Wonkette
JUDGE CLAY LAND WILL TAKE THAT $20,000, THANKS: Georgia’s “best judge ever,” the dry wit Clay Land, was *not kidding around at all* last month when he put insane Birther lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz on notice for frivolous litigation: “Finally fed up with Orly Taitz’s repeated frivolous and conspiracy-ridden filings in a Birther lawsuit, the judge in the case has fined the crusading attorney $20,000.” That’s more money than there is in the entire economy! [TPM Muckraker via Rumproast]
Her response to the Court’s show cause order is breathtaking in its arrogance and borders on delusional.
Borders on?
~
“When a lawyer recklessly accuses a judge of violating the Judicial Code of Conduct with no supporting evidence beyond her dissatisfaction with the judge’s rulings, that lawyer abuses her privilege to practice law.”
Ouch! Don’t go dissin’ the judge, Orly! Not a good litigation strategy!
you too can practice law in your spare time. it’s easy! and no money down.
I’m quite sure that insane Birther lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz is a man and used to be the lead singer for the Sonics.
Can’t we just execute her?
So long, Cavity Creep.
Sacha Baron Cohen in drag. I’d put money on it, if I had money.
What’s Seka got to do with it?
If Oily Taintz is a “crusading attorney”, I’m a rich, white Republican male.
Nancy Sinatra looks TERRIBLE
Was there ever a combination of occupations that can cause more pain than “Lawyer/Dentist”? “This is going to hurt a little…”
Holy Cow!!: Submit her name to your local Death Panel™
How about some court-ordered anal?
This is horrible : Wet ‘n Wild is gonna have to lay off half of their employees !
Holy Cow!!: Send Halloween Head to the gallows, say I.
slappypaddy:
Taitz: All right gentleman. I will take your case. But I will require a thousand dollar retainer.
Bart: A thousand dollars. But your ad says “no money down”.
Taitz: Oh, they got this all screwed up. [corrects ad with felt-marker]
Bart: So you don’t work on a contingency basis?
Taitz: No! Money down! Oops, I shouldn’t have the Bar Association logo here either. [Taitz eats ad]
Now, who will revoke her license to practice dentistry?
Can she pay in Kenyan Shillings?
How much does it take to disbar her?
That’s the standard fine for failure to match cuffs and collars.
I’m looking forward to the inevitable mug shot photos and perp walk video. It will be interesting to see what Ms. Taitz, Esq. looks like without 3 lbs of poorly applied makeup and a bad wig (and by “interesting” I mean “frightening as hell”).
Is she wearing a vintage Dusty Springfield wig?
I’m sure this has been suggested before, but I’ll say it again: “Orly Taitz” would be a great name for a heavy metal band making a guest appearance on Flight of the Conchords.
Someone please post O RLY’s response from her website. I’m afraid to go there.
One of these days this kook
Is gonna shit all over you
Meh, lemme know when they seize her false eyelashes.
Terry: it actually takes quite a bit. Being a moran is not enough.
That’s “insane Birther lawyer-dentist-realtor” dammit.
Something tells me her sofas are slip-covered in plastic.
I love this judge, but what a terrible name. Clay Land is kind of terrible and worthless and can’t grow anything. It would be like naming your kid “Shit Burger,” or “George Bush.”
Crank Tango: With a writ of habeas lashes?
Orly Taitz is a disgrace to dentist-lawyers everywhere.
I had a High School teacher that looked just like her—in the SEVENTIES!!!!!!
I nominate Orly Taitz for GOP fresh faced, rising star of the year.
Can you imagine being one of her dental patients? Bad enough being a crazy lawyer, would you want her drilling in your mouth? I wonder how many patients she still has. (I was going to post a horrible dental picture here, but I couldn’t do that to you all).
Nothing says hawt like a sleeveless neon turtleneck.
I bet she can double this fine easy with her next response to the judge.
germansteel: Oral Taints?
/shudder
Don’t worry ORLY, there’s always the California real estate license.
