Wonkette
It was announced just this morning that known tumor Sarah Palin would be delivering a “convocation” on December 2 “about patriotism, citizenship and civic engagement,” at this college, the College of the Ozarks, in Missouri. It is perhaps the only (presumably?) accredited college in America that fancies going by a comically trademarked focus group slogan, “Hard Work U.,” instead of its much more lamentable real name. Anyway, it’s already sold out. Moles: remember to send the goods to tips@wonkette.com, even though we just made fun of your trashy school. [College of the Ozarks]
L’il Abner’s alma mater?
If I had the name “College of the Ozarks”, then I too would seek out a better nickname, even if it was vaguely vulgar and insulting when shouted.
‘”As a charismatic speaker and highly-interesting political figure, Sarah Palin attracts much public interest,” said Sue Head, Executive Director of The Keeter Center for Character Education.’
Thanks, Ms. Head! Can I put my character in you Keeter? It needs educatin’
(As in, how to properly spell “highly-interesting”.)
Love how they copyrighted the name.
As if anyone else would want to be known as “College of the Ozarks”.
“Exploitative Patriotism, Dubious Citizenship, Civic Disengagement and Snowbilly Grifting” Fixed. “Also Using Your Special Needs Baby as a Prop/Human Shield” Fixed, also.
GOOD LORD BRING A HURRICANE TO BLOW AWAY THE SNOW QUEEN!! Take the Ozarks with her, if you must.
Still better than its original name, Hillbilly Negro Normal College.
“Hard Luck U” was probably booked already.
Too perfect.
There’s a waiting list for Banjo 101.
Hey everyone, find an old porno to tape over: Sarah’s doing Oprah.
Shouldn’t it be Quitter U?
We’ll see now if the Grift of the Magi even bothers to show up.
FMA: And Prince’s, 2.
FMA: Or skoalrebel’s.
Called “Hard Work U.” by The Wall Street Journal, deserving students are offered the advantages of a quality, Christian education. … Starting as a tiny school on an Ozarks hill, the College has survived major fires, the Great Depression, wars, and struggles to be one of America’s finest—and most distinctive—institutions.
Might be less of a struggle if you gave yourselves half a chance at decent faculty by droppping the “Christian” part of quality education.
“Sarah Palin would be delivering a “convocation” on December 2 “about patriotism, citizenship and civic engagement,”
Really? Does the Stupid Head know these things now? Because I swear I missed all that when she Smeared Obama her pre-election speeches. And Will she talk about Civics…cause we know she haz the dumbs for it…after all not knowing what the job of the Vice President is. And this college thinks she’s a great speaker…
Lord save us from the zombie morans…they aint fast but they breed quickly.
PsycGirl: And “Fuck U” couldn’t give a shit.
I’m surprised they didn’t go with “kewl skool 4 u 2 go 2″
Evil Dr. Puma:
Ha!
I assume this is one of those local colleges where bubbas/bubbettes unable to get into real colleges, say Columbia or Mizzou, attend. I hate to break it to the attendees, but they are probably smarter than Snowbilly & lord knows that isn’t anything to brag about!
You’d think with her moose fetish shed be speaking at What’s a Matta U, Bullwinkle’s alms mater.
They have a college?
I thought getting past the 6th grade in the Ozarks was considered higher education.
Starting to look like that Spinal Tap tour; or Anvil’s tour of the balkans.
She only accepted the invitation because she thinks that Missouri is a county in Iowa.
Well, it is a better than their old slogan “The Leading College in Hillbilly-Incest-Ass-Rape (c).”
And I for one look forward to Gov. Palin’s evocative speech on how you should keep transferring colleges until you find one where the professors gives you A’s just for going down on them.
Is this place anywhere near Thibodeaux Lousisiana? Is there even a chance that Amos Moses might grab Sarah, tie a rope around her waist, throw her in the swamp and use her for alligator bait?
My bad, wikipedia says it’s spelled “Wossamotta U”.
“…renowned speakers to share on the topics of character, work ethic and citizenship…”
let’s see how Palin stacks up [cough]:
character = vindictive dimwit grifter
work ethic = quitter
citizenship = alaska seccesionist party
who’s got a spare ticket!?!?!?!?!?!
PsycGirl: Also rejected:
Good Luck U.
Wassamadda U.
Hard, Work U?
Work Hard, U!
No Hope 4U
Texan Bulldoggette: Trig will be Valedictorian of this “college” one day…
Must be another bible-thumper diploma mill. Those home-schooled dimwits have to have some place to go after mommy gets done filling their empty heads with snake-handling hillbilly crap 24/7.
I’d rather go to some place more Ivy League, like a school that advertises on a matchbook cover. Or those places you see on TV between soap operas in the afternoon.
Come here a minute: Ummmmm. My history may be a bit off, but didn’t other colleges also survive the Great Depression and wars? So basically that just leaves the fact that their school caught fire.
Students, for tomorrow’s quiz please study the precedent of Hatfields v McCoys.
Who is this shit-for-brains agent? This is supposed to be a book tour, you don’t go to to the fucking Ozarks to sell books (except as fuel, if its a hard winter).
U.S. News & World Report Best Colleges Guide 2010:
Ranked College of the Ozarks #9 Baccalaureate College in the Midwest
Ranked College of the Ozarks #1 Great School for Great Price
Ranked College of the Ozarks #1 Lowest Acceptance Rate
Ranked College of the Ozarks #1 Least Debt
Great taste, less filling!
ChernobylSoup v2: Kwitcherbellyakin.
Nothing says cheap more effectively than “Ranked C of O #1 Least Debt.”
Kinda reminds me of another Missouri establishment, Dirt Cheap Liquor.
http://www.dirtcheapfunfun.com/
You can’t go wrong with a slogan like “Cheap Cheap, Fun Fun!”
After going over the student handbook, it sounds like a fun place! They replace tuition with free labor; require church attendance; ban alcohol completely (including for the over-21); still have a curfew, along with single-sex dorms; ban hats, long hair on men, piercings (except women’s ears), and a lot of other hair/clothing styles; and punish people for:
“1. Sexual relations with a person other than his/her spouse;
2. Sexual relations with a person of the same sex;
3. Touching, caressing, and other physical conduct of a sexual nature
with a person of the same sex;
4. Touching, caressing, and other physical conduct of a sexual nature
with a person of the opposite sex that is inappropriate to the time and
place in which it occurs.”
Man, I wish I had gone there!
The Blue Mountains ain’t never seen no Snow Queen ’til Sarah shows up.
Then its time to break out the ‘shine, boys.
Hand me that jug of Southern Thesis Moonshine.
OMf’inG:
College of the Ozarks has been named a “Stone-Cold Sober School” by the Princeton Review for ten consecutive years. Alcohol and drugs are strictly prohibited on and off campus.
College of the Ozarks students experience a truly Christian environment, with opportunities to attend Chapel on campus, join Christian student organizations, and take part in Christian missions.
College of the Ozarks promotes character in young people. The College’s Keeter Center for Character Education sponsors programs and activities which enhance the development of character and good citizenship.
Who is this Ozarks? And this shitty woman vomiting her little filth? TAKE THEM AWAY AND BURN THEM.
JMP: Sounds like the place to be if your gonads have been chewed off by a snapping turtle.
You can major in moonshining and minor in poaching.
What will they do when that MoFo doesn’t show up at CofO? I hope they have cancellation insurance.
Prommie: Or for burnin’ for the lord (remember Friday?). I heard both Richard Dawkins and JK Rowling sold tons of copies from their Ozarks tours.
Sounds like a lot of work to go through just to have people laugh out loud when they read “Education” on your resume.
Unless, maybe, you’re applying for manager training at “Possum on a Stick” at the local Walmart strip mall.
