Advertising Inquiries:
wonkette@blogads.com
Tip Your Wonkette:
tips@wonkette.com
Editors:
Ken Layne | Email
Jim Newell | Email
Sara K. Smith | Email
Juli Weiner | Email
Intern:
Riley Waggaman
GUESS WHO IS AUDITIONING FOR CELEBRITY APPRENTICE?? That’s exactly right! Rod Blagojevich. He will compete against Tom DeLay, Meghan McCain and the parents of Balloon Boy in a series of challenges that will determine who personifies the most lucid argument against humanity as a general concept. [People]
11:18 AM
on Fri October 16 2009
By
Juli Weiner
682 Views
Wonkette
Can’t we just do what the Simpsons proposed; take a big bad ass rocket with the worst people that humanity has to offer and fire it into the sun?
Or develop a Phantom Zone?
ManchuCandidate: As long as Rosie O’Donnell is on it, as in the show, then yes. Yes, right now.
You’re kidding me… Jon Gosslein didn’t make the cut on this show either?
ManchuCandidate:
Homer: All that counts is that we’re alive and rubbing elbows with the greats. [gasps] Ooh, there’s Ross Perot, Dr. Laura, Spike Lee.
Bart: Wait a minute, they’re not so great.
Homer: Okay but there’s Dan Quayle, Courtney Love, [increasing panic], Tonya Harding, Al Sharpton… Ah! Tom Arnold! What the hell’s going on?
Bart: [looking out porthole] Wait! Only that ship’s going to Mars. Ours is headed for the sun.
Arnold: Yeah, ain’t that a kick in the teeth? I mean, my shows weren’t great but I never tied people up and forced them to watch. And I could’ve, because I’m a big guy and I’m good with knots.
Plus, what’s Blags going to pitch? A shiv-whittler so you convert your toothbrush into a deadly weapon in prison?
This just in:
Blagojevich just announced that he’s changing his name to Falcon Steele!
Will Ra’s al Ghul be playing the part of Simon Cowell?
Balloon Boy? Don’t they mean Balloon Girl? Oh wait, different person, thought it was referring to Megs McCain.
Just make sure they don’t have to fit him for headphones.
effing crazy
I can’t wait for the day Blago has to pull a Megan McCain for attention.
I don’t think it’s Rod that’s auditioning I think it’s the hair - it became self aware about 6 years ago, something Rod hasn’t quite achieved.
OMG, you didn’t mention Sinbad is also included! Maybe he’ll lead the whole group to Bosnia, and we’ll see which ones survive the sniper fire.
I’m just sorry Tom Delay will have to pass up this opportunity, as he’s in bed with his feet in the air. Because of his stress fractures, people! Get yer minds out of the gutter.
Is that the Bernie Madoff “Celebrity Apprentice” or the other one?
Trump and Blago? Epic. Hair. War. That is all.
Jebus. What pathological need is being fulfilled here? Is it just attention these people need?? Or some need to look stupid???
Why does my country keep rewarding dumbassery so? This has got to be a sign of some sort. Any mention of the apotheoses of dumbasses in Gibbons or Revelations or Nostradamus?
This post provides an opportunity to reflect on the momentous week that just unfolded. Historians will look back at this critical juncture…this week in which a party chairman called himself a cow, in which the daughter of a losing presidential candidate did not post nude pictures of her ample bosom, in which a boy did not float away in a balloon and in which a disgraced politician with extravagant hair will join a disgraceful real estate developed with extravagant hair on a third-rate television show…and they will be awe-struck.
I hear that his hair has an agent and is demanding to negotiate its own contract.
You know who else was a celebrity apprentice? Hitler.
(sound of needle scratching vinyl)
Oh, sorry. Got kind of a one-track mind these days. How in hell can you be eligible to be an apprentice when you’ve already been chief executive of a state? Also, it seems Blago’s trial isn’t gonna happen any time soon. Do the wheels of justice even spin anymore?
Avoiding jail by self-humiliation. A cunning plan.
steve: That explains a lot, actually.
hobospacejunkie: What is this vinyl of which you speak?
If this is a trick to get me to watch that show, it’s not enough. There is not enough. Well, unless Megs comes on to celeb that tank top? Nope, still wouldn’t watch.
Blago’s just desperate to get on a reality show, isn’t he? Going on Trump right after being forced to drop out of the “Get Me Out of Here” show, he needs to be on TV. Between him and the dancing Delay, this looks to be a new trend for disgraced politicians. Guess they are just famewhores, after all. Will Ted Stevens be trying out for the next Real World Cast?
TGY: Maybe he already pled out and this is some sort of alternative sentencing scheme. Good Gog, can you imagine what show he’d have had to appear on if he HADN’T pled?
Johnny Zhivago: Too recent. We’ll see him in about 5 years, when the Donald has gotten bored with the process and dumped it in somebody else’s lap. My guess is that Jon boy will appear on the first season featuring Geraldo Rivera as the big mogul after the show gets shunted off to GSN.
Trump has decided to go full ‘tard. That is all.
Please oh please oh please let them hire Orly Taitz as well…..
Throw in Levi Johnston and Omarosa and I’d DVR it.
I think Sinbad can take him. Heck, I think Cyndi Lauper can take him.
Ha. As soon as The Donald fires someone, Blogo will try to sell the empty seat to someone. Besides I’m pretty sure that Trump has a rule that no one on the show can have better hair than he does. Which would explain Joan Rivers.
Following is a sample of the comments that appear below the People article:
“If Bret Michaels is I watching and supporting!!!” She forgot to all “also, too” at the end.
This only makes my conviction stronger:
EAT YOUR TV
Milarod Bago’Dicks. Betcha they change his name for the teevees.
This is all the dastardly work of Blago’s Hair. He’s the real brains of the walking-talking operation that is “Rod Blagojevich”. Rod is just the muscle; the hair is the brains.
I think Blago’s Hair needs a new host; and seeing as how The Donald’s Hair is thin as an Olsen Twin, it’ll easily overtake Trump’s Hair in the boardroom and rule again.
Barack, watch your hair!