I think the Olympic committee needs to check some DNA here.
HAHAHAHAHA!!
http://tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/10/birther_orly_taitz_responds_to_judges_20k_fine_sho.php?ref=fpb
Is there really any dental licensing board which would allow that crazy bitch to operate a drill inside a human head?
She should mate with Joe the Plumber and produce the world’s stupidest child.
Would some enterprising reporter PLEASE go ask for a comment on this from that handful of Republican Congresspeople who appeared to embrace the birther conspiracy theory?
I think it’s only fair that she be sentenced to serve three tours in Afghanistan.
She could totally pay that fine off by bartering the judge a few root canals.
That Seinfeld episode with the dentist pulling up his pants as Jerry woke up comes to mind for some reason . . .
Rut roh. In the order: “The Court further directs the Clerk of this Court to send a copy of this Order to the State Bar of California, 180 Howard Street, San Francisco, CA 94105, for whatever use it deems appropriate.” Girlfriend is gonna get disbarrrrrred.
In sincerely hope she does challenge this all the way to SCOTUS because Scalia would eat her alive. I suspesct he doesn’t take too kindly to lawyers calling judges treasonous. The liberal wing could just sit back and enjoy.
Country Club Jihadi:
Knitted covers for her toilet paper rolls.
V572625694: Lawyer/dentist/realtor. Even better!
So, when she is eventually jailed for refusing to pay the fine, will she use the opportunity to write a sequel to “Atlas Shrugged,” or “Mein Kampf?”
Shouldn’t there be a big, white G and P on either side of her head?
OILY TITS! OILY TITS! OILY TITS!
I just love me some sayin’ that
I’m stoned
Ooh, Orly’s looking mighty sassy in TPM’s latest update. Sassy is not necessarily a good look for her.
ManchuCandidate: Dream on. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with $20,000 from a California dentist.
Holy Cow!!: Why do you wish to snuff out our little flame of freedom and source of perpetual amusement? Why?
mardam422: Do you mean bracketing each ear?
Y’know, what with the fine and the media and all, she just might GO ROGUE!!!
Orly and Sarah, the new Thelma and Louise.
S.Luggo: “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with $20,000 from a California dentist.”
The funny/sad thing here is that it’s not Orly’s money but donations from (already-poor) bitters, PUMAs, and Teabaggers who are frightened of SOCAILISM (and Kenyans).
Keep the fines coming Orly! We need to pay off this national debt somehow
Gopherit: I LOVE that hawt come-hither look of hers.
*wretch*
Accordion-o-rama: Sarah / Orly - 2012!
DemmeFatale: I can do a decade better! My high school Speech teacher had that look — in the SIXTIES!!!
Every time I look at that picture, I think of Sid and Marty Krofft.
I’m guessing the root canal incidence rates in her dentistry practice will suddenly skyrocket to help pay for the $20k fine
Servo: LOL. It’s like HR Puffnstuff and Sigmund had a baby.
Okay, okay, okay we obviously have browshirts not only in the media but also on the federal bench. Please Orly more lawsuits so your wallet and morals can both be bankrupt.
Bruno: After her notoriety, would anyone let her get anywhere near their mouths?
Man, the full Order is just hilarious. And Taitz is more than a little insane - I especially liked her contention that the Judge secretly discussed the case with the Attorney General, because a guy she know saw a dude that looked just like AG Holder at a coffee shop near the courthouse.
Anyone else see her name and think: “ORLY? TAINTZ?”
No? Well, maybe it’s just me.
Cause of action? We don’t need no stinkin’ cause of action!
Orly Taitz is a lunatic psycho moron. She should be sentenced to living out the rest of her days locked in a cell in one of those secret buildings at Area 51.
superdave: For sure. I aslo think she looks like republican public restroom tranny bait.
Forty-three pages of judicial derision:
http://totalbuzz.freedomblogging.com/files/2009/10/taitz-fine.pdf
Judge is not so happy with our pouty Russian princess.
superdave:
Ornery Taint.