Texan Bulldoggette: Wait a minute…Columbia or Mizzou? Isn’t Mizzou in Columbia? Being an ag-school grad, I’z confuzed.
chascates: It seems that you can’t major in moonshining. Hell, I doubt they allow root beer on this campus.
ChernobylSoup v2: “The Hockeymom and Bullwinkle Show” = Emmy award.
College of the Ozarks: Ask about out Latin motto contest
I suggest “Salva mi assinus por Christos” or “Saving my ass for Christ”
Y’know, it would be great if the GOP sentenced John McCain to attend all of her speaking engagements. He could use the time to contemplate the error of his ways and the foolishness of picking a running mate based on an afternoon spent by the creek with a young lady half his age who he wasn’t even listening to.
JMP:
Masturbation 101 must be a very popular class.
Interesting.. On the Fall Schedule there is nothing listed between the Beef Cattle Auction on November 28th and the Lighting of the tree on December 4th?? Is this another Hoax on a slow news day?
Psst, Sarah: Convocation = a large formal ass-embly, even a large formal ass-embly for conferring awards. Maybe you won a prize! For sensible quitting = ca$h 4 all. Wear something nice!
Also, it’s not a Provocation, so keep things all kinda “where the heck is this country going anyway?”, but don’t call the President a you-know-what! He’s actually kind of hot!
Best,
Meg
#1 Lowest Acceptance Rate
That’s what happens when the first question on the application form is, “Have you ever had sex?”
comicbookguy: Have you ever had sex with a human being?
/fixed
The only institution of higher learning in American where the entire campus is in a trailer park, the faculty are all missing four upper middle teeth, the football team annually hosts the Skoal Rebel Squeal Like a Pig Bowl, and the fraternity hazing rituals always begin with the phrase “why he’s got a right purty mouth, don’t he?”
They also have a law school where the popular course involves a comparative study of worldwide cousin-marrying statutes.
PuffAdder: Wikipedia says the Ozark Mountain Daredevils made the widely known song “Jackie Blue” and describes their sound as “countrified Steely Dan.”
Will she be bringing her own pastor along with her, or will one of theirs suffice?
As someone who grew up in Mizzurah, I must confess I have never heard of this august institution. They clearly did not advertise on local television like Central Missouri State University.
I believe CMSU’s shot-with-camcorder ads had lines like ‘Central Missouri State University is central to my future laying pipe’ and so forth - so how can the College of the Ozarks compare? And is it part of Silver Dollar City, near the Baldknobbers’ Jamboree?
V572625694: Yeah, but I was just trying to make it sound like MO had more than 1 college….
hobospacejunkie: Servo: I guffawed at these, out loud, like an ass. thx.
Hard Work U’s rarely-glimpsed black student body member — and yes, it’s the basketball photo at the top of the athletics page:
http://www.cofo.edu/athletics.asp
ManchuCandidate: “Following Sarah Palin’s visit, a series of workshops will be held, with exciting panels like ‘Job too hard? Just quit!’ and ‘Flogging Abstinence for Fun and Profit’ also.”
Senile Agitation: Maybe an honorary degree, which would be about as indicative of her level of education as the one she already has.
chascates: Have you ever, or do you wish to in the future, have sex with a human being? Somehow, I think the place would attract a lot of self-loathing closet-cases who would claim “no” on that question.
SayItWithWookies: Boy, their web pages have the design style of a third rate state university, but the school is a stone cold Christer compound. Which explains why they only have one black student. And he’s not allowed to date. Or sit outside his special reserved seat in the back of the classroom.
shadowMark: For real? THEY did Jackie Blue???
Never heard of it.
Prommie: Or Halloween.
Shouldn’t she be speaking at “Quitter U” (TM)?
Accomicbookguy: It’s probably due to the combination of the free application and the free tuition! It’s SOCIALIST U!
I hear Hard Work U has a great double major program in Incest and Bestiality!
OK, after reviewing their web site, the CoO seems to be somewhat less scary than one would first think. I mean, they are close to Branson, which makes this the most god-awful place to put a college town (hey, everyone, let’s go to the Tony Orlando Theater this weekend!). It appears that they aren’t as overtly racist as some of the Christina madrassas of our land. And it appears that students have to work their way through college, perform reasonably well, have at least an adequate SAT score (a shockingly low one is adequate), not get into debt and engage in profligate spending, and take their commitments to the institution seriously.
In other words, would-be students have to display the very opposite qualities of Sarah Palin.
DangerousLiberal: the school is a stone cold Christer compound.
Translation: all the girls are virgins who wear purity rings and think that kissing can get you pregnant, while all the guys alternate between diddling sheep and diddling each other.
Damn, I was hoping that Mooselini would speak at my alma mater, The School of Hard Knocks
chascates: Admission form: Do you plan to have sexual relations while in college? yes/no
Weeds out the fornicators. Graduates go on to write WaPo editorials.
Uh, shouldn’t it be “Hard Work C?” They don’t actually appear to be a university.
queeraselvis v 2.0: You do not know the stone cold-christers very well, I see. Good for you. I cannot bring myself to tell you how this came to be, an episode of insanity, but I was actively involved with the a stone-cold christer high school for a short time.
There are no virgins. In fact. What there are, are pregnancies. Many many pregnancies. Far far more, percentage-wise, than in an atheist liberal public school such as I went to.
They are not taught of sex, they are not taught of birth control, some are even averse to perversions like sucking dick, so they go straight to the fucking. But most interesting is that its part of the retarded and narcissistic nature of pathological christians that they all think they are special. You see, God, Jesus himself, is their own personal buddy, they talk to him all the time, you know, and he tells them what to do all the time. And they are such great friends. So when the young Christer finds his or her loins a-tingling and burning with desire, they never think “oh, this is that evil lust I have been told so much about.” Nope, they think “Hey, this is amazing, this feels so good, this must be some kind of miracle, Jesus must want me to do this, yes, Jesus knows, unlike those evil wanton whores having their dirty sex, Jesus knows that this is different, this is pure holy Christian sex,” and just as when Hot Lips Houlihan and Frank Burns went through the same rationalization (”the lord wants us to be together, Margaret.” “His will be done.”) they come to the conclusion that they are so so very special, that God will allow them to fuck. And they do.
Prommie: If that’s all it takes, I want to become a Christer so where do I join for the holy christian sex - although the evil wanton whores having their dirty sex also sounds quite compelling.
steve: That’s why I want to be a “Sunday Christian.” Best of both worlds.
hobospacejunkie: This shit is already unintentionally funny then you had to top it off with that doozy! I snort-laughed like a piggy.
Quit making fun of our fine institution of higher learning! You are only showing your own ignorance.
Why, just last year the College of the Ozark’s School of Design won the “Whither Smear Award” for originating that inovative little half moom cut-out you now see in the doors of all the finest lines of outhouses.
Joshua Norton: Colledge is da deebil!
SayItWithWookies: rarely-glimpsed black student body member…
Ohhh, I love you for that. Thank you kind sir.
It is a total crap college, but we used to go to that general area in the summer sometimes when I lived in Texas. Missouri has a very nice state parks system and some great places to put those parks:
http://members.socket.net/~joschaper/sprclos.html
Notice that all the student athletes are female, with long, flowing hair. Except for that black dude. Obviously, $P is hoping that once she hhas an honorary degree, they will treat her as a legacy, and her daughters can go to HWU, where they can play sports and never have se
Notice that all the student athletes are female, with long, flowing hair. Except for that black dude. Obviously, $P is hoping that once she hhas an honorary degree, they will treat her as a legacy, and her daughters can go to HWU, where they can play sports and never have sex again.
Sorry for the premature ejaculation, if that happened the way I thought it did…
College of the Ozarks????? You can’t make this shit up. I mean it. If I tried to make it up like in a joke or something, I’d get accused of being a snarky elitist.
marioninnyc: Bob Jones University is pretty ridiculous sounding.
