Wonkette
Meet “Col. Lou Huddleston.” He is running for Congress in North Carolina against Democratic incumbent Larry Kissell! But if “Col. Lou Huddleston” shuts his eyes and wishes hard enough and promises to be really really good, he’s 50% positive he can actually run against Nancy Pelosi.
See, if people think that picture of Nancy Pelosi is unflattering enough, then it’s eventually going to reflect pretty badly on Larry Kissell. Why didn’t Larry Kissell gently remind Nancy Pelosi to wear sunblock every day, even when it’s overcast? Why wouldn’t Larry Kissell have fixed Pelosi’s hair right there by the cowlick in the front? Therefore, by the transitive property, Lou Huddleston gets to be Speaker of the House. Let’s sign this petition immediately.
[NO MORE NANCY via Glenn Thrush]
Oh, that Nancy. So darn evil with her wanting people to have health insurance and such.
Huddleston? I say Cuddleston!
Huddleston/Palin 2011!
Yet another case of geographic dissonance because U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as, uh, South Africa and, uh, the Iraq, everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future, for our . .
Oh. Shit. That was South Carolina. I get the two mixed up because as a U.S. American, I don’t have a map…
Republicans and Democrats agree: Col. Lou Huddleston is a tool.
Actually, Nancy’s case of early morning bed head looks kinda sexy in that shot. The rest, not so much.
Huddleston looks like Lex Luthor’s ineffectual, younger (gay) brother.
If he really wanted to defeat Nancy Pelosi, he’d move to San Francisco and run against her there. They LOVE Army guys in San Francisco.
Oh, and is it permissable in the given context to point out that the esteemed colonel is coming across as a rather angry person of color? I WANT MY CUNTRY BLACK!
Gah, there’s nothing worse than a retired colonel. Couldn’t make general so had to leave the army. Then they think it’s their god given right to know everything. Kind of like a retired middle management guy going around telling folks how corporations should be run.
Yes! Down with Pelosi and her war-mongering, torture-loving ways!
I hate this shit that we have to be supportive of creepy Nancy Pelosi because creeps like this Huddleston character also think she’s horrible, but they’re even creepier than she is, and hate her because they think she’s like us, you know, liberal and stuff, and she’s really not, like not even close, I mean she let their guy off and didn’t even START an impeachment, what the hell more do they want, she is to the Democrats what Michael Steele is to black people.
Still, this Huddleston guy is a maroon.
This love child of Michael Steele and Orly Taitz has no chance against Pelosi’s gaze of steel.
That photo makes me like Nancy Pelosi for the first time ever. Someone I could have a beer with.
You’d think a candidate, (US Army Ret.), a Republican one at that, would know in the U.S. of A. we have two major political parties, Republican(t) and Democratic. Not “Democrat”. I don’t care what the wingnuts think, it makes them look ignorant, (more so).
No worries. These Southern dinguses are no match for Nancy’s depilatory-wilting MOUSTACHE OF LIBRUL SODOMETRIES.
This guy is running against Pelosi in North Carolina? He probably thinks wheeling out the boogeyman will work, just as he thinks that every bum’s lot in life is not his own responsibility regardless of whom he chooses to blame. He didn’t blame anyone for the loss of his legs, some chinaman in Korea took them from him but he went out and achieved anyway.
bureaucrap: haha good one.
HoboNutz: Non-governor and the non-general. They’re both quitters who refuse to drop their former titles.
sexists.
I like your website design, former Colonel Huddleston. I like the unearthly sheen of your pate.
But like most Americans, I’m looking for wealthy Jew skills in any future Speaker, especially one from the Carolinas. Until you can show me that your penny care leads to dollar self-sufficiency, I just can’t get behind your candidacy.
So this Republican’s running against Nancy Pelosi, but in North Carolina, and co-opting the support of an Alabama Democrat? Because he’s an American. I guess that makes all the rest of us Swedes, French and Mexicans or something. And as for this:
Pelosi has used her Speakership to strong-arm her radically liberal policies through Congress with complete disregard for building bipartisan coalitions around common sense ideas.