SmutBoffin:
If OrTay uses another source (i.e. not her own bank account) to pay the $20,000, then $20,000 would count as federal income to her. I’m certain that with her correspondence school law degree, she’ll pick right up on this. (Snicker-snee!)
We can only hope she sues herself. Then sues the judge, then SCOPUS. Fucking sue everybody.
She’s a little like Spalin, but a better test taker. Do we really want her to go away?
Well, back to grinding down molars.
mardam422: Somebody’s going to make a million bucks by creating hats like that to sell outside the next Republican National Convention.
Terry: More than it would take to rebar her.
In the right hands, a six-foot length of steel can be highly persuasive.
Mahousu: I think that’s her Lady Gaga wig.
Look, I know you all hate me.
And I enjo . . . :::whoops::: . . . respect that.
But just so we’re clear: According to the California State Bar website, the Dentist/Lawyer was admitted in California in 2002.
I was a Bar Grader between 1985 and 1987. Accordingly, you CAN’T blame ME!
“Not Responsible!”
Oh, and I heard Ms. Taitz is counsel of record in In Re Estate of Benazir Bhutto, Los Angeles Superior Court Case No. BP10971.
Ms. Bhutto being, of course, STILL DEAD!
In an idle moment, I just read that court order in its entirety. It’s like a short story written by Stephen Leacock, or James Thurber. Not matter that it’s a court order- I’m adding to my list of favorite short fiction. While Judge Land claims not to have found any joy in authoring the order, my guess is that he knew most other people, in reading it, would find plenty.
One Yield Regular: “In an idle moment” - you have my love, for the rest of your moments.
That guy is the worst Lady Gaga impressionist I’ve ever seen.
Mahousu: I bet she smells like vinegar and old cheese.
pub_option: Lady Gagag. /fixed
V572625694: It’s good, but not “analrapist” good…
Neilist: You just wish we all hated you. And Ted Kennedy, Still dead??
Her photo will appear in the next edition of Leo Rosten’s “The Joys of Yiddish” as the illustration for a “shanda für die goyim.”
Oh this order is a laugh riot. Definitely a worthy read.
Although Ms. Taitz’s
antics at that time caused the Court concern, the Court exercised
restraint, optimistically expecting that Plaintiff’s counsel would not
return for a repeat performance. The Court’s hopes were quickly
dashed…
Now I’m frightened!
I guess this is all we get for 20K in whore diamonds…
Suds McKenzie: Suds, the real question is whether Ted Kennedy was ever “alive” in the first place.
Hang on: Mary Jo K. is calling on Line 2 . . . .
Can anyone translate “Glug! Glug!” for me? Is that Hebrew, or what?
is it me or does orly look like Jason’s Mother’s head in Friday the 13th Part 2 and 4?
Liza’s later years have not been kind.
PlanetWingnuta:
Yes, actually.
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/friday%2013th%202%20betsy%20head%20in%20fridge.jpg
This is an essential comedy read. Seriously.
As to whether the Attorney General took time out of his busy
schedule to visit an “obscure” “coffee shop” in Columbus, Georgia on
July 16, 2009, the Court cannot definitively say because the Court was
not there. What the Court can say is that no reasonable attorney
would rely upon this affidavit in support of a legal argument in a
court of law.
Also the affidavit described Holder as having “a general olive complexion”. WOW.
Counsel’s contention that the undersigned has a financial
interest in this case is perhaps more preposterous than the phantom
visit with the Attorney General.
I can’t stop.
I got no problem with Oily Taint. It’s her brother Itchy that gets my goat.
Between the GOP website and this . . . who need The Daily show.
And I like what Salon found in Judge Land’s order:
http://www.salon.com/politics/war_room/2009/10/13/qotd/index.html
PoignancySelz: Tort reform?
All this controversy could have been avoided if everyone had just let her finish. Come on, people. Let her finish!!
Does she have to pay that fine out of the money she makes as a lawyer or can she use money she makes as a dentist too?
no one in their right mind would want this kind of trouble. i rest my case.