Apparently when you ban homosexuals and are poor and trashy and do not own nice things, this is what your dorms look like:
http://www.cofo.edu/residenceHalls.asp
Evil Dr. Puma: Except then you might want a drink now and then. No drinkin at Jesus school!! Bad fur the character!
I hope you all know that anything with the phrase “of the Ozarks” in it is of the secular devil.
BTW, I was just about to make a joke about Branson, and come to find out this place is literally across the river from Branson. I should have known.
Isn’t “Hard Work U.(c)” backwards? Sounds like a geezer trying to be cool and text.
I am a student at College of the Ozarks and find it appalling in this day and age you make fun of students that can’t normally afford to go to a better college because they will be tied up in debt for the next 30 years. This college is much more strict than say Mizzou, and certainly more strict than community colleges. However, at least we don’t have drunken parties at three in the morning, students actually attend class, and we recieve an education. Added to that, I thought that having Barack Obama as president meant that we were breaking through prejudices and stereotypes? It’s wrong to make jokes about someone’s race, stereotype their beliefs, and even criticize their haircut; but perfectly fine to make fun of the region where they grew up? I think that is called a cheap double standard. I am proud to say that I grew up in Southwest Missouri and perfectly happy to go to school here. At least appreciate that we want to get an education, not end up thousands of dollars in debt, and get a job. You can make fun of Sarah Palin all you want, however, don’t jugde the students that go to school here based on juvenile and silly prejudices you have against the Missouri (and essentially Midwestern) culture.
I am a College of the Ozarks student also and I promise you that when you or your children graduate college and take the next step and find a job, and they are competing against another College of the Ozarks graduate.. they wont have a chance! Colleges of the Ozark students earn more than an education! They grow to become a much better person! We learn what it takes to become successful adults who are not out parting.
The mission of the college is to provide the advantages of a Christian education for youth of both sexes, especially those found worthy, but who are without sufficient means to procure such training. If it was not for College of the Ozarks I would not have the money to go to college and I would be working at some part time job like most of you do. Just so you know here are some things other places have sayed about MY COLLEGE! U.S. News & World Report, “Best College” yearly since 1989;
Templeton Honor Roll, “Character Building College;
Money Magazine’s “Best Buy College Guide;”
Barron’s “300 Best Buys in Higher Education;”
Princeton Review, “The Best 331 Colleges
And many more!
So before you go dissing my college why don’t you think about the good that is bringing to this country! Im sure if you knew you would be amazed! Everything on campus from the flowers to fixing toilets are done by the students. We do work hard and we are proud to claim “Hard Work U” because its true! I just ask of you not to diss the thing that has changed my life and one day will make my future easier!
I think its funny that you criticize CofO students for being “not worthy of going to a better school” such as Mizzou or MSU. I was actually accepted to several top tier schools first seat, but was wait-listed at CofO. Since I want to go to law school, I decided that graduating in the least amount of debt was a good idea. Unlike most American’s who cannot afford to pay the loans that they have taken out and getting us into the financial situation that we are in. Around a month ago, I was talking to the Director of Admissions to Mizzou Law and they said that they would happily accept one of our students over one of their own because CofO students truly show drive and motivation. hm. funny eh?
I too am a student at College of the Ozarks. What right do you guys have to judge our school when you do not even attend here? I guarantee that Sarah Palin is not the only major representative that has spoken at our school.
Others such as:
Former Prime Minister of Israel, Benjamin Netanyahu
Former CIA Director,Robert Gates
Former U.S. Ambassader to the United Nations, John Bolton
Former Prime Minister of Great Britain, Margaret Thatcher
Former President, George H.W. Bush and Former First Lady, Barbara Bush
General Colin Powell
Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich
have also visited and spoken at our college within the last couple decades because they know the opportunites that await here.
We work hard for the education that we receive, and manage to do it in a Christian atmosphere unlike most larger Universities. You may have not heard of our school, but I guarantee most employers have. We do not receive money from the government to keep our school up and going. It is completely based on donations that are graciously given to us by people who truly see what a grace this school is for those who maybe could not afford to go to college otherwise. You see, this school is run by the students; from landscaping, to the 4 star restaurant and hotel, to the dairy and beef farms, to the offices, to the daycare, and everything here. We work for our education and when we graduate, we do not owe the school or banks a penny. If you could get an amazing education from a school that employers strive to hire gradtuates from, would you not be proud to go here too?
Before you judge our school, maybe take the time to think about why someone like Sarah Palin would choose to speak here. Take the time to read into our school, you’ll be amazed I promise you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
U.S. News & World Report Best Colleges Guide 2010
• Ranked C of O #9 Baccalaureate College in the Midwest
• Ranked C of O #1 Lowest Acceptance Rate (for every 1 person who gets in, there are at least 10 more on the waiting list)
• Ranked C of O #1 Least Debt (virtually debt free)
do you guys even know what it is like to get an education…CofO is an amazing college that you should read about. I just got here so you cant say that i am brainwashed. CofO is an inspiration. and how many of you can say that you graduated college debt free? non of you, that is how many.
wow you must really hate your lives to heckle someone else….and at such an immature rate as well I would think you would atleast throw in some intelligant words or something….I guess that just separates those of us who have an education
I also attend CofO, and I would like to point out that the College of the Ozarks students’ posts are more grammatically correct than yours, 12345.. We also have the capacity to spell “intelligent” correctly. Some “education” you have.
That’s funny…a blog made by a liberal…that’s insulting a college that advocates education…Isn’t your idol supposed to like that sort of thing?
Oh well, you poor psycho-hypocrites can go ahead and attend your state colleges where the students spend more time getting pregnant and smashed then actually earning their degree. And I should know…I attended one.
Here’s a bit of advice for you my poor Wonkette since you seem to dislike Sarah Palin so much: Even if we were to have a picture of Barack Obama taking a hit of crack off a hooker while simultaneously punching a baby and kicking a puppy you would still think Palin was Satan.
I hope your subsidized education has taught you to be more than a hypocritical bigot. I’ll take my back-country college anyday, at least I don’t have to deal with too many self-entitled, ego-centric spoiled children like yourself. Grow.Up.
I think this is kind of pathatic for a bunch of mature adults to pick on a school that cares for its students. I mean really do you guys have nothing else to do in your life but to hassel a school that strives to help students and the local community. I doubt Harvard or Princeton or any other Ivy League school cares about its students except to make sure the make their payments on time. College of the Ozarks wants to make sure the students go to class to get their education and even help them find a job where ever they want. Students here have gotten jobs from Bill Gates to famous artists. We as a nation should be proud that there are young adults who are striving to get a higher education in today’s world. At least our name makes sense why would someone want to call themselves Harvard or Mizzou, this school is just as unique as them. This school accepts over 3000 applications a year and only 300 are accepted, that sounds pretty hard selection process. Its sole purpose is to help those in financial need, so sorry if we dont spend hundred of thousands of dollars so we can drink, fornicate, and fail at life. We just want to make something of ourselves and be proud we did it debt free.
The amazing thing about C of O is that we have to actually maintain a job AND grades. Some of us work off-campus as well, because the job on-campus pays solely for tuition. It shows a great amount of dedication, which (I know, this will surprise some of you!!) employers -actually care about!-
We are held to hard standards, yes. We have curfew (not unreasonable, it’s 1 am), we have a dress code, we have to attend the on-campus chapel (for the record, it’s only seven Sundays a semester. I’d be willing to sit through that any day for free education, which isn’t to say that I’m not willing to sit through it anyway), and we have instructors that actually hold us to a certain level. I’m surprised that this seems like such a joke; after all, the success rate of College of the Ozarks graduates is substantially higher than that of most other institutions. And yes, we are “College” of the Ozarks; Hard Work U was a nickname given by the NY Times, not one that was selected by us.
