Wonkette
GREAT LEADER REV. MOON TO STEP DOWN: Washington Times owner and Washington Times editor’s pick-selected author and loudmouth Korean Jesus, The Rev. Sun Myung Moon, is “going Lear” on his church: “SEOUL, South Korea – The Rev. Sun Myung Moon, now approaching 90 and still one of the world’s most controversial religious figures, is handing over day-to-day control of his Unification Church to three U.S.-educated sons.” He will spend the remaining years of his terrifying life fucking around with the aquifers and drug plantations he co-owns, with the Bushes, in Paraguay. [AP]
Musical highlights of stepping down ceremony: “Moon River”, “Moondance”, “Another One Bites the Dust”, and finally “Who Are You?”
Well someone is showing off his fancy English degree!
But how can the messiah retire when he still hasn’t brought about the promised age of peace and harmony to Earth? Lazy messiah!
sra: Ha — Jim actually admits to having a degree in English.
I hope it does end like King Lear. Looking forward to the Moonie Religoid Wars where armies of wide eyed lunatics in wedding dresses and tuxedos throw sashimi made with illegally caught fish at each other to the death as they fight over whose mass marriage is more sacred while Moonie watches Inchon (his one horrible attempt at movies) over and over again.
This way, Moon has more time to work on solidifying his sushi monopoly. I shit you not.
We can only hope that this ends as badly for Moon as it did for Lear.
For an Asian version of Lear, see Kurosawa’s Ran. Now add the collection of crackpots and dipshits at the Washington Times, a 45-foot long flying Hyundai limousine, and a Shyamalan-like twist where the flying car reaches heaven to find that God is indeed just a large version of the Right Honorable Reverend Moon. Fade to black. DIRECTED BY: ROLAND EMMERICH.
…to his 3 U.S. educated sons. Robbie, Chip and Ernie?
Which of his U.S. educated sons will take over maintaining editorial control at the Washington Times?
Are all the conservative outlets lead by commies n forruhners (WT-moon, Foxnews-murdoch, NYDT-Orly, Newsmax-Ruddy) ? Is skoalrebel aware of this?
Terry:
Shemp
ManchuCandidate:
That’s a step up, then.
I love it when bad news confirms my own prejudices. It’s what the Germans call ichhabsgesagtarschloch.
If Moon had built an empire on brats or Cincinnati chili, I would be deeply conflicted.
Oh the Howard Hughes-like stories about this ass clown we have to look forward to when he finally kicks the bucket. And that bucket will be filled with fried chicken. Delicious fried chicken.
What’s with Koreans and the family dynasties?
It’s only a newspaper moon.
Apparenly, Jedidiah Moon, Jesse Moon and DeWayne Moon, the sons, all of whom were educated at Harvard, Yale and Princeton, respectively, are preparing to take the Moon empire in new directions. First up is a multi-media, mixed-media, merged-market national collaboration with Larry Flynt and his empire, with the Times printing Hustler stories; a new magazine, “Asian Hustler,” featuring Asian women only; “Moonbeam,” a new offshoot of Flynt’s successful Hustler Club nightclubs, featuring only female Asian women who work in journalism performing; and a new hotel chain, “Moonlight,” featuring adult entertainment in the hotel clubs late at night. “This should improve those shaky bottom lines, no pun intended!” Jedidiah said in a statement. “This is great,” Flynt said in a statement. “If it doesn’t work out, I’ll still be fine. But it’s worth a try. We should make an impact in some new markets with this. It’s pretty funny, isn’t it?”
He’s retiring? Does this mean he’s not really Jesus II, after all? What kind of deity retires fer christsakes?
So disappointed.
I am angry, because I was excited to see alt text but then the alt text was DUMB. Or maybe I am dumb not to understand it?!
I am angry about being dumb!
gurukalehuru: The Reverend’s three sons are, no doubt, all graduates of the same institution that spawned Orly Taitz. Robbie as an ExecutiveEditor-Lawyer-Realtor, Chip as a MoonieMinister-Lawyer-Realtor, and Ernie as the tried and true Dentist-Lawyer-Realtor.
I guess those missiles NASA fired at him really made an impact, huh?
HENGH HENGH