Just tack on an image URL to make anyone a new GOPer:
http://comicbooth.com/special/gop.htm?http://img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/orlytaitz.jpg
This is the same sexy lady who thought that forged birth certificate was real. Someone needs to take one for the team and feed her some obscene information about the judge so he can turn this into a full blown contempt hearing complete with time in the federal pokey.
superdave: I immediately see oily taintz.
hobospacejunkie: “these briefs are made for filin’?”
proudgrampa: I can go one decade worse in probably both directions. My “typing” teacher had that look in the late 80s and probably had sported it since the 50s.
One Yield Regular: (pages 15-16):
A. The Attorney General
“Ms. Taitz alleges that the undersigned may have discussed this case with the Attorney General of the United States. In support of this accusation, counsel submits the affidavit of Robert D. Douglas. Mr. Douglas states that on the day of the hearing in the Cook case, he saw in the “coffee shop” across the street from the federal courthouse someone whom he recognized as Eric Holder, the Attorney General. Mr. Douglas’s identification is based upon what he describes as the Attorney General’s “distinguishing features: his trim upper lip mustache, not large of stature and general olive complexion.”
The affidavit further states that Mr. Douglas “new [sic] instantly that it was none other than Eric Holder, the current Attorney General of the United States.” (Id.)
Mr. Douglas has apparently never seen the Attorney General in person, but Mr. Douglas states that he recognized the Attorney General because he had seen Mr. Holder on television. The undersigned has never talked to or met with the Attorney General. As to whether the Attorney General took time out of his busy schedule to visit an “obscure” “coffee shop” in Columbus, Georgia on July 16, 2009, the Court cannot definitively say because the Court was not there. What the Court can say is that no reasonable attorney would rely upon this affidavit in support of a legal argument in a court of law.”
To use this “evidence” in support of a false and misleading accusation that a judge had an ex parte conversation with someone whom the judge has never spoken to or even met is additional proof of a pattern of frivolous and outrageous conduct on the part of Ms. Taitz.
B. Stock Ownership
Counsel’s contention that the undersigned has a financial interest in this case is perhaps more preposterous than the phantom visit with the Attorney General.
greensprout: I should have read all the comments first. Sorry for the double post of the choice quotes from the text. It does make for fun reading. This part is particularly derisive:
“Thus, the legal matter from which counsel seeks recusal of the undersigned is the sanctions proceeding against her. While that proceeding will certainly affect Ms. Taitz’s financial condition, it is fantasy to suggest that these proceedings will in any way affect the fortunes of Microsoft and Comcast. Furthermore, counsel’s suggestion—that if she were to succeed on her frivolous claim, and as a result the President were removed from office, that these two companies would suffer as a result–is so speculative and ridiculous that it is not worthy of additional comment. The Court must nevertheless remind counsel that she has been fired by her former client, who has made it clear that she no longer wishes to pursue the matter. Therefore, counsel cannot possibly succeed on her main claim that she maintains would topple Microsoft and Comcast because she has no means to appeal the Court’s dismissal of that claim. “
notwavingbutdrowning: Page 21-23 addresses her comparison between herself and Thurgood Marshall. It is a model of restraint.
“To suggest that an Army officer, who has received a medical education at the expense of the government and then seeks to avoid deployment based upon speculation that the President is not a natural born citizen, is equivalent to a young child, who is forced to attend an inferior segregated school based solely on the color of her skin, demonstrates an appalling lack of knowledge of the history of Country and the importance of the civil rights movement. Counsel’s attempt to align herself with Justice Marshall appears to be an act of desperation rather than one of admiration. For if counsel truly admired Justice Marshall’s achievements, she would not seek to cheapen them with such inapt comparisons.”
Traveler: It is worrying to discover that there are birthers out there who are even more insane than Orly. I didn’t think it was possible.
Dean Booth: Thanks!
http://comicbooth.com/special/gop.htm?http://openbytes.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/jar-jar-binks2.jpg