I’m also going to stand and vouch for the slashes taken at home-schoolers. Most of the home-schooled population I’ve met are the most well-educated and open-minded people I know, who value everything that they have and the opportunities they are given because they’re smart enough to know that if something is worth anything, you’ll have to work at it.
PS…speaking as a theatre major, I’d also just like to say that we’re ranked at #7 nationally by Princeton for our theatre program here.
Well as a graduating student at College of the Ozarks, I would have to say I’m offended by these slur of comments about the college. For the person who said that this college was a college for reject students who didn’t get into a state institution is far from correct. This college is considerably harder to get into than your average state college. We are ranked as one of the hardest colleges to get into.
I find it funny that so many people are ranting on the college when the majority of you have no clue. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t agree with everything that the college does, but I would say my time here was well spent. I’ve worked 3 jobs and maintained a 3.8 GPA, more than most of you could say. As CofO Guy says, we are held to high standards in our academics and in our on-campus work.
Something that I’ve learned over the years, being a Mass Communications major, is how media illiterate people are becoming. This only goes to prove that point. One major point we studied was Fox News viewers and how biased media has become. People only take in their “Daily Me”, ideas and media that agrees with their current beliefs.
I like how you guys are going to the website to site your comments. Proof again how anyone can take anything from the internet and make it completely biased.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!
MAY GOD BLESS YOUR SOUL
As Dale Henry would say, “BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART.” Anyone who has been to CofO Character Camp knows what I am talking about!
Wow. I really love how the advocates of the “better schools” such as Mizzou fail to use proper punctuation and grammar, yet every person for CofO seems to have a great handle on the usage of the English language. Coincidence?
I find it astonishing that those of you who have never truly talked with anyone from the Ozarks can make such a prejudiced judgement. Every deparment of our school has a certified genius who was so thouroughly impressed by the students that he or she decided to leave the job that they had (which payed significantly more than any teacher’s salary) just to teach our students. Our physics professor? He was a nuclear physicist before he came here, taking a 30% pay cut. Our head of department in the music department? He composed an entire musical. He also wrote the rest of the play, which was later performed. As far as calling us “dirt poor” and mocking our facilities, the Keeter Center, which is a hotel and restaurant owned by a man that has devoted his life to the school, is a 4 star resaurant, rather than a 5 star restaurant, due to the fact that we are a dry campus. and if you ask 95% of students if we are ok with being a dry campus, you will find that we are positively alright with it. Before you go and judge the lifestyle of someone else, try walking a day in their shoes. Most of us will be the heads of the companies that you will be pushing a mail cart around for some day. Congratulations, Mommy and Daddy paid for your school or you’re going to be paying your tuition for the next 25 years. We, however, will be teaching the work ethic that was (likely) instilled in us since we were young. Have fun with that.
As they say in the deep south, “God love ya!”
I am a College of the Ozarks student and proud to be one. However, I am not one of those Homeschooled kids who “snake-handles.” I have been in public school my whole life and, a little information for you, at least half the campus has been in public school. As far as the home school kids go, well you would have never known they had been. I have met lots of amazing people here who were homeschooled, but do not act like your sterotypical homeschooler that the media protrays.
I chose this school even though I had other offers to other schools. I decided against it because I figured it was the smarter thing to not be in debt and be paying off loans for the next 30 years. As for your Ivy League schools you can have the debt, the sex, the parties, the pregnant girls, and all the booze and drugs you want. While we sit here at our “hillbilly” school, get an education and get the job that you were hoping to have.
The professors and administration actually care about what happens to us in the future. They help us to strive for a good education that we probably couldn’t get anywhere else. The deans here at this school take the time to get to know each and every student and knows us all by name, not as a number or the kid who sits in the back and picks his nose because he is too hungover to realize what is happening.
This school gives us the opportunity of a lifetime. We are able to work to pay our tuition and even have the advantage of getting to work to pay for our room and board. Granted some of the things here are not ideal, but we are here to earn an education not be materialistic.
I am an education major here at CofO; Hard Work U. And yes, someday I may be teaching your children. However, I have the comfort of knowing that once I step off the stage at graduation I will have a secure job some where, because the students here are valued among the schools here in Missouri.
As for the rules that we follow, we don’t mind them. Not having a curfew is a luxury that we all take advantages of, so by placing one on us seems like the end of the world, it isn’t. My question is why would you want to be up in the early morning hours then be sleep deprived the next day? As for the no sexual relations all students here at this school have morals and are glad to wait until they are able to share sex with someone they truely love, not someone they met ten minutes ago.
This school isn’t the reject school you have described. We are all hand picked and the process isn’t easy. We only accept 300 applicants ever semester, we had to meet a certain standard to be accepted here and we are all very proud to know that we have met that standard.
May GOD bless your little hearts.
I find it entertaining to know that our acceptance rate is nearly as low as those of Ivy League schools. Statistics show that for every one of us that was accepted here, there are 10 more wishing that they had. does the response from our student body shock you? It shouldn’t. Loyalty is a valued characteristic to most hiring businesses, so have fun being disrespectful. And before you have to ask, yes, I’ll have fries with that.
Anyone who spends hundreds of thousands of dollars to drink and fornicate while in school is doing it wrong - it’s much cheaper than you think!
Your statement doesn’t even make sense.
Bolton, Thatcher, Gingrich as well as Palin; my imaginary god, the school is more depressing than I thought. Look at all the crazy, right-wing dipshits they’ve had at the school. It’d be truly embarrassing to go to a place that thought these were good speakers.
CommonSense0920: “attend your state colleges where the students spend more time getting pregnant”
Sorry, that doesn’t happen at most colleges. A fundie place probably won’t properly educate you about this, so here goes: you see, there’s these rubber devices that people can use to have sex and avoid getting pregnant. There’s pills, too! There’s very little problems with pregnancy at normal colleges that don’t have ridiculous Victorian rules against sex.
At least out school offers the chance to hear some of the people that we honestly think are in line with out beliefs. Who did you get to speak at your commencement exercise last year? Probably someone that nobody here has heard of nationally. Our college worked to get Huckabee to speak for commencement last year. For most of us, who are typically right-wing, this is a huge deal. Our school sends the musical groups on trips that are 100% covered so that our families don’t have the pressure put on them. How much would each member of your choir have to pay to sing in the national cathedral? To go to Ground Zero? To desire to serve others? Our school makes sure that each of our students pays nothing. Each of you? You would pay roughly $2,500 a piece. And that doesn’t even cover air fare.
Knowledge is good.
Emil Faber
CofOmusic2011: Huckabee? Snort!
Damn, now I gotta go wipe up the tea I just blew through my nose…not to mention the shame of obviously having just waded through flaming bags of poo.
“Our school sends the musical groups on trips that are 100% covered so that our families don’t have the pressure put on them. How much would each member of your choir have to pay to sing in the national cathedral? To go to Ground Zero? To desire to serve others? Our school makes sure that each of our students pays nothing. Each of you? You would pay roughly $2,500 a piece. And that doesn’t even cover air fare.”
Hey Hey!! CofOmusic is apparently in Chapel Choir with me!!
It’s true, though. There are very, very few schools that would even -attempt- to pay for a trip like that. C of O is sponsoring almost sixty students next year, 100% free on behalf of the students themselves, on a trip to DC, Philadelphia, and New York City… Hmmm…that doesn’t sound too Hill-billyish, I hope. Also, the C of O Chorale has traveled all over Europe in past years (though I’m not fortunate enough to have been here at the time). This school truly has a lot of benefits that other schools simply can’t afford (or choose not to, at any rate).
You know who else had free colleges? The state of California, before reagan got through with them…
CofOguy, I will see you in class
even though I’m not 100% sure which of our men you are. Granted, with our ration of men to women, it really narrows it down!