Hell, I’d vote against her precisely because she hasn’t done that.
Guess his focus groups didn’t like the Dead Kennedy strategy.
“Col. Lou” so wants to “do” her, and really who can blame him. Dammit Nancy! Call me! Whaaaaaa
Norbert: A beer and a handful of valium.
I checked the 8th district of my native state out and discovered that it includes many important landmarks. Nancy Pelosi has a diabolical plan to capture Biscoe, Star, Albemarle, and possibly the Rockingham Speedway!
Lt. Col. (U.S. Army Ret.) IS more nancy.
Scrodd: That little slut Pelosi probably kidnapped herself.
hunter.blatherer: No need to forge a valium scrip, just tell her to bring Harry along, same effect.
That may not be the most flattering picture of Pelosi ever taken, but Huds is no looker himself. If I had children, I wouldn’t let them within 500 feet of him.
Methinks that photo hath been photoshpped. The black under her eyes? Also he uses the conservatard adjectival for big “D” Democratic that is “Democrat” as in “Democrat Congressman”.
user-of-owls: Kill the poor? Lynch the landlord?
No snark, and from some leftist, liberal Democrats here: It’s no mystery that Nancy Pelosi–regardless of her political policies and views–has one of the more uncomfortable, unsettling and devisive personalities and presences on Capital Hill–and she has only herself and her staff to blame. She doesn’t communicate well, she doesn’t talk well in public, she doesn’t express her ideas well, and she just plain comes across as cold, uncaring and unlikeable–even if all of that is not even true! And, unfortunately, it’s affecting how she operates in Congress. Again, her political views and stances may be dead-on, but this is one case (and Hillary Clinton is another case) where personality, presence and how you speak and deal with people trumps your political standpoints. It’s sad, but it’s true.
I think I’m moving to Greenland. There are very few people there.
thefrontpage: Maybe, but isn’t it interesting that the lack of likability or coming off as cold and uncaring is a liability for female politicians but doesn’t seem to have much of an effect on the perceptions of male politicians. Double standard much?
AnnieGetYourFun: “NO MORE HANS ENOKSEN!!”
Nancy is a good ol southern girl from Maryland.
she could kick his ass.
SayItWithWookies: You’re deliberately understating the connection here. There’s also the Kevin Bacon thing.
I wish I could find these god damned radical agendas that are all over the America place right now. Things seem to be the same as they were in the early 2000s, pretty un-radical.
thefrontpage: And in fairness to Col. Cuddleston, many of our shiny new Democratic congresspersons got into office at least partly by running against Geo. W. Bush.
So, the same shrill illogic that’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
What I bet you people didn’t know is that COLONEL Lou “FREEDOM” Huddleston can literally lift Nancy Pelosi over his head, which means that he wins.
WadISay: In which case, Huddleston would probably mention Una Chaplin, one of the few people in film to have no connection to Kevin Bacon. Because that’s how sharp this man’s mind is.
Whatsamatter, Colonel? Didn’t suck enough cock to make general & now you think you’re gonna get elected as a black republic? Ha ha ha ha ha ha…
Nice use of Army colors in his campaign materials. Very subtle.
Ask me a question and I shall reply/
Huddleston, Huddleston/
Huddleston Pie!
JeffGoldblum: Yes, but Nancy Pelosi could spike him in the family jewels with her Manolos. Nancy 1, Colonel 0.
Name-calling and acting like brat is sure going to show how the leadership of the party you are running against is divisive.
thefrontpage: OK, but I still want to put my head in her lap. With milquetoast Harry Reid so delicately manning the main turrets, we need a loose cannon to make sure we hit something, sometime.
So does this mean that if we put out ads with pics of Newt and the Gieco Gekko, all the republix will just die immediately? Just askin.
Does Sweet Lou not know he has to spend every dime of his self funded “campaign” against the crazy Nazi D’Crazio?
God, I’d love to be a fly on the wall of the Republican National Screw This Let’s Go Get a Beer Committee right now.
Steele saying what up!? White guy that actually still runs things saying sit down!
Go Lou! Go Lou! It’s your birthday. Go Lou. Say hey to those Stanly County Republicans for me.
