Wonkette
- Herta Muller, the famed rather depressing Teutonic authoress, has won the Nobel Prize in Literature. [New York Times]
- Hooray, the Senate Finance Committee has approved the most recent health care bill, which means it could be sent to the Senate floor by the end of the month! [New York Times]
- Pakistan would rather the U.S. not interfere in its new civilian government actually, even if this would mean the U.S. would send along literally $8 billion in aid. [Washington Post]
- End-timesily, there have been four earthquakes in the past 11 hours in the South Pacific today. [CNN]
- Fall shopping was not such a hit this year it turns out, and it’s looking like most stores will be reporting declines. [AP]
- “Royal Mail” employees in England are THISCLOSE to striking after losing a contract with Amazon. Amazon loses things all the time though! [Guardian]
Is there such a thing as a Teutonic authoress who ISN’T “rather depressing”?
Oh, the unimaginable horror of wearing last autumn’s clothes this year! It’s unconstitutional! STIMULUS! STIMULUS!
Is that health care thing still going on? I thought Shouty Keith’s SPECIAL COMMENT was the final word & that everything would be wrapped by midnight last night & be on the president’s desk by 9am. Keith was best friends with Ted Kennedy, you know.
I see that The Maids are still advertising their services for the New Hampshire seacoast community. Times are certainly tough.
Maybe Pakistan would accept $8B if the sole requirement was that all the money be spent in US malls. Two birds one stone.
Royal Mail lost the Amazon contract precisely because so many posties from around Britain have been on strike at random intervals over the past month or so. The fact that they’re now all going on strike at the same time is what caused Amazon to go private instead.
It’s nice that that fuckface Baucus has seen fit to bestow his royal health care lobbyist funded nod to the health care bill, but if there’s no public option in it then it will be composed of solid FAIL, with no WIN in sight.
Should probably just spam Obama’s inbox with muddy dicks or something.
End-timesily, there have been four earthquakes in the past 11 hours in the South Pacific today.
George Will will prove it’s all Obama’s fault.
~
Pakistan’s just holding out for payment in euros.
I see that the Nobel Committee has once more shamefully overlooked the work of Dan Brown again.
four earthquakes in the past 11 hours in the South Pacific - as soon as California legalize pot the world will end and that’s what movie 2012 is all about.you heard it here first.
Liz Becton: Masturbating Max could’ve saved himself a fuckload of work by making his bill one paragraph in length with the sole provision being the transfer of $250 billion from the US Treasury to all the contributors to his reelection campaign. Would’ve been more honest, too.
And of course no German could enter the world stage without a connection to the Waffen SS, of which Frau Mueller’s father was a member. She has somewhat redeemed her family, though, by titling one of her books “The Foreign View, or Life is a Fart in a Lantern.”
Why was Wonkette not on the Nobel Prize short list? Those Swedish humans continue their Eurocentrism, is why.
Vulpes82:
The only non-depressing ones are the ones who dress as if they were Marlene Dietrich.
Ok, I’ll admit it- I had to google “Teutonic”, “Herta Muller”, and “Literature”.
Herta Muller, the famed rather depressing Teutonic autheress, has won the Nobel Prize in Literature.
Why is it I can’t get Lily Von Shtupp out of my head? I’m humming “I’m tiiiired, so tiiired”…
Terry: So top hat and tails?
Yea…they would prefer to be in a Burqa…than a G-String…all sarcasm intended…
Not to minimize these earthquakes but there are many earthquakes every day. http://earthquake.usgs.gov/
Pakistan reminds me of me when I was in college and calling my parents for cash.
Mom/US: Hello?
Me/Pak: Um, hi, US America/Mom. Could you send me $8 billion?
Mom/US: What? What happened to the money we sent you last time?
Me/Pak: Well, you see. Running a gubbiment/Going to school is tough (especially if you cut classes.) It’s not like we’re going to use it for nukes or bombing India/beer and condoms, US America/Mom. *Nervous laugh*
US: Let me talk to the Preznit/Dad.
Me/Pak: Nononononono. He’s still pissed about the last time.
America/Mom: I still want to talk to the Preznit/Dad. I’ll get back to you. Study/Run your gubbiment. Bye.
Me/Pak: SHIT!
Servo: Sirrah! I happen to make my living selling bling to people who do not need it and cannot afford it. What makes this an especially fulfilling life calling is that the items I sell are intrinsically value-less, which is sweet, and produces a frisson of delight to course up and down my spine whenever I reflect upon it. For this reason, I call upon you to cease with your cynical comments which call into question the social and ethical basis of our economy. It is vital that the people resume their mindless consumption, immediately; the acquisition of shiny things is the only transcendant spiritual value; if you cannot afford my shiny things, get a second job, cash in your retirement account, stop paying for non-essentials like healthcare, and of course, borrow. Jet skis, Harley Davidson Motorcycles, Be-Swooshed Sneakers, Cellular Telephonic Devices, these are our economy.
Royals ought to watch out, Amazons can be tough, one beat the crap out of me in third grade. And I wasn’t the one who did it either.
ManchuCandidate: Pak: I swear I din’t do drugs( make nukes)…
U.S.: Okay you need to send me the bills, I want to see where you are spending the money…(strings)
better?
Prommie: Oh jesus. The truth of your comment makes me wish for the imminent collapse of our sorry nation. How did we get it so wrong?
finallyhappy: No, no, message received loud & clear by the good people of Tuvalu & Vanuatu: your domain name services mean nothing to us.
finallyhappy: Yeah, yeah, but why are we hearing about these fuckers all the damn time now?
John Cusack is our only hope.
Since we’re giving both Pakistan & Israel tubs of money we should insist they switch locations and see if that makes a difference in the area.
So Pakistan shamelessly wants money from us–and then refuses to allow us to bomb the hell out of the cowardly moron terrorists who killed 3,000 of our citizens and who are continually living in Pakistan.
Really–just how insanely stupid can a country be? STUPID!
Many folks say: Let us in there and bomb the hell out of bin Laden and all of the other psycho terrorists hiding in Pakistan, and then we’ll think about maybe giving you a few bucks.
The blatant insanity and stupidity of some of the people running some of these countries is continually astounding.
the royal mail backed into our parked car a couple years back. and then they yelled at us.
true story.
hobospacejunkie: When you said that about Germans and the world stage I thought of Roger Debris. “OK, I want all the singing Hitlers over here, and I want all the dancing Hitlers over there.”
Hello Sunshine: So… Royal Mail is French?
Prommie: Well, that was depressing. And you look Teutonic … you should be up for a Nobel or at least a Pulitzer.
…but I digress…
Let’s get this clear, Pakistan’s government wants the money, their military doesn’t. Their military doesn’t because they are so infested with Taliban and Al Queda dudes that it’s not even funny; that, and overall corruption. Even the government, itself, is rather weary. I think it was their foreign minister that asked why we simply didn’t hand them over some Predator drones. And the US was all like “you’ll totally use them to bomb India”, and Pakistan was all like “no way, dude. Don’t you trust us?” And Hillary Clinton was all like “no.”