CofOmusic2011: Sorry; but at my undergrad commencement the speaker was then-President Bill Clinton. So yes, bigger than almost all the ones at Bad Pun U, kicked the ass of the only one to reach the same level, and actually worked to make our country better instead of trying to ruin it (or, in the cases of Thatcher and Netanyahu, to ruin the UK and Israel, respectively).
Yes, let’s teach the next generation to go around and have rampant sex with our secretaries behind the backs of the wives! Sounds like a great plan to me. *rolls eyes*
Jim89048: The dirty, socialistic Europeans have free colleges, too; and they don’t even prevent you from having fun, or force you to get up early on Sundays to praise a fictional character.
Oh wow, this is pitiful…hummmm the things that we here at cofo do…we do way more than just sit on our butts and play video games, have sex, and drink. We are VERY proud of our school because of the fact that we can live perfectly normal lives without having to do all that I listed above. Sure we get high from time to time…ON LIFE! We don’t need drugs to make us happy, all we need is God and the people that care enough about themselves not to make their bodies trash! And CofOguy is 100% right about the music department. Me and my friends will be able to go to DC, Philadelphia, and New York, New York with absolutely NO COST to the students. Now how is that you ask? Well, our school did not budget for this but we are just that amazing at praising and worshiping God that people are willing to just give us the money to share God with other people like you apparently need us to.
cofofrosh: You sound very talented. I don’t know that I’d ever manage combining sex, drinking and video games. And please tell me more about the “way more” that you can accomplish while fucking your drunk video games.
JMP: and my undergrad commencement speaker was Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia. I expect ALL Y’ALL have heard of him. I wish I hadn’t, but that’s just me.
I’m glad you guys can get free/cheap education. But a school that teaches you *what* to think rather than *how* to think isn’t worth a damn, no matter how much it costs.
Y’know, I can think of five schools across the country that have free tuition, expect a great deal of hard work from its students, and have very strict rules of behavior (including wardrobe and hairstyle). These free schools are, in spite of all this, very sought after, with a stringent and competitive acceptance process, and generally maintain education programs that seem to be respected by the academic community at large.
How the federal academies manage this without Bible-thumping is beyond me.
It isn’t about what we think, either way, it is clear that we disagree with you and you disagree with us. Why bother writing about a school that is held in high esteem in some trash internet magazine? Not much else to write about these days? Did you run out of celebrities that are drunk or strung out?
CofOmusic2011: Yes, because of course the normal people who enjoy consensual sex when single are all going to cheat on their spouses if/when married. Or wives, I guess, since tellingly you’re only looking at the perspective of straight men (or lesbians, but given the school’s bigotry towards gays I’d guess not). That’s a real eyeroller.
CofOmusic2011: I beg your pardon. Hang around here a little while and you’ll see that we absolutely DO NOT write or comment about celebrities that are drunk or strung out. We write and comment about *politicians* that are drunk and/or strung out.
CofOmusic2011: Have you even looked at the rest of Wonkette? This place makes fun of politicians who are drunk or strung out, not other celebrities.
By the way, how does inviting Gingrich, a man who dumped his first two wives for his mistresses, serving the first one with divorce papers while she was recovering from cancer, square with the moral teachings of Banjo U?
edu@CofO: As for the no sexual relations all students here at this school have morals and are glad to wait until they are able to share sex with someone they truely love, not someone they met ten minutes ago.
And you see, Bristol might have been better off doing the exact opposite. The ten-minutes-ago guy is always the one with the condom.
SayItWithWookies: Ooooh, too bad their Women’s Basketball team isn’t in my fav schools conference. It would be such a pleasure watching them get destroyed by the heathens on UConn’s squad.
And Shadowmark…leave The Ozark Mountain Daredevils out of this–they were once a fun, weird band! LOL.
And oh weee–look at all the new comments! They’ve learned how to use the innerwebs!
Wow I know you CofO folks are passionate about your school and swear on your stack of bibles that it’s an institute of super-awesome-higher learning…but nearly all of you have really horrific grammar and can’t spell for sh*t. What should a prospective employer deduce from that, hmmmm?
CofOmusic2011: I met Madeleine Albright at my school. I got her to sign my copy of Memo to the President. Fuck your noise, you stuck-up fundie prick.
cofofrosh: Wow, a school that has absolutely no diversions or concept of fun. It sounds like one of those youth groups that still plays Duck, Duck, Goose well into their members’ 20s.
CofOmusic2011: Again, we reference Mr. Gingrich.
And no one is really buying that there’s more than one Lazy Ass U. commenter, so you can drop the charade. Ugh, just talking to these people makes me want to get an abortion out of SPITE.
JMP: As for your comment about people at “normal” colleges not getting pregnant may be true… but I laugh at the fact that 3 out of 4 girls have STD’s… isn’t that cute…
and as for everyone else… don’t bother trying to convince these morons that our school is fine… this is “WONKETTE”… a website for people who have no lives, which has no validity and is owned by someone in Hungary… these pansies have nothing better to do than try to hate on our school…
to everyone on this blog that isn’t from C of O…
GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pgmrtate: The 10+ exclamation points has forced me to consider what you say - but before I can comment, “WONKETTE” is forcing me to attend some mandated church services and public toilet cleaning. In Hungary, no less! brb
pgmrtate: 3 out 4 girls have STD’s what? You’re missing the noun there; any possessive, which the use of an apostrophe indicates, needs an object. And who is STD, anyway?
As to what you were trying to say with your bad grammar, making up statistics doesn’t make them so; that number is just plain bullshit, as much as claims that normal college girls are always getting pregnant.
Nice for you to call everyone “pansies”, a slur used by bigots against gay people. Do you even realize how you come off as a nasty homophobe when you try to insult people by calling them gay?
And I have a life, thank you very much. One that even sometimes involves alcohol and sex; the horror! But doesn’t involve living according to stupid, arbitrary rules just because they’re given in some old book.
Oh no! Another CofO student comment! I go to College of the Ozarks and its not that bad. When I found out about Sarah Palin speaking here it was just something to talk about. I could care less that she is speaking because I hate politics in general. However, I didn’t expect for the news of it to become a big topic like it is. Oh well. I will say that College of the Ozarks is a great place to go to get a free education. I like to go out and drink and have a good time. This school has normal kids in it just like a university does.
jmp and the rest of you liberals…what the hell is wrong with you guys? what did cofo ever do to you guys? how immature are you that you have to put down our school?does it make you feel better about yourself? Low self-esteem?Is that it? what is this country coming to when we have people like you who get off on making fun of small colleges? You make me want to puke…
mvp: Making fun of small colleges isn’t all that interesting. Making fun of small college that are trying to pretend to be a big college by inviting something between a has-been and a never-was to speak, now there’s your comedy!
Maybe next year CofO can book Joe the Commencement Speaker!
haha cofo isn’t trying to be a “big college” dumbass…we’re a small college who can get well known people to come to the school to speak..lets look outside of politicians for a second.. do you know who coach k is?Dukes basketball coach? when he retires he will be know as the best college basketball coach that has ever coached the game.. he spoke at cofo 5 years ago.. is he a has been or never was? mike huchabee was a has been or never was? governor of arkansas and finished 2nd in primaries last year..so what if he wasn’t the president of the USA like the ALMIGHTY BILL CLINTON…huckabee is a great man and a very good spearker….and making fun of cofo isnt that interesting????explain all those jackass comments you made about us being back wood and imbread? wasnt interesting? then why comment on it at all?
mvp: “lets look outside of politicians for a second”
Wrong website.
If they want to have someone come speak at their school it does not matter that they are a small college? Just because a speaker is coming does not mean that the college is trying to get recognition. Colleges have speakers all the time. And i do not see what is wrong with the college making their kids work. I dont even see why people would get upset about how the school runs because if you dont go there then it doesnt effect you so why do you care? If you are making fun of the school then you obviously have no life that you have to make fun of other people. there is nothing wrong with the school. saying bad things about the people that go there is just immature. So stop commenting unless you actually have something mature and constructive to say.