You gone win. Good times!
PabaBritannica: Don’t forget Kannapolis. Nancy needs to develop her NASCAR driving skills and start smoking Phillip Morris cigarettes to pull this off.
It’s probably worse than we think! he probably retired “Lieutenant (Light) Colonel and just uses the generic “Col.” to bullshit us into thinking he could suck enough cock to make full Colonel. Nothing worse than an inadequate cocksucker-might as well have Bush Back in office.
You people have no respect for BLACK Ops consultants. Oh, did I say black?
Still! And Also.
This is just one more way, albeit piecemeal, to get more troops!
Ya’ll, he’s right. The Speaker of the House has experienced the life change. She’s ugly now. Unlike Lou’s “svelt wife.
What an unChristian tool Huddelston is for this attack.
Silly white girl. Trying to run the House.
Dominate Congress? The only thing Nancy dominates is Harry Reid, and that’s because puppies and flowers and fairie sprites dominate Harry, too. The problem isn’t that Nancy’s too weak, it’s that Harry Reid won’t stand up to my seven year old’s temper tantrums–that is, if my 7 y.o. declared himself to be a Republican.
I think the Congresswoman from the Mission District is pretty safe in her seat, frankly.
Quit helping! Don’t ya’ll dumbtard libruls know that sweet Lou, the black ops consultant, is running against the “ultra librul” Kissell.
Lou’s just takin’ our Country back. For Haliburton.
Stupid white people.
You down with G O P? Yeah, you know me!
Even though Barry squeaked out a win here in NC, this guy is a shoe-in. Shoo-in? Whatever, he’s doing what’s worked here for ages. Kissel’s only chance is to spread a rumor that the Colonel has black children.
Barry got less votes than that “ultra librul” Kisell in the 8th.
So listen. I seriously wish you stupid white people with jobs in the capitalist sector would quit disparaging Sweet Lou for cashing a government paycheck all his life and going to the VA for healthcare.
After all, who better to stop healthcare reform and big government spending than a veteran military contractor.
Dumbasses.
Col. Lou “Cuddle Puddle” Huddleston is the new face of WHOPPERS malted milk balls, and he’s earned the full support of the red, blue, and yellow talking M&Ms.
WHOPPER/M&M 2012!
Huh. For a moment there I thought I saw “California” there in the headline, because Nancy’s district is California-8 and she regularly gets primary challenges from the left in good ol’ San Francisco.
No chance of her losing that one, though. Nancy was a party fundraiser. I would, however, devoutly wish for the wheeling-dealing spirit of her predecessor, Phil Burton of blessed memory, to inhabit both her and Spineless Harry Reid.
Z’he a colored???? He looks lahk a colored.
“Arg! Tis tha COLONEL! Wit ‘is wee, beady eyes! Temptin’ me wit ‘is polytix.”
And wtf? Is that an ad for teh Colonel or Parker Griffith?
Last thing you want to do is talk about how much you agree with your opponent that Pelosi is a heinous bitch.
Black Republicans R funny.
What’s sad is that this pitch just might work!
OMG, I didn’t realize this guy was black until you guys stated talking about it. I am such a fucking racist.
No desert, what’s sad is the superficial black recruit by superficial GOP head Steele cant win against self funding racist white REAL conservative and military contractor competitor to the black guy that gets undue preference because FOX NEWS is right, TIM D’CRAZIO!
This is going to be fun.
Give here for a front row seat.
You know who ELSE was a Colonel?
I for one think she’s quite fit for her age and the fact she’s spit out 8 kids. Does anyone have a photo of Pelosi in her younger days? I need some socially conscious fap material.
Don’t judge me.
user-of-owls: Darth Vader?
user-of-owls: Huddleston would totally lick Sanders.
(Right after licking his lips, and right before licking his fingers.)
I give up arguing with you stupid white racists.
Give here if you like your stupid white Congressman so much.
I’ll join in and say, that while I sort of think Pelosi is an irritating tool, this ad makes me want to have a late afternoon tussle in the Congressional Cloak Room with her. And I’m a homo. Let’s get Nancy!
