Dick endorsing Ms. KBH. She’s got bragging rights because she’s been endorsed by America’s primal fundament. Meh! The Dickster is the USA’s #1 asshole: round, red, and stained about the edges.

Tommmcatt October 28, 2009 at 6:25 pm

I have long suspected that little Jimmy is “special”. Vindication of this fact is sweet, indeed.

AbstinenceOnly Ed October 28, 2009 at 6:28 pm

I thought I told Mittens to eat a bag of fricasseed rat dicks, not fricaDick Cheney. Pull the wool out of your ears, Mittens!

lawrenceofthedesert October 28, 2009 at 6:30 pm

“‘Kay Bailey’ sounds an awful lot like Jewish mysticism to me. Are we really sure about her, or do I have to take her bird hunting?” he grumbled. “I’d feel a helluva lot better if her name were ‘Kay Haliburton.’”

PoignancySelz October 28, 2009 at 6:31 pm

Jim, great book to look into, Management by Intimidation. Just blame it on Riley.

widget09 October 28, 2009 at 6:34 pm

Just imagine the irony here. Dick Cheney gets involved in the campaign and paints governer Pick Perry to be a dope smoking, liberal, french, communist faggot. While Dick was taking all of his deferments when he couldn’t stay sober, poor old Rick Perry has stomping around in the rice paddies of Vietnam.

Joshua Norton October 28, 2009 at 6:34 pm


I’m pretty sure that’s what you meant to say.

proudgrampa October 28, 2009 at 6:44 pm

Have I been violated?

Advocatus_Diaboli October 28, 2009 at 7:00 pm

In terms of rock, paper, scissors, plastic beats soulless.
Who knew?

ante meridiem October 28, 2009 at 7:47 pm

But is Dick Cheney still allowed use of U.S.A. bombs? Even if it’s for Rick Perry campaign-office purposes?

Pizzuti October 28, 2009 at 8:14 pm

Funny; all I saw the first time I read that headline was “EATS DICK.”

shadowMark October 28, 2009 at 8:58 pm

[re=445855]Tommmcatt[/re]: Juli, being a girl, pays attention to the technical things and handles her cannister of 2-4-5 Trioxin very carefully so her threads never turn into zombies and eat the other threads.

bago October 28, 2009 at 9:06 pm


I stopped reading right there and felt quite satisfied.

drrty martini October 28, 2009 at 9:23 pm

*Whew* Because I was totally confused by the comments on the Romney story. I thought I’d have to start hanging out at RedState or somethin’.

Eric Cheney October 28, 2009 at 10:46 pm

Did they report which orifice Dick is endorsing her in?

LowerdPeninsula October 29, 2009 at 12:48 am

[re=445834]SayItWithWookies[/re]: swallowed, dick, and spit all in the same short post?! Someone get me my fainting couches, I’m getting the vapors, I do say.

hobospacejunkie October 29, 2009 at 1:17 am

Ha ha, I dare Dick Cheney to show his face at a KBH rally in Austin. I double-dog dare you, Dickie.

Is that sound Cheney makes that of a duck or a penguin?

gurukalehuru October 29, 2009 at 5:34 am

Glad you cleared up the confusion, a little bit, but who is this Mizz Wonkette I keep reading about? Did I mizz zomething?

bbqboy November 1, 2009 at 11:14 pm

It is the eerie howl of the platypus.

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