“mike huchabee was a has been or never was?”
Let’s see, he has been Governor of Arkansas, and never was the GOP nominee for president, so… yeah. Compared to Palin, he’s less of a has-been (served out his terms) but more of a never-was (not in the general election) than her.
“explain all those jackass comments you made about us being back wood and imbread?”
Because inviting Huckabee to be your inspirational speaker wasn’t enough of a low-point. Having future Ignobel Prize for Literature Winner Sarah Palin speaks volumes about your educational standards and expectations, and unfortunately for you those volumes aren’t picture books. Maybe you can next invite Romney to give you some inspirational words on animal rights.
“then why comment on it at all?”
Because America’s Half-Assed Governor is supposedly going to speak. Contrary to popular belief, Wonkette doesn’t yet have a weekly “Mock A Diploma Mill” feature. Perhaps they’ll use it to replace “Wag the Bog” after Intern Riley finally begins puberty.
Thank you dixie kid!!!! I went to cofo, and was kicked out. Guess what? I came back. If I were strictly here because of my financial need, I wouldn’t go back to this school. I would have gone home to a community college. Instead, I decided to come back because I believe in the ideals and ethics of the school. I believe in a class that I can walk into, and not be afraid to ask if we can open in prayer. I have been to the other side of the tracks. I’ve experienced sex and alcohol, and a “free” education is worth much more to me than those things The people here have taught me to respect my body, and taught me what true love is. When I was told by a doctor that I needed glasses, I called my dad to ask him for help in paying them. He told me that he and his wife are filing bankruptcy and wouldn’t be able to pay for them. When I told my work supervisor of this, he made a phone call, and in five minutes, I was told that I wouldn’t have to pay anything for them. You call it socialist, I call it love and selflessness. Two things that this country needs badly. I can walk in my professor’s office any time to talk to them about anything, whether it be personal or academic. Can you do that? I bet the dean of your college has no idea what your name is. I have a dean’s cell phone number, and have eaten dinner with them at their house. Our administration actually wants to know who we are. When I walk across that stage on graduation day, I will be proud to hold that diploma with a College of the Ozarks seal on it because I worked for it.
cofopride: AMEN!!!
If the school is so unassailable, why all this astroturf?
I have been to the other side of the tracks.
He was born a poor black child in Mississippi.
FUCK COFO
Just kidding …..just trying to get your attention
Most everyone on this is throwing names and cuss words back and forth, which is chill, if this was the Olympics and there was a new event named: Big Ass Brawl.
I have resided in the gates of opportunity and I’m appalled at the blind defense that my fellow students are giving for the college. I know several of the students commenting, and they hate the school, but they are defending it because they feel comments made on this are against the students.
First of all, the students at CofO are often kids from hard working families in the poor class or lower middle class that are trying to get an education and this is the best way that they’ve found. Labeling them cousin fuckers and backwards hillbillies is no worse than me calling people nigger or faggot or anything else I can come up with. So, those of you on the Left Wing get off your goddamn high horse, thinking you have some moral superiority and you butter yourself up by being proud you are being tolerant. Tolerant of who? Pious fucking gas bag.
Most of the kids here are good kids trying to live the American dream. A lot drink, a lot have sex and so on. These are normal kids. We are not angelic and have not achieved a higher level or morality than surrounding schools, contrary to what some students on this state. We have the whole mix of kids. Good Christians, fakes, kids not into religion, jocks, aggies, preps, rockers, nerds and so on.
But I’d like to give an honest perspective on CofO.
1st: I’m writing this from an off campus location, so that the college doesn’t track me down and kick me out. Where is the freedom of speech in that? How exactly is this upholding the constitution? CofO claims to be conservative and Christian. I thought Christians were free in Christ, and I thought conservatives fought for free speech? There is a section in the new student handbook according to the school newspaper that in order to post things on the internet about CofO, you need prior written approval from administration. North Korea, China, and Iran have a similar policy and they block certain anti-government sites. So does CofO.
2nd: CofO isn’t conservative, they just say they are to take some old ladies’ money to pump into their public relations department, while the dorm rooms rot so that they can bring donors in to show them the “horrible” conditions so that the donors give more money so that they can bring in heavy hitter speakers so that they look good so that they get more money blab la bla. These old people have saved their whole lives and they want to help down to earth folks like themselves. They give their money to this school instead of to their children through an inheritance, and the school spends it on giving the president of our school an airplane so he can fly back and forth to basketball games and pays for security to drive around all day and give student’s tickets and pays for brand new potted flower plant arrangements for the Honor Lake which isn’t a lake, it’s the size of my bathtub, but the lake and the swan are as much of a holy site as mecca is. These people have no clue what their money goes for. CofO kept a kid from participating with his church in a day of silence for the unborn because “that isn’t professional.” Is that conservative?
3rd: Cofo isn’t Christian. They kicked a kid out of chapel who didn’t even go to school, who wasn’t even a Christian because he “didn’t look appropriate.” Jesus ate with tax collectors and prostitutes and you won’t even let a kid in church? There is a giant stained glass painting of Jesus in the chapel with long hair. Jesus took the Nazarite vow and part of that vow is growing your hair out. If Jesus came on campus, he wouldn’t be allowed in church most likely because he didn’t dress right. Maybe if he only looked more professional. Professionalism is CofO’s God. It’s their idol, and so their little prayer before meals….well I doubt God listens to it.
4th: The board of trustees is sequestered from students and so the administration calls all the shots and there is no higher authority. The handbook isn’t a constitution, it can be changed at will by any dean at any time without prior approval or vote by a board. If a student is called in and told to do something that isn’t in the handbook, the dean says “well there is a clause if we deem so necessary we can change something.” So, in other words this is by no means a constitutional republic, this is a dictatorship where the whim of the powerful is obeyed. But wait, am I going a little too far. NO! IT ISN’T THEIR GODDAMN MONEY BEING SPENT. It is some old ladies money intended to go to a poor college student. Instead it goes to some fat slush fund held by little self elected gods who give it to poor students if they do this and that and this and that. The board of trustees has no real knowledge of what goes on. No student knows the board and no student could approach the board with problems.
5th: CofO is a socialist dictatorship. We live in a fenced in place where we all are guaranteed a job, and we all must show up to work. We can’t choose our job like a free market even if there is abuse in the workplace, which happens often (yelling, verbal abuse, grabbing, and sexual advances, but who does admin believe? the student’s word or the bosses word). We are given housing where we can’t control the heat or cold, where we have restrictions on how the furniture can be arranged. What the fuck does that teach us? Not to be adults, it teaches us to have someone else make our decisions, and kids who graduate aren’t ready for the real world. We have socialized health care where we all pay a fee for a hospital where it doesn’t matter if you have AIDS or the common cold, you get Nyquil or some extra strength fever reducer knock off brand bullshit that you still have to pay for. So wait, what exactly was free there, and we can’t see another doctor until we get it okayed through the clinic. The nurses aren’t authorized to give you anything stronger than chicken noodle soup. We have a security system on campus that is designed to serve and protect. But they are so damn fat they can’t catch stalkers, they couldn’t catch recent thieves, and they never give people rides or protect their cars from getting broken into. Instead I think most students if they were being honest would say the most interaction they’ve had with security is getting a ticket for parking in some place they had no clue was illegal. But hey, you can repeal the ticket in a Student Supreme Court that you don’t know where it meets and you have no clue who is on it. They drive around and waste gas and make us feel nervous and give us tickets, but I’d feel safer guarding my own stuff than having their no weapon policy on campus and them protecting our stuff. Because dozens of ipods, computers, sound systems, and other personal belongings get stolen all the time and they can’t do shit about it.