PoignancySelz: Extemporanus: Oh, I’m sorry contestants. We were looking for http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_was_Hitler’s_rank_in_World_War_1
Though we gave half-credit for Klink.
I seriously wish you Wonkette homos would quit helping. You know everything you say will be in sweet (Fmr. Lt. Col.) Lou’s latest fundraising letter.
Neither Sweet Lou nor Tom Fetzer are gay, and Art Pope is more like a sour Daddy.
Grow up!
GiggleBox: you were arguing with us?
I love the obvious subtext of the Nancy photo: a powerful woman telling you (a man) what to do.
How 19th century !!!
Duh. I’m arguing with anyone that doesn’t support that black guy, what’s his name, that Mike Steele recruitedededed…ed.
Dumbass.
Catholics4Condoms: Nancy looks like she hasn’t slept in months in that photo. What’s the point of that? To say Nancy sucks because she’s working hard all the time? That she’s not manly enough and can’t handle not sleeping like an ex-colonel would? They also do a good job of de-botoxing her so that you can see wrinkles in her face
BerkeleyFarm: I think Nancy gets a bad rep for this. The House is pretty much doing it’s job and passing decent legislation (they even bitchslapped the banks yesterday)- it’s the Senate where things go horribly awry.
WhAt Up FaGgoTs?
You down with G O P?
Yeah, you know me.
V O T E H U D D E L S T O N
He’s black.
Fixed.
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2694/4029141315_1377e4ffd5_o.jpg
What is this about Huddleston running against Pelosi? He’s gotta live in the district to run for the Congressional seat of that district and — what? Oh. Never mind.
What is this Gigglebox and why has it not been ban hammered?
Methinks the Hudster protests too much about a little female “domination.”
I guess I’m just the crying on the inside kind of Wonkette troll Aquannissiwamissoo.
Sad for the Col., Nancy’s days as speaker are over, next in line
GRAYSON!!!
It’s time to send her a signal of our displeasure! Let’s band together and send her, uhhh… what scares “Nancies”?
GiggleBox: Lulz/Titz r GTFO!
Huh? I read books. Pahlease eggsplain.
Must be a b***ch to get dumped from the Army just short of a star on your collar, he must have said the wrong thing to some good-old-boy two-star someplace along the way. But, give the Colonel some points for realizing that the 8th district or wherever isn’t much of a fundraising base. If you want real cash you’ve got to join the 88,793 other Repugs campaigning against Evil Witch Pelosi and hoping that some PAC will dump a few pennies in your pocket. Or at least give him a platform for “consultant” work after he loses in 2010.
Hooray For Anything: Point well taken. Nancy’s got balls that Harry Reid only wishes he had, and she usually knows how to count votes.
Georgia Burning: Maybe he wants to cash in on the media circuit.
Wait until Nancy actually beats him in the election. Just imagine the look on his dumb kisser then.
What was it called when Newt was in power?
GiggleBox: “We’re all horny pigs, but you’re an attention-whoring troll.
Face it. This is /b/. Give us what we want, and we’ll give you what you want. TITS and you’ll get more attention than you can imagine.”
-Anyonymous
But this is Wonkette, and we like lulz just as much as tig ‘ole bitties.
and it’s called “reply” for a reason.
That’s actually a very sexy picture of Pelosi. As a MILF lover, I’d hit that.
The Col. kinda looks like a penis with eyes. Scary…
No party in history has been able to get more out of the Speaker of the House than the Republicans with Nancy Pelosi. I just love that they despise her, yes, because she’s based in San Francisco (raised in Baltimore, BTW), but mostly because she’s an accomplished woman with, you know, opinions on shit and, like, completely deserves her station in life.
Pelosi is impressing me more and more. I was never a fan, but she’s getting better, and the added benefit that she makes Republicans totally lose their minds certainly doesn’t hurt.
Please, I left NC to get away from these people!
For the one asking about a young picture of Nancy, here’s a picture of Nancy from 1962 Trinity College yearbook.
http://www.trinitydc.edu/images/pelosi/Nancy_Pelosi_1962.jpg