6th: Students get kicked out and drop out so often that by the time of graduation almost 25% of all students in the graduating class are gone. If you decide you wanted to go to a different school once you realize that CofO didn’t tell you what it’s really like, it’s too late. Most students lose their scholarships to other schools when they turn them down to get the free education that costs $5,000 a year for room and board, ohh and then there are incidental fees, and tickets, and books, and food, and if you don’t bank enough hours you have to pay for them too, even though the college got grant money from the government for you to go to CofO. But you don’t get that money, they do. Where does the government get the money….from the tax payer. So you as the tax payer are actually paying for my “free” education, and these rules and the ability for CofO to kick kids out of church for not wearing the right outfit and so am I. Once you make enough rules, even law abiding students are criminals.
I’m sure you can find problems with my grammar and with my logic and I’m sure there are more stories out there about how people have been hurt by CofO. But I don’t want their side of the story to stay silenced. That is why I have spoken out, for the people whose lives have been altered in a negative way by CofO. That is priceless. The people who will never darken the halls of a church again because of the hypocrisy of administration and the church on campus. That is priceless.
Schedule for spring 2010:
Marketing- 3 hours
Management- 3 hours
International economics- 3 hours
Tax accounting- 3 hours
Money and banking- 3 hours
Lodge Management - 4 hours
History since 1666- 3 hours
Modern Ideals of Character- 3 hours
This is the schedule I needed to graduate on time. As you can see, I could not find time for Banjo 101…
WOW! still fighting over surface argument name calling issues…..has no one read my post? Read it please! I want an actual fight over real everyday issues.
First off, this is just too humorous. Some of these comments don’t even make sense. I looked into this website/blog site more and it IS about politics. So again, why are we discussing the rules and regulations of a college that the majority of you didn’t even know about until Sarah Palin entered the picture? Interesting. I respect those students from College of the Ozarks who did defend the institution. Good for you. You have been giving a great opportunity in being accepted into the college and you appreciate it. You will be blessed for that. It is a private school. so they can have whatever rules they want. It is a Christian school. So they can have rules based on Christianity and the Bible. When students start the admission process into C of O, they are reminded over and over and over and over again about the rules and policies of the school. If you don’t get that, then don’t go there! Simple. Heck, you’re graduating from an accredited institution for FREE. You will have the same degree as any public school out there. Futhermore, I think it’s a real accomplishment for the school to have been able to book someone such as, Sarah Palin. They must have some real great connection down in those sticks…
One last point. And this is in defense to the women’s basketball team. For those of you who don’t know, College of the Ozaraks’ women’s team is one of the most recongized team at the national level at NAIA Divison II. In the last four years, they went to the Final Four. Three out of the four years, were National Runner-Ups. Oh yes, and their coach was inducted into the Missouri Sports Hall of Fame a couple years ago. Yes, the women’s athetic teams have great hair, but more importantly, they also play some great ball.
Oh and SilentMajority. Yes, people have read your post. And you are correct in saying that people will be able to find problems with your logic. There are just too many incorrect facts about your points, that it would be pointless, for me to point them out. I hope maybe one day you will realize that the school does more positive things for you than negative.
Oh, I’m sorry to all of you left-winged people that I offended, but look, oh my goodness, who else is being offensive? So I didn’t look at the rest of this trash site to see what it is all about. It happens. Most of you didn’t look at the entirety of my school’s web site either. You didn’t talk to students and see what we really are like. You made rash judgments about a school that you had never even heard of until someone that you deemed unfit decided to speak there. So she doesn’t agree with you and she’s a bit of a dipstick. It happens. Seems like several of you are just a bunch of uneducated numb skulls that feel like putting your two cents in where it doesn’t belong. Move on already and learn the facts before you judge us.
1cofo: ” I looked into this website/blog site more and it IS about politics. So again, why are we discussing the rules and regulations of a college that the majority of you didn’t even know about until Sarah Palin entered the picture?”
Because Sarah “Twitter Quitter” Palin might make an appearance there, thus making it a subject of political interest. Duh.
So much for the vaunted quality of the education at C of O. I was expected to be able to do this sort of elementary logic before I got into college. Stop wasting my tax dollars by making a damnfool of yourself on the intertubez and hit the books.
It IS about politics.
The College tries to promote one political view. That’s why the college only has right wing speakers. Look at the list. Paying $100K for Sarah Palin to promote her political views and book probably would have Leonard Gittinger (the man who left the money to the college) spinning in his grave!
“Silent Majority” pretty much has the institution nailed. It is possible to attend without getting brainwashed, but you have to get much of your education on your own and out of the classroom.
dmfd: You’ll do well there! You sound just like many of my classmates. Just don’t let the college brainwash you or “corrupt” you–or make you go negative about it. Get what you can from it, and then get on with your life. Most of my good professors left or were fired during the “Great Purge” by Jerry Davis, when the School of the Ozarks ceased to be a liberal arts college and became “College of the Ozarks” and a Right Wing mouthpiece and Republican Factory.
cofopride:
Most of the good students I knew were kicked out or transfered (if they were able). Those who came back after being kicked out bit their tongue and would “grin and bear it,” just to get the B.A. degree, OR they became “true believers” and butt kissers. There are an amazing number of students I know who used SofO as a jumping off place for a real career, but they washed their hands of the college after they walked across the stage after enduring the usual right wing commencement speaker (who needed an honorary degree because he/she couldn’t earn one). Of course, the college would never be interested in them anyway (unless they became really rich or a Republican!).
Formerly Preferred:
They took over the name “College of the Ozarks” when “College of the Ozarks” in Arkansas decided to start calling itself “University of the Ozarks.”
What’s in a name? Who knows! I bet if you had $50 million to get rid of, they’d re-name it again.
I’m glad to see so many of my fellow students on here. Good job, guys!
And you know what? I can guess who three or four of them are, pretty easily. The upside of going to a small college, you get to know everyone.
For those who are saying College of the Ozarks is for people who can’t go anywhere else - not true. I had Evangel, Drury, and Missouri State all sending me offers. However, even with scholarships, I couldn’t afford to go to any of them - and I didn’t want to. I wanted a smaller school that encouraged studying. I’m spending four years of my life to get an education. If I want to party afterwards, that’s my choice, but right now, my education needs to take priority. I’ve been on the Dean’s List five of my eight semesters here, missed out on it one semester by .02, and was overloaded with lab classes/writing intensive classes the other two. I’ve had an excellent GPA and an excellent education. The professors are not “rejects” from other colleges - they’re high quality men and women who believe everyone should get an education. Anyone who has a discussion with Dr. Head would see he’s an incredibly intelligent man and probably the best loved professor in the English department for a reason. Dr. Niboh is freakin’ BRILLIANT. When I had Math Inquiry and was struggling with concepts, Al Waller met with me and worked with me until I got it. Many departments are fairly informal; the art department and agriculture department call their professors by their first names. I took Buchan’s web site design class, and he’s encouraged me to keep in touch with him and tell him how I’m continuing to progress. I mentioned to my work supervisor that I wanted another computer monitor, and not two weeks later, he told me there was one in the computer lab for me to try, and if I liked it I could have it for $10. Ms. Jesse knew I wanted to continue my voice lessons, but I couldn’t get into applied voice on my own because I wasn’t a music major or minor, so she arranged to get me in. Roy Johnson is going to be the first person EVER to retire from the agriculture faculty, come June 1. He’s been teaching here since 1972, only a couple years after the program was founded. Herb Keith has been here since 1970, Dan Swearengen since 1977, and until recently, Bryan Oetting and Donn Russell were the “new guys” in the department - they came in 2009. The only faculty members we’ve lost were Marvin Oetting (died in a plane crash in 1999) and Tom Smith (died of cancer, 2008).
Are there some bad apples? Yes. Are there professors who are horrible teachers? Heck yes. Anyone in business classes with M would agree that said M is not a great professor. But even the bad professors are incredibly nice people.
Do the students mindlessly agree with all the rules and policies because that’s what we’re supposed to do? No. In fact, quite often, we get pretty irritated when they come up with new rules. There was a big uproar over changes to the dress code recently. We’re not being brainwashed here - if you don’t want to follow the rules (that you are informed of long before you even set foot on campus) you can leave, and there are students every semester who do.
Do we get tired of being the butt of “hillbilly” jokes? Yep. Are we sick of being a tourist attraction? Personally, heck yes. But the income from the tourists helps keep us here, so I guess we can’t complain too much. And as far as I’m concerned, the Hard Work U slogan is WAY overused.
We even have - gasp! - a College Democrats club. And as a general rule, we don’t ostracize the members.
I have spent four years at CofO. I’m so glad I came. I’m dreading December 18, the day I leave my lovely (albeit small) room here in Mabee for the last time.
So…fellow students, know who I am? Graduating in December, Animal Science major, living in Mabee. Give me a shout in the caf.
Wow, I know who that last one was. I was able to guess at the part about Ms J and the voice lessons. Which teacher in the business department are you talking about? Mulinax, Mahlman, or Moody? Haha gotta love the business classes. I’m pretty sure you’re talking about Mulinax though. Anyhow, I couldn’t be more sick of the stupid “Ride the Ducks” coming through campus and quacking at every student they see going to class or work.
As far as us being riled about the dress code policy that they’ve started enforcing, it’s quite true. A lot of students here have broken the dress code, much like myself, and are quite good at hiding it. See a dean? Take out those top earrings! Tattoo on your arm showing and the dean is coming around the corner? Grab a friend by the arm! We’re very good at hiding our skeletons. Who would have guessed?!
Look, I’m not saying I’m thrilled with all the rules here. I’m not even saying that there aren’t rules that I would change. But consider this: I will be graduating with zero debt. That’s right, ZERO debt. There will be some students from here that do graduate with loans, yes, but those debts will be minimal compared to most other colleges and universities.
Would you be willing to put up with sitting through roughly 20 hours of convocations and chapels a semester to get a solid education for next to nothing? Regardless of whether you agree with what is said at those chapels and convocations, the bottom line is that you’re getting a top of the line education and not paying much of anything for it.
Like I said, I don’t agree with some of the rules. I don’t agree with some of what is said at the other events we are required to attend. But I chose to attend this college because of the opportunities that are offered here. Nothing is ever truly free. In the case of this college, they ask us to conform to what they consider an ideal student in exchange for a stellar education where they pick up a huge chunk of the price of attending here. Nobody is forced to attend here, and the college is very upfront with what the rules and expectations are. Once you graduate, you can live your life however you see fit. But until then, they are sponsoring your education and as a result, they ask that you follow certain guidelines. That seems like a pretty fair exchange to me.
You know…you can make fun of the name, the location, the students, the rules, and anything else you want. But here’s the bottom line:
When you’re still paying money on your upper five and maybe even six figure loans that you took out just to get through undergraduate school, I will be able to attend a master’s program where, depending on how much I’m being paid at whatever job I’m at, I may or may not have to take out a loan. I will be getting my master’s degree for roughly what you paid for a mere undergraduate degree.
Nice, isn’t it?
SilentMajority: Yes, you have some valid points, but the bottom line is that you are getting a decent education at a greatly reduced cost. There’s lots of problems at any college you care to name.
You are complaining about 5,000 a year? Are you serious?! Even if you add in the incidental fees, books, etc., etc., the cost of going to this school is still under 7,000 a year. Unless your books are really, really…REALLY expensive. Have you ever looked into the cost of attending a different school? Even a state school like MSU? 7,000 wouldn’t even BEGIN to cover even one semester there, let alone an entire year.
Look, I hear you on most of your complaints. Some of them echo my own. But I still recognize what this college is providing for me and am grateful for it. If you truly feel this way about the college, either go to one of the Deans with your complaints or go to a different school.
I’m a current student at College of the Ozarks and I find what you have to say utterly appalling to say the least. How dare someone degrade students less fortunate. How low must one stoop to merely prove a ridiculous and irrelevant point? Is this the, “Let’s see who is able to create the cruelest and immoral joke about CofO!”? I’ll admit, what you state is extremely laughable. Obviously, you’re oblivious to Hard Work U. Sure, you’re aware it is indeed called that but that’s nearly all according to this page. I honestly wish not to combat all of your rather unnecessary and rude remarks, but it simply offends me to read such things about a place that has graciously given so much to so many people like myself. Yes, we do receive a free education. But, guess what? We actually, believe it or not, WORK for it. And in an economy such as this, who wouldn’t jump on such an opportunity? (Your comments concerning bestiality and incest are down right hilarious, though false.) Those unable to conquer such a degree of campaign inevitably aims to solely discriminate the opposition. I hope you all had quite the laugh. Sure, this isn’t the perfect college and yes, there are some rather controversial rules but there are reasons for such; reasons you’re likely unaware of.
We’re human. We all stand for something another hates. Yes, Palin may believe in concepts many fail to understand, but look at what good as come of her. You’ll finally discover the breakthrough. We’re both good and evil, smart and stupid, kind and repulsive. This world isn’t black and white. You see only the tone you wish to see.
So I ask you kindly, see the truth in this place and have a heart. Learn your facts and be an INDIVIDUAL. I know it’s fun to go along with these sorts of remarks, but THINK about what you’re saying. It makes you look absurd when you do not.
I am a student at COFO. IT is full of homeschool retards and fat girls who have never seen the sun. the pregnancy rate is sky high along with the drop out rate, and there are many of us who slips through the interviews and get accepted…oh and we like to party.
Message to Cutthroat:
#1 You’re correct concerning there are many home school students here, but they’re not retards. In fact, they’re of the upper majority of the most intelligent.
#2 I have YET to see a single pregnant female on campus. Perhaps you’re mistaken.
#3 The drop out rate is merely equal to the average college drop out rate.
#4 You have nearly an 8% chance of being accepted, making it easier to get into Harvard, Liberty, or Princeton University than into CofO. I doubt the college with the lowest acceptance rate in the nation would allow many individuals to “slip” on in.
#5 We were named “The Number 1 Stone Cold Sober College” in the United Sates, so no, we do NOT like to party.
Next time, Cutthroat, try to be a bit more credible. You sound ridiculous.
The pregnant girls are kicked off campus you douche. this pace is all about looks. you think the school will admit that people partying here? get real.
oh ya and define intelligence…..Is intelligence walking out in front of moving vehicles with thinking if the driver is watching or not? Is intelligence having a complete lack of communication skills? including; staring at the sidewalk as if you want to disappear when someone walks by you? I will be the first to admit that COFO is a great oppurtunity, but don’t be so close minded and naive as to think that this is a stone cold sober school. If you have not been exposed to this than you have obviously spent your semesters tucked away in your dorm with your cushion of homeschool approved materials and people. look around sometime and you will see the puke on the ground on the path from the parking lots. do you think all these people got food poisoning? or how about you check the trash cans in the softmore and freshman lots. they are packed with empty bottles and cans. do you not remember half of the basketball and most of the baseball team getting kicked out for having a party. tell me no one drinks here. do you not remember all the chapel Choir students that were kicked out last year for drinking on a school sponsored trip. Tell me no one drinks. and to address the pregnant issue again. i can think of five unmarried girls off the top of my head that are or have been pregnant in the last year and a half. so don’t be so ignorant as to tell me that no one gets pregnant here. According to “Options Pregnancy Center” in branson, many COFO students come to them every year. tell me no one gets pregnant. It is sad to see that you have been sheltered so much that you cannot see the truth. It must be nice living in your utopia….for now. But wait till you get into the real world. you will have a rude awaikening. Don’t talk to me about credibility…rankings don’t tell the whole story. looks are everything. If a place looks good they will get more money. I am not challenging that this is important, but that you shouldn’t